1. TANK says

    Okay, I know some of the bitchy queens around here are going to have a hissy fit over what I’m about to say, but I just wish Towleroad would feature gay wedding stories with attractive, interesting, nonstereotypical gay people. I’m sure this heavy bald guy and the fussy little femme guy are nice people, but come on, they don’t have to act so over the top at their wedding. Yeah, not all gay guys resemble the Warblers (clean cut, preppy, macho singers/dancers on GLEE), but not all of us are flamboyant and silly, either. Our community needs to practice and not just preach an appreciation for our diversity.

  2. BAB says

    Tank and Hodzer, why do I get the feeling that neither of you will ever experience the joys of marriage? This couple is clearly happy and loved by their friends and family. Haters don’t always have to hate.

  3. Trust says

    @Tank and @Hodzer, sounds like you all are trying to pass off your insecurities and internalized homophobia as a call for “diversity.”

    That couple was attractive, interesting, and non-stereotypical. That party WAS diverse. Have you seen anyone at a wedding with Dia de los Muertos face paint!? So cool.

  4. dijiba says

    Tank – just because someone disagrees with you does not make them a bitchy queen. Sounds to me like a little bit of internalized homophobia on your part. We come in all shapes and sizes, fem and butch and we don’t have to hide who we are to please anyone.

  5. TJ says

    Yeah, Andy. Encourage sexy, simple, extravagant. But discourage fussy femmes and heavy bald guys. Because that makes TANK uncomfortable.

    Hey, I know how to fix this! Let’s have TANK and even RICK send in their videos! Let them show us the “right” sort of gay!


  6. Juanita says

    I hate to admit it but I agree with Tank and Hodzer. Could you two please send in your wedding videos so we can review them? I am certain you two do not qualify for any stereotypes…oh wait, no videos to share. It is OK guys. Bitter queens need love too

  7. stephen says

    @TANK: i have to admit that i’m not sure if your comment is meant to be sarcasm, but if not, wow…is that ever an ugly thing to say about a very heartwarming video of two guys celebrating their wedding day. then again, if your standard of ‘macho’ is the warblers on glee (‘fussy’ doesn’t even begin to describe them)…well, i guess that just about says it all. oh wait, does this qualify as a ‘hissy-fit’?

  8. hodzer says

    I’m sure my 30 years (next week is our anniversary thank you very much) with my partner/husband are causing me all sorts of insecurities and internalized homophobia. As usual with this blog, if you don’t automatically agree, you’re labeled a hater. So be it. When you reach 30 years, then we’ll talk. :-) And, even without marriage, we are clearly happy and loved by our friends and family.

  9. George PR says

    Tank: show us how it should be done: post a video of you and your man proving how diverse and butch the gay community can be!
    I enjoyed this clip plenty btw…

  10. Fenrox says

    @Tank, Eh, I think he does all right. There is usually a good mix of gay, butch, gross, super hott and other.

    It is possible that the really hot guys you want to see are not getting married…

  11. TJ says

    Yeah, ENDO, no old people! If you are old enough to be with someone for 30 years, you must be disgusting. That would be TOO much diversity. Let’s make the cut-off 25 years (that way, I can still send in mine if I convince the ball and chain to make it legal before fall, and assuming it becomes legal again here in CA).

  12. topher says

    Loved it! Wish one day that’s me right there. And I agree! The dia de los muertos face paint thing was awesome! Congrats to the happy couple!

    And to the haters: keep it up and you’ll never experience joy like this.

  13. Ant says

    Great video! Congrats to Ruben & Joaquin! You guys looked amazingly happy and great to see so much love surrounds you. Best to you both!

    @Tank/ Hodzer…..Idiots!

  14. JWL says

    There will always be anonymous haters like TANK and HODZER out there mewling for attention. People should stop giving it to them. Enjoy the beauty of the vid and a hearty F*CK OFF to those to C*NTS who didnt think they fellas were cute enough to deserve love and respect. Im sure you’re both GORGEOUS and MASCULINE and total trash.

  15. Kenny says

    Adorable beautiful and sweet loved it.

