Comments

  1. Mike says

    I like how the interviewer is just sitting there all wide-eyed like, “Where is this going?”

    “Do you guys wanna go on a date tonight?”

    I hope the guy that got dumped isn’t wondering where the relationship went wrong.

  2. Josh says

    I so wanted to like this story, because the guy is charming. But a love narrative about destroying somebody else’s relationship isn’t something I can relate to.

  3. chad says

    I guess you have to take the good with the wretched, but do you have to broadcast them all? This is gross. The place where you should be your most authentic self is here and now, and if you have to go to a party to find that self, you have work to do. That is all.

  4. Ben says

    This “love” is tainted with the bad karma of breaking up a relationship. Drugged up and high, you found the confidence to ask out a couple on their anniversary….geez…another example of delusional rationalization from a femalina with no moral code or respect for other people. This sort of story makes me ashamed of gay men who just do what they want without regard for the consequences of their drug induced spur of the moment actions.
    I hope you both get what bad karma is coming your way.
    I’d never be able to be on “your team”…what a loser.

  5. Rowan says

    Oh dear! I was wondering why all of a sudden you guys were commenting on this when you NEVER! Even the deaf story got like ONE comment, the lesbian mayor-did she even get any? The kid who fought out of home through HELL….maybe 2 or 3…

    Bur THIS!

    LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Dont ever change!

    It’s like gays are like blacks. Liberal because they have to be but actually quite socially conservative.

    Man, did none of you go to cool festivals, smoke weed or read Neitzche while at school? I guess not. Move along.

  6. Rowan says

    You guys make me laugh!!!

    Okay, I watched it and yeah, it really sucks for the ex and you can tell that he feels guilty but when you meet your soul mate……come on…?

    There is this musician I think you commenters should all listen to, he’s American but is big now in the UK. His name is John Grant, does beautiful indie music and talks a lot beautiful about being gay, love, romance etc. He’s super smart but he’s done drugs so you may want to kill him.

    Anyway, he said the best quote that helped him deal with loss love, which is that he stopped being angry when he realised that you have to let people go, you can’t force someone to stay with you or not cheat on you. It happens.

    I’ve been in similar situations, not as deep but months later I thought, woooah, what was I thinking and hate the fact that I wasted all this hate on this dude.

    The bad guy is the one who left the boyfriend if you NEED a bad guy, not this guy who just fell in love. You can’t force anyone to LEAVE.

    Sorry. True.

  7. says

    While I can see where are all of the other comments, deriding the interviewee, could stem from, it seems pretty condescending and rude to pass judgement over him for finding love. I personally wouldn’t put myself in that situation but I’m not going to deny this guy his feelings or how he came to them. Just because you personally don’t approve of drug use shouldn’t negate how he feels for his husband. The fact that this clip is five minutes of what I’m assuming is a much longer interview also should give people pause when passing judgement. We don’t know the other side of the story, either from the ex-boyfriend OR the husband, and shouldn’t just assume they were in some perfect relationship that was cruelly broken up. There are several more factors that should be taken into account and it bothers me that we, as people, can be so quick to judge something so bitterly.

    Given how often homosexuals are demonized as “not being capable of love,” you’d think a gay blog representative of the community would have readers willing to embrace love, wherever it may come from.

  8. mstrozfckslv@yahoo.com says

    feelings are NOT love

    feelings are a part of love but are not love themselves

    feelings come and go and come again, like a roller coaster ride and can be affected by a simple thing as a daily multi-vitamine per lab tests

    love is not a choice though choices make up part of love…like the choice to love someone despite their pissing you off sometimes

    those who equate love to feelings are little better than “reacting” amoebas

  9. says

    @MSTROZFCKSLV@YAHOO.COM : I’m not going to disagree with you on this one. There is definitely a difference between a feeling and what most people would say is love. It seems like arguing over the usage of “feelings” and “love” as synonyms for one another is more about semiotics and less about intention.

