What Is Your Opposite Gender Name?

LydiaDeetzWhen I'm rude to my mother, which is not often because she very early on instilled a deep respect in me of women [The right would have a field day with that, no?], she tells me, "I should have named you Richard."

You know, as in Dick. It is a phrase that I suppose is a throw-back to days in which humor was more – um – nuanced.

I was thinking about that today – because, boy, do I have a Dick in my life – and then I remembered that mama always told me that had I been a girl my name would have been Lydia. Lydia Belonsky. Atrocious, right?

Not that I think "Lydia" is an unattractive name, but the combination just doesn't work and I am still stumped to this day why my mother, typically so smart, would think "Lydia Belonsky" had a ring to it. That moniker also always makes me think of Lydia Deetz, the character played by Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice, which made finding a picture for this post quite easy.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that I am wondering whether any of you readers had alternate gender names or, even better, are transitioning and deciding on a more "gender appropriate" name.

Do tell in the comments.


  1. ichabod says

    Had I been born bereft of a y-chromosome, I am told my name would’ve been Eden Noel.

    Glad I was born with a penis!

  2. Kyle says

    My first name is Barry, but I go by my middle name because a neighbor girl born shortly after me was named Barry (or Barrie). I suppose I would have had much the same name if I had been a girl. However, and this is telling, my mother’s pet name for me when I was young was a play on Barry: Babs.

  3. says

    Jacqueline Christian.

    My older sister was taking French and they gave themselves names and that’s the one she chose. I used to dress up in her clothes and pretend I was Jacqueline Christian with a cadre of swarthy frenchmen to feed me grapes and change the Nintendo cartridges when I wanted to play a new game.

  4. mike/ says

    i never heard my parents talk about that for me, but with family tradition it would have probably been after both my grandmothers (i’m named after my grandfathers). so it would have been ‘Rosina’ and ‘Frances'; wow! never thought about that before; strange combo…

    my mother was born on February 12th & the doctor actually named her – ‘Lincoln’ – which is really a very beautiful name for a woman, if you think about it.

    BUT, i remember her saying she was glad she wasn’t born a boy or they would have named her “Abraham”!

  5. NaughtyLola says

    Shannon Storm! That’s a good one, it sounds like the secret identity for a superhero.

  6. Derrick from Philly says

    As a girl? I don’t know. As a woman? Drunk Ho. Same thing they call me now.

  7. Derek Pearce says

    I was never told by my parents what my name would’ve been had I been born XX instead of XY. But for what it’s worth, I decided a while ago that if I were ever to do drag, forgoing the “formulas” that exist out there for getting your drag name, I want to be Dusty Nicnacs.

  8. Angela Channing says

    Well my internet nom de plume is already opposite gender. Whenever I send complaints to a company, I use Katherine Chancellor. See a pattern here? LOL.

  9. Tom Howe says

    My female name would have been Heidi. Heidi Howe.

    Reason #237 why I am grateful for a penis.

  10. Wavin' Dave says

    Any chance that Andrew Belonsky could be replaced by some version of an e-journalist? He’s pretty creepily off-the-mark with each posting.

  11. WOW says


    You always seem to be on here with your cattiness when someone other than Andy is posting. It’s kind of getting old! This site is more than just hard news, and that is just fine. I like the mix of news and lifestlye/fun stuff that appeals to our gay sensibilities. Not everything is going to appeal to everyone so quit acting like a crabby old fart.

  12. ZombieTuring says

    Ugh, god. Andy, please have Brandon Thorp take over next time you go on vacation. This Belonsky person is so inept and annoying. I don’t HAVE a female name, ’cause, ya know, I’m not a girl and don’t have any interest in pretending I am one. Shocker, right?

    More Brandon, more science, more skepticism, more honest news reporting without patronizing spin, LESS of this. Thanks.

  13. WOW says

    Include Wavin’ Dave to that post as well. Some people do nothing but complain.

  14. Ryan says

    LOL Andrew, this was random :p

    Not bad, mind you, but random.

    Wish I had an answer. Never bothered asking my mother what she would have called me had I been a girl.

  15. DC says

    My first name is Damon. I usually end up being called Damien, thanks to ‘The Omen’. Actually, any male name that begins with a ‘D’ seems to work, as soooo many people can’t seem to remember it. I’ll answer to David, Darren, Daniel, whatever. I was told that if I had been born a girl, I was going to be named ‘Chandeliel’. As in, a play on chandelier, the light fixtures. Mind you, I’m of mixed race, coming from English / Scottish / Black Irish mixed with Cherokee / Cree – somehow this makes me Caucasian. And, I’m from Protestant, small-town Statesota! My parents were quite sheltered and sober… I have no idea what they were thinking, other than they liked how those names sound.

