News | Peter LaBarbera

'Porno Pete' LaBarbera Does Not Want Barney Frank Giving Him a Pat-Down at the Airport

Wingnut Peter LaBarbera (aka 'Porno' Pete) of the Americans for Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH), is concerned about same-sex TSA patdowns:

Labarbera Homeland Security Sec. Janet Napolitano went out of her way yesterday to stress that the TSA pat-downs are "same-gender" -- mostly to reassure women that men will not be groping them at airports in the name of safety.

"But what about homosexual TSA agents?" AFTAH President Peter LaBarbera responded. "Isn't it just as inappropriate for a 'gay' male TSA agent to pat down male travelers as it is for a normal, heterosexual male TSA agent to pat down female travelers?

"The reality is, most traveling men would not want Barney Frank to pat them down at the airport security checkpoint," LaBarbera said. "Neither would it be fair to assign Ellen DeGeneres to pat down female travelers. (In the same vein, the Army should no more force normal male soldiers to shower and bunk with homosexual male soldiers than it would force females soldiers to bunk and shower with their male counterparts.)"

Read through for the LOLs.

No doubt Porno Pete has fantasized long and hard about getting an intense wanding at airport security.

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Comments

  1. Emphasis on "hard."

    Posted by: Mana | Nov 16, 2010 12:48:38 PM


  2. I bet he would let McCain give him a pat down.

    Posted by: Trippsyc | Nov 16, 2010 12:49:05 PM


  3. I think I speak for gay men everywhere when I suggest that an enhanced pat-down of this vomitous mass of a human being would be much more traumatic for the gay dude.

    Why "straight" men who are appallingly ugly continue to fear being accosted by gay men for sexual favors is beyond me.

    Posted by: The Milkman | Nov 16, 2010 12:50:46 PM


  4. He has a point. If given the choice, I would prefer to be frisked by a lesbian TSA agent.

    However, we're talking about ~800,000,000 passengers a year submitting themselves to time consuming, invasive procedures on top of already increased security precautions that have yet to yield significant safety improvements in almost a decade of implementation.

    Posted by: Jonathan | Nov 16, 2010 12:55:45 PM


  5. I'm going to demand the pat down, and from the cutest, humpiest agent I can find.

    Posted by: Raul | Nov 16, 2010 1:07:30 PM


  6. well i have to agree with him, i wouldn't want barney frank or ellen degeneres touching my jewels either. maybe some hot big butch stud built like a linebacker... sigh!

    Posted by: cupcakes | Nov 16, 2010 1:07:57 PM


  7. Why should anyone care about the sex, gender, or sexuality of a TSA official? The TSA employees should be operating in a professional capacity, not a sexual one, so there's no reason to start dividing things in the first place. Out of courtesy the TSA could offer a choice to change who is giving you a pat-down, but enforcing same-sex pat-downs is just another instance of systemic binaries.

    Of course, from a numbers standpoint, there are more straight predatory people than queer ones (b/c straights are more numerous than queers), so it makes sense as a minimization technique. As long as no one is saying it's a perfect solution, it seems like a reasonable policy.

    And LaBarbera is clearly not trying to solve anything, just cause more problems.

    Posted by: Kuhnsy | Nov 16, 2010 1:08:19 PM


  8. If this helps to end the stupid prison-like environment of airports then great.

    Posted by: anon | Nov 16, 2010 1:14:36 PM


  9. "mostly to reassure women that men will not be groping them at airports in the name of safety."

    Entirely to reassure women that men won't grope them. Personally, I think if a woman has a particular concern, then she may opt for another woman to do the pat-down. I don't think an actual policy measure is necessary or even advisable.

    And where would Porno Pete's suggestion leave bisexuals? Would one homosexual encounter be sufficient to disqualify a man from patting down another man? Would that become part of the hiring process?

    Posted by: Zach | Nov 16, 2010 1:20:00 PM


  10. Porno Pete HOPES he gets patted down by some big hunky homo. Don't let his whining fool you.

    Posted by: Alexander | Nov 16, 2010 1:32:40 PM


  11. What about the crafty nefarious gay traveler who manipulates the poor straight hunky TSA worker man into fondling his homosexual junk? Porno Pete should spend some time thinking about THAT threat to national security...

