Comments

  1. Jack M says

    It’s a shame how this man holds his son hostage to his own beliefs, and it’s a shame how the son has to rationalize what he father is doing by not accepting him fully. Conditional love, isn’t it great?

  2. Mike says

    Sorry chap, but it sounds like you have horrible parents. A reasonable parent would do anything to make life a little easier, fair and just for their offspring. Looks as if mom is too busy wrapped up in religious dogma and dad is pandering to bigots.

  3. shane says

    The voices of his AZ constituents are louder in his head than the love for his son. Pure and simple. These are people who have forgotten their moral core, their compass, their guiding principles. Or never had much strength in them to begin with. Best of luck swimming upstream, Salmons.

  4. Bart says

    I don’t doubt that Matt Salmon loves his son. But this isn’t about Matt Salmon or his son. This is about a man making law in a country where when we place our hand over our heart and Pledge Allegiance to our flag whether we actually mean “liberty and justice for ALL.”

    The concept about love doesn’t enter into the conversation when there are legal definitions to the TJ marriage in this country. Get rid of all the legal benefits of marriage or actually accept that we are all supposed to have equal rights in this country and give them to all. It is that simple.

  5. andrew says

    Matt R: Your father “accepts your desire to be with the man you love”. Really? Isn’t it as long as you don’t get uppity and think that you are the equal of heterosexuals? Don’t accept second class status Matt. Demand equality.

  6. Chris says

    So I suppose we never should have ended slavery since that too was a tradition for thousands of years? Actually, it’s possible that slavery has been around since the dawn of mankind. But yet we did away with that.

    It was also common to think that the world was flat or that the sun orbits around us, but we abandoned that mindset too.

    The gay republicans are useless trash. The vast majority of minds that have been changed have not been changed because of them. Sorry. Not sorry. It’s just the truth.

  7. CAM says

    Let’s take the spotlight off of their family, where it certainly doesn’t belong, and focus on the Mr. Salmon’s public policy. Honestly, I’m ashamed at that we’ve made a story out them. I’m also saddened that he used his son as an example in his political career. And good for Salmon the Younger (too much GOT?) for sticking up for his dad, even when he doesn’t agree.

  8. Strepsi says

    WHERE THE F*** do these politicians get the idea that what “their idea” of “what marriage means to them” has ANYTHING to do with the civil rights of citizens?

    Matt, what marriage means to your father is irrelevant. You do have the same civil rights as other tax-paying adult citizens. Period.

  9. Bosie says

    Silly guy, your father doesnt love you unconditionally and he doesnt seem to care about your true happiness. HIS IDIOLOGIES and bigotry get on the way on loving his son. sad because youobviously love him but it isnt mutual. sad sad sad for the politician.

  10. Mercedes says

    I find this situation very hard breaking for the son. I mean how do you reconcile this? I pray that this family finds peace. It must be hard to find a family issue like this thrust into the spotlight. Not only do you have to deal with how your family makes you feel but also with what the public thinks you should feel and how you should be reacting to it. I think this guy must be feeling a lot of pressure.

  11. kodiak says

    Dad is a Mormon. He will tout the church’s party line about “gay marriage” until they are brought to court, just like with allowing black people into the church. I think they got past that biblical hurdle sometime in the late 1970’s or early 80’s. Non separation of church and state.

  12. Markt says

    Matt, you are probably paying too high a price for your parents’ “love.” Or that was my conclusion with my family. I found this quote that captures my experience:
    “Unless one says goodbye to what one loves, and unless one travels to completely new territories, one can expect merely a long wearing away of oneself.”
    – Jean Dubuffet

  13. NwYrkr says

    His Father is putting job security first, son’s life second; sounds about right for a Republican. His mother doesn’t sound like much of a picnic either. Hope his in-laws in whatever state he moves to are nicer than his own parents.

  14. HadenoughBS says

    It’s so sad when a gay child – in this case Matt Salmon – has to make excuses for one or both parents not believing in full civil rights for the child. This man is Mormon, a GOPer politician and from hugely conservative Arizona so it’s no wonder the father’s views on the GLBT community are so skewed toward homophobia. He had to be carefully taught to hate us. Apparently, he was an outstanding student and learned the hate lesson well. Good luck, Matt, living with your “loving” parents. I only wish you the best.

