Cristiano Ronaldo | Football | Sports

Cristiano Ronaldo Has a Sexual Awakening?


On field self-discovery at Manchester United, AFTER THE JUMP...

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  1. Deleted already? That was fast!

    Posted by: secretagentman | May 14, 2009 11:33:30 AM

  2. I have a feeling Christiano thinks we're pretty pathetic...

    Posted by: BetterDays | May 14, 2009 11:40:35 AM

  3. OK, somebody better give us a rundown of the contents of this clip... My imagination is literally in overheated overdrive just trying to make (narrative porn) sense out of the two pix on this page... :-(((

    Posted by: Quizzical | May 14, 2009 11:41:13 AM

  4. love it! he's like wait, what? then he's mesmerized. then he ponders it. too cute.

    Posted by: nic | May 14, 2009 11:49:21 AM

  5. It wasn't deleted for me. It's lame. It shows a guy thrusting his hips up with what looks like an erection, and the gay next to him (Ronaldo?) sits up after seeing it and looks around, confused. "The Village Peoples" song is playing in the background. Yawn.

    Posted by: CJ | May 14, 2009 11:50:17 AM

  6. Classic! Brilliant even....

    Rants, Thoughts & Merde

    Posted by: nativenyker | May 14, 2009 11:56:31 AM

  7. LOL! That was very funny!!! His face... priceless, maybe that got him thinking :D

    Posted by: Beto | May 14, 2009 11:57:44 AM

  8. Come on! Even straight guys check each other out in the showers! [cough]

    Marvelous footage.


    Posted by: Rad | May 14, 2009 11:58:50 AM

  9. So is that Rooney?

    Posted by: crispy | May 14, 2009 12:08:47 PM

  10. and somebody hands him ... a tambourine ....

    Posted by: HERZUNDSCHNAUZE | May 14, 2009 12:25:20 PM

  11. It looks more like he's thinking.. 'Jeezuss why don't I have a package like that'.

    However it is hot.

    Posted by: realitythink | May 14, 2009 12:27:43 PM

  12. crisrti is the best

    Posted by: Ruzanna | May 14, 2009 1:35:47 PM

  13. wat idiyots i mean everyone would have an expression on their face like that if they saw something simmilar stuff, it's just tat he gets filmed 24/7
    go and get a life please whoever took this stupid thing, jelousy is so damb too much in this world

    Posted by: critiano777777777 | May 14, 2009 1:45:01 PM

  14. definitely gay realization..

    Posted by: Ford | May 14, 2009 2:05:28 PM

  15. "Ohh, a boner... HOT!" thinks a distracted Ronaldo; however, he realizes that he is at practice with his teammates.

    He gets up, still momentarily mesmerized by the prominent boner to the left of his teammate and shakes it off, saying to himself, "Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts!"

    Posted by: Nat | May 14, 2009 2:49:40 PM

  16. Realitythink is right. "It looks more like he's thinking.. 'Jeezuss why don't I have a package like that'."

    You can tell when he looks down at his own, right after, with a look of bafflement...

    Posted by: Ryan | May 14, 2009 3:27:43 PM

  17. I'm with the theory that he's thinking 'Why don't I have a package like that'. About three or four months ago he was in the same restaurant as a friend of mine. When Cristiano went for a pee, several other men left their tables and decided they urgently needed to piss. When Renaldo came out of the toilet, he was followed by the men who gleefully waggled their little finger to their wives and girlfriends. He might have the good looks, the money and the talent, but in at least one area, he's apparently underwhelming

    Posted by: Darrien | May 14, 2009 8:25:15 PM

  18. Umm, that's not an erection. It's a cup. No man would play pro soccer without one.

    Posted by: Paul R | May 14, 2009 10:46:43 PM

  19. @ Darrien
    Funny you say that 'cause all his ex-girlfriends have mentioned he's well-endowed and gifted in bed. You should look at some of his pictures closely ;)

    Posted by: Anon | May 15, 2009 2:10:00 AM

  20. @ Darrien

    Most of my friends are straight men, and I can't think of one who would follow another man into a bathroom to see how big his dick was---celebrity or no. And if Renaldo had something to hide, he'd likely use a stall.

    Not to mention, the size of a flaccid dick is often a poor barometer of a hard one (Growers v. Showers, 1966---Growers won).

    Posted by: Geronimo | May 15, 2009 2:22:29 AM

  21. That restaurant story is absurd. Presumably it was a decent restaurant, so the urinal wasn't a trough. So, what, did Renaldo wave his tiny dick around to the crowd of straight men who followed him in there? All of that seems really plausible.

    Posted by: reality | May 15, 2009 6:29:59 AM

  22. @ Anon above. It's potentially libellous in English law to say someone has a small dick. You can say someone is a lousy lay or gay or lesbian or makes a sound like a mating walrus at climax and that's not libellous. But as the tabloids have discovered, the dick size thing is treated warily because of the proof issue - as various British tabloids have discovered to their cost.
    As for the rest of you, it's how it was reported to me and as I trust the source, I can believe it happened - not least because it was in Manchester where there are more than enough Man City supporters who would be delighted to report on the inadequacies of a Man Utd player.

    Posted by: Darrien | May 15, 2009 4:45:46 PM

  23. @DARRIEN,

    there is no need to get into a gay international contretemps over this. cristiano is a beauty, and his facial expressions on that 8 second vid are gold. i wish i could have read his mind during those moments. i wonder how many thoughts were racing through that pretty head of his, and what they might reveal. still, i will have to rule your 'evidence' as hearsay.

    Posted by: nic | May 15, 2009 9:10:27 PM

  24. Nic, you're right and I'm just being irksome on this. So I apologise. I'm just irritated because I was being called a liar. I was actually so worried about what I said that I went off and researched Cristiano on google images when he was in his swimming trunks. Honestly, it was just research. Yes, what I reported is hearsay, but once one starts looking at the pap pics of him in his swimming trunks,, it's difficult to argue against. Obviously, once he gets sexually excited I'm sure he's a stallion.

    Posted by: Darrien | May 15, 2009 9:36:57 PM

  25. DARRIEN,

    ah, now i get your drift. one is either packing a horse's dick, or one is pinky size. surely, there must be a happy medium. i have never been a size queer: i care more about the size of the man, figuratively and symbolically than the penis that is attached to him. i figure the 'bloke' and i can make things work, or work things out.

    i will still have to rule against you. this court does not accept hearsay nor empirical evidence filtered through speedos. haha!

    Posted by: nic | May 15, 2009 10:11:15 PM

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