    @Tank: I really tire of people like you with that MACHO bully mentality of people like yourself who are ALSO GAY.Get over yourself the fact that you even spoke of diversity is laughable considering you attempted to stereotype people within this community to begin with.It really is tiring with people like you who perpetuate the stereotype that gay guys have to be macho masculine and act STRAIGHT at all times.Im guessing you conformed to what everyone else wanted of you instead of being true to who and what you really are.This community is diverse and it is time people like you stopped projecting the exact same kind of BIGOTRY and prejudice that the bigots spew in our general direction on a daily basis in this country.This us against them mentality is pathetic in this community it really is.Especially when its us against people from our OWN community mentality.Some guys are masculine some are feminine there are feminine STRAIGHT guys 2 nothing wrong with either of those.What is wrong though is mocking putting down and belitting people from the same community you come from just because you have insecurities and prejudices of your own towards certain kinds of gay guys.

  16. Howard says

    @Tank and Hodzer. It amazes me that you can look at that video and not see the joy, love, and happiness that radiates from the marriage celebration of Ruben and Joaquin.
    Instead of the anger and hate that others are heaping on you, I think pity is a more appropriate response. How sad and emotionally empty you must be if your first response to seeing this video is “Those guys are not attractive enough”.

  17. bleh says

    these are nice guys who have been together for 10 years–i know them. but the hysteria over marriage is such dreck. the idea of marrying makes me sick, and i relish the nontraditional lifestyle that being gay allows me to have. i just hope this doesn’t normalize lgbt relationships to the point where marriage is expected/anticipated/the purpose of our relationships. but people want it so they should be able to get it. i just don’t want to see it everywhere.

  18. BobN says

    Nice video, but no way would I include the Supreme Court building in my wedding video until they’ve recognized my right to get married.

    Correction. If we happened to be passing by and spotted Antonin Scalia returning to work from his lunch break, I would totally stop the car, get out and moon him. THAT I would include in my wedding album!

  19. Mary says

    Congrats to the newlyweds. Doesn’t that top picture look as if it would be a perfect photo for a Time magazine cover when marriage equality (notice I said when, not if) becomes legal in all 50 states?

    Although someone will point out that those columns on each side could be subliminally phallic symbols. Or maybe I’m just “seeing” too much. You know how socons are – people always say we think about gay sex even more than gays themselves do! But honestly, gay couples look as beautiful as straight couples do when they’re happy and celebrating their marriage.

  20. Tom LBCC says

    Tank, you think THIS is flamboyant and silly? I saw two obviously successful, in love, and very loved men. I saw exuberance and joy. I don’t understand your post at all.

  21. TANK says

    Well, I see a few thoughtful people here agreed with me, and some thoughtful people disagreed with me. Still, I respect my critics who made logical arguments and avoided catty and bitchy personal attacks. As an out and proud gay man who has always come across as very butch and has felt ostracized at times by the mainstream urban gay culture, I would just say that some of the nasty and mean spirited responses to my words demonstrate the very narrow mindedness I was criticizing. I should not have made negative comments about the appearance of the two guys getting married: they would never appear in my erotic dreams but maybe they would in the dreams of others here. I wish them happiness together. I will be glad to see other videos in the future of gay couples of all kinds. Yes, I hope to see racial and ethnic diversity, different class backgrounds, and all of that, but it would be really nice to see macho gay couples, too, amidst all the flamboyant and over the top couples, too. And I was just kidding about those pretty 25 year old queens playing high school kids in those stylish blazers being macho… obviously!!!

  22. Kenny says

    @Tank: Rolls eyes appalling that you speak of narrowmindedness when you prove you are the one who is that period. It continues to be obvious you have a prejudice and issue with flamboyant gay guys and feminine gay guys.Shameful.Too bad you cant get past your ego and your masculine persona to see that that is YOUR issue not ours.

  23. Den says


    If there were a higher number of wedding videos appearing on Towleroad featuring ‘regular’ gay couples would you complain that there was a lack of camp/flamboyant displays ?

  24. StraightGrandmother says

    The article says that Ruben and Joaquin got married in Washington DC. If I am not mistaken they got married at the US Supreme Court. If you pause the video and look at the outside of the building and compare it to photographs of the Supreme Court, it looks to me like it is the same building. It looks like they got married at the Supreme Court.

    Ruben and Joaquin if you are reading these comments, pay no nevermind to any negative comments, you guys look WONDERFUL and HAPPY and look perfectly HANDSOME and NORMAL to this StraightGrandmother. I wish you many years of happy wedded bliss.

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