  16. Keppler says

    I would have been Susan, instead of Tim. I’ve honestly never met a “Susan” I liked. (Present company excepted, of course….) Glad I was born a boy.

  17. titus says

    lucy leanora. which thankfully i was born a male. however, she was mom’s great grandmother and was a hell of a lady. she may have attended the woman’s right convention of 1848 (the records burned) at 18 with her mother, knew all and worked with all the women righters of her day, was egged for co-sponsering a talk by fredrick douglass, was a major educator in syracuse, was a single mother (widowed young), wrote the flora and fauna standard for onandaga county, helped establish the historical society for onandaga county. i have a newspaper clipping of her and her best friend of 85 years, both in their 90’s, in edwardian black, taking tea, having returned from voting for the first time in 1920.

  18. gerry says

    Since I was born before the era when parents could know the gender of their fetus, my name was supposed to be Leslie Delilah Mariah Louise.

    Since I was born a boy, however, I am Gerard Marcelino Lewis Joseph

  19. Marty says

    It’s not complaining, as much as recognizing this Belonsky person is out of his league. Why would we want to hear about his ridiculous “my mother made me respect powerful women” home-made story which somehow ridiculously morphs into a “what’s your girl name” as a news story…
    it’s diminishes the credibility of this blog…not to mention hearing adult gay men squeal about their girl names?…

  20. Twometers says

    I was due in late Dec, expected to be a girl and christened Holly Ann. I thank Santa every holiday for giving me Christmas Balls.

  21. WOW says

    Marty you’ve obviuosly got an axe to grind. If you don’t like it move on to another story here on the blog. I do. Not everything is going to appeal to everyone. I think of this blog like a newspaper, I don’t read every section of the paper (or every posting on here), but I’m not going to whine about something that doesn’t grab my attention. Lighten up.

  22. says

    Coming from a family of five serious competitive Alpha Males( I’m the only gay one ) I cannot even abstractly conceive of an answer to this existential conundrum.

  23. Jacob says

    My father was quite taken with “Toyota Corolla” because of the way it rolls off the tongue. My mom wanted “Emma Dewdrop” for a girl baby. Either way, thrilled to be male.

  24. PDX Guy says

    I was told had I been born a girl, my name would have been “Rosemary”. Yikes!!

  25. says

    But I do smile at the question……I have seriously never even thought of such a left field issue…….

    The idea has thrown me so much that I think I may be a Kinsey Six !

  26. says

    Sam worked out rather well for me.
    Most people tend to assume it stands for Samuel, but i was actually named Samantha.
    According to my mother, alternative names would have been Christine, or Alexandra… so i would have been Chris or Alex.

  27. Teddies Tura says

    I was to have been either James Gregory or Vickie Lynn. When I was born, my father asked my mother to name me after his father, to which she replied, “Hell no, I ain’t naming him Togo.” He said “Can we stick Earl in there somewhere?” (his name was Earlie Togo. I kid you not) so I became Richard Earl, nickname Rickie to match siblings Robbie and Debbie. Yes, they gave me the feminine spelling. But it’s okay, I guess. My brother’s middle name is Gay.

  28. Anthony says

    I am named after my great grand parents Antonio and Antonia, so its a safe bet this Anthony would prolly been an Antoinette – or Antoinetta like my momma – had I been born a female…

  29. Burch says

    I would have been Julia, after my grandmother, aunt, great aunt, etc. (Southern family, only two or three names for each sex, reused multiple times with strange nicknames because of all the duplication). But my middle name is Rosiland, and my sister’s middle name is Carlos – no joke.

  30. Marc C says

    Honestly I couldn’t imagine what name I might have. But I’m not so uncomfortably misogynistic that I feel the need to complain about having been asked on Towleroad.

  31. Jonathan says

    In general, I’m not fond of the “if you don’t like it leave” standard response to internet grumbling. However, I have to admit, if this is something worth your time to complain about, your time isn’t worth all that much.

    My mother liked being ready. She had four names for each of her two pregnancies, two boys’ names and two girls’ names just in case either of us were twins. Since I only have an older brother, the girls’ names were reused when she was pregnant with me. If either of us had been a girl, we’d have been Sarah in honor of our paternal grandmother.

  32. WOW says

    @Jonathan: Nobody said they had to leave. Just realize not everything is not going to appeal to them. There are plenty of other articles on here. They seem to have this hate for certain bloggers and all they do is complain. They just come across as bitter Betty’s.

