Comments

  1. breckroy says

    Love the concept and the execution. How wonderful to focus on love and relationships. Not sure why it had to be an either/or proposition with the swimsuit issue, though. Seems like there is room for both on a year’s editorial schedule, just as there is room for both in life. :-)

  2. yonkersconquers says

    Ford’s completely right. I’ve been with my partner for 13 years (thats longer than my heterosexual friend’s three marriages) and we still get amazed reactions from even the most liberal people we meet.

    I’m kind of sick of it, actually. Kudos to Ford and Buckley. Not everyone is fortunate to find a love that endures but I admire couples who stick with it and thrive together.

  3. says

    Tom is indeed correct. My boyfriend Bill and I ahve been together for 38 years. We’re scarcely alone in this.

    I suspect a lot of the opposition to gay marriage comes from the fact that THEY KNOW WE DO IT BETTER THAN THEY DO!

  4. Steve says

    My partner and I just went to our 4th (straight) wedding last month – and he remarked that out of all the straight weddings we’ve been to, our relationship has outlived all of them. And we’ve only been together 10 years!

    The longest relationships I knows, aside from my parents who have been together 60 years, are two same-sex couples, each together 40 years.

    Great idea for a cover – I’m glad it’s dispelling the myth that all GLBT relationships are primarily sex-based.

  5. MT says

    I never would have guessed Ford has a long term partner the way he groped my husband at a fitting at his atelier a few years ago – right in front of me no less. That ball grab would have put a TSA to shame. Needless to say we didn’t buy anything that day and have never been back.

  6. Jerry says

    Its about time that we start focusing on what we want, if marriage equality is what we want. I dont know a single gay man who has trouble finding pics of hot gay guys in swimsuits if he wants to, so kudos for putting love in the forefront. @MT keep dreaming about having your man fondled by Tom Ford, dear.

  7. BobN says

    I think most people who express “surprise” and comment on the length of our relationships (31 years and counting) are trying to be supportive and congratulatory. They don’t mean to be rude. Of course, if they expressed the same degree of wonder at a straight couple who mentioned they were married 30 years, the straight couple would be perplexed and probably insulted, without being able to pinpoint exactly why.

  8. Buster says

    I am SO tired of Tom Ford and his endless self-promotion. Why is HE on the cover?

    Preaching to the choir is what the gay press does best. I’m a gay man — I know that relationships are more than sex. Don’t really need a gay magazine to tell me that.

    Certainly not at the expense of a hot swimsuit edition!!! :-)

  9. says

    Gee, what an incredibly handsome couple Tom and Rich make and I couldn’t be prouder to see them on the cover of OUT magazine. And Tom took that picture himself! Do you see the camera clicker in his right hand there? The Gay (male) Community couldn’t have a better couple to represent us then Tom Ford and Richard Buckley.

  10. Paul R says

    It would have been a little cooler if you couldn’t see the “camera clicker”—and he easily could have put it in his left hand. (It’s a remote device.) Now I find it distracting. But I applaud Out’s judgment. There are enough swimsuit-wearing men all over.

    Anyway, my ex and I were together 17 years, and after the 7- or 10-year point we’d be on some sort-of gay vacation and other gays would have the exact same reaction as straight liberals. Posters here know a lot of long-term gay couples, but we really got tired of hearing, “Really, more than 10 years?” (Along with, “When did you start dating, at age 10?” No, 19.) We too outlasted many of our straight married friends, but honestly I’m glad not to have ever gotten married, and we could have.

  11. sarah says

    The gay relationship stereotype is not completely unfounded, but it really doesn’t have to do with our relationships being ‘all about sex.’

    It mainly has to do with the fact that a gay marriage is so difficult to obtain, family support is not always a given, and the ‘staying together for the kids’ idea doesn’t quite work when kids don’t pop out by accident.

    Practical reasons, sure, but just a reminder that the right wants to perpetuate the above stereotype by enforcing those very customs and laws.

  12. Frozen North says

    Seriously guys?

    A couple of examples does not the standard make. Frankly, for every one gay couple that lasts 40 years, there’s forty that fell appart in a the first couple of years. The gasps come from people who know and have met the other 40 breakups.

    Also, are all you long-lived couples monogamous? ’cause if you aren’t, then I don’t think most people consider you “married.” (And sorry but playing together doesn’t count as monogamous.)

    For the rest of the couples that really do last and keep it strictly a pair, then many kudos and congratulations!! It’s still amazing to carry on that long, straight or gay.

