Comments

  1. Hank says

    Partner? They’re legally married in California (until California unmarries them). She and her wife had twins…

  2. ben says

    congrats

    Unrelated comment though, please don’t ever have ads with video and sound ever again. Let alone THREE that play at the same time on different parts of the page! That was awful…..

  3. Jeff says

    Thank you People mag for referring her as her wife – and not in quotation marks or anything! We’re winning….

  4. redbearded says

    Yay!
    Congrats to the happy parents.
    And when they’re old enough I’m sure she’ll be a good parent and warn them not to talk to strangers… or Dick Cheney :)

  5. says

    Congratulations! All the best to Wanda and her family.

    @ BEN: if you’re running Safari, try ClickToFlash, which stops Flash items from playing w/our your OK.

  6. says

    OMG

    Please get a handle on your over usage of ads and NEVER EVER USE ads with sound.

    It’s getting absurd, really. And this is my daily visit, if not hourly visit site.

  7. Amy C says

    How wonderful (babies) and perfect (one of each)! Congratulations to Wanda and Alex!

    I don’t know if they used Wanda and/or Alex’s eggs. But I imagine the babies with Wanda’s gorgeous skin tone and wry smile.

  8. Christopher Inverarity says

    O.M.(F.S.M.)G. Three SCREAMING auto-play adds?! I couldn’t even stay to read the content. Sorry, these things go or so do my eyes and clicks!

  9. Puddy Katz says

    I had to click that damn add five times to get it to stop.
    I will stop coming here if you keep them up.

  10. tominsf says

    I just want to reinforce the comments about the unbelievably IRRITATING audio ads. We (and I’m speaking of your loyal readers) shouldn’t have to go searching around the page for mute buttons, or be forced to turn audio off and on locally for every webpage.

  11. Paul says

    Wanda and her partner did not ‘have’ twins because two women cannot make a baby. And her parter Alex is not her ‘wife’ because wife is the opposite of husband (not lesbian partner). We need our own institutions and terms that reflect who we are. Equality and homogeneity are not mutually exclusive. The relationship between man and wife is profoundly different than it is between two lesbians or two gay men. Saying so does not make it so.

  12. says

    Sorry about the ads with sound guys. We DID NOT approve them. They were placed by one of our ad networks and we are working to get them removed ASAP.

  13. BD1421 says

    Paul,

    “Saying so does not make it so.”

    We can apply that logic to your thoughts then, I suppose?

  14. Kipp says

    “We need our own institutions and terms”

    Paul,

    I’m not sure we need our “own” terms for things that aren’t very different. It seems quite sensible to me that the woman to whom Wanda is married is referred to as her “wife.” Likewise, I think Wanda’s wife can sensibly be said to “have twins” since that is what she did. Finally, if a man and wife can be said to “have a baby” even when the woman has used a sperm donor (and such couples are spoken of that way) then so can Wanda.

    “Wanda Sykes is married to her wife and they just had kids.” – the words in that sentence seem pretty faithful to reality to me…

  15. Paul says

    BD421: I didn’t just say so, I added an argument, however brief, to support my assertion.

    KIPP: I happen to think that IT IS all that different. I don’t see why that is a negative thing to say. Nothing wrong with being different.

    As for the word ‘wife’…I can only think of one other time I heard a lesbian refer to her wife: The Mellisa Etheridge acceptance speech (and this website put the word ‘wife’ in quotes when it posted about it). It’s a new thing to use the term ‘wife’ and it feels forced to me. I see no reason why the language shouldn’t be more specific.

  16. GregV says

    Paul, “wife” is not the “opposite” of husband; it is the word for a spouse who is female.
    And a relationship is not “profoundly different” because of the sex of the two partners. For example, my relationship with my spouse of the same sex is surely more like certain opposite-sex partners’ relationships than like some other relationships of same-sex partners. Our gender is just one of thousands of characteristics we possess as individuals, and the words that exist in the English language suffice as much for us as for any couple.
    Wanda Sykes’ special someone can be described as her wife, spouse or partner, just as Laura Bush can be described as George W’s wife or spouse or partner. What annoys me is those media that alter the wording to ‘dumb it down” when mentioning gay people and their relationships, or use insulting quotation marks as if gay people are pretending. (ex. Ellen’s so-called “relationship” with her “wife” Portia was “celebrated” in a “wedding” in California.) That’s the way WingNut Daily and other right wing nut jobs treat us, rather than just reporting on us as if we share the planet Earth with everyone else.

