News | Tyler Clementi

Tyler Clementi's Parents Speak Out: VIDEO


A heartbreaking Today show interview with the parents of Rutgers student Tyler Clementi, who jumped to his death from the George Washington bridge almost 15 months ago after his roommate Dharun Ravi broadcast a meeting he had with another man to the internet without his knowledge.

Clementi's parents talk about Tyler's state of mind, his coming out to them, their thoughts on Dharun Ravi, how they've dealt with his death, and their message to other gay kids.

Ravi recently refused to accept a plea deal and faces up to 10 years in prison if convicted.


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  1. I get annoyed that the media keeps just referring to the fact that he was spied on. What he did was spy on him and enable others to do so, as well, streaming what was going on for anyone to see, and posting about it on twitter, etc. to let others know, too. That's much worse than just spying.

    Posted by: Ryan | Dec 12, 2011 8:50:35 PM

  2. Such a heartbreaking story. I just wish I could go and grab him right off that bridge and hug him.

    Posted by: Justin | Dec 12, 2011 8:53:25 PM

  3. Amazingly graceful in their answers and in their actions. If only every parent could be this understanding and proactive.

    Posted by: benjamin | Dec 12, 2011 9:22:12 PM

  4. Sadly, I'm afraid I don't see the parents as proactive. They're in denial.

    Unfortunately, Tyler died of shame.

    Posted by: h | Dec 12, 2011 9:29:31 PM

  5. Tyler did reach out to his parents. He made it clear afterward how that felt for him.

    Posted by: h | Dec 12, 2011 9:32:41 PM

  6. What could have been the outcome if mom had been accepting?

    Posted by: h | Dec 12, 2011 9:33:50 PM

  7. 300 hours of community service for driving a young adult to suicide. Pathetic

    Posted by: Shawn | Dec 12, 2011 9:37:23 PM

  8. I will start by saying what happened to Tyler is horrific and horrible. What Rhavi did is pathetic and absolutely shameful. The mob mentality in me wants Rhavi to have his manhood taken from him in front of his parents and the entire world, and never be allowed to kill himself so he can face everyday knowing how pathetic of a human he is. However I question the legality of what Rhavi did. Is it illegal to stream your own room online? I am not sure what the privacy laws are regarding a space that you share with a roommate. I mean if I was to film the inside of someone else's house that would be against the law. But like what about a space that you share? Or a space that you own? I also agree with "H" that Tyler died of shame, which I believe then it wasn't solely Rhavi's fault for that, but it is a fault of society for not saying that gay is ok, and embracing healthy sexual relationships. Until that is attainable we will have hundreds of more people like Tyler who die of the shame that society inflicts on those who are LGBT.

    Posted by: Andrew | Dec 12, 2011 9:39:12 PM

  9. Dharun Ravi SHOULD go to prison for a minimum of ten years for invading the privacy of Tyler Clementi. Ravi destroyed a young man's life by humiliating, degrading, belittling him and Ravi should spend years behind bars where he will learn quickly what it is to be invaded. The likely sentence? Deportation back to India where Ravi's life will be celebrated and honored for his deplorable acts by his fellow friends and neighbors.

    I am very proud of Mr. and Mrs. Clementi for stepping forward rather then sink into the background of life and hide their son's death. It is all so very sad.

    Posted by: OS2Guy | Dec 12, 2011 9:51:56 PM

  10. big hugs to both of them, and a Thank You for them sharing this. the reality is this: how we are treated by the people we love most, and who claim to love us most, when we Come Out is massively impactful on our state of being.

    all parents need to see this clip, think about it, and take it to heart.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Dec 12, 2011 10:17:45 PM

  11. i feel for the parents. yes, they shoulda, coulda, woulda. the truth is, not every parent is gonna be well-versed in matters lgbt. how long did it take you to accept your own sexual orientation? don't you think it's understandable that they too felt they needed some time to digest the news? (and before someone misinterprets what i am saying: no, i am not saying that what she said was good; mainly, that given our society, it's understandable). i hope their foundation enables other parents to do what they shoulda, coulda, woulda...

    Posted by: daftpunkydavid | Dec 12, 2011 10:24:27 PM

  12. Stop harshing on Tyler's Mom. He was having difficulties processing the coming out process and he had some 18 years to do so. His Mom had only just learned about it and she didn't abandon or threaten him or anything else. She needed time to deal with it herself. Cut her some slack.

    Posted by: Marc C | Dec 12, 2011 10:36:53 PM

  13. My sincere & heartfelt condolences to the parents.

    To those that criticize them in any way... you are WAY outta line.

    Most everyone on this blog experienced a period of adjustment as people processed our newly out-orientations. The Clementis were simply robbed of that option.

    To put it in perspective, would people be making allowances for the roommate had the victim been a straight woman? It's a rhetorical question, because the answer is emphatically, NO.

    Posted by: Pete n SFO | Dec 12, 2011 10:54:29 PM

  14. @OS2GUY- why would an American citizen be deported to India?

    Thanks Andrew for a sensible comment. Ravi did something incredibly immature and stupid and it has ruined his life.

    However unlike most 18 year olds who do something immature and stupid, his actions had horrific, unthinkable consequences. I'm not making excuses for Ravi to say that he's going to live with this for the rest of his life, whether he goes to jail or not. Let's call off the lynch mobs (I'm disgusted at some of the comments advocating prison rape) and let the courts do their work.

    Posted by: Clif3012 | Dec 13, 2011 12:57:46 AM

  15. CLIF3012 - I agree with you that many people tend to go overboard with their comments. Imagine if we all had to pay similarly for the stupid, thoughtless things we have done in our lives, and long past the age of eighteen? Here is my problem with Ravi, that he was offered a plea deal of community service, and he rejected it. That tells me that he has no remorse for his actions whatsoever, and for that reason more than anything else, I hope he receives at least a minimal sentence and is deported back to India. I think he is a punk, and I would like to see some justice for Tyler.

    Justice would not be Ravi being raped. Seriously! Get a grip people!

    Posted by: RiccoRicco | Dec 13, 2011 2:57:38 AM

  16. I feel so bad for his parents, or any parents really that has to go through the loss of their child.

    Posted by: zeddy | Dec 13, 2011 3:32:39 AM

  17. If people have kids, they should be prepared for a kid who's heterosexual or a kid who's homosexual. Some much angst caused by unaccepting parents. Tyler would not have had to hide and feel ashamed if he felt he could have come to his parents early in his life and be accepted.

    Posted by: rb | Dec 13, 2011 9:56:52 AM

  18. They have a lot of nerve setting up a fund to remind everybody how terribly they handled their kid's desperate need. Unless they've been under a rock for the past dozen years, they have no excuse...and that mother needs to admit her arrogant rejection of her son was self-centered and dismissive. The tweet he sent said it all.

    Posted by: wimsy | Dec 13, 2011 11:10:46 AM

  19. well, they basically 'got what was coming to them.' maybe if they cared more abt thr son and less abt themselves he wouldn't b dead. i wonder if they r on the show because they r 'truly remorseful,' or just trying to 'line up some sweet-ass book deals.'

    Posted by: bro-mosexual | Dec 13, 2011 12:03:54 PM

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