Grant Storms | News

Watch: Anti-Gay Pastor Grant Storms' Pathetic Presser About His Arrest for Masturbating in Front of Children


Anti-gay pastor Grant Storms held a press conference today about his arrest at a public park for masturbating in front of children. Storms says he wasn't masturbating, he just had his hand down his pants! 

Said Storms: "That Friday I was reclined in the chair in the van, and I had opened my pants and I had my hand in my underwear. I'm not a pedophile. I'm not a child molester, and I don't go exposing myself to children."

Storms also "apologized" for his purity marches and campaigns against gay people, specifically the New Orleans festival Southern Decadence.

Said Storms: "I ask people that if they can find it in their heart, to forgive me. Which for some... it is not going to be easy to do because I had been vicious at times in my condemnation of others. I apologize for that."


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  1. I'm not condoning his actions, but at least he *did* apologize. That alone is pretty rare in this type of person, I feel.

    The bigger issue is of course what he was doing touching himself around children.

    Posted by: John | Mar 1, 2011 7:52:31 PM

  2. *LOVE* that photo of him! The tree in the background makes it look like he has crazy Don King hair!

    Posted by: peterparker | Mar 1, 2011 7:59:04 PM

  3. Grant, dude... A public apology is a good traditional warm up exercise, and it'll be cool to forgive you, just as soon as you make amends to those you've harmed.

    Posted by: Bryan | Mar 1, 2011 8:12:13 PM

  4. That still from the video makes him look like Phil Spector.

    And no, apologies are worthless. Didn't it all begin with Jimmy Swaggart, weeping "I have si-yunned ay-gainst you!"

    Posted by: NaughtyLola | Mar 1, 2011 8:27:24 PM

  5. What a dumbass. No lawyer, talking to the media for almost twenty minutes. Just a pervert mowing lawns as far as I can tell.

    Posted by: Grrr | Mar 1, 2011 8:53:00 PM

  6. isn't it wonderful how much clarity public humiliation grants you? suddenly he can see the error of his ways and realizes he's been vicious and unfair and cruel towards gays. The only question remaining is "how the hell did masturbating in front of children make you realize that you've been too hard (no pun intended)on the gays?!?"

    I'm sure this make-shift apology has nothing to do with the fact that he was just caught being a raging pedophile and needs all the folks on his side that he can get...

    Posted by: brando | Mar 1, 2011 9:49:38 PM

  7. ROFL!...totally thought the same thing about the pic and the Don King hair.

    Posted by: FreddyMertz | Mar 1, 2011 10:01:46 PM

  8. As Pat Benatar (or was it Jo Jo?) said: It's a little too little, it's a little too late.

    Posted by: rob | Mar 1, 2011 10:39:56 PM

  9. yeah apologies like prayers are worthless

    hot air upon the wind and the wind does not care

    ACTIONS alone matter = don't masturbate in front of children and donate a butt load of cash to pro-gay causes then all is forgiven

    Posted by: | Mar 1, 2011 10:58:52 PM

  10. he just has a wide stance and itchy balls
    me too

    Posted by: ned | Mar 1, 2011 11:50:06 PM

  11. Do more than apologize!! How can this guy be so crass?! How much damage has he done to gay kids in his community?! And then he publicly masturbates and expects an apology to suddenly balance out his own hypocrisy and all the harms he's caused to gays over the years?!

    I'm so sick of hypocrisy like his, and I don't want to ever hear anything else like this come up ever again!!! He is a representative of *so much* about America that has to just grow the F up!

    Posted by: X | Mar 2, 2011 2:11:23 AM

  12. Maybe the criminal justice system (lots a luck) will help him to "apologize." Considering Louisiana justice, perhaps not, but one can hope.

    I find it amazing that he has "apologized." Probably another ruse to avoid a long sentence. I also find Brando's comment, above, particularly to point.

    Posted by: David in Boston | Mar 2, 2011 4:43:20 AM

  13. I'll take the apology. It wasn't even an "if" apology. There are other people in very similar situations who did not apologize, or continued to condemn us.

    Posted by: Randy | Mar 2, 2011 5:24:06 AM

  14. Peter Parker, I thought the same thing. He is obviously insane, but the composition of the photo really makes the mark!!

    To the tune of Jesus loves the little children: Heterosexual, male, and white, they are precious......

    Posted by: bill miller | Mar 2, 2011 7:35:28 AM

  15. Nice wig you nasty pervert.

    Posted by: craig | Mar 2, 2011 8:44:39 AM

  16. Hand down his pants, head up his ass.

    Posted by: Jack M | Mar 2, 2011 8:55:00 AM

  17. Well, to forgive is the Christian thing to do...

    Too bad for you I'm not a Christian.

    Go DIAF.

    Posted by: Rich F. | Mar 2, 2011 10:01:37 AM

  18. I like his hair!

    Posted by: ioni | Mar 2, 2011 10:09:38 AM

  19. Okay he wasn't beating off....he was just...well....playing with in his a public front of....well...children.

    Gee, I wish I was his lawyer!

    Posted by: wimsy | Mar 2, 2011 10:41:50 AM

  20. It looks to me like he's ALREADY came skipping out of the closet, thinking that his homo hating past will be forgiven going into the lawn business. What other reason for this total 180 on gay people?

    Posted by: Scott | Mar 2, 2011 11:11:07 AM

  21. Pathetic just pathetic.

    Posted by: Dave | Mar 2, 2011 11:42:43 AM

  22. "I did not KILL my wife... she fell on the blade." This guy is rotted, throw him in jail!

    Posted by: Hollywood, CA | Mar 2, 2011 1:28:07 PM

  23. It's as if he repented in a New York minute and now is a changed man...just like that. He's probably afraid Christine O'Donnell will take away his masturbation rights.

    Posted by: Anomaly100 | Mar 3, 2011 12:05:17 AM

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