Actor Ezra Miller: ‘I’m Queer’


Actor Ezra Miller, who played Tilda Swinton's son Kevin (above) in We Need to Talk About Kevin, and plays a gay character in the upcoming Perks of Being a Wallflower, comes out of the closet in an interview with OUT:

“I’m queer. I have a lot of really wonderful friends who are of very different sexes and genders. I am very much in love with no one in particular. I’ve been trying to figure out relationships, you know? I don’t know if it’s responsible for kids of my age to be so aggressively pursuing monogamous binds, because I don’t think we’re ready for them. The romanticism within our culture dictates that that’s what you’re supposed to be looking for. Then [when] we find what we think is love — even if it is love — we do not yet have the tools. I do feel that it’s possible to be at this age unintentionally hurtful, just by being irresponsible — which is fine. I’m super down with being irresponsible. I’m just trying to make sure my lack of responsibility no longer hurts people. That’s where I’m at in the boyfriend/girlfriend/zefriend type of question.”


  1. reality says

    The movie “We need to talk about Kevin” left my roommate and I completely emotionally drained … which is what it was supposed to do! Great acting, can’t wait to see where his career leads.

  2. Alex says

    self-identifying as queer is not the same as “coming out of the closet.” many queers are suspicious of positioning the closet as an epistemic register.

  3. says

    I, for one, am SHOCKED that someone found his sociopathic murderous character “irritatingly unlikeable”.

    I mean, I suppose we like our sibling-and-father-and-classmate murdering youth sociopaths to be warmer and more ingratiating, eh? 😉


  4. kaccompany says

    He makes really interesting choices when it comes to roles/films… not unlike Ryan Gosling did at an early age. Anything he’s in is probably worth seeing… he was stellar in Afterschool.

  5. bcarter3 says

    The Out article is little more than a long series of spoilers for the film. Don’t read it unless you plan to skip the movie, because it gives away virtually all of the plot.

    Really unprofessional pieced of writing.

  6. Alex says

    @ Ryan: you’re right, I should have been clearer — thanks! I didn’t mean “suspicious” in that queers don’t think the closet exists — a lot of early queer theory talks about the regime of the “open secret” and it’s accompanying contradictory rules, binarisms, etcetera, but a lot of effort is put toward resisting them, deconstructing them. So, one’s self-identifaction as queer would not necessarily be framed in terms of “coming out” as it may reinforce that which one seeks to deconstruct. Sorry, you probably are familiar with this stuff and I don’t mean to be pedantic!

  7. says

    @kacompany I mostly agree but I can’t say Ryan Gosling made the same choices at his age. Gosling spent the better part of his early career firmly in the clutches of Disney. I wouldn’t really call “Breaker High” or “Young Hercules” television worth seeing.

  8. Caliban says

    The “…Kevin” movie was good but the book was truly excellent, very detailed and building slowly, to an ending more thought provoking than the film.

    After seeing the movie I looked up Ezra Miller and his career really started with singing opera as a child. He’s in an indie band now which, though not my cup of tea, is interesting. In an interview when the film was released he made a comment about “happy ending” sleep-overs he’d had with other boys growing up so this wasn’t entirely out of left field.

    I see actors like him as the anti-Zac Efron/Justin Bieber etc., not a product (at least not yet) but someone who wants to take interesting roles, build their cred on work instead of lunchbox sales.

  9. ratbastard says

    OK, I checked his wiki page. Ezra comes from a very nice and privileged upper middle class NJ town, and his mom and dad are both ‘professionals’ [father executive at Walt Disney book publishing, mom a modern dancer]. Ezra needless to say has befitted greatly from dad and mom’s connections and $. If some wonder why it seems the same old,same old always seem to get to the top in the entertainment industry or arts, it’s called nepotism.

    Yes, this is a mean spirited post. Nothing personal, Ezra.

  10. Dan says

    I have no respect for any gay person who calls himself “queer.” No matter how sophisticated and postmodern he thinks he is being, he is really denigrating himself. And the “ze-friend” thing is beyond ridiculous.

    Hopefully, he’ll come to see the “queer” phenomenon as the shallow, hipster-ish, stale-20-years-ago,self-abuse that it is.

  11. GregV says

    “I have no respect for any gay person who calls himself “queer.””

    @Dan: I don’t assume he’s gay (and, in fact, his full statement would seem to suggest otherwise).
    When I hear someone self-describe as “queer”, I tend to think it means something like “radically anti-establishment” or “radically different from the norm” around sexuality (identity, orientation or both).
    But it doesn’t really tell me if they are gay, straight, bi, (or pansexual or trisexual if such terms are usable) or trans or intersexed or rejecting any type gender and/or sexual orientation labels.
    I don’t like the term “queer” at all, but I know that some people choose to use it; when they do use it, it only means whatever that individual thinks it means but it doesn’t clarify anything about them to me as the listener.

  12. jexer says

    He was fun to watch in “City Island”, and excellently creepy in ‘… Kevin’. Definitely looking forward to seeing him in more things.

    To younger guys ‘queer’ doesn’t have the ‘radical nelly’ connotation it might for older guys. To younger guys it means ‘freaky/different/non-mainstream’ maybe even ‘kinky/fetishy’. “Gay” has become kind of normal/mainstream and sometimes implies things that kids who identify as ‘queer’ don’t feel fits them.

  13. Dback says

    I don’t give a damn if he’s gay, straight, bi, queer, whatever–I just want him to stop smirking so much when he’s supposed to be acting. His performance in “We Need To Talk About Kevin” (admittedly a terrible movie across the boards, despite Tilda Swinton’s valiant efforts) was broadly hammy, and the snippets I’ve seen of him in the trailer for “The Perks of Being A Wallflower” have him hammering home every line like an amateur. (I did like him in “City Island,” so there’s hope.)

  14. says

    I’ve been self-identifying as Queer, as well as gay, for years. It’s empowering.
    From a different point of view, unique, unusual, not common.

    It’s not self-abuse to find strength in not blending in :)

  15. Jack says

    Dan, the fact that you claim to have no respect for anyone who calls themselves “queer” shows you to be *really* narrow-minded and ignorant.
    Are you not aware that there is just as much variety and difference amongst people who identify as queer, as there is amongst those who identify as “gay”, “lesbian”, “bisexual” or “straight”. There are “queer” folk who are rich, poor, white, black, Asian, conservative, liberal, serious, carefree, young, old, etcetera, etcetera.
    You not liking the word and/or its connotations is a problem that *you* need to deal with, because no-one else is going to bother accommodating your prejudice(s). And until another word comes along that means “not conforming to acceptable, or currently available, categories of identity”, then people will continue to use “queer” and the number of people using “queer” will continue to grow :)

  16. Gigi says

    Did he talk to Grand Dame Rupert Everett first? It seems not. Perhaps he had a tête à tête with Zachary Qunito. This can only be a good thing.

    Now I’ve got to go and find this Kevin moive…

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