Meet An ‘Ex-Gay’ Who Says She Made A ‘Covenant With Satan': VIDEO

Debra Gauthier

With bans on "ex-gay" therapy for minors making their way into the law books in California and New Jersey, the topic of "ex-gays" and "conversion therapy" is being revisited with renewed vigor. While bodies such as the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association dismiss conversion therapy as ineffective and potentially harmful, advocates use testimonies from "ex-gays" such as Debra Gauthier. Gauthier's story was recently featured on an episode of Pat Robertson's show The 700 Club, and perpetuates many of the myths surrounding the origins of homosexuality. 

"I had bought the lie,” she said in an on-camera interview. “There was a lot of inner turmoil going on, there was something about that that is not right, it’s not natural." According to the video, it was Gauthier's abusive father who supposedly made her a lesbian. It claims that her abusive relationship with her father caused her to become "afraid of men," therefore causing her to turn to women for the love and support that she needed. After living in a lesbian relationship for many years, Gauthier then turned to Christianity to help her cope with a demotion at her job as a Las Vegas police officer. It was then that she realized that she had a "choice" about her sexuality. 

"And I read that homosexuality is sin, it's not God's design, and I was in shock. I'm like, 'what? You mean I'm not born this way? I had bought the lie.  I bought that I was born that way. It was some genetic thing and this was just how I was created."

Bright Lights Dark PlacesGauthier makes no mention of Satan in her video interview. Instead, the outrageous claim comes from her book, Bright Lights, Dark Places. The book's cover claims to tell the story of the pioneer first woman on the Las Vegas police force. Unfortunately, it includes a bit of radical ex-gay propaganda. Right Wing Watch lifted an excerpt from the book, in which she claims that she made a "covenant with Satan" during a same-sex wedding ceremony, and that she dated her lesbian partner, a "practicing witch", until Gauthoer "saw the demon in her". 

"Our ceremony was led by a gay male priest and a women priestess. We lit candles and performed cultic rituals, and I sensed the darkness around us. I had no idea that I had just entered into covenant with Satan and opened my life up to the demonic realm…

"In my pursuit of spirituality, I became more aware of the demonic realm and began to struggle with fear. I found myself blinded by my own darkness as I opened my soul up more and more to Satan, who masquerades as an angel of light.

"As I got deeper into spiritualism, a gift of discerning spirits was activated in me. At the time I was dating Diana, a practicing witch whom I had met at a New Age conference. Diana introduced me to demon worship and a new level of darkness. One evening as she began to seduce me, my spiritual eyes were opened, and I saw the demon in her sneering back at me. It horrified me! I jumped up, quickly got dressed, and ran out of there. This was the beginning of the blinders coming off my eyes and the exposure of the present dark kingdom of which I was very much a part."

Gauthier also claims in her book that she was aided in her ex-gay revelation by Exodus International, the now-defunct ex-gay ministry group that subsequently closed its doors and apologized to the LGBT community.

Watch Gauthier's interview with The 700 Club AFTER THE JUMP


  1. TampaZeke says

    Too bad there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that this wackadoo will be ex-crazy. It sounds like she has a wild imagination. Probably a byproduct of her schizophrenia.

  2. Steve says

    Religion poisons everything

    But remember that fundamentalist Christians frequently make stuff up, so they can have a more outrageous “testimony” than the person before them. People with normal problems and lives just aren’t well regarded.

  3. Jay Dwyer says

    Nice to see an abusive father making demands on her can be replaced by abusive strangers demanding the same thing.

    How sad for her that she saw abuse as an impulse for same-gender attraction…and what’s worse…she continues to see abuse as the only means in which she can live her life.

  4. Zeta says

    “According to the video, it was Gauthier’s abusive father who supposedly made her a lesbian. It claims that her abusive relationship with her father caused her to become “afraid of men,” therefore causing her to turn to women for the love and support that she needed. ”

    That actually sounds legit.

  5. Bernie says

    and even though Christina O’Donnell is not a lesbian or ex-gay, this woman sure has the crazy feel and sound of Mr. O’Donnell in talking about witchcraft…..this woman’s story is so fake and fictional…..she needs serious psychiatric help

  6. Gregory In Seattle says

    @Bob Hope – I know that there are a very tiny number of hard-core Freudians who will say that homosexuality is a mental disorder that can be “cured” through psychotherapy, but I’ve never seen any organization along the lines of a secular Exodus International.

    Most ex-gay ministries will try to front as secular groups in order to defraud the government, but they will still hold that religious belief and adherence to religious dogma are necessary for any kind of conversion to occur. They frequently do this by disguising themselves as a 12 step program with belief in a “higher power.”