    The inherent problem with this argument is that it’s 100% subjective. I don’t know what it’s like to love the guy in the video but I do know what it’s like to love my boyfriend, in comparison to how I love my best friend or my family. That’s what I personally have to go by and I can’t say one way or another if what the interviewee is experiencing is in fact love or “feelings” or anything else. What I do know is that I’d much rather take this video for what it is- a personal story about one person’s subjective view of their relationship- and walk away from it without thinking or “feeling” or saying something nasty. There’s enough of that in the world without us adding more, and all because we found some personal gripe with a STRANGER’S life decisions.

    I think I’ll go “feel” my way to a shower.

  10. chad says

    Ok, so let’s see the rest of the interview wherein the dude reveals how he uses the beautiful new self he’s discovered now. Oh, and soul-mate my eye (in general, pick and stick. What are we, Disney characters?) and I can’t believe I’ve even spent this much time on this . . . I guess it really depressed me.

  11. Rowan says

    Well said Adric.

    You can tell he really loves this guy BUT this is just MY opinion from a brief, edited, formatted clip about a guy who was brought up in foster care who found love at Burning Man because he didnt have to be HIM and in the long run, fell madly in love.

    I think it’s sweet.

    Like any story, what was the actual relationship like that the boyf said ‘yes’ to going on a date?

    I respect this guy for not talking smack about the previous relationship and just putting his story out there that made him look in an unfavourable light.

  12. peterparker says

    Gross.

    I can’t decide which is more repugnant, the fact that he is a home wrecker, the fact that “Nick” left his boyfriend for this airhead in such an apparently easy fashion, or this guy’s “BurningMan is where I found my authentic self” pretentious pseudo-hippie babble.

    I’ve been to BurningMan. Seven times. I totally understand that it is a special place and time. And I get it that you can make intense connections out there. But really. Stealing someone’s boyfriend? That’s tacky in “the real world”. And it’s tacky on the playa.

    I think I have to go vomit now.

  13. TANK says

    Was this supposed to be deep? How about inspiring, meaningful, slice o’ life thought provoking? Nah…but that’s just my opeeeeeeenion… Two stoner party boys found da romance at burning man. “Stab wound”? Yeah… It’s burning man, chrissakes, and to get up in arms about “homewrecking” or any of that malarky is comedy. Not to say that everyone who goes to burning man enhances their experience with pharmaceuticals and weed…no, never that. But, gay or straight, not a particularly stable crowd (gay hipsters in seattle and burning man)…not a crowd to take too seriously, anyway. It wasn’t, “I met my soulmate at a bdsm party two weeks ago, and we’re like an old married couple!” silliness, but it’s pretty absurd.

    Nice try, though. But as fran lebowitz might say, not everyone has a story worth telling.

    “Senora dances calypso, left to right is the tempo, and when she gets the sensation, she go up in the air come down in slow motion.”

  14. Strepsi says

    Can I just say, though that very nearly EVERY. SINGLE. straight Romantic Comedy the heroine “steals someone’s boyfriend”?

    Most often, Mr. Right is on his way to the altar with Miss Wrong, when the heroine rushes for him. Sometimes he is already in a long term relationship — with the wrong person — and so is she. The message always is
    “You know when it’s true love — GO FOR IT!”

    So I guess if we want true equality, we need to accept our own Burning Man moments, running-through-airports to Natalie Imbruglia climaxes, trying-on-hats montages, and wedding day “I OBJECT!” moments.

  15. says

    I’m the filmographer/editor for the IFD stories and I’m sorry that I must interject here. Kevin’s story is one of him meeting his soulmate. I hoped that would have been the take away as I did my best to capture the spirit of that story.

    It appears that I may have failed in that effort… but please know that this is not Kevin’s full story. None of the IFD stories are “full stories”. Life’s situations don’t occur in 3 minute vacuums and can’t be fully explored in youtube videos… the best we can do is to try and capture the essence of these situations.

  16. Kayla says

    Can we just cut the crap with the whole “soul mate” thing….wait until a couple of decades have passed then start talking about soul mates….Otherwise, in a year or so…when they’ve gone their separate ways, they’ll just look like a couple of douches….

