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CNN's Dr. Jeff Gardere Apologizes for Remarks on Cross-Dressing Kid

Gardere

Dr. Jeff Gardere, the psychologist who scolded a mother last week for "outing" her son on a blog, has apologized after his remarks, that it's the "worst nightmare" of both heterosexual and gay couples "to have to fathom that their child might be gay," sparked outrage among many viewers.

Daphne2 In a statement to AfterElton, Gardere says he accepts full responsibility and offers a full apology, and this explanation:

"What the full statement should have been and what I always say because I do work with straight and gay parents, it is a real issue for them because they are afraid, and this is the part I didn't say and what I should have said, and you can go back and research it and you'll see that I've said it in every other place. And that is my fault and I accept complete responsibility for not saying that. Those parents, even gay parents say it, as controversial as that will sound, do not want their children to have to deal with the pain and the isolation and a lot of the emotional trauma that they have to go through as far as coming to terms with their sexuality. They know that they went through it and they prefer that their kids not go through it. And that's what the full statement should have been...It was never my intention to criticize this mother. I think what she did as far as supporting her child and allowing him to express himself in anyway possible is 100% admirable. I think at this point in our history this is what more people need to be able to do, to step up in that way." 

Gardere adds: " I was absolutely wrong and I understand why people are upset about it and I need to learn from that situation. Again, I accept full responsibility and offer a full apology."

Previously...
Watch: CNN Psychologist Scolds Mom for 'Outing' Son Who Wanted to Dress as Daphne on Halloween [tr]

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Comments

  1. I actually emailed Dr. Gardere after watching the clip to express my disappointment, and he responded with a very conciliatory email. He seems like okay people.

    Posted by: Zack | Nov 8, 2010 9:31:51 AM


  2. When is CNN going to apologize for having this Maury Show clown on in the first place?

    Oh, I just remembered. CNN is as moronic as the Maury Show.

    Never mind.

    Posted by: justiceontherocks | Nov 8, 2010 9:40:54 AM


  3. This looks like an example where a sincere apology and explanation worked, at least for me.

    Posted by: Matthew Rettenmund | Nov 8, 2010 9:42:13 AM


  4. It's too bad CNN won't report on this apology.

    Posted by: Kuhnsy | Nov 8, 2010 9:43:42 AM


  5. Sorry, he blew it. This wasn't mis-speaking. He didn't goof it up, he was very clear that he and the mother disagreed, and he said she shouldn't have outed the kid. Really? Now I'm supposed to believe an entirely different message? Black guy that has an issue with gay people. Am I supposed to be shocked?

    Posted by: Alpha | Nov 8, 2010 9:45:42 AM


  6. .....He's an Idiot....I heard what he said....too late to back-track. CNN should be ashamed they even had this quack on. Apology NOT ACCEPTED!!!!.....

    Posted by: Casper | Nov 8, 2010 9:51:41 AM


  7. I do agree with him however that there is NO WAY to identify the adult sexuality of a 5 year old child.

    The spectrum is too beautiful and diverse.
    We do not know if this young male child enjoying dressing as a female character will be straight, bi or gay.

    None of us know.

    Posted by: rjp3 | Nov 8, 2010 10:01:13 AM


  8. The apology still insists on the inane statement that gay parents want to spare their children the terrible pain of being gay. It's still kind of horrifying that a contemporary psychologist would put that in his clarification. If he is actually seeing gay parents that would prefer that their children not be gay, maybe he should straightforwardly address the fact that people go to see psychotherapists because they're screwed up.

    Posted by: coolbearinmd | Nov 8, 2010 10:05:03 AM


  9. I would be bitterly disappointed if the fruit of my loins turned out wanting to fuck pussy---unless it was a girl.

    Posted by: Christopher | Nov 8, 2010 10:05:20 AM


  10. His apology is the same copied & pasted apology he sent people last week. The original thread on this guy had several people posting his apology to them and it was word-for-word the same.

    Posted by: DN | Nov 8, 2010 10:10:28 AM


  11. I appreciate the apology. The doctor is entitled to his opinion, and he may have had some experience with stressed out parents of gay children. However, I doubt that he sees many of the people who are NOT stressed out, and who have fully accepted their children's sexual orientation. My kids were straight, but I would not have had ANY qualms about their being gay, because I can see that it can be a happy and fulfilling life as a gay person. The thing is, he deals with the pathologic situations rather than the unproblematic, so his point of view, to me, seems very suspect.

    Posted by: candideinnc | Nov 8, 2010 10:14:09 AM


  12. I find this to be a sincere apology based on this guy's experience in his practice. He was also very clear in his original comments that he 100% supported the mom letting her son dress as Daphne for Halloween.