  15. MaryM says

    Rep Salmon hates his own child.

    He is an appaling parent and a disgrace to the human race.

    I feel very sorry for his son – it must be difficult to accept that your parent hates you.

  16. kdknyc says

    I feel bad about the son, and think that daddy may have done one of those “if you love me you’ll do this” manipulations, so he could claim that there are gay people who agree with his bigoted views. It’s one of those “some of my best friends are…” kinds of things.

    The son could have just been quiet on the matter, but instead chose to defend his father.

    Either he’s very insecure about his father’s love and therefore easily manipulated, or under his thumb for something like college tuition or other financial support and therefore easily manipulated. Maybe it was a situation where daddy said “do this or I’ll cut you off”. Whatever.

    Not defending the son’s choice here. Just musing as to why any self-respecting gay person could defend this. But it appears that he’s NOT a self-respecting gay person. Sad.

  17. David says

    The religious mind, particularly a Mormon mind, is completely closed. I’m not surprised that the kid isn’t bothering with trying to change his father. Some people just aren’t movable.

  18. stranded says

    I find this really sad too. I understand that some people evolve more slowly than we’d like, but this guy isn’t making policy just for his family. He’s hinging the lives of others on his cowardice to truly believe in civil law. Religion is a blinder that puts sex phobia above all else.

  19. Markt says

    I disagree with the tone of most of the comments here. Matt does a good job of balancing his needs with the offensive and dysfunctional needs of his parents. In one way or another most of us have to do that if we’re going to maintain a relationship with our families. I am totally impressed with what he does in that video. Although, as I said above, he may be paying too high a price by maintaining his connection with loved-ones who are not fully on his side. Having made a different decision, he’s doing an incredible job.

  20. Kieran says

    Another example of how It Gets Better videos became less about reaching out to someone, and more about a cry for attention. If it gets better, why does he sound so miserable and depressed?

    This is another example of Mormon brainwashing. Their conditional love is not worth it. What a sad young man. Thier church is more imporatant to them then he is.

  21. Dw says

    The tone of most of these posts is out of line. The son is in a difficult spot here and handling it as best he can.
    But – posts that explain the fathers position based solely on religion ignore that Jon huntsman has come out in favor if gay marriage. Mormon politicians aren’t 100% monolithic.

  22. says

    If both son and father are Mormons , it is hardly surprising that they have to be submissive to the promulgated current beliefs of Mormons ,one man and only one woman ( at this time).

    But if you are a member of a Club ( which is what Mormonosm is) which got its beliefs from Gold Plates which then disappeared and you still have to don Magic Underwear and have magic rituals which make the Free Masons look like adults, it’s not surprising that a son who wants to continue to be in the rich man’s club will accept second class citizenship.

  23. Kevin says

    Matt’s already paid a price in a way. He and Kent Flake(cousin of Jeff Flake) are no longer dating and it’s sadly not hard to see why.
    Kent is comfortable with who he is and wasn’t willing to stick around for Matt to do the same.

  24. MiddleoftheRoader says

    There is MUCH MORE to this story. Everyone needs to read the Phoenix New Times (PNT) article from Sept 16, 2010 called “Over the Rainbow” (available online – Google it). This is a young man who really still cannot accept who he is, regardless of what he now says.

    1) When he started dating Kent Flake (2nd cousin of Sen. Jeff Flake), and his parents met Kent, he told PNT “They think he’s an awesome person. They just don’t like me being in a gay relationship. They don’t like that we’re together.” And also “You’re fine, we love you, but your partner’s not welcome because we don’t want gay around us”. SO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MARRIAGE – his family did not even want him in any gay relationship and did not allow him to bring his partner to their home.

    2) His mother led the local chapter of United Families First, which tried to pass a law in AZ that would outlaw same-sex marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships. As the PNT article points out, the son VOTED FOR this anti-gay law in 2006 (but apparently changed his mind when another anti-gay law came up in 2007).

    3) In the PNT article, he admits that he went to “reparative therapy” to turn him straight — but it didn’t work. He doesn’t condemn it, but only seems wistful that it really didn’t change him.

