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Oklahoma Catholics Upset About Jesus Christ's Abs


A ten-foot tall crucifix is causing controversy at a Catholic Church in Oklahoma:

"The controversial crucifix has caused a deep divide among members of St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church, where it hangs above the main altar. 'There are a couple people who have left the parish,' said the Rev. Philip Seeton, the church’s pastor. 'There are people in the parish who don’t like it and have stayed.' Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis covering Jesus’ abdominal area. Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus’ abdomen 'showing distension' — not a penis. Seeton said, 'I’ve had people who have vocally said that that’s what they see there. I’ve had people who have been just as vocal who said that’s not what they’re seeing there.' Janet Jaime, a local iconography artist who designed the crucifix, had no comment."

The crucifix is based on the San Damiano Crucifix. As you can see, it has distended abs too.

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  1. Once again, those perverted straight Christians in Oklahoma are OBSESSED with penises and sex!!!

    Is there a way we can legislate against straight Christians in Oklahoma from getting married? They are obviously too degenerate to take part in sacred traditions.

    Posted by: Strepsi | Apr 15, 2010 2:53:35 PM

  2. LOL!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by: JR | Apr 15, 2010 2:56:45 PM

  3. one big gaffaw, lol, rofl.

    Posted by: casey | Apr 15, 2010 3:02:56 PM

  4. Come all ye faithful?

    Posted by: Feral | Apr 15, 2010 3:05:22 PM

  5. I've seen my share of penises...that's a penis.

    Posted by: Rin | Apr 15, 2010 3:10:54 PM

  6. Choke on that, The Situation!

    Posted by: widestanceromance | Apr 15, 2010 3:17:37 PM

  7. That is definitely a PEEN!

    Posted by: RONTEX | Apr 15, 2010 3:17:53 PM

  8. Those crazy Catholics see dick wherever hey go. hmmm...

    Posted by: Sean | Apr 15, 2010 3:18:36 PM

  9. Well, judging by that photo, he definitely wasn't a practicing Jew.

    Posted by: niles | Apr 15, 2010 3:33:41 PM

  10. Better the priest suck off a crucifix than suck off an altar boy.

    Posted by: David Ehrenstein | Apr 15, 2010 3:33:42 PM

  11. Ok, the tower on The Little Mermaid video cover art? Questionable. That Jesus's abs? Um, certainly phallic.

    Posted by: Zlick | Apr 15, 2010 3:38:27 PM

  12. Most Jesuses I've met have nice fat ones as well

    Posted by: ER | Apr 15, 2010 3:49:57 PM

  13. So that's what they mean when they talk about Jesus' res-erection being supernatural!

    I have to admit, after seeing it for myself, I'm a believer.

    Does that make me a Christian? Do I have to get baptized? Maybe a light sprinkling with Perrier; dunking is definitely out!

    Posted by: HolyPeckerBatman | Apr 15, 2010 4:06:27 PM

  14. Hey, that doesn't have to be a penis. It could be a butternut squash. HA ha, butternut...cock.

    Posted by: TANK | Apr 15, 2010 4:06:48 PM

  15. you all sicken me, what Godless moral dead souls you carry. You must understand his love for you... his eternal love for you!

    He died for the wicked, he died for you.
    In the end, our Lord said the masses will lose faith, and this is happening now! WAKE UP! Research the new world order, the end is coming, gain maturity and follow the King of truth.
    Jesus Christ, who rose again after being dead 3 days, to prove he is God.

    You most likely will ignore everything I've said and go about loving your sin and hating the one who wishes your dead soul to be given eternal life.

    You are programed by the moral broken media to think the way you do. Enjoy your rotting soul.

    Sincerely a once Atheist,
    Supernatrually saved by the King of Kings.

    Peace love and understand.

    Posted by: Sunny | Apr 15, 2010 4:30:38 PM

  16. Jesus has a massive tool.

    Posted by: Rodney | Apr 15, 2010 4:30:50 PM

  17. Well, prove for me, that there are stupid atheists just like there are stupid christians/believers/supernaturalists/miracists. No one asked him to die for our sins...and if he'd asked me, I would told him no; he doesn't have that right. The punishment of one doesn't account for the deeds of another. That fairytale doesn't speak for me, and divine command theory is not a mature metaethic for thinking adults.

    Posted by: TANK | Apr 15, 2010 4:37:00 PM

  18. Hey SUNNY, ever read the quote 'Judge not, and ye shall not be judged'? You'll find it in that book you have shoved up your ass.

    Posted by: patrick nyc | Apr 15, 2010 4:47:23 PM

  19. San Damiano, patron saint of Gerald Damiano, director of "Deep Throat," and smokers of the aphrodisiac herb damiana. Aw fuck, tax time.

    Posted by: P. Ness | Apr 15, 2010 4:50:59 PM

  20. Oh puhleeze. If Jesus was packin' heat like that, Christianity would have spread through the Roman empire in seconds!

    Posted by: Dickster | Apr 15, 2010 4:52:49 PM

  21. Jesus that's one big cock!

    Posted by: reynoldo | Apr 15, 2010 4:58:10 PM

  22. Obviously, Xianists are happier if they can see Jesus in a piece of toast or a pizza pan, but you see what you want to see.

    Posted by: Latebrosus | Apr 15, 2010 5:01:14 PM

  23. I can understand how some could see the shape of genitals in this particular crucifix. But do some research on the San Damiano cross (and derivative examples) and you will see that this general shape is common to all of them.

    Posted by: deg (AKA CigrrrMan) | Apr 15, 2010 5:13:23 PM

  24. That is not a cock. And the chin of Family Guy's chin is not a nut sack. You all have dirty minds.

    Posted by: Wayne | Apr 15, 2010 5:27:11 PM

  25. Mine eyes have seen the glory...

    Posted by: Thy Rod and thy Staff | Apr 15, 2010 5:29:01 PM

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