Carson Daly | Mark Bingham | News

Mark Bingham's Mom Responds To Carson Daly

MarkBingham

Carson Daly forgot a very important person when he claimed gay people couldn't tackle a crazed pilot: Mark Bingham, the gay man who helped tackle terrorists on doomed 9/11 Flight 93.

But Alice Hoagland, Mark's mother, reminded the radio host in an interview with TMZ:

Yes, my gay son was known in our family for bringing me flowers on my birthday and Mother’s Day.  He also was known for careening down the rugby pitch, and, on the morning of September 11, 2001, for charging unarmed down the aisle of a doomed Boeing 757 to face knife-wielding Islamist thugs in a hijacked cockpit.

No one among his pick-up team of fellow passengers was asking 'Are you straight?  Are you gay?'  No one doubted that a guy who weighed 220 and stood 6’4” tall - who could run over a charging opponent on the field, and ran with the bulls in Pamplona earlier that summer - would be an asset to a desperate group trying to overcome a threat onboard an airliner."

The world has its share of strong, heroic gay men. Gay men in sports uniforms and military uniforms have been winning America’s games and fighting America’s battles for a long time: quietly, humbly, and in the face of vicious bigotry.

I hope you and I may have an opportunity to talk sometime.  I prefer to believe you didn’t mean to offend. Good luck to you.

Take that, Mr. D.

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Comments

  1. First, I seriously, seriously doubt Mr. Daly would be first in line to immobilize a manic, incoherent pilot mid-flight, which makes the comment even dumber.

    Second - when he stated that he was "attempt[ing] to make fun of myself and others," did he just include himself as teh gay?

    Posted by: SFIKUS | Mar 29, 2012 10:49:00 AM


  2. Well Said, Alice !!

    Posted by: Reppin2 | Mar 29, 2012 10:51:12 AM


  3. Let's not forget that Mr. Daly affected a high-pitched, lispy, falsetto voice while making his joke. It's pretty damn obvious what Mr. Daly thinks of gay people.

    Posted by: Johnson | Mar 29, 2012 10:58:14 AM


  4. Really well put Mrs. Hoagland!

    Posted by: DanSwon | Mar 29, 2012 11:08:23 AM


  5. Daly claims that he is not that kind of guy to say such things. In truth, he is that kind of guy, because he said them. It is like saying, "that's so gay", but who says that anymore? He should look inside and learn about himself.

    Posted by: trees | Mar 29, 2012 11:13:18 AM


  6. Respect!

    Posted by: stingo | Mar 29, 2012 11:17:38 AM


  7. I've met Alice a couple times (I taught as a long-term sub at Los Gatos High School, where Mark went to school a couple decades ago)--Mark had a plaque in his office (which you can see in the brilliant doc "With You")before his death that read "ALICE HOAGLAND IS A GODDESS." This is completely accurate.

    Posted by: Dback | Mar 29, 2012 11:23:39 AM


  8. I would like to see Carson D, Rick S, Mitt R, Michele B, Sarah P, Pat R, Maggie G etc to respond to this. Really, someone should get their responds.
    Mark was and is a very brave man. It won't bring him back, but at least he will make his mother proud forever.

    Posted by: Matt26 | Mar 29, 2012 11:27:12 AM


  9. But Alice won't be given a spot on the radio to defend us. So the media will continue to demonize us to distract attention from real corruption. They get away with it because our leaders are inept. Glaad should buy a tv spot for Alice. Instead they send a press release, which the press are free to ignore.

    Posted by: Wilberforce | Mar 29, 2012 11:31:39 AM


  10. Wait a minute. I am confused. I thought you all believed it was perfectly OK to be a big ole sissy-coward who runs from fights. ("Hey, that's just who I am and I should be accepted and respected for it.") So why the defensiveness from some of you when gays are characterized as such in situations such as this one?

    Er, you seem to be making the argument that I always make and am blasted for, namely that the sissy-coward image (and unfortunately reality in many cases) is what drags gays down in public opinion and prevents us from being truly respected.

    What gives?

