Comments

  1. Fenrox says

    And how exactly is that entirely subjective trick supposed to teach bigots anything?

    So let me get this straight, You pose as a gay man for a year. You come out to positive to neutral results. You superficially join the “community” and hang out with gay people.

    Then you wrote a book.

    It’s a good example of how to get a simple book some quick press I guess.

  2. Skeptical says

    This would be more interesting if he were gay and wrote about what it is like to be overweight and unattractive in the gay community. He’s probably actually gay, but wants to go back in the closet. Imagine the relief of his evangelical family and friends when they found out he was “just kidding” when he originally came out.

    Who’s his publicist? He got himself on television before writing his book, but based on the announcement he hung out in the gayborhood in Nashville(but he’s really straight). How shocking!

    Reminds me of that groundbreaking 1950s book Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin where a journalist colored his skin and passed for black.

  3. Saul says

    I think that it is highly admirable that someone straight, male, and from a religious upbringing would take such large actions to try to understand his fellow man. Society in the US and other nations would benefit from having more citizens such as this; those with astonishing levels of empathy. Truly a real Christian trait, attention and fame aside.

  4. Mundus says

    Let’s reserve judgement till the book comes out; I am not sure I entirely approve but it must have taken a certain amount of courage to engage in such an experiment, given his background. He himself, judging by his comments in interview above, is the first to recognize the limits of his year of masquerade and has no compunction in acknowledging that he could not replicate any kind of sense of what it is to BE gay.

    I would have been interested, however, to have heard the interviewer probe him about the reaction of his family and his gay friends when he revealed that it had been a fascinating, albeit possibly gimmicky, social experiment.

  5. David in Houston says

    If he wanted to know what the real experience is like, he shouldn’t have told his family and friends that he was just pretending. THEN he’d get the real world reaction that he claims that he was interested in seeing. This experiment is totally half-assed and means nothing. Oooooh… I hung out at a coffee shop sitting next to some gay guys. Big deal!

  6. David in Houston says

    If he wanted to know what the real experience is like, he shouldn’t have told his family and friends that he was just pretending. THEN he’d get the real world reaction that he claims that he was interested in seeing. This experiment is totally half-assed and means nothing. Oooooh… I hung out at a coffee shop sitting next to some gay guys. Big deal!

  7. BillinSonoma says

    seems as though his heart might have been in the right place, but his background shines through in the turn of phrase “these people” during the interview …

  8. Rick says

    “This would be more interesting if he were gay and wrote about what it is like to be overweight and unattractive in the gay community”

    Great point. If he really is straight, then he is used to women being less interested in a guy’s appearance than his social/financial status as a marker of attractiveness. He undoubtedly found out very quickly that practically all that matters to gay men, by sharp contrast, is what a guy looks like……and his being obese would have so totally skewed his experience of what being gay is like for most of us–in a hugely negative way–that it would pretty much invalidate that experience altogether.

    Being extremely attractive and gay is a totally different experience from being unattractive and gay–totally.

  9. Mundus says

    @DavidinHouston:

    If he wanted to know what the real experience is like, he shouldn’t have told his family and friends that he was just pretending.”

    Perhaps, I got the wrong end of the stick, David; I got the impression from the interview that his family did not know he was pretending until after the year-long period.

  10. Grover Underwood says

    I don’t buy the whole “fat is ugly” thing; I guess none of you have ever heard of the bear community?

    Using the phrase “these people” comes across as very inclusive to me. It’s hard to explain but when I heard the phrase “these” whatever, to me it means a group of something which is close to the speaker as opposed to “those” which means to me something that is apart from or distant from the speaker.

  11. theotherlee says

    @David in Houston… From what I understand of the interview, his family didn’t know for the duration of the experiment that he was really straight.

    Like Mundus said above, I want to reserve judgement for when the book is released. But coming from a southern, religious background myself, if he is truthful in the fact that it was his religious background that contributed to his own bullying attitudes toward gays, I can see how having a positive response by his family was a surprise. A good one at that.

  12. Rick says

    “I don’t buy the whole “fat is ugly” thing; I guess none of you have ever heard of the bear community?”

    Does being a bear equate to being obese? Hairy, yes. Big, yes. Obese? Don’t think so.

    I have never met any gay man in my entire life who considered being grossly overweight an attractive trait, but maybe there are one or two out there, somewhere.

  13. AdamK says

    This reminds me of “Black Like Me,” a book that came out in the sixties where a white guy took pigment pills, posed as black and went wandering around getting oppressed for his book.

  14. Rick says

    “I don’t buy the whole “fat is ugly” thing; I guess none of you have ever heard of the bear community?”