  17. Paul says

    Gregg,

    I have never seen Ellen’s relationship to Portia DeRossi put in quotation marks. I am not following their relationship so maybe I missed it. As for wife and wedding, if they had their wedding after Prop. 8 than it was indeed a ‘wedding’ and Portia is indeed a ‘wife’. I have never heard W. refer to his ‘partner Laura’.

    Also I don’t know how you and your partner are. But I do know that most of my friends, and myself, tend to move in a serial monogamy pattern as opposed to lifelong love. I’m 26, so who knows, but statistics bear out this impression. Marriage has been legal in Amsterdam, Toronto, and Massachusettes long enough for a trend to emerge: Gay people pair up at an INVERSE rate as compared with straight couples. The ‘rush’ to get married that you read about on Towleroad quickly becomes a trickle. That’s not for nothing, we are different.

    I agree that it is better for us POLITICALLY to apply these terms to gay couples, but I don’t think it does justice to the reality of human nature.

  18. doro says

    and thanks for finally coming out! I was so proud of you when you came out right in the middle of prop 8 saga.

  19. says

    Paul, maybe YOU are different. I’m a lesbian and MY friends (both male & female) aren’t serial monogamists, most of them have been in relationships for 10+ (I’m in my 40’s, so if I was older, the numbers would be higher) years, and as far as I can tell, they’re all planning to spend the rest of their lives with their current partner/spouse (some live in states or countries where they were able to marry legally). I suppose that maybe when we were all 26, we weren’t settled down for life, but most of my friends were looking for exactly that…just like straight people. We aren’t different from straight people. Some people want different things from relationships than others, but that has nothing to do with orientation. 50% of heterosexual marriages fail, so maybe they’re the ones who are “serial monogamists”. Well, them and you. 😉

    There’s nothing intrinsically different about our relationships compared to heterosexual relationships. We all fall in love and make plans to have a home and family (whether it’s kids or pets or shared extended relatives or just the two of us), and spend our lives together. We don’t need new words for the same thing. When people get legally married, the man is a “husband” and the woman is a “wife”. So, I have no trouble with same-sex spouses using the same words to indicate the same thing. It seems rather silly to make up new words for the legal definition of a spouse when we already have husband and wife, and those words seem to work just fine.

    Oh, and Ellen & Portia are legally married. They were married before the idiotic Prop. 8 passed.

    As for Wanda & Alex, they’re the parents of the twins just like any other parents, no matter how the children were conceived. It’s none of our business exactly how the children were conceived, whether the couple is straight or gay. The final result is all that matters – this legally married couple are the parents of these twins. Period. My brother’s first child was adopted and we don’t try to come up with some other term for her parents (my brother and his wife) other than, HER PARENTS.

    Oh, and my relationship has lasted longer than two of my three brothers’ heterosexual marriages. So, again, how are “we” different? Actually, from the comments here, I guess we’ve all pretty much come to the same conclusion…*you* are different. The rest of us want the same things as other humans, regardless of sexual orientation, and we have no need to call our relationships or children by any new names. Children, husband, wife, marriage – those are all terms that work perfectly fine for most of us. If you don’t like the terms for your particular relationships, don’t use them, but don’t try to tell the rest of us that we’re wrong for wanting the same things that people throughout time have wanted.

  20. says

    By the way, should Wanda stop by – congrats to Wanda & Alex on the birth of their twins. I wish them good luck and full nights of sleep.

  21. Paul says

    BD1421: Substantive is indeed a word. Your welcome to Google it.

    Flippyo:

    All you’ve shown me is that you are a stereotypical, shrill partisan. Someone has a different opinion and your response is a post that is caustic and accusatory. There is room for more than one opinion. As for the content of your post:

    50% of marriages do not end in divorce, and the rate of divorce in your family is higher than most.

    As for you the *YOU* accusations…I am not just basing my opinion on my personal life but the fact that so few gay people in Massachusetts, Canada, and the Netherlands have elected to get married. In the case of the Netherlands marriage has been legal there for a decade. Why not more gay marriages? Why aren’t the SAME proportions of gays getting married? Also why so many more lesbians in Massachusetts? Do you think these things suggest nothing?

    Finally what is so wrong about being different or being classified differently? Why the outrage? Assuming one day we will all be equally protecected under the law, why is it so important to be insist that we are just like John and Jane?

  22. troschne says

    Congrats to Wanda and her wife, Alex!

    I don’t care if Wanda weren’t gay, she makes me LMAO every time I see her, and I’m happy to have her on our team.