  17. says

    It disheartens me to read so much vile coming from judgmental and anonymous people. It really is hypocritical. How can you call us “trashy” when the venom you are spewing is baseless, ignorant, and downright foolish? How are you to judge one person’s love? How are you to decide how one person can find happiness? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?

    Remember Prop 8? Have you heard of Westboro? People out there are trying to deny our RIGHT TO LOVE WHOMEVER WE CHOOSE. We are fighting for it EVERY SINGLE DAY. And you come on here and make snap judgements on someone else’s love? Shame on you!

    I am engaged to marry this man. This is THE love for me. No one “stole” anyone. I am not an object to possess, but a being with free will. I have choice.

    Yes, feelings were hurt. Yes, I ended the relationship with my previous boyfriend. Yes, it sucked and tears were shed. And yes, shocker, things are much better for everyone now.

    I have never been happier. I have never had such direction, poise and heart-filled joy.

    I have never let what other people think get in the way of my happiness, and I will not start now. You will not judge my love just as I will never judge yours.

    For those of you out there that think you know us, you don’t. For those of you that would like to get to know us, please do. We are online in all of our glory every single day, running one of the fastest growing LGBT websites in the world. We would love to get to know you, and show you for real about how our love informs every single moment of every single day of our life. You can email me directly, tweet me, Facebook me, or call me. I am here, ready to talk beyond all this anonymous crap.

    Love has a circuitous path, but when you find it you will never let go.

    Love for all,

    Nick Vivion
    Unicorn Booty

    —-
    PS – I feel compelled to answer some of you individually:

    @PeterParker: We have been to Burning Man collectively nine times. Thanks for calling us “repugnant.” That’s really amazing that you would anonymously comment on a blog as a Burner, using Spider Man’s alias even, and call strangers’ names. Sadly, it sounds like you didn’t learn much in your 7 times at Burning Man. Who are you to judge me with this “easy fashion” nonsense and then call my fiancee an airhead?

    @Rowan: Thank you for your insightful, intelligent and considered response. It’s impossible to know a whole story in 4 minutes!

    @Chad: Check out http://www.unicornbooty.com. This is what we have built together in less than one year.

    @Adric: Thank you for understanding the subjectivity of anyone’s life experience. Apparently our brethren forget that everyone’s life is unique, with it’s own motivations, decisions and realities. Love is intensely personal, and thus so powerful. It shocks me to see so many reactionaries when it comes to how we fell in love. We found love, and I hope everyone on this planet can too – no matter where it comes from.

    @Rowan: You cannot force anyone to leave, and I left of my own volition. That is something forgotten here: no one “stole” anyone. I am not a piece of property. Thank you for pointing that out. Also, it does seem as if we are surrounded by a bunch of crotchety old farts, doesn’t it?!? : p

    @Trashy: Your chosen trolling moniker is perfectly suited for you.

    @Pinky: The only one being judgmental is you. The fact that you came to that simplistic conclusion after a superficial 4-minute video speaks volumes.

    @Ben: Your comment makes me ashamed of gay men who question the love of other members of the same persecuted minority by being harsh and above reproach in their anonymous web commenting.

    @Chad: Burning Man is way way way more than “just a party.” It has elements for all kinds of different people, and its an incredible experience that changed my life like nothing else I’ve done.

    @W.T. Door: There was no acid involved in the making of this love story. And there is nothing wishy-washy about this relationship. We are engaged to be married and we will do so when we legally are able. The law won’t acknowledge our love, and apparently neither will some in the gay community!

    @EveryoneElse: To quote some of our favorite LGBT supporters: “Judge not lest ye be judged.” There is a lot more to our story, and I don’t care if you care. I do care when strangers try to pass judgement on my relationship. I didn’t like it when the Mormons did it while we were fighting against Prop. 8, and I don’t like it now, when fellow gays take a 4-minute look at my relationship and pretend to know it all.

    @Kevin Farrell: I love you.