    Posted by: Adam | Nov 16, 2010 1:41:32 PM


  12. God knows I wouldn't want Porno Pete anywhere NEAR my junk.

    Posted by: Rom | Nov 16, 2010 1:43:42 PM


  13. Get a life you idiot !

    Posted by: JackFknTwist | Nov 16, 2010 1:56:39 PM


  14. Is Peter LaBarbera mentally ill?

    Posted by: Terry | Nov 16, 2010 2:01:30 PM


  15. The strange thing is when you look though the Christian news service website they have all the far right usual suspects getting there news feed everyday. But there are a few odd ball mainstream places like ESPN, Fox Home Entertainment, Discovery Channel, and TLC getting this far right wacko crap everyday.

    Posted by: Timtohyjames24 | Nov 16, 2010 2:21:26 PM


  16. If we extend Porno Pete's logic to its "logical" conclusion, LGBT people should be banned from all public transportation and from working in any security/medical/sports/apparel related fields because 1). some security officer might have to pat down someone of the same sex who might be homosexual and 2). homosexuals should never-ever be allowed to see or touch the sexual organs of another person for any reason whatsoever.

    Posted by: homer | Nov 16, 2010 2:31:06 PM


  17. Why would anyone other than a sad, deeply, deeply closeted gay man say those things?

    Posted by: Steverino | Nov 16, 2010 2:43:20 PM


  18. drip drip drip, the thoughts of fundie christotards homophobes never wander above the genital region. Peeeepeeeeeee vagina! Though, clearly thoughts are less about vagina in stinky pete's case....he's far less consumed by female sexuality. Disgusting people.

    Posted by: TANK | Nov 16, 2010 2:51:12 PM


  19. with a mug like that he should be happy Someone wants to touch his junk

    Posted by: joe | Nov 16, 2010 3:04:54 PM


  20. I've tried but I just don't get Porno Pete's, um, "logic".

    Hey, Petey! There already are gay or lesbian TSA screeners who are also consummate professionals and take their jobs seriously.

    I can assure you, Petey, that they are more interested in protecting passengers than they are trying to sneak a quick dick-pat off you.

    But, Petey, considering that you are a homophobe douchebag, I can tell you that it is ridiculous to assume that any gay man in his right mind would want to "cop a feel" from your ugly dweeb ass. You delude yourself, Petey-Tweety.

    Petey, you're ugly. Not just ugly. BUTT UGLY. You are so ugly that if I look up the word "ugly" in the dictionary, I see your picture.

    And, don't worry, Petey. I'm sure Barney Frank would NOT want to put his hands on your skanky, sleazy, Pillsbury dough-boy body.

    Besides, Petey, I would imagine your dick is even smaller than your brain and not worth the bother.

    Posted by: mike | Nov 16, 2010 3:12:07 PM


  21. Speaking as a gay man I wouldn't want Barney Frank patting me down either. I wouldn't mind Anthony Weiner though.

    Posted by: Manhattanvince | Nov 16, 2010 4:36:56 PM


  22. I swear to God, I've sat here for the last ten minutes laughing like a crazy person over the majority of these responses. You guys are too too funny. Especially this one: "Besides, Petey, I would imagine your dick is even smaller than your brain and not worth the bother."

    You think? LOL!

    Posted by: OS2Guy | Nov 16, 2010 5:45:23 PM


  23. He flatters himself when he thinks anyone would get any pleasure in patting him down.

    Posted by: lk | Nov 16, 2010 7:02:56 PM


  24. Somebody's afraid of popping a woodie in the airport line.

    And I'm guessing Barney and Ellen have better things to do.

    Posted by: Ernie | Nov 16, 2010 7:13:49 PM


  25. He is so afraid that he is going to pop a boner!

    Poor Bitch.

    Posted by: Derek Washington | Nov 16, 2010 10:03:23 PM


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