    Paul–lighten up–you’re 26–lots of years ahead of you, God willing, so that bitterness will only get worse, which can cause a lot of health problems. Bask in the enjoyment that things keep getting better all of the time for our community, and don’t dwell on all of the negatives! You weren’t even born when most of the heavy lifters broke ground so that you have the acceptance that you have today. Think about that…

  23. nic says

    @PAUL,
    what exactly was shrill, stereotypical, or partisan about FLIPPYO’s response? statics can be made to fit whatever argument, however, the proper way to find the rate of divorce is to divide the number of divorces (3.5) by the number of marriages, (7.6). The result is 0.46, or 46% (as of 2008 in the u.s.).

    according to divorcemag.com, as of 2002, the divorce rates in countries similar to the u.s., are as follow, respectively:

    Sweden
    Finland
    Luxembourg
    Australia
    United States
    Denmark
    Belgium
    Austria
    United Kingdom

    54.9
    52.9
    51.2
    47.4
    46.7
    46
    45.6
    43.3
    42.6

    you can do the math. at the same time, there are many straight couples in the process of divorce in the u.s. depending on law in the different states, at any given time, a large number of hetero couples are ‘separated’, heading toward divorce. i think that FLIPPYO is much more on the mark with the 50% estimation.

    as to the frequency of gay marriage in cities, states, and countries that permit it, that is neither hear nor there. whether one elects to marry or no, is off the point. all persons should be able to choose one way or the other.

    further, i am not sure what your semantical challenge is to the use of ‘wife’, ‘husband’, or ‘marriage’. i don’t know what it is within your psyche that makes this an issue for you. frankly, i don’t care

  24. IveHadWorse says

    Yes, ‘substantive’ is a word, but he still didn’t use it in either of its proper forms.

    As for gay people choosing not to get married, despite the ability to do so legally: I am a 22 year old Canadian lesbian living in Vancouver, BC. I am getting married next May, to my wonderful fiancé who is 30. I happen to know two gay couples last year alone who got married. One couple, in fact, were two Anglican priests. That being said, I think it’s unfair to state that simply because you and your circle of friends are choosing not to solidify your relationships (perhaps because you’re not at that place in them, or perhaps you’re opposed. That’s neither here nor there.), does not mean for a second that it isn’t being done.

    Based on 2002 statistics, in BC alone there was a 3.5% increase in gay marriages, numbering a total of 734 marriages and in the Yukon (which if you’re familiar with Canada is a large territory with a small population, mostly conservative) it numbered 15 more gay marriages, an increase of 10.5% over the previous year.

    In BC in 2003, the percentage of out-of-province couples getting married was an overall of 4.5% (up from 2% the previous two years), and the percentage of out-of-Canada couples was 55.9% out of 774 overall gay marriages.

    Now, obviously there has been many changes since 2003, but considering there has been even minute increases, it’s safe to say that it is still increasing.

    Do not negate the fact that gay people have fought for this right, and are most certainly utilizing it. You should be more respectful of that struggle. They have made it possible for you to one day wed, though perhaps not in your state or your country, and to call your partner by whatever term you like.

    I’m sure I’m not the only one who takes offense to your opinion that our relationships are intrinsically different. You may feel that way, and as you’ve said it’s your opinion, but you must recognize that it does not reflect the population at large. You might feel you have different relationships from straight people, but I guarantee that not all of your partners would agree with you.

  25. Paul says

    He did use it in one of its proper forms:

    “Thanks for the substantive reply”

    Here it is from the dictionary
    “possessing substance; having practical importance, value, or effect: substantive issues under discussion.”

  26. My partner's partner, that's me says

    A wife is a “married woman considered in relation to her husband” and a husband is a “married man considered in relation to his wife” at least in my dictionary and in my mind as well. I love words and need to see them used properly. Wife & wife and husband & husband are not proper uses of the terms. Hearing this nonsense always makes me want to laugh but only after I first cringed. My partner is my partner. Spouse, spousal equivalent, significant other, other half, better half, main squeeze – we don’t care want you call us but you’d better never call us wife & wife because that’s just plain ridiculous to our ears. Furthermore, I never wanted to be anyone’s wife. The word has a lot of baggage, historically, that for some women, the sort of woman I am, caused them to never aspire to the role. There is good reason to find new terms but it’s easier to march in step, unquestioningly, with the traditional terms. But that doesn’t make it sensical.

  27. Chandoso says

    For Paul, who said “The relationship between man and wife is profoundly different than it is between two lesbians or two gay men.”

    Don’t feel bad; someday straight marriage will be as good.

  28. says

    Omg! Our world really has hit rock bottom! Pathetic that we need to applaud lesbian marriage and claiming they had children. Wow unreal! Cmon! Grow up and quit acting so stupid like its so cool to be gay only because u don’t want to put the work into a true husband and wfe relationship