    4) As for his father’s anti-gay voting record, he said “It really doesn’t hurt me” and “I’m not offended at all”. REALLY? As a gay person, you are not “hurt” or “offended” by your father’s anti-gay votes? So do the anti-gay votes of others also not “hurt” or “offend” him?

    Anyway, read the PNT article. This is a very, very pitiful person.

  25. R-E-S-P-E-C-T says

    It’s a tough position the young man is in, but as gently as I can say this, he’s in denial about the degree of respect his father has for him. When someone doesn’t regard you as deserving of the same rights they have, there’s no way you have their full respect. If they love you, like a parent would, they may condescend to you, but they don’t consider you their equal. And that’s really NOT respect.

  26. Mitch says

    Somehow I don’t think a parent being willing to vote for laws against you is “loving unconditionally”.

    Matt, it sure seems like you are being far more generous with your parents than they are being with you.

  27. says

    It’s textbook. And too sad for words. Not love, not acceptance. Tolerance, pithy tolerance, on the condition that he never stand up for himself like those “leftist gay agenda gays.”

    There’s the Mormon Factor – daddy can’t support his son because it will affect his standing in the church, and that means it’ll affect what sort of star-planet with concubines and servants he gets on the Other Side. *i’m sorry, i just mentally vomited at having to process that*
    Then there’s the GOP angle – “Don’t worry, I won’t let my f@g son’s f@ggottry affect you good Christian Americans”

    What kind of It Gets Better video is that, anyway? “Don’t worry, it gets better! As long as you regurgitate your parents bigotry, they’ll treat you almost as an equal!”

    FAIL.

    Incidentally, it seems like gays like Matt Jr are the reason the GOP doesn’t support LGBT Equality – these are, after all, the gays that they “know” and are “friends with” and are. yes, related to. And they’re not able to stand up for themselves. They don’t respect themselves. At all. You can’t be a doormat and then wonder why you’re not being treated as an equal. You’re the reason you’re not being treated as an equal.

    I have complete sympathy for LGBT people who get born into families as obviously bigoted, prejudiced, closed-minded and obsessed with “what others think” as the Salmons’. But this guy is not a kid. He’s not some at-risk teen who has to live under his parent’s roof. He’s an adult. Who continues to choose to support a political system, and a cultural one, that is the very reason for his family’s lack of love for him. So, the sympathy ends there. At this point, he’s the reason life is hard for guys like him.

  28. says

    it’s that struggle – Jr wants us to understand his dad, but we DO undestand his dad. his dad doesn’t understand how a gay couple marrying isn’t something that actually affects his life. he can still hold the OPINION that marriages between gays are “wrong” or not real – just like he thinks Non-Mormons are going to be his servants in the afterlife.

    this sad sad story is the embodiment of the Stockholm Syndrome that makes up the life of the Gay Republican. When you’re withheld love by your own family, the tiniest shred of tolerance seems like a feast of affection. vomit.

  29. says

    dear gays in similar situations, if your father slapped you in the face every time you saw him, what would you do about it?

    why, then, are so many of us so willing to accept emotional and psychological abuse from family members?

    i think too many gay people think that it’s about us getting our families to love and accept us – try to remember that as an adult you can turn the tables. let your family know that their prejudice not only has hurt you, but that it’s diminished your respect for them. that you have no room in your life for people who cannot see you as an equal. change doesn’t come if you give it no reason to.

  30. Sins of the Father says

    Too sad for words. Compare this dad with Magic Johnson’s actions as a father.

    Paradox: I know a lot of religious people trash Magic for being promiscuous as a young man, and blame him for what happened. But look at what it made him.

    Then look at how Salmon is regarded as a fine upstanding family man, man of the church, and politician. And look at the disgracefully abusive way he treats his son.

    So sad it puts my stomach in knots.

    I’m going to admit something embarrassing about myself here–I was initially turned off by EJ’s affect. But he looks sooo much more comfortable with himself and confident with who he is, that he’s a lot easier to admire than this poor Salmon kid who’s been whipped into submission by his abusive family. Bless the young Salmon’s heart. May he one day find the love and acceptance that EJJohnson has. And it will probably have to come from outside his family.