  13. Joe says

    @Jerry, I agree. Pictures of hot guys in swimsuits is easy to find – this is much better and the type of advocacy a gay magazine should be doing.

  14. mark says

    If this were to be a revolutionary thing, it would be on a mainstream magazine cover, not one that is marketed to the gay ghetto.

    As for Tom Ford, I find him nauseating.

  15. Alex says

    I tend to agree with most opinions here, but Frozen North are you right!

    For those who missed the trick, the camera clicker is visible on purpose.

    It does feel fresh not having the mandatory t*rt in a swimsuit showing his pecs.

  16. twocents says

    Plenty of hetero marriages have not been & are not monogamous, by mutual choice or otherwise. And that is no one’s business but the two (just two?) people involved. Relationships evolve, change, change back, possibly dissolve, reunite, re-ignite, etc., just like individuals. If you’ve been with someone 15, 25, 35+ years & can’t distinguish the difference between loyalty, love, respect, & just plain sex– you’re delusional or plain lying.

  17. Rowan says

    The hounds are back!

    Anyway Paul R, the point is to show this IS a self portrait not pretend by some photos done. Admittedly,I studied art and there was a big thing about showing that you are clicking the camera instead of pretending the picture…just happened.

    Gabe, everyone has different values of what make THEIR relationship work. Who knows if his partner is still in working order? I don’t know nor do you know because cancer is different for everyone.

    Even if it wasn’t because his partner had cancer, who cares?

    I can so see their love for eac other and especially from Richards comments.

    The realist in me says that Tom realised that this could be his way into the fashion world and took it when he met Richard-I dont believe his ‘oh I fell in love with the eyes’, that guy is pro from the START.

    But, I do believe that he really loves Richard. And I think Richards undying love and respect for Tom has made him who he is.

    Just my two cents.

  18. Lexxvs says

    Show a little of gay happiness –even if it is a pose for a photo shoot- and some people get nuts, literally. From the disbeliever to the scorners. And everything in between.
    I really don’t care if the one and only sex they had was just once 24 years ago. Or if they are planning to adopt children or cat and dogs. Or if they never knew any other penises than theirs. Being in love with someone, standing by someone is something many people don’t get to know. I’ve known so many cheating heterosexuals who only became “faithful” when their gears didn’t work anymore than I can not but laugh at the comparisons. And if the only valid commitment two persons can have to each other so they can be considered partners is updated sex, now I understand why there are so many splits, so many loneliness and bitterness. All of them in pursue of a Saint Grail that fails to appear. And those who get vitriolic are showing exactly why they are that way.

  19. Genghis Khan says

    “If you’ve been with someone 15, 25, 35+ years & can’t distinguish the difference between loyalty, love, respect, & just plain sex– you’re delusional or plain lying.”

    This is sort of odd to say. Just because they’re not the same doesn’t mean that some people won’t react unhappily if someone has an affair. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t like the angry reactions some have when two partners say their relationship is open. But it’s also problematic to imply that monogamy is silly, or wouldn’t work for certain people, because it actually does.

  20. says

    “Seriously guys?

    A couple of examples does not the standard make. Frankly, for every one gay couple that lasts 40 years, there’s forty that fell appart in a the first couple of years.”

    Seriously @Frozen North, where are you getting your statistics and presumptions. I’m in a 20 year relationship, one that’s outlasted many straight couples I know, and we have plenty of gay friends who’ve been in long-term relationships. (And plenty of other commentators here are in it for the long haul.) It’s not a rarity, despite all the societal pressures against us. As for the sex lives of those couples, it’s none of anyone’s business but theirs. What works for one couple may not work for another, but if there is commitment and honesty beneath the longevity, who is anyone to judge that couple (whether they’re gay or straight)? Kudos to any couple who’s figured out how to make it work cause it’s not always easy.

  21. huh? says

    Congrats to Tom Ford and Richard Buckley.

    Re. concerns that Tom might grab balls that are not his partners. I think it is important to recognize that being a couple does not equal monogamy, in the straight world or in the gay world.

    Re. the Grizzly Bears – neither looks like a bear to me.