    Is being a bear defined as being fat? Hairy, yes. Big, yes. Obese? Don’t think so.

    I have never come across any gay man in any “community” who thought that being grossly overweight was an attractive trait, but maybe there are one or two out there, somewhere.

  15. Derrick from Philly says

    But didn’t he say that part of the reason for his “experiment” and the book was to document his evolution from homophobe to being enlightened about Gays?

    And yeah, he’s overweight, but who says he’s unattractive?

    Some of the longest running Gay partnerships (marriages) I’ve seen are between heavy people.

    Being “pretty” aint gonna’ get you much. Maybe an STD or two.

  16. Rick says

    I think I know very well what it’s like to be gay and unattractive. I haven’t gotten f*cked since the days of Segregation. Can’t you tell? The shallow gay queens of this so-called community make it very clear that I’m so ugly I couldn’t get f***ed if I fell ass-first onto a cock factory.

  17. Chitown Kev says

    actually, his face looks quite handsome.

    yeah, he’s a little on the heavy side but he may be more “big boned” (as they say in the South) than anything else.

    I know quite a few guys that would find him quite attractive…

  18. theotherlee says

    Getting f*cked, in your case, may have less to do with your physical appearance, and more to do with your attitude. As far as I know, you’ve never shared a pic. So that’s purely conjecture on my part.

  19. Mundus says

    @Rick:

    I think I know very well what it’s like to be gay and unattractive. I haven’t gotten f*cked since the days of Segregation. Can’t you tell? The shallow gay queens of this so-called community make it very clear that I’m so ugly I couldn’t get f***ed if I fell ass-first onto a cock factory.

    Goodness, Rick; yes, gay men can be particularly picky about beauty and youth (and penis size) but hardly all, surely there are pleasant, balanced gay men out there who would like you regardless of your (perceived, and I am sure exaggerated) shortcomings.

    We aren’t ALL dizzy, disco, size-queen, youth-obsessives, you know; some of us value personality, humor, intelligence and experience, also.

  20. theotherlee says

    But Mundus, if we are to go by his posting history here as a sign of what he is in everyday life… even those of us that value personality, humor intelligence and experience wouldn’t be too attracted to Rick. lol

  21. Bemused says

    When I was growing up there was a family next door with three daughters each of whom tipped the scales.

    Everyone used to say how they had “such pretty faces” and “lovely personalities”.

  22. Rick says

    No, I’m a very handsome masculine man it’s just that you effeminate queens are scared of masculine men and pretend you find me ugly. I’m the handsomest man ever, but I’m not effeminate enough for you limp-wristed queens.

  23. Rick says

    “I think I know very well what it’s like to be gay and unattractive. I haven’t gotten f*cked since the days of Segregation. Can’t you tell? The shallow gay queens of this so-called community make it very clear that I’m so ugly I couldn’t get f***ed if I fell ass-first onto a cock factory”

    Again, people, use your brains. This comment was made by Little Kiwi, acting as an impostor, using my name. The comments previous to it in the thread that bear my name are from me, the “real” Rick, but that one is not.

    Thanks.

  24. public health says

    ummmmmmm he’s overweight if not straight-up obese.

    it’s funny how people think a BMI of approx. 27 is “normal” these days.

    our perceptions have become so skewed by our general fatness. 68% of Americans are overweight or obese.

    online, i see people make asinine comments all the time about how someone needs to eat a burger b/c they can see the person’s faint outline of bones right underneath the armpits. NO, HONEY, THAT’S NORMAL.

  25. jim says

    So what did he do for a year? Did he develop any close friendships with guys in the gayborhood, bond with anyone, hear and get to understand the gay journey? Is that the sort of multi-leveled and shaded experience sharing that swayed his longheld beliefs? Or did he just hang out solo in the hood and observe? This interview doesn’t say a whole lot…

  26. cdubois says

    To be clear, the amount of money a man makes is WAAAAYYY more important to me than his appearance ; ) Looks fade, mixed securities, jewels, and sound investments can be made to last forever!

  27. Mundus says

    @theotherlee:

    “But Mundus, if we are to go by his posting history here as a sign of what he is in everyday life… even those of us that value personality, humor intelligence and experience wouldn’t be too attracted to Rick. lol”

    Oops? I regret I am a European poster and not a regular one, theotherlee; but surely he should be given the benefit of the doubt? and yes, gay men CAN be a teensy bit shallow – I recall the occasion some years back when a lone disturbed, young man bombed the Admiral Duncan gay bar in London – he was subsequently caught and convicted and I recall overhearing a conversation of a group of gay men who were all rapt over how cute the perpetrator was…

  28. Rick says

    And for the record I have no trouble getting laid. The kind of men I’m attracted to, straight men who frequent public bathroom gloryholes, aren’t at all particular.

