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Chicago Tribune Goes on Michael Phelps Pube Watch

Speedo

It's not just the gay blogs lcovering the prurient details of the Olympics. It's the Chicago Tribune, with a whole photo gallery.

Congrats to Phelps, who won his sixth gold medal of this Olympics last night.

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Comments

  1. Some queen pulled a fast one up in the Tribune...I love it.

    Yeah, Phelps does like wearing those britches pretty low. With abs like that, I probably would too.

    Posted by: The Milkman | Aug 15, 2008 1:31:24 PM


  2. His body is soooo weird. He's like a mannerist painting or something.

    That torso is Waaaay too long and shoulders are waaaaay too wide.

    But I did love the headline of USAToday today: "Can Phelps be Topped?" Yes, by a 7 foot guy with a 15 inch penis. LOL

    Posted by: Alex | Aug 15, 2008 1:37:54 PM


  3. "That torso is Waaaay too long and shoulders are waaaaay too wide."

    That's exactly why he is such an amazing swimmer.

    I'd hit it.

    Posted by: Naha | Aug 15, 2008 1:41:34 PM


  4. Great pics.

    His long torso and broad shoulders are sexy. The stubby legs don't do much for me though.

    Posted by: Matt | Aug 15, 2008 1:48:08 PM


  5. Is there an article to accompany the photos?

    If so, I can't find it. Exactly what controversy are they talking about? The suits make swimmers fast -- so what?

    Posted by: Marc in Chicago | Aug 15, 2008 1:49:14 PM


  6. great swimmer or not, his body's still weird.

    But that's just me. I'm short and compact and hitting Phelps would be like a chihuahua humping a greyhound. So maybe i'm just allergic to that body type? (oh and the fact that Banana Republic only makes clothes for long torsoed-broad shouldered guys. LOL!)

    Posted by: Alex | Aug 15, 2008 1:50:51 PM


  7. He's amazing..just when you think he may not make it..the last 50 he is a rocket

    Posted by: daveynyc | Aug 15, 2008 1:55:35 PM


  8. Stubby legs? That hunk of meat is six four--his legs are longer than yours.

    Also--maybe I'm just cranky today, but can't we just retire LOL? It belongs with emoticons in teenage girls' blog entries and nowhere else.

    Posted by: Christopher | Aug 15, 2008 1:56:18 PM


  9. I'm guessing Mr. Phelps has no pubes right now. While most of the athletes were at the Opening Ceremony last Friday night, he and Ryan Lochte were back at the Olympic Village having a shaving party.

    Posted by: crispy | Aug 15, 2008 1:57:15 PM


  10. Christopher, if you can suggest another means for conveying tone in a comment on a blog, I'd happily take it.

    LOL=my comment was meant in a jovial spirit. I use it often because my online life has sharpened my sense of snark and I know that can be misconstrued by some people.

    Posted by: Alex | Aug 15, 2008 2:02:19 PM


  11. Alex--just trust that your sense of humor comes through loud and queer! I love your comments but when I see lol it makes me think you think I won't get the joke without it being underlined. That's why it's irritating to humble me.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to correct the rest of the world's problems.

    Posted by: Christopher | Aug 15, 2008 2:11:18 PM


  12. Marc,

    I was interested in knowing what the big controversy was over too, so I did some hunting.

    Here is the link to the article:

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/olympics/chi-phelps-buff-14aug14,0,653338.story

    The whole article is drivel. Basically it’s just a bunch of hysterics at the mere sight of a hint of male pelvis.

    Posted by: RP | Aug 15, 2008 2:12:05 PM


  13. CHRISTOPHER: Phelps gave his dimensions in a recent article: he as a 32" inseam. That's unreal. He's 6'3"ish! I'm 5'10" with a 32" inseam.

    For a man his height to have that looooong a torso, a 6'7" wingspan, size 14 feet and 32" inseam... yes, his legs look stubby.

    And long torso and arms, and short powerful legs make him the world's most perfect speed swimmer.

    Posted by: JTlvr | Aug 15, 2008 2:13:41 PM


  14. CBS had an analysis of his "odd" body proportions. Despite being 6'-4, he only has a 30-in inseam. From the crotch-up he has the body and arms of someone 6'-8 to 6'-10, but the hips and legs of someone 5'-8"....and a tiny, flat butt. In one shot he was standing next to his coach, who's about the same height, and Phelps' waistband only came-up just above the middle of his coach's thigh.

    But rejoice, he has size-14 feet......

    Posted by: Ted B. (Charging Rhino) | Aug 15, 2008 2:20:41 PM


  15. Christopher, thanks for clarifying. I've just gotten burned online before for humor not being communicated properly. Some of it just makes me shake my head (I was once taken to task by friends because I suggested we ask if we can get a cabana boy with our Fire Island share next year).

    Phelps has a 32" inseam? Jeez. Well, now I empathize. I'm sure it's hard for him to buy clothes too :( (what am I saying he has a million gold medals. he can get his pants custom made!)

    Posted by: Alex | Aug 15, 2008 2:23:52 PM


  16. Hot guy stubby legs or not. But ha! I'm 5'7" with a 30" inseam. Whatever. Maybe I look weird, too.

    Posted by: Nick | Aug 15, 2008 2:27:03 PM


  17. Alex—fuck em if they don't get the joke!

    and JTLVR, you're right, that inseam attached to that body is freakish--what does it say about me that it's giving me a hard on right now?

    Posted by: Christopher | Aug 15, 2008 2:31:48 PM


  18. Puh-leeze on the LOL back-and-forth, girls.

    If you don't like it, you're going to be one bitter, angry queen by the time you finish your 'net sojourns.

    Why not just go out and scream at the kids for walking on your grass?

    Posted by: Jeff In Boston | Aug 15, 2008 2:36:10 PM


  19. Alex,
    In lieu of LOL, I heartily recommend my favorite internet acronym: JEAOMK

    Just Ejaculated All Over My Keyboard

    Posted by: crispy | Aug 15, 2008 2:37:30 PM


  20. That's nice, CRISPY, but that's for eye-candy, not hearty laughter, right? Then, again, I guess for some people Mister Phelps can bring on a JEAOMK. I prefer the swimmer behind him in the picture. He has a cute butt. Butt I'm not going to JEAOMK over his butt...there wouldn't be enough to go all over my keyboard anyway. Maybe I need to drink more liquids.

    The Olympics are hot, aren't they?

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Aug 15, 2008 2:49:45 PM


  21. "Great Swim! By the way, does this suit make me look fat?"

    Posted by: anon | Aug 15, 2008 3:00:21 PM


  22. Good point, Ms. D. Though I did know a guy who giggled every time he ejaculated. And another one who experienced a minor seizure whenever he came. He moved to Sydney.

    Posted by: crispy | Aug 15, 2008 3:03:38 PM


  23. Is Phelps on MANHUNT?

    Posted by: John in Manhattan | Aug 15, 2008 3:14:48 PM


  24. "...experienced a minor seizure whenever he came."

    Well, his trajectory of cum must have been very erratic. I could only have had meetings with him in the public park. It's not about the messiness, mind you. It's just that if paramedics are necessary, I don't want to be involved. Is that cold-hearted, CRISPY? Well, I'm sorry.


    ...I'd have to bathe before I called an ambulance for him anyway. The giggling cummer I could deal with.

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Aug 15, 2008 3:44:38 PM


  25. I can imagine Mr Phelps making those faces as he ejaculates on my bac, er, I mean my chest. Hee hee.

    Posted by: davefromtampa | Aug 15, 2008 3:46:49 PM


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