    For those of you still criticizing him, I really hope you're more forgiving of the people in your real lives than you are in these anonymous postings. The unforgiving, vengeful mood that some folks in the community gotten themselves into over the past two years is really discouraging and I hope it passes sooner rather than later.

    Posted by: Chris Daley | Nov 8, 2010 10:31:58 AM


  13. First rule of fight club - never talk about fight club. I applaud the mother of the child - and watched the CNN report where the comment was made. It came across as "scolding" - but as an uncle - I felt it was CREEPY to post your childs photo with the article. Yes - she is great to be an accepting mother - but did she really need to post the photo? In general I disagree vehemently with using children for or against any issue - and posting the pic will be remembered forever. He'll be 30 and remember (as I do) the first time he was all over the news. (In my case - being lost on fourth of July) - but in his case - as a touchpoint on a hot button issue.

    Posted by: Talldoggy | Nov 8, 2010 11:23:35 AM


  14. Ah, Alpha, a little racism to accompany your charge of homophobia. Do you identify Carl Paladino or Jim Demint as "white guys that have an issue with gay people." (And those white guys said far worse things.) Sometimes it really isn't about race.

    His apology is an apology, so I respect him for that (even if he is a media whore). But we need to question this notion that parents don't want their children to be gay because of all the societal trauma and isolation they may face in the future. First off, that's rooted in 20th century mentality, and secondly, if society causes the problem, attack society, insist it must be changed. If we--and psychologists--simply accept society as a bad place for gay kids (or kids who may turn out to be gay), then that's part of the problem.

    Posted by: Ernie | Nov 8, 2010 11:28:00 AM


  15. This guy is a two-bit psychologist. Whenever I see him on a talk show I cringe. I wonder how he ever got on TV in the first place. Guess because all the real psychologists have real jobs.

    Posted by: Jack M | Nov 8, 2010 11:39:31 AM


  16. Honestly, this apology sounds sincere. And this topic has come up before (the robbie williams post). While I think it would be awesome if my child were gay, it is something that makes me nervous, because as a parent I wouldn't want my child to struggle or face the adversity that I've faced. While it's not a worse nightmare, it is something that crosses most people's mind as something they may not want to happen.

    Posted by: Joe | Nov 8, 2010 11:59:42 AM


  17. ERNIE I agree 100%, his skin color has nothing to do with him being an ill-informed asshole. ALPHA's comment really is no different than Gerdere's. I also have to agree with DN that all he is doing is repeating his copy and paste reply to me and all others that contacted him, like a form letter suggesting he does this often.

    I have to disagree with you TALLDOGGY though. I too am an Uncle, 23 of them, and I see nothing wrong with the photo, it is very cute, the homophobic comments from adults were what was wrong.

    When I was around one, my Mother took a photo of me in the bathroom sink, with an undershirt and diaper on and a toothbrush in my hand laughing it up. She often put me there, while she changed my sister who was ten months younger than me. While the photo would make me blush when I was young, mostly because my older brother teased me, it now hangs proudly in my bathroom.

    The little boy may or may not feel the same later on, one thing is for sure, he will know he had both a loving Mom and Dad and a safe place to grow up, in a world where another taunted gay kid threw himself in front of a truck on Friday night, see ANDY's post above.

    Posted by: patrick nyc | Nov 8, 2010 12:00:31 PM


  18. I think we lose sight of the fact that this kid may not even be gay and why the hell should he have to look back on all of this media about something that can only be speculation at this point. What a nightmare for any kid, straight or gay, when all you want to do is "fit in" to find we have all been talking about him.

    Coming out, AS WE ALL KNOW, is a personal choice, done after a great deal of introspection. Regardless, this kid is going to have some problems when he realizes what a this media means.

    Posted by: Mike | Nov 8, 2010 12:15:00 PM


  19. BS, he got called on it, then back-pedalled. If no one said anything, he would not have sent out a retraction.

    Posted by: CB | Nov 8, 2010 12:24:09 PM


  20. Zack, I thought the same thing, and I in fact also sent him an email as did several other people I know, I even wrote an email back to him after receiving his response. Then I found out that he spammed out the same response to everyone who messaged him and my view of him dropped considerably.

    Posted by: Ryan | Nov 8, 2010 12:25:51 PM


  21. I have to admire him for offering a full apology, not "i'm sorry if I offended" apology. He said he was wrong and was fully apologetic for his statement.

    Posted by: Andy Perry | Nov 8, 2010 12:27:15 PM


  22. I would have tagged on, "Considering how I utterly blew that segment and said such a hateful thing, it's clear I'm not ready for prime-time".

    Posted by: BobN | Nov 8, 2010 1:00:41 PM


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