  29. Tim Goecke says

    Well, this little conversation devolved rather quickly, didn’t it? I wanted to point out the old “I’m just here doing research” excuse for getting caught in a gay bar, but never mind.

  30. Mundus says

    @Rick:

    “And for the record I have no trouble getting laid. The kind of men I’m attracted to, straight men who frequent public bathroom gloryholes, aren’t at all particular.”

    Goodness, and who said romance was dead?

  31. Rick says

    “No, I’m a very handsome masculine man it’s just that you effeminate queens are scared of masculine men and pretend you find me ugly. I’m the handsomest man ever, but I’m not effeminate enough for you limp-wristed queens”

    “And for the record I have no trouble getting laid. The kind of men I’m attracted to, straight men who frequent public bathroom gloryholes, aren’t at all particular”

    More from Little Kiwi, acting as an impostor.

    Mundus, do you speak English?

  32. anon says

    Well, since they didn’t go over the book at all, there isn’t much to say right now. Not sure what you can learn hanging out in bookstores, coffee shop and bars.

  33. Eric says

    Well, we don’t have much of a gayborhood here in Nashville…a few bars and clubs along Church Street, and a few others scattered around the city.

    If the point is to understand what it’s like being gay and the prejudices and discrimination people face, surely his time would have been better spent being out at work, in a church, holding hands with a guy in a movie theater, etc? Hanging out in a self-selecting enclave seems limited.

    Though, from the comments here and the attitudes of many others, he would have experienced plenty of prejudices among individuals in the gay community from his appearance (not from all, just some). Sexuality is one focus of discrimination, but it also focuses on appearance, race, class, and many other ways to divide.

  34. Dean says

    It’s funny what gets edited out. I wrote the most accurate critique of Thomas Roberts. I find him the worst example of gay on TV. And I’m talking finger in the mouth gag. Where’s my comment? Has this site become PRAVDA too?

  35. Michaelandfred says

    Reserving judgement, I think its an interesting idea. While he can’t know what it feels like to be gay, what he can learn is the discrimination we face from the rest of society by stating two simple words. I’m guessing that was the flip side of the study, not just getting to know “us” as real people, but what it’s like from the inside looking out.

    We always say, “but I’m the same person I was ten minutes ago before I told you,” which of course isn’t quite true, but for him it IS, but the reaction to his statement is then even more profound. Still exactly the same but treated completely different. I’m sure he learned a lot.

  36. Sam says

    Unless he had sex with a man, that is not really having a “gay experience”. Hell, I had straight female friends march with me in the pride parade last weekend that would be more gay than him.

  37. Mundus says

    @Rick:

    “More from Little Kiwi, acting as an impostor.”

    “Mundus, do you speak English?”

    With all due respect, Rick – I have never encountered your comments before – I have no baseline with which to compare. To be honest if some strange person is impersonating you online then, and to be utterly frank, that is your problem, not mine; it is of course, to be regretted if half of your posts are not actually yours and a third party is garnering you a poor reputation.

  38. MateoM says

    Mundus, the fake-Rick is a recent (and hilarious) invention. Trust me when I say that the real (p)Rick has earned quite a negative reputation all on his own. He’s extremely sexist, racist, classist, and femmaphobic. And he’s a bigot-apologist.

  39. Mundus says

    @Mateom:

    “Mundus, the fake-Rick is a recent (and hilarious) invention. Trust me when I say that the real (p)Rick has earned quite a negative reputation all on his own. He’s extremely sexist, racist, classist, and femmaphobic. And he’s a bigot-apologist.”

    How do I tell fake, parody Rick from actual Rick then ??? *worries*

  40. Derrick from Philly says

    Hi, Mundus,

    You asked, “How do I tell fake, parody Rick from actual Rick then ??? *worries*”

    The fake one has some of the funniest postings you’ll read on this blog. Sometimes they seem almost cruel, but you’ve got to remember who they’re aimed at.

    There was one last week about Rick using an eggplant in place of a dildo. I’m still laughing over that one.

    Oh, and since you’re new here you might want to know that there is an entity (I was going to say person but stopped myself)…an entity who is almost as awful as Rick. His posting name is Ratbastard. He should be living in 1940 Berlin. He’d be happy in his SS uniform. Instead he’s stuck in Boston Massachusetts…or rather, Boston is stuck with him.

  41. wtf says

    Oh Rick. You’re just so…stupid. And we’re all just SO impressed with your manliness. You remind me of someone…oh I know! Bryan Fischer! That’s it!