  33. Jay says

    I was born in 1972. My parents, true California republicans (until Clinton), were going to name me Tricia. After Richard Nixon’s daughter….omg.

  34. Rick says

    Are you reading this, America? You just tuned in to the most popular gay blog in the country and you find a bunch of grown men talking about what their “girl name” would have been.

    And tomorrow, they are going to tell you that they are NOT twisted, gender-confused people and expect you to take them seriously and show them respect.

    Got that?

    And how will this influence your vote if a referendum on gay rights is held in your state or community?

    Yeah, I know…..just look at the track record.

  35. DavidGroff says

    You keep it up, Andrew Belonsky! Don’t let the righteous and dreary get you down.

  36. Sumner says

    I was to have been Susan Heidi were I a girl. As it turns out, I was born and remain a male, the first after two miscarriages, so they hung my father’s name on me and stuck “III” at the end. I’ve been called a host of other names by those who were not paying attention when introduced: Seymour, Steadman, Spencer, Simon, and, the most used, Summer.

  37. DeutschStudent says

    Lily, which is beautiful and totally inappropriate to my personality and too genteel for drag :p My mother had a very good sensibility.

  38. Derek Pearce says

    This is a site for news AND pop culture, and it’s FREE for you to read. Quit bitching, boys. Nobody’s forcing you to read each article, let alone comment on them.

  39. John Conolley says

    I don’t know what my mom would have named me if I’d been a girl, but I picked one for myself: Katie. Transitioning is out of the question. I’ll never have that much money.

  40. Bigboy says

    @ Rick or whatever other alias you have:

    So, everything has to be hard news only? Judging by how many people have responded so far, not everyone has a stick up their butt like you. People can have a light-hearted discussion about simpler things. You can turn it off the pressures of the world every once in a while. We get it, you don’t like Andrew. Did you get passed over for blogging duties or are you just naturally a bitter, bitter person?

  41. says

    Caskey is my mother’s madien name. Her plan was to always name her first born child Caskey regardless of sex. I turned out to be a boy, but it would have been the same if I were a girl.

  42. steven says

    If I was a girl, I would have been Julie Anne McCoy. Julie McCoy – and this was pre-Love Boat. Thank God I got that y chromosome.

  43. UFFDA says

    Better yet – if any of you had turned out to be real men what would your names be?

    This is all so stupid I just had to invent the most offensive question I could think of. Sorry.

    And Mr. Belonsky you’re just fine, you may be a little dorky but not everyone can be as cool as the complaining hipsters here. Just don’t call yourself “an old fart.

  44. Brian says

    I was born with a fraternal twin sister (to the surprise of my parents), so they got to use both of their name picks. My name is Brian, and my twin sister is Becky.

  45. Perkin Warbeck says

    Janelle (and no, PW is not my “real” name…it’s my nom de net) Janelle, in Australia, would have been a bit of a trial, c.1990 when comedians Marg Downey and Magda Szubanski (“Babe”) did a recurring sketch of a morning television info-mercial style show featuring Magda as a fairly common accented beauty therapist/entrepreneur with an ever increasing array of eye-popping services at her ever increasing chain of “House de Beauté” salons and Marg as the “interviewer” whose name was – Janelle, which led to a catch-phrase when Magda’s character answered a question in the affirmative, “Oh rooty-tooty Janelle”. Glad I wasn’t born with the vajayjay!

  46. wyocowboy says

    Never thought about a female name and my.parents wld likely not have changed my name…if it was me…I don’t know

  47. wyocowboy says

    Never thought about a female name and my.parents wld likely not have changed my name…if it was me…I don’t know

  48. says

    Mine would have been Olivia. My mom wanted a girl when she had me. :-) I always thought Lydia was short for Olivia (I was a big Beeteljuice fan when I was a kid and watched the cartoons too) but I guess that’s not true.

  49. Book 7 says

    My gay friend told me his dad vetoed the name Kevin because it was ‘too gay’. D’OH!

  50. Joseph Simonowich says

    Sadly I would have been Jennifer Renee….. I envision her being a very butch 4-H kinda girl.

  51. says

    Apparently I had a very slow in-utero heartbeat, and the doctors thought I was a girl until I popped out. The doctor said, “Screaming already, isn’t that just like a woman… Oh.”

    I would have been “Carol”.

  52. Doug says

    Claudia – my father’s name is Claude. So…. unfortunately, I was born a boy and given his Uncle’s first name – Clyde. And you wonder why I use my middle name…

  53. voet says

    My younger sister is Carol Jean, so that probably would have gone to me if I were born female. However, if I ever did drag I would like to be “Kitty Liteur.” She is always saying “I’ve had enough s**t from you people!”