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Minnesota's Gay Community Apologizes to Disgraced State Senator Amy Koch for Destroying Her Marriage

Last week Brandon posted about Minnesota state Senator and Tea Party leader Amy Koch, who resigned after it was revealed she had cheated on her husband with a member of her staff.

KochThis week she received a letter on behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota:

On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage.  We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an "illicit affair" with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry.  And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

Read the full letter, AFTER THE JUMP...

An Open Apology to Amy Koch on Behalf of All Gay and Lesbian Minnesotans

Dear Ms. Koch,

On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage.  We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an "illicit affair" with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry.  And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of "adultery."

Forgive us.  As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that "gay marriage" is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours.  We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.

And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone's family.  We now see that marriage is more than that.  It is an agreement with society.  We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies.  Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.

From the bottom of our hearts, we ask that you please accept our apology.

Thank you.
John Medeiros
Minneapolis MN

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Comments

  1. Brilliant. This just made my day! Send one to Newt as well

    Posted by: PKNY | Dec 23, 2011 1:18:28 PM


  2. Jonathan Swift or Mark Twain couldn't have written a more acidly humorous (and dead-on) note. Well done.

    Posted by: Dback | Dec 23, 2011 1:21:24 PM


  3. wrap that brilliant letter around a big rock and throw it threw their windows!!!

    Posted by: Stevo | Dec 23, 2011 1:26:33 PM


  4. Love it. So clever.

    Posted by: Marguerite Gautier | Dec 23, 2011 1:31:28 PM


  5. Anyone wanting to write a similar letter could probably reach former Senator Cock, I mean Koch, at one of the businesses she owns back home in Buffalo, MN:

    Hance Utility Services or
    HBK Properties
    304 12th Avenue South
    Buffalo, MN 55313-2305

    Posted by: erik | Dec 23, 2011 1:43:18 PM


  6. beautiful

    Posted by: oousslander | Dec 23, 2011 1:49:36 PM


  7. > SLAP! <

    Posted by: TJ | Dec 23, 2011 1:55:16 PM


  8. That letter could be one of the more brilliantly snarky thing I have read in a long time. Bravo.

    Posted by: Lisa G | Dec 23, 2011 2:10:57 PM


  9. Phenomenal!! And yes, in the best Twainian tradition.

    Posted by: David R. | Dec 23, 2011 2:17:28 PM


  10. Brilliant. Well written.

    Posted by: Matt26 | Dec 23, 2011 2:28:22 PM


  11. God, how simply brilliant! Was having such a crappy day, and this just completely changed it!

    Posted by: jim | Dec 23, 2011 3:16:21 PM


  12. This is fantastic.

    Posted by: Paul | Dec 23, 2011 3:23:31 PM


  13. Buffalo, MN is my hometown. My ex-bf worked for Hance Utility Services. I couldnt be happier that this happened to someone like her. She is the Minnesotan Sarah Palin (Michelle Bachmann aside, since she is actually from Iowa). Please, Minnesota, do not pass this hateful amendment!!!!

    Posted by: Jay | Dec 23, 2011 3:25:08 PM


  14. This moment is just priceless. Someone hand me a glass of wine.

    Posted by: Bobby | Dec 23, 2011 3:43:07 PM


  15. I fcking love this. We need to keep hammering home this message to other political/religious hypocrites. Bravo.

    Posted by: YAR | Dec 23, 2011 5:22:24 PM


  16. LOVE IT! Finally some LGBT political theater I can get excited about. The glitter bombings, sorry, are just too childish seeming.

    Posted by: St. Theresa of Avila | Dec 23, 2011 6:23:21 PM


  17. Brilliant.

    Posted by: Ryan | Dec 23, 2011 9:47:22 PM


  18. This kind of responce was far too long overdue. What took so long?

    Posted by: vonlmo | Dec 23, 2011 11:09:35 PM


  19. I hope it was published in her area's local papers. Nothing like public ridicule to pay back these self-righteous moralists.

    Posted by: public embarrassment | Dec 24, 2011 12:55:55 AM


  20. I passed over this item three times as I read other items of the day's posts. Finally, I clicked on it as I was about to delete the whole post and go on to something else. What a terrible mistake that would have been.

    Brilliant!!!

    Posted by: Jerry6 | Dec 26, 2011 10:33:56 PM


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