  18. says

    Fair enough, Nick; and the picture you paint may well be true… It is, I’m sure, a fair articulation of your experience and pov. The story that video shows is of a vapid young man who had no compunction against aggressively going after a partnered man, even after knowing it was his anniversary. Unwilling to wait, he persevered. Per the video, the object of his affection was so taken by our protagonist that he pushed to accept this “date” on the anniversary he and his current partner were about to recognize.

    So, to boil it down, the video shows a man with perhaps a skewed perception of reality and deep-seated need with no respect for the relationship of another aggressively stepping between another partnered man and his partner. Meanwhile, the target (per the video) reveals little respect for his partner-at-the time, accepts the date and ultimately leaves his partner as a result.

    Neither one of the two men depicted as the resulting couple should be surprised when the same thing happens to either of them.

    This, from the video, is pretty much all we know. You are in a position to know more; and what you see as misconception may be merely the result of editing: we hear of this all the time, with reality shows.

    It is admirable that you step up to defend your actions, those of your partner, and y’all’s relationship. Things may be as you articulate, they may be as the video depicts. I hope for y’all that it is the former.

  19. Toutwest says

    Originally I never went to Burning Man because I hate being dirty. Now I have a multitude of other reasons and this guy is probably 4 of them. How utterly, morally bankrupt his story is. When the current boyfriend told him, twice, they were in a relationship no matter what the other thought Stab Wound should have taken the hint. Let those two break-up, if that was what it was to come to, without the help of the lastest empty headed, vapid prince to come along.

    If there is Karma, this man deserves to waller in the bad kind for years.

  20. Toutwest says

    @Nick Vivion – I was stunned to see how you and your “new” boyfriend came out of that story looking fine. Now let’s get a full tell all from the man you so unceremoniously dumped. Will his side be as rosy.

    I never had much use for my Dad’s little sayings throughout my life but this one seems true. “The guilty will yell and justify their deeds the loudest and longest”

  21. BobN says

    If he’s still telling this story in a decade or two, I’ll give it a great big “awwwwwww”. In the meantime, while I can muster a bit of praise for the forthrightness with which he describes events — it’s preferable to similar stories I’ve heard about poaching in hetero relationships — I’m gonna go with “cute but tawdry”, sort of like a gauze loincloth.

    Oh, and $5 that the interviewer has “Your my captain!!!!” running through his head.

  22. mstrozfckslv@yahoo.com says

    PS on what love IS

    One thing that can help define the indefinable “LOVE” is

    BEING THERE! being there when the chips are down. Sticking it out when your lover has snot running out of their nose from a cold and are not all that sexy at the moment while being gassy and throwing up…….and you make them something to eat and help nurse them back to health.

    Tweeked out of your mind is not love

  23. TANK says

    Lotsa heart broken people here, apparently…projecting hither and thither about nothing…so sad. Le weep. The way these two star crossed party boys met is the least problematic part… And it all could have been avoided if you (the projection)…

    Treat relationships like investments (your money), and if you’re any good at investing, you won’t be so torn up when things go south (you’ll have jumped ship before you feel the bite)…and that’s about knowing yourself and the risk you can handle. The cheater cheats (don’t let emotion interfere with your investment–people that cheat or, separately, that are into open relationships are fairly easy to spot–especially when they negotiate terms of openness!)…these are types of people despite their “specialness”, and those surprised by such behavior later on have let emotion interfere with an objective appraisal of actual value, which changes over time. So if you want a relationship, research that investment…with a fine tooth comb (it’s not stalkerish…this is your investment, and you expect a reasonable rate of return). And whatever you do, don’t listen to your investment, because the investment’s job is to paint as nice a picture as possible about its potential profitability. Unless you lose your shirt due to the inevitability of risk assumption despite your best analysis, and then full panic mode can set in and you can spend a month or two in the bottle, fighting and swearing. Lose your shirt too often, and perhaps relationships aren’t for you, day trader. Does it work? Who cares. It’s fun to inflict unsolicited advice, because it’s a drag for others. And if you don’t like that (too gimicky), how’s the alternative working out for ya…and there are seemingly quite a few unprincipled investors here–no offense.