    Posted by: Rick | Mar 29, 2012 11:40:24 AM


  11. If Daly means his apology, he'll have this woman on his show, and apologize in person, as well as discuss gay stereotyping.

    I doubt he'll do anything of the sort.

    Posted by: Lymis | Mar 29, 2012 11:41:48 AM


  12. You miss the point, Rick. This isn't an either/or situation -- i.e., "either" be a sissy (your term) or be a man. The point is that it's nobody decision but OUR OWN to decide how we want to be in the world. We don't need to default into acting masculine and resisting effeminacy (since that's playing the homophobe's game of deciding how we "should" be), and we also don't have to stifle critique when someone else (like C. Daly) wants to use tired stereotypes to make us smaller in the world. Bottom line: WE get to call the shots about who we are and how we act, not someone else. And because the real-life effects of inequity are still very much in play, the stakes are higher than you might think.

    Posted by: James Q. | Mar 29, 2012 11:56:07 AM


  13. Mrs. Hoagland is an extraordinary and eloquent woman. And rightfully a very proud mother. I honor her and the memory of her heroic son.

    Posted by: Bobby | Mar 29, 2012 11:59:38 AM


  14. @James Q Nicely stated, but it reveals the blind spot that so many of you have. Your real core value is non-conformity to ANY and ALL cultural standards of behavior....in other words, you are social anarchists. And it is a blind spot because the practical reality is that no society can function in the total absence of ANY behavioral standards.

    You want to use your sexuality as an excuse for being able to behave any way you want to, when that option is not available to anybody else--and, as disingenuous as they are, that is what the Religious Right means when they say gay activists want "special rights" rather than equal rights.

    By making absolute non-conformity your central goal rather than the elimination of homophobia, per se, you make it extremely difficult, if not impossible, for us to ever accomplish the latter.

    Not behaving effeminately is no more of a "burden" than not picking your nose in public or not defecating in public or not going nude in public. Indeed, it is a totally unnatural behavior and one has to go out of one's way to engage in it.

    At some point, you either decide you want to be a part of society or you want to be a perpetual outcast group and some of you seem to have decided on the latter, to the detriment of us all.

    Posted by: Rick | Mar 29, 2012 12:08:45 PM


  15. I think Carson just made a dumb statement. I don't believe he is anti-gay. I mean, c'mom, if we can't make fun of ourselves......

    Not all of us gay guys can look like me. 6 foot and solid muscle, so give Carson a break. He just put his foot in his mouth.

    Posted by: Alan | Mar 29, 2012 12:17:26 PM


  16. i finally realized why i was so unsatisfied with daly's apology. i don't want an APOLOGY, i want him to feel SHAME! he SHOULD be ashamed and i hope reading alice's comment his face BURNS with shame, at the insult to his memory and to the countless active duty military glbt warriors and veterans, and equally to our glbt law enforcement officers.

    i would also be quick to point out that flight attendants, often gay although by no means exclusively so, are just as likely to take down a danger to the airplane.

    keep those cards and letters coming in, with specifics, so that daly and all his ilk can have faces and names to think about.

    Posted by: bandanajack | Mar 29, 2012 12:21:01 PM


  17. Great post!

    Posted by: Jeff | Mar 29, 2012 12:21:27 PM


  18. Rick, your logic is faulty. You're positioning something you call "non-conformity" in opposition to a decidedly conformist, heterocentric state of being/behavior. And you're saying that all people should then conform to that heterocentric state of being. Ironically, that's asking for special rights. What I and many others believe to be true is that no one should have the right to monitor/dictate what constitutes *appropriate* personal behavior. (Picking one's nose in public is a pretty bad analogy, by the way, since that's an action, not an identity trait.)

    Bottom line: being "part of society," as you put it, should not entail having to "be" like anyone else. That's guaranteed in our Constitution and in the Bill or Rights. (Try making your argument stick with any other identity category -- should women have to downplay their identities "as" women? should black people have to downplay their identities "as" black? should the elderly have to downplay their identities "as" elderly? should the disabled have to downplay their identities "as" disabled? -- and you start to see how shaky those sorts of arguments are.) I would think it's much preferable to stop all of this anxiety about inclusion and exclusion and understand, instead, that no one has the right to determine how another person "should" behave.