  42. wtf says

    Oh Rick. You’re just so…stupid. And we’re all just SO impressed with your manliness. You remind me of someone…oh I know! Bryan Fischer! That’s it!

  43. Matthew Hintzen says

    Have none of you heard of the Book “Black Like Me”? This is a long time honered way of “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes”. He was willing to test a hypothesis in a personal way, Good On Him, Good For Him.

  44. Hollywood, CA says

    His attempt at being gay and trying to understand the lifestyle is 110% more than most, so I applaud his efforts. More like him, Please!

  45. Hollywood, CA says

    His attempt at being gay and trying to understand the lifestyle is 110% more than most, so I applaud his efforts. More like him, Please!

  46. Truman says

    How could this person know what it’s really like to be gay like Rick? Rick is a real mannequin, with a real boyfriend he wants to marry. We know he’s the real thing because he did what some teens do when they don’t fit in, but thank god he got over it and later pose naked online to validate what, I didn’t see. He’s so confident he blocks people from Twitter. He hasn’t got Anderson’s pedigree, but Anderson doesn’t strive to be a perfect example. Fortunately news anchors come and go. I’m not fond of people who “represent” me .Remember, bitching is an art form. Someone’s negative could be your positive and visa versa.

  47. Bebo says

    I’m more curious about Rick than this character. How could this person know what it’s really like to be gay like Rick? Rick is no news mannequin. He’s got a real boyfriend he wants to marry — yes marry He’s the real today gay. I’ve seen his backside on line. All the greats do that – Mr. Black. He’s so sure of himself he blocks people from Twitter at the drizzle of anything negative. He may not possess Anderson’s pedigree, but Anderson can’t pass as straight. I’m so glad we finally have a “normal” guy to “represent” us. Too bad Richard Engel is my favorite. This edited job should pass muster.

  48. Bebo says

    I’m more curious about Thomas than this character. How could this person know what it’s really like to be gay like Tom? Thomas is no news mannequin. He’s got a real boyfriend he wants to marry — yes marry He’s the real today gay. I’ve seen his backside on line. All the greats do that – Mr. Black. He’s so sure of himself he blocks people from Twitter at the drizzle of anything negative. He may not possess Anderson’s pedigree, but Anderson can’t pass as straight. I’m so glad we finally have a “normal” guy to “represent” us. Too bad Richard Engel is my favorite. This edited job should pass muster.

  49. William says

    Wow! So much low self-esteem in this comment thread. What’s all this talk about obesity? Some are are attracted to it, some are not. To each his own.

    As for the subject-person, I wouldn’t judge him. His experiment, from what I gathered, was not about trying to figure out what it is like being gay, but about what it is like to be on the negative social response to being gay. I think he learned his lesson and will make his point.

  50. William says

    Wow! So much low self-esteem in this comment thread. What’s all this talk about obesity? Some are are attracted to it, some are not. To each his own.

    As for the subject-person, I wouldn’t judge him. His experiment, from what I gathered, was not about trying to figure out what it is like being gay, but about what it is like to be on the negative social response to being gay. I think he learned his lesson and will make his point.

  51. Dave says

    he is proof that Christians pretend to be gay to get into the gay community, some do it to spy and some to it to try and change gays and some do it to make trouble. The Mormons are doing this a lot, pretending to be gay to save gay souls. While he says he want to walk with gays what are his real motives? If he is Christian then that means he wants gays to stop being gay, which is impossible since God created them gay. What is so hard for Christians to understand about God creating gays? They think that God made them, right? Most likely he will do what a lot of Christian do and that is try to stop gays from having gay sex, like that is any of their business. Why do Christians think they have any business in the sex life of people, I never read that in the Bible that God say stop people from having sex?

  52. William says

    @Dave: What are you smoking? I’m Christian and I’m gay. I’m not infiltrating group, nor am I trying to convert anyone.

    I’ve never heard of any Christian group intentionally “infiltrating” anyone. Christians are not C.I.A. or F.B.I. Do fundamentalist Christians want to convert folks? Yes. Do they sometimes (or often) lie in their efforts? Yes. But to become infiltrating spies? Seriously? Again, what are you smoking?

  53. Stefan says

    I guess I’m a little confused by the point of the experiment. Was it to understand what gay people are like to shatter his past misconceptions? Or was it to better understand the persecution gays deal with when coming out, based on what happened to his friend? If it’s the latter, which it seems to be, then why hang out in a gay neighborhood?

  54. Lucas says

    This one’s kind of a hot topic right now…

    I actually support him in his efforts here. I give him credit for walking a mile in our shoes, so to speak. He seems like an honest ally who is trying to educate the public and speak up for equality.