  24. BobN says

    “Treat relationships like investments (your money), and if you’re any good at investing, you won’t be so torn up when things go south (you’ll have jumped ship before you feel the bite).”

    And there, in a nutshell, is the difference between an investor and a business owner and a small window into why this country is so utterly f*cked.

  25. TANK says

    Right on, bobn. Because we all know that business owners don’t invest in those businesses to make as much money as possible from them…rather, out of business former owners. Complete lack of regulation and competent oversight, criminally greedy moronic speculators and a dead available line of credit have nothing to do with the decline of entrepreneurship in this country.

  26. howard says

    How may light years were you into the ” solar system” before either of you took note of how the soon to be Ex was enjoying your date?

    Imagine not much further than Mercury.

    I am sure you both are not as vapid as this paints you out to be. Perhaps in your pursuit of self promotion for your website you should have thought how this would sound to you potential clients.

    best of luck with unicornbooty.com

  27. Prancer says

    So I think most of the comments here are way overwrought. Kevin and Nick found love one special crazy night at Burning Man. But like a lot of stories, it’s complicated. Particularly so since there was another guy involved here who probably wasn’t on-board with their love connection. But this interview with Kevin is obviously a snippet of information that left me with lots of questions – i.e., I wanted to know more Kevin being a foster kid and how that has impacted his ideas about love and relationships. And i wanted to know more about Nick and the ex-boyfriend. Kevin comes off as young and inexperienced a bit awkward and maybe a bit guilty – but also excited and joyful and sweet and charming and well, delicious. Good for him that he found love and he’s declaring it to all of the world. I wish Kevin and Nick the best of luck in life and love. All you angry queens – go take a hit of X and chill out.

  28. PeteP says

    I found this story disturbing and was saddened that someone at Towleroad thought it was “sweet.” Could you imagine a straight man walking up to your parents on the day of their anniversary, asking them both on a date, breaking up the marriage and then bragging about it? Not sweet.

  29. Shane says

    omg. What a disgusting fag this guy is. Why would they bother to broadcast this human debris like it’s some kind of love story?
    @Marquise Lee – do the gay world a real favor and pass our comments on to this f*ckstain.

  30. w.t. door says

    Nick – thanks for the response. However, I hate when the inequality directed toward the gay community by society becomes a scape goat for immorality and lack of fidelity. Own up to it.

  31. Prancer says

    Over the years I’ve seen lots of couples – gay and straight – have an ah hah moment on meeting someone new – resulting in a previously existing relationship coming to an end and a new relationship forming. Sure, someone is usually hurt on that reconfiguration and that’s too bad for that person – but if everything was perfect in that old relationship – the new one wouldn’t have had a chance no matter the circumstances of its inception. Usually these new relationships form against incredible odds of location and personal life logistics – but they do form and usually stick cause the commitment and love expressed is truly profound and abiding. I think the many nasty comments directed at Kevin [and also implicitly at Nick] are much more disturbing than any supposed unexplored subtext conveyed in Kevin’s interview.

    50% of all straight couples get divorced. Relationships are hard. I’m noticing that as the fight for gay marriage gains traction more gay voices are taking on a conservative moralistic tone about the sanctity of relationships. If all relationships existed in this pristine picket fence kinda way, there wouldn’t be any interesting literature or art because it wouldn’t reflect true human experience which has always been a complicated story. Hearts are wounded and sometimes kingdoms have been lost….Think of Lancelot and Guinevere and Arthur. Allen Ginsburg loved the married Neal Cassady then on the rebound met and fell in love with Peter Orlovsky whom he spent his life with. I think Kevin’s interview is so great cause it has generated all these visceral reactions. How many of you have never known love or are threatened in love? I hope Kevin and Nick have an awesome time in life and last a lifetime – if that’s their destiny.

  32. AgBoiNV says

    YOU ARE NOT A NEVADAN!!!!! If you can not say the name of the state correctly, you can not claim to be a citizen of it. Just saying.

    A native Nevadan.

    PS- Really glad to hear your positive story!

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