    Posted by: James Q. | Mar 29, 2012 12:32:59 PM


  19. @James Q Yeah--you just introduced the other fallacy that has caused our movement such problems. Effeminacy is not an "identity trait"--it is an action, just like picking your nose in public.

    Nobody is born with the tendency to refer to other men as "girls" nor do they swish when they walk because their body structure causes them to (it does in the case of women) nor do they back down from fights even when physically capable of defending themselves because there is something about their genetic make-up that drives them to.

    No, that is all learned behavior--and to the extent it is an "identity trait", it is one that is a product of oppression and CONFORMING to the expectations of a homophobic society that if you are a gay man, you will be a sissy and a coward.....rather than being a form of defiance.

    So, just as the gay movement for many of you has become about non-conformity rather than eradicating homophobia, it has also become about defending effeminacy rather than defending our right to be have a respected place among other men as masculine equals.

    And that is what is killing us as a movement and will prevent further progress, if it is not corrected.

    Posted by: Rick | Mar 29, 2012 12:45:36 PM


  20. RICK - STILL an idiot!

    Posted by: TJ | Mar 29, 2012 12:51:44 PM


  21. In the same way that Chris Matthews shouldn't be giving legitimacy to Perkins, can't we stop giving legitimacy to Rick and his constant inane blathering by not replying to him? Or, even better, a bit of focused censorship and just ban him from the comments altogether? Free speech is great an' all but Rick gives free speech a bad name. Not to mention the bad name he gives to "straight acting" gays. How long do we have to read his pointless, self-hating, ill thought out drivel? Or at least mark his comments with a warning flag, cos I am often half way through his comments before I realize it's him again - and by then I've already pulled large clumps of my hair out with my bare hands.
    Pretty pu-lease?

    Posted by: aron | Mar 29, 2012 12:56:34 PM


  22. Fun Fact to Remember: At no point will any of the commenters who negatively talk about "femme guys" be able to provide a URL where they show themselves, in any capacity.

    why? well, that should be obvious.
    they're not Out, they're not as "masculine" as they wish they were, and they're the ones who are still living in fear of Straight People.

    FACT. TRUTH.

    This is why they come on here, every day, to anonymously complain about "femmes" - these are pathetically cowardly men who are living Closeted lives, and they're angry that the type of gay men that they've been brought up to loathe actually are more brave, and have bigger balls, than them.

    They wil come on, they will spew their same nonsense, but it will always be from a place of cowardly anonymity.

    why? because it's all they have left. if they don't get a place to anonymously complain about "femme gays" then they'll realize that they've wasted their entire lives. which they have.

    don't get angry with them. pity them. they'll never know the joys of an authentic existence.

    anyone care to prove me wrong by providing a URL where they show themselves?
    didn't think so.

    Posted by: LittleKiwi | Mar 29, 2012 12:59:38 PM


  23. to those who've been engaging Rick in dialogue, ask him instead for proof that he is what he claims we all should be.

    truly. don't talk to him anymore. ask him for video evidence that he's actually "living" this manly-example he demands everyone else live by.

    only ask for proof, not words.

    Posted by: LittleKiwi | Mar 29, 2012 1:01:19 PM


  24. "and by then I've already pulled large clumps of my hair out with my bare hands."

    Yes, the truth is very, very painful for many of you. I know. But it is still the truth--and running away from it never results in success in achieving one's goals.

    I harbor no illusions about how difficult it is going to be to overhaul a movement that has become so severely misguided over the years--and to alter long-entrenched patterns of behavior that are difficult to eradicate, but if that is not done, then we will never find our place in the social mainstream.


    Posted by: Rick | Mar 29, 2012 1:02:28 PM


  25. @ TJ, Aron, Littlekiwi, and others -- I don't comment/post on here often, so I had no idea about the Rick situation. Sorry for engaging him! Lesson learned.

    Posted by: James Q. | Mar 29, 2012 1:09:49 PM


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