    But I probably don’t care enough to buy the book :)

  55. Ed says

    I still can’t stand Thomas Roberts. He’s so smug and prissy. I hope he goes the way of Rick Sanchez and Keith Olbermann. There are so many gay newscasters. This guy’s no Anderson Cooper. Anderson has class.

  56. DCMichael says

    What he did was highly commendable and he’s exemplary in his world. I can’t believe some of these stupid hateful comments above. They’re just as bad as some hateful religious right commentary we see / hear every day. People are so disappointing, sometimes, no matter what the sex.

  57. Chuck Mielke says

    I look at Mr. Kurek as if he were a kind of anthropologist. He had the curiosity and courage to challenge his own beliefs, to go out into the world and observe. It wouldn’t surprise me if he made some acquaintances, perhaps some friends. To an extent, his bearishness would have protected him from aggressive come-ons; it’s an acquired taste, to my mind. That protection, in turn, helped him to be more comfortable as an “inside observer.” (It would be very interesting to have a hot and hunky straight guy try this same experiment, then compare notes with Mr. Kurek.) If the book ever comes out, I’ll be interested to read it and learn how he feels bearing the label of gay impacted his life. Given some friends who were accidentally outed, I could make some predictions. But that didn’t happen in Nashville.

  58. Happy says

    Does there exist a gay newspaper that doesn’t kiss ass? Better love everyone like Mr. Roberts, or you don’t exist. This isn’t a real news source, It’s getting a bit Huffington Post like with its’ editing. I guess a picture of a hunky dead guy is worth more than an honest critique of a living one. Honesty is not a policy.

  59. says

    I feel my family has been invaded and exploited.

    As I told every straight MOTOS who came onto me in my younger years: “I’m not going to be your experiment.” (OK, OK, that was after I made the mistake of sleeping with the first few — but I quickly realized my dignity is worth far more than being somebody’s f-puppet solely for their “experimentation.”)

    Mr. Kurek played a funny game with his family, his str8 friends, and with a community that accepted him for who he said he was, presumably trusted him, and which has now learned that it was all just an “experiment.”

    Did Mr. Kurek ever consider what might have happened if some man had fallen in love with him (fake beard “boyfriend” or none)? The game wouldn’t have been so funny then.

    I don’t think Mr. Kurek has learned the most important lesson of all: We are not bugs under a glass put on earth solely for his edification (or book sales). How… arrogant. How solipsistic!

    In the meantime, because of the novelty of Mr. Kurek’s little “experiment” (and his endless interviews with everyone who will give him the time of day right up until the date of his book release), HIS voice will drown out the voices of those of us who really have suffered the lifelong pain he had the privilege of sloughing off after one lousy year — and the voices of those of us who have spent our lives telling our very real stories.

    No sale here, Timmy. If you really wanted to understand, if you wanted to be an ally, you could have just LISTENED to us. You could have lived amongst the LGBT community as a str8 man, honestly eager and anxious to learn. Hell, I would have befriended you — but only as YOU, not as some “drag” version of you. (“Jesus In Drag” — gawd almighty, the title alone is insulting.)

    Now, you’re just… like the Great White Hope that appears in so many movies who comes along to “save” the poor black folks who don’t seem to have a voice of their own. Well, guess what? They have a voice — but not many people are listening. And that “voice” the white character lends to the story is as counterfeit as that of…

    …well, as that of a str8 man congratulating himself for becoming so evolved by gaining the trust of, and then betraying, a community that has had more than its fill of infiltrators, liars, and players.

    “Black Like Me” was more than 50 years ago. “Immersion journalism” (if you can call this “journalism”) was about the only option there was… 50 years ago. Now, it’s not necessary. Now, you can’t throw a rock (or post a blog comment) without hitting somebody who would have been more than happy to take Mr. Kurek on a tour of our world.

    If only you had done that, Mr. Kurek — ASKED the LGBT community to help you, and then gotten to know us as living, breathing, joyful, hurting individuals… as YOURSELF.

    No sale, Timmy. No sale.

  60. noteasilyoffended says

    Geeze. Some folks here read one article and see one interview and think they have it all figured out. Let it go. I also feel it was unfair for him to tell his family that his experience was an experiment. How supportive would they have been if they thought he was actually gay? But let’s look at his stated purpose and what good could come from his attempt. I’m not saying this isn’t a little odd, but let’s see how it turns out. And then let’s talk about all the judgment in these comments. You judge people, you get judged (for being “bitchy”, in this case). (in others’ words, not mine) Just look how people react to you after your judgmental comments here.

Leave A Reply