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Five Outlandish Moments From 'Princesses: Long Island'

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There’s a very specific type of non-competition Bravo reality show that chronicles the truly insufferable. Among the usual stories of excess and big personalities are unique studies of characters that are so widely unappealing, it’s a wonder they ever make it to air.  

Don’t get us wrong, many (some might say most) Bravo reality shows feature characters who are some combination of out of touch, overindulgent or obnoxious (or, in the case of The Real Housewives of Miami’s Lea Black, all three). However, most series redeem themselves with even-tempered charmers (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Lisa Vanderpump), self-aware quipsters (Flipping Out’s Jeff Lewis) or deliciously compelling drama (season one of The Real Housewives of New Jersey).

Then there are shows like NYC Prep and Gallery Girls, which appear to exist solely to showcase the utterly detestable. 

I’ll let you guess how to best categorize Princesses: Long Island, which wraps its first (and, please, let it be only) season Sunday on Bravo. 

Although the ladies of Long Island aren’t the most likable, their adventures have been compulsively watchable. After having spent the last several weeks following Amanda, Casey, Chanel, Erica, Joey and (especially) Ashlee as they exist in a world largely devoid of any real consequence or personal responsibility, the epic meltdown that appeared in last Sunday’s penultimate episode was immensely gratifying. It may go down in history as one of television’s most satisfying sources of schadenfreude ever (trailing just behind Alexis Neiers’ sobbing voicemail fiasco on E!‘s Pretty Wild). 

Get acquainted with this summer’s best show to hate-watch below. We’ve collected some of this season’s most outlandish moments before Sunday’s finale, so you’ll know what everyone is kvetching about come Monday morning.

More, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Ashlee’s Premiere Pedicure

Right from the beginning, Ashlee rocketed ahead as the most aggressively unlikable character of this bunch. Her proudly-pampered lifestyle was on display when she went for a pedicure with her father in the first episode. Not only did it culminate with Ashlee’s refusal to walk in anything other than heels, but then she demanded to be carried out of the salon by an employee (see photo at the top of the post). 

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Casey Confronts Erica

The most fascinating (and tragic) aspect of Princesses is the persistence of their high-school past. For a group of girls in their late-twenties and early-thirties, there is an awful lot of talk about their teenage years. Never was that more at the forefront than when Casey breaks down while confronting Erica about sleeping with her boyfriend when she was 16

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Fighting Over Facebook 

Sure, holding a grudge over a high school romance for more than 10 years sounds petty, but that’s nothing compared to the screaming match -- complete with gay slurs -- that erupted over who was Facebook friends with Amanda’s boyfriend.

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Defiling A 9/11 Memorial Statue

In true reality fashion, some of the girls have completely unnecessary product lines, including Amanda’s “Drink Hanky.” (It’s like a sock for your cup.) To promote the product, she went on a “spontaneous” photoshoot that incorporated a 9/11 memorial statue of a firefighter in a less than respectful way.

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Get Your Dukes Up

It was a perfect Princesses storm. The typically tolerable Chanel was embroiled in an argument with a guest at a party celebrating Amanda’s “Drink Hanky.” When Joey ignored Ashlee’s commands, it triggered a second shouting match. For some reason, it's Joey's use of the phrase "Mama Dukes" that really sets Ashlee off. It’s here that the seeds of the fight from last Sunday’s breakdown were first sown.

Which Princess: Long Island moments made you cringe?

 

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Comments

  1. OK, so let me admit that I don't watch much TV to begin with (and it's not an "it's beneath me" attitude - there are just other things I'd rather be doing). That said, I absolutely don't get why people watch stuff like this.

    Posted by: Butch | Jul 31, 2013 3:31:01 PM


  2. I watch a disgusting amount of television.

    This is "beneath me."

    Posted by: Mikey | Jul 31, 2013 3:32:42 PM


  3. Ashlee asking her father if he could get her a jet or something to come pick her up from the vineyard(which I found out is only 17 miles away from her house), after the bulldogs(Joey, the cracked out girl, and the bug eyed one) went after a teacup yorkie(Ashlee). And Ashlee wonders why she's single. Ashlee just needs to marry her father.

    Posted by: Omar | Jul 31, 2013 3:51:10 PM


  4. If we're admitting all throughout the post that these series are "so widely unappealing", then why are we covering them here?

    Just because some gay men (like all people) happen to watch trash TV, it doesn't make trash TV gay news.

    Posted by: Jacob W | Jul 31, 2013 4:06:40 PM


  5. To Bobby (the author): If you want these types of shows to disappear, don't write a long article filled with links back to Bravo. That's one of the ways these shows measure popularity.

    Posted by: alex | Jul 31, 2013 4:13:45 PM


  6. A photo essay about a series' highlights? There's this new thing called the Internet. It allows you to post videos.

    Posted by: Jeff | Jul 31, 2013 4:14:20 PM


  7. @Jeff: Unfortunately, embedding was disabled on those videos. I've linked to each video clip throughout the post, if you're looking to watch them. Thanks!

    Posted by: Bobby | Jul 31, 2013 4:32:20 PM


  8. Poor Bobby. Poor, clueless Bobby.

    In the words of Nina Garcia:

    "How unfortunate."

    Posted by: johnny | Jul 31, 2013 4:33:53 PM


  9. Go on Bobby, sometimes we all need mindless fun in our lives. Thank you for the post.

    Posted by: Omar | Jul 31, 2013 4:36:18 PM


  10. What does this crap have to do with being gay? Is there nothing else to occupy print space than this trash?

    Posted by: Bart | Jul 31, 2013 5:19:08 PM


  11. This show would really be fun if the got eaten by sharks or slaughtered by a serial killer.

    Posted by: jaragon | Jul 31, 2013 6:08:25 PM


  12. Why promote Bravo on Towleroad? It's not a very gay-inclusive channel. Air-head female attention wh'ores don't appeal to me as a gay man. Flush Bravo down the toilet.

    Posted by: Adam | Jul 31, 2013 6:49:20 PM


  13. If you love these JAP girls check out the interview I did with them last night. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-SLD-b2mDg&feature=youtu.be

    Posted by: Zach Garner | Jul 31, 2013 10:47:19 PM


  14. I don't know why I'm fascinated by these girls also. And I'm not a Housewives watcher either.

    Posted by: Luke | Aug 1, 2013 8:14:30 AM


  15. @adam - actually, bravo is pretty gay-inclusive. almost every show has at least one gay character - most of whom are not super "stereotypcial". That said, I don't know why the hell the writer of this piece would call Lisa Vanderpump an even-temprered charmer. I'd call her a pompous, out-of-touch self-promoting bi-atch!

    Posted by: dredmond | Aug 1, 2013 2:56:35 PM


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