  22. just a guy says

    y’know, i feel blessed to have gotten to know a number of gay couples who have been together for a long time. but i’ve only met them in the past couple of years, now also happily married – but not legally yet. anyway, i spent the first half a decade of my openly gay life not knowing a single couple who had been together longer than 2 or 3 years. and even that length of time was uncommon.

    sorry if i’m a grump to y’all who can’t find enuf swimsuited guys, but i really think the young guys in our “gay ghetto” NEED issues like this one. it sounds silly, but it wasn’t all that long ago that I remember reading about the D&G boys’ relationship. silly, vain, promotional. sure, but what’s the harm. it was still inspiring. and was even tho i never really wanted anything but a monog relationship and they didn’t have exactly that. i used to dream about finding luv like they did, and ~sillily imagine how my future bf and i would work things out, build a life. of course, then it took forever to be ready for that, find just the right guy, etc. but i liked then to be able to envision it all, and those celebrity and other romance stories helped.

    now among certain friendgroups, i’m the one some friends point to as “wow” married so long and still happy, “why do we know no one else in a real relationship,” etc. guys like that (and i was like that a few years back) NEED issues like this, not just another swimsuit edition.

    good one, out.

  23. Gus says

    @ just a guy : you didn’t see couples like us, 25 years, because we found it better for us in the long term to stay away from strictly gay events, bars or functions. There were those whose goal in life seemed to be testing our relationship in one way or another. Amazingly, str8 women often did the same thing, only those actions did not produce jealousy, it did produce some laughs. When asked by friends how we did it, we always say we stopped going to the bars. Think about it, how many successful long-term str8 couples hang out at the latest hot spot for singles?

  24. johnny says

    @Gus: You put it correctly. The gays that are bar-hopping are the ones which are in quickie relationships that don’t last longer than 2 years.

    Why? They’re children. When they grow up, (and this is not age-related but more psychological) they become monogamous, exactly the same as straight people.

    My partner and I stopped going to singles-oriented locales decades ago. We’ve lasted for 16 years and don’t miss bars/events one bit. I’d much rather go to situations where BOTH sexualities are represented in a couples-oriented atmosphere because you don’t get the gay drama that occurs otherwise. Parties at someone’s home, picnics and family events are a much more sane (and far cheaper) way to spend our time.

    I’d wager committed gay couples are the same percent for their group as hetero, but one is simply quieter about it for a number of factors; location, family, business, society.

  25. Toto says

    It’s always been so moving and inspiring to me to meet a gay couple whose been together for 10 or 20+ years. A little warm and fuzzy feeling will go through my body and it makes smile…

    Then I wipe them off of me and leave.

  26. Joseph Frazier says

    To be proudly mated to my partner for over 20 years, I have to agree with “Frozen North.” We have never been an open couple. That is not what being a couple is about. If you do screw around on your partner, then you are not a couple, but roommates. To be a couple, you MUST have respect, love, and MONOGOMY. If you say otherwise, you are either lying to the public or yourself.

  27. Gabe R L says

    I agree with Joseph. Tom Ford has always fooled around. It makes gay relationships seem so shallow.

  28. Hass says

    It’s up to every couple to decide how they will conduct their relationship. Monogamy works for some people – that’s great! Others are able to stay together precisely because they allow an open relationship. I don’t think it’s shallow to put jealously aside and feel happy that the man you love is having fun with someone else occasionally. That can take an awful lot of love and commitment.

    There is no stencil which dictates how to run a relationship. Each couple must do things their own way, because after all, they are the two people who matter.

  29. Buster says

    MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

    I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked at the narrow-minded “American-ness” that comes through in so many of these posts. I always like to think that most gay men have seen through silly middle-class Christian morality when they get as part of the coming out process. But, as usual, I am diappointed and wrong.

    Monogamy is fine if you want that. It is also fine if both members of a couple decide that don’t want monogamy. Let’s face it, what most of us want is EMOTIONAL monogamy; I could care less if my partner occasionally wants to suck another cock, as long as he comes home to me.

    I would agree that entering into some kind of open relationship has its risks, but so does requiring that your partner agree NEVER to have sex with anyone else. Many relationships only survive because they are monogamous. Many relationships only survive because they are open. It is extraordinarily presumptious to criticize the rules of a relationship other than your own. Not least because that is what heterosexuals have been doing with gay relationships for centuries.

  30. Gabe R L says

    Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Saying that you are in a committed relationship but want to have a lot of fun with others is still wrong. It makes the relationship shallow. It is immature. If you are not ready to make that kind of commitment you shouldn’t be in such a relationship or married.

  31. TANK says

    Yup, gabe. I agree. but then again, all relationships are shallow with or without fidelity…it’s all bullshit, and it’s all bad for ya ;).

    Anyway, who’s this guy kissing the crypt keeper? Somewhere inside of that reanimated corpse, a maggot is gagging.