  31. Rickie says

    Mormonism is the last religion that can credibly insist that 2,000 years of “tradition” be followed.

    Just sayin’, Mormon hypocrisy is a level of delusion in it’s very own class, and most Mormons are a hopeless tangle of unresolved and idiotic contradictions. They make Catholics look almost well adjusted.

  32. coexxi says

    I hope he finds the strength to stand up to them or at least leave that place. These parents are hurting their child with their actions every day and they don’t seem to understand it.

  33. Isaac says

    I understand that he wants to defend his daddy but he shouldn’t be suprised that the LGBT community is condemning him. His dad is a politician who actively works as an enemy to civil rights. You cannot tolerate people who believe you are less deserving of your rights. You should not tolerate those who treat you as a second class citizen. So basically this bigot and his bigot defending son can go to hell.

  34. kedskicks says

    It is very unnerving to read his words. I feel sorry for this guy. He seems to be tying himself in knots convincing himself that his father supports him and is his best friend. He looks miserable.

    “It has nothing to do with the way he views a person’s relationship, and that’s the thing that I think is hard for people to understand.”

    No. It has everything to do with how he views a person’s relationship. That’s what you are failing to accept. Your father is a bigot.

  35. Chitown Kev says

    want to think more about this but I will say this…

    That is his father and Matt salmon has a far deeper tie with that man than with this community that, more often than not, doesn’t even support their own.

    The community could be all things to matt salmon but you can’t break his kin ties (esp. considering how powerful his dad is).

  36. Mario says

    The kid has a bigger heart than his father; he’s basically okay with sacrificing 1000s of civil laws/rights in order to show support for his father, a man who doesn’t believe his son should have the same civil rights as he does. I find that quite sad. I think the son missed the point to the “It Gets Better” campaign. It gets better because we are fighting the policies his father supports. Is this the reversed version of “love the sinner, hate the sin”? #ridiculous

  37. Hagatha says

    I find mormons to be especially stupid people. Not only do we know who the scam artist was who invented LDS, but it’s glaringly obvious that he made it up out of borrowed whole cloth. The premise of the LDS church is that the American Indians killed off the rather Saxon-like ancient Hebrews who had come to the Americas. Of course, there is no evidence of this whatsoever but that doesn’t stop these idiots from repeating it.

    BTW- You have to love southern Mormons. I was driving by their house one day when they were drying the magic underwear on the front porch.

  38. Hagatha says

    BTW, In case we have some smarty pants here who thinks that all of this can be taken care of with contracts – WRONG. Ask any gay attorney about the cases where parents of the deceased partner have overturned wills and directives, seized bank accounts, forced the sale of homes, had a partner locked out of a business, etc…

  39. JoeL says

    What a dysfunctional mess. I’ve tried to muster up sympathy for the son, Matt R. Salmon, however, the more he defends his father’s bigotry and tries to convince us of their genuine love for each other the less I feel compassion for his situation.

    Generally, I believe it’s a personal journey when a family member comes out – unfortunately, the father, mother and son have all made political careers out of harming the LGBT community- and have taken a normally personal situation and made it very public.

    First of all, Rep. Matt J. Salmon can’t have it both ways by saying: “I love my son more than I can say,” and then defend laws that deny his son equal rights. A truly loving father would not do that- so he should just be honest and match his words with his actions—his love is conditional and he believes that his son by virtue of his being gay doesn’t deserve equal rights and protections under the law. In addition, his mother has spent years trying to harm and destroy LGBT families. Since she has waged a very public anti-gay campaign if she has had a mea culpa moment for her past actions then she owes the public her change of mind if she has had one. Since we haven’t heard her defend her son’s right for marriage equality it’s safe to assume she hasn’t evolved either. Finally, perhaps the most telling part of this mess is that Matt has been involved with the Log Cabin Republicans. I can’t imagine the level of shame and self-loathing required to support, defend, and fund-raise for a political organization that is bent upon destroying the lives of gays. Until Matt is prepared to hold his parents accountable for their anti-gay actions there will be no evolution on anyone in that family.

  40. BobN says

    “Matt R. Salmon, a former president of Arizona Log Cabin Republicans who once dated the second cousin of U.S. Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.,) defended his father against criticism from those within the LGBT community whom he describes as “incredibly intolerant.” He said the congressman received “a lot of hateful comments” on his Facebook page after the interview aired.”

