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Cruises and Beckhams to be 'Married' in Strange Ceremony

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This is really off the creepy deep end:

"Tom Cruise is to merge his family with Victoria and David Beckham’s in a special ceremony. The ‘Valkyrie’ actor will hold the bizarre service – during which the families vow to be brothers and sisters and exchange heartfelt speeches - at his wife Katie Holmes’ New York town house. The gesture serves as a Thanksgiving present from Tom - who has two adopted teenage children, Isabella and Connor, with ex-wife Nicole Kidman and a two-year-old daughter, Suri, with Katie - to the showbiz couple. A source said: 'Tom and David have been friends for years and they and their families spend a lot of time together. This year Tom wanted to make a special gesture that would show how much he appreciates their friendship and he thought this would be the perfect way.'"

The couples shared carriage rides and pizza this weekend.

Does L. Ron Hubbard join them on the honeymoon?

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Comments

  1. Money and fame and peculiar ways. Did movie stars used to be this crazy in old Hollywood?

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Dec 1, 2008 11:56:41 AM


  2. I have no idea why these other three are humouring Mr. Wingnut--he must be paying them millions, because I know that's what I'd demand.

    Posted by: David D. | Dec 1, 2008 12:03:45 PM


  3. ALL HAIL XENU!

    Posted by: JohnInManhattan | Dec 1, 2008 12:08:54 PM


  4. A celebrity Poly family! How great.

    Posted by: Raybob | Dec 1, 2008 12:12:23 PM


  5. Would someone please stick a feeding tube into Ms. Beckham. She looks seriously undernourished (and crabby because she's undoubtedly hungry). Having sex with her must be like screwing a bathrobe. There's nothing there.

    Posted by: B-rod | Dec 1, 2008 12:13:06 PM


  6. April Fool's day is APRIL 1st, not December 1st...

    Posted by: Scott B. | Dec 1, 2008 12:13:22 PM


  7. Okay, who wants to be a fly on the wall at this sanctified, Holy foursome?

    Posted by: Taylor Siluwé | Dec 1, 2008 12:25:47 PM


  8. Sorry, not buying this story one bit.

    Posted by: crispy | Dec 1, 2008 12:26:34 PM


  9. One man, one woman indeed. Can't we pass a proposition about this?

    Posted by: Gianpiero | Dec 1, 2008 12:37:56 PM


  10. I'm convinced this is all an elaborate charade on Tom's part to convince David to sleep with him. Good luck, mr.crazy.

    Posted by: Ben | Dec 1, 2008 12:38:41 PM


  11. We know TC totally got this idea into his head after Becks' Armani ads. And I have to say, genius move. Who wouldn't want to marry into that bedroom?

    Posted by: Kuhnsy | Dec 1, 2008 12:48:18 PM


  12. No, if true, this isn't gay at all, Tom.

    Posted by: jeffy | Dec 1, 2008 12:48:38 PM


  13. in an unexpected way, maybe it might foster diversity in the concept of marriage and communal bonding which inadvertently may help our situation in gaining support for marriage equality. I also think these particular stars are all desperate for all the press they can get to stay relevant.

    Posted by: Jeff Guard | Dec 1, 2008 12:49:13 PM


  14. Well I worked with someone ages and ages ago who said Tom was an oddball in high school. Obviously things haven't changed.

    I never understood his "appeal" in fact, if Tom Cruise is in a movie... I won't watch it.

    I don't get the "Becks" appeal either, him or her.

    I would usually not even read a post about Tom Cruise or the Becks, but i'm avoiding work, lol.

    Posted by: qjersey | Dec 1, 2008 12:55:23 PM


  15. This isn't exactly going to end the gay rumors swirling around the two men.

    Posted by: anon | Dec 1, 2008 12:55:44 PM


  16. Four lonely, desperate, needy people looking for constant attention and affirmation. The whole lot is truly pathetic.

    Posted by: paul c | Dec 1, 2008 12:58:22 PM


  17. So Heidi and Spencer can have a shame publicity elopement and now hollyweird couples can get, what, some sort of domestic partnership. And they say same-sex marriage makes a sham of the institution. Where are James Dobson and his new mormon friends. This will only lead to John Travolta entering into a relationship with one of his jets or Kirsty Alley marrying a chocolate cake.

    Posted by: Todd | Dec 1, 2008 1:01:35 PM


  18. For lack of a better word: that's retarded.

    Posted by: Cody | Dec 1, 2008 1:24:56 PM


  19. More Love, Less Hate

    Posted by: Jedd | Dec 1, 2008 1:43:48 PM


  20. So a foursome for the honeymoon to "share the brotherly love"? Will TC finally get to legally handle, let alone ride Becks "Boing"? Are matching tattoo's in their future?

    Posted by: Rad | Dec 1, 2008 1:53:59 PM


  21. all of them are fucking nuts!

    Posted by: Jimmyboyo | Dec 1, 2008 2:22:13 PM


  22. Tom Cruise is an overrated asshole. Katie Holmes has the personality of burnt toast. David Beckham hasn't won the World Cup or a European Championship, and yet people think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Groan. And Victoria Beckham has to be the least talented woman of all time. Clearly, these motherfuckers deserve each other.

    Posted by: Alex Sarmiento | Dec 1, 2008 2:23:39 PM


  23. 'Screwing a bathrobe' would indicate that there is possibly some softness to be found on Posh 'Shoehorn' Beckham. It's all a bit sad. None of them seems happy, confident, or the least bit relaxed. Each person looks as though they planned separate poses for solo photo ops: they also look as though they're not even aware of one another's presence, and they want to further their bond? Start by smiling when you're together, then maybe dinner, a weekend trip together, meet each other's parents... baby steps.

    Posted by: A Little Brittle | Dec 1, 2008 2:26:32 PM


  24. Actually, Alex, David Beckham did win the European championship in 1999 when he was playing for Manchester United.

    Have to agree with you about the other 3.

    Posted by: crispy | Dec 1, 2008 2:34:36 PM


  25. Children, children... It doesn't seem to have occurred to any of you to respect an unconventional family structure.

    Queers used to be known for such, but now that we're all marriage wannabees shrilly demanding respectability, I guess we're scheduled to become just as smug, incurious, and bourgeois as straights.

    Posted by: Bryan | Dec 1, 2008 2:47:34 PM


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