News: Zac Loses Hair, Kern Gets Stern, Goldman $tack$ the Deck

 road Very important update: the Delhi High Court's ruling decriminalizing homosexuality actually does apply to all of India.

Zac-efron-haircut-02 road Somewhat less important update: Zac Efron gets shorn.

 road Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern (R-duh) issues a morality proclamation that equates homosexuality and marriage equality with sex trafficking and child abuse. Don't feel too bad—divorcées, those who bear children out of wedlock and porn aficionados don't make out any better.

 road Has Goldman Sachs "engineered every major market manipulation since the Great Depression"?

 road Rumors that Michael Jackson (who was mixing the painkillers OxyContin and Demerol with a surgical anesthetic called Diprivan) had a cancerous lesion removed from (what was left of) his nose are confirmed. His funeral service—dubbed Michael Jackson Celebration of Life—to be held Tuesday at L.A.'s Staples Center, is projected to be one of the most-viewed events ever, drawing comparisons to the funeral of John F. Kennedy, the Apollo 11 moon landing and the finale of M*A*S*H. Want to attend? Enter here for tickets.

 road Happy birthday, Malia Obama.

 road Why it's sometimes okay to ask Mexican students to "pull it out."

Gallery_main-kellan-lutz-social-life-magazine-photos-07012009-03  road New Moon star Kellan Lutz improves his Social Life.

 road In light of the recent spate of air disasters, meet Juliane Koepcke, who at 17 in 1971 survived a plane crash, plunging two miles from the sky into the Amazon rainforest…still attached to her row of seats.

 road Is Martina Navratilova screwing over the gays…or are the gays screwing over Martina Navratilova?

 road Vice President Biden's surprise trip to Camp Victory in Iraq leads him to tell George Stephanopolous the reports from Commanding General Ray Odierno were "more optimistic" than he'd expected. Biden also used the visit to see his son, Beau, who was stationed a few minutes away.

SafariScreenSnapz001  road The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee sent its 2009 Priority Issues Survey to all of its fave donors, asking them to vote on which issues should be prioritized this year. See if you can name a dozen Democratic priorities without listing a single LGBT issue—because the DCCC can.

 road You're never too old to camp it up.

 road New York Governor David Paterson, who's only slightly more popular than H1N1, is meeting with Senate Republicans and Democrats (who are actually a few percentage points below the flu) today as a spokesman suggests progress is being made toward sharing power.

 road What it took for Sherri Shepherd to refuse candy.

MJ & Madonna 1_jpg  road The Queen of Pop salutes the fallen King—the second leg of Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicks off in London tomorrow with at least three major set changes. On the Jacko tip, portions of "Billie Jean" and "Wanna Be Startin' Something" are reportedly incorporated into a new version of "Holiday" (replacing Hard Candy album track "Heartbeat"), which is already packed with bits of "Everybody" and the new song "Celebrate." Other surprises spoiled here. (Good luck getting to O2 Arena.)