    Pretty much says it all. I hope the trust fund is worth it.

  41. Tyler says

    Personally I’m sick of gay republicans saying that the gay community or gay liberals are “intolerant.” But I guess if I had a family working against who I was as a human being I’d need to pretend that their hatred is love and that liberals’ championing equality are the enemy, too.
    How are we intolerant? We’re not. But he has to pretend that we are because the truth is obviously way too hard to bear.

  42. Tyler says

    Sorry for posting again, I just get so sick of this. At what point are gay republicans going to wake up? Blaming the LGBT community? Calling us intolerant? Your own stupid parents have been working to deny you your equality. All you gay republicans ever do is insult the LGBT community and distance yourselves from it, and we all know why you do, because almost every other commenter on here pointed it out. You hate the gay community because your family hates that you’re gay. This story makes me so angry. I’d be feeling sad for him if he was like 16 or something but this guy is older than me! He’s an adult!

  43. LCR Jay says

    I think it’s pretty cool that Matt is standing up for his father and not allowing outsiders to drive a wedge between them. Just because there’s no give and take in your family doesn’t mean that everyone’s family has to operate the same way. Parents and kids butt heads and are forced to agree to disagree about a myriad of personal issues. If the older Matt was as terrible as you’re all implying, he would have disowned his son, either for being gay…or for saying so out loud. They obviously agree to disagree on the issue of marriage, and aren’t willing to let that drive them apart. At the end of the day that’s still his dad…the only one he’ll ever have…and none of you random commentators can take that away from him.

  44. Bernie says

    I really hate to comment on Matt Salmon’s son who is so cute……..but he is a gay Republican with internalized homophobia……who drank the kool aid……his dad may love him, but only conditionally….

  45. Bob says

    NOT ONLY WOULD THE FATHER NOT BE RE-NOMINATED BY THE REPUBLICAN PARTY OF AZ
    IF HE DID THE RIGHT THING

    — but he would be ostracized from the mormon church and community
    — thus the son is content to accept that the father is stretching mormonity to even be glad his son found love (with other than a mormon woman).

    CONSIDERING THAT THEY ARE LIMITED BY MORMONITY HERE, I THINK THE SON HAS TRULY GOTTEN ALL THE DAD CAN GIVE

  46. Jean-Jacques Burlamaqui says

    Here are two truths regarding same-sex marriage: (1) Creating a family with another man is not completely equal to creating a family with a woman, and (2) denying children parents of both genders at home is an objective evil. Kids need and yearn for both.

  47. dms says

    Poor kid. He accepts his father’s prejudice before he’ll fight for his own equality. Like battered women who stay with their men. Brainwashed. Sad.

  48. says

    and Jr has been going on and on about the “intolerant gay community” for their response to his pathetic response.

    yeah. sure. the intolerant gay community.

    it’s textbook, brothers and sisters. this boy only finds tolerance as long as he denigrates those “other gays”.

    not something gay liberals have to do, btw.

  49. says

    actually, LCR Jay, there *is* a wedge between his father and him: anti-gay bigotry.

    Mormonism and “Republicanism” has already come between father and son, and have made it so that father doesn’t think his son is worth of Equality.

    gays and liberals are driving a wedge between them, or *trying* to – we’re pointing out that the wedge is already there.

    comparing him to parents who disown their children is a false analogy. that’s like saying “well my dad loves because because he DOESN’T beat me up”

    compare Salmon Sr. to people who are actually decent loving parents and the truth becomes clear : Salmon Sr. is a sub-par father and a bigot. Just because there are other parents who are even MORE sub-par doesn’t negate that there are a great many parents of gay people who are “at par” and above.

    of course, this is something that an “LCR” type will have to choose to willfully ignore. you dont’ wanna have to deal with your own parent’s likely mediocrity, too.

  50. Thresher says

    Wow, the level of bigotry and intolerance for traditional viewpoints among you people is astounding, but not really surprising.

    The New Left is, after all, the closest thing to a genuinely home-grown fascist movement America has ever seen. Not surprising most of you are Democrats, you fit right in.

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