  7. woodroad34 says

    “Are there any “ex-gays” who managed to turn heterosexual without the “aid” of religion?”


    She was “turned” lesbian by an abusive father…then comes to the realization she wasn’t born that way…GEEZ! She just said she was turned by her abusive father…which one is it, Debra McDoofus? You were either born gay or were born heterosexual and your father “turned” you gay, in which case you aren’t ‘ex-gay’, you were ex-straight. Gurrrrl, you do, indeed, have issues–among them a lack of reasoning.

  8. Rich says

    It always fascinates me when broken people like this cling to superstations and fairy tales. This woman lives in a world of demons and deities and who knows what else to explain hers and everyone else’s existence. In some netherworld there is this presumably red guy with horns fighting the blond harp playing sub deity over who this woman sleeps with. Oh and then she gives her had earned cash to an old snake oil salesmen with a TV show. Does she ever sit back and look at herself?

  9. Zeta says

    @Woodroad34: she was confused. she wasn’t born gay, but she nurtured gay tendencies and found support and love and respect in the arms of women. kind of like young men who aren’t gay, but nurture gay tendencies because they found support in the arms of men.

    unfortunately, sometimes that support isn’t really love, it’s destructive and negative (see young men who are ‘gay’ because of really confused experiences with older men who took advantage of them).

    she is right, she was never gay. there’s nothing wrong with that. but her religion makes her feel that the love and support she did experience was evil and unnatural, and there is something wrong with that. i’d be surprised if she has normal, positive relationships with anyone after the mental wringer she’s been through her whole life.

  10. Onnyjay says

    Dumb and Dumberer. Why is T’road posting this trash? Patsy Robertson is a cadaverous conman whose shtick only works on guilt-ridden widows, and Gautier needs a new lobotomy, the first one didn’t work. I wouldn’t ever watch Robertson’s nonsense, why would I want to read about it here?

  11. Zeta says

    @Andrew, the same way atheists push themselves to something beyond eat, crap, sleep, screw die. Her’s just has a name that is not her own. It’s too bad that her ‘higher power’ is negative. They aren’t all negative.

  12. andrew says

    @ZETA: I’m not an atheist but I am convinced that all the man created gods like yahweh, allah, shiva, et al are to small, flawed and silly to be the higher power that created the splendor, vastness and magnificence of our universe. They are no more credible than the other man made gods like zeus, thor, baal et al.

  13. Geoff says

    Who says the very mentally ill cannot write books? I dare say there are quite a few, well-known writers, too, who are a bit loo-loo-la-la. Anyone who writes of ooga-booga, devils and such – is totally wacked. The children!!!

  14. johnny says

    Well, this is a perfect example of why ALL religions (the New Age stuff and the Christian stuff) are flat out silly.

    One made her see demons and the other one made her see a straight woman in the mirror. Both are idiotic.

    Just because this woman hallucinates and has paranoid fantasies doesn’t mean she’s a reliable source on sexuality or genetics.

  15. disgusted american says

    Deear Satan, Please make me like to suck and ride the cock, as opposed to muff diving and scissoring…, the dellusion of these misfits is amazing….either You ARE or AREN’T Gay…no Imaginary “being” can change that…..

  16. anon says

    For a single guy, Satan sure is busy.

    Even if we take her story at face value, it doesn’t mean that her story applies to anyone but her. Other lesbians will have different stories, etc. She shouldn’t be projecting on others.

  17. says

    I’ve noticed a pattern in ex-gays: they usually have extremely messed up childhoods involving abuse and/or molestation, and they automatically assume that their numerous issues stem from the fact that they slept with someone of the same gender, and not because they have major mental and emotional traumas they never sought professional help for. Sometimes they even blame their homosexuality for their problems even when they occurred long before they even felt attraction to a person of the same gender.

    I’d wager that a majority of these so-called ex-gays were never actually gay in the first place, and were just extremely damaged people who were desperately seeking love and emotional support from whomever they could get it from. Once they realized that they weren’t satisfied with someone of the same gender, instead of just dealing with it, they rationalize their bi-curiosity as “demon-possession” or “being seduced by Satan”, as if some invisible entity controlled their every move.

    Of course, this doesn’t actually resolve their issues, and rather than seek real help, they blame it on the “evil gays” and seek comfort in a 2000 old book about an invisible Santa Claus in the sky that will make the pain go away if you pray really, really hard enough.

  18. Jerry6 says

    What a crock of (You know what). Why does Towleroad publish trash like this? It serves no purpose whatsoever. There are enough nut cases out there now; Why give publicity to any more?

  19. Jerry6 says

    I used to look to “God” for answers to tough questions, then I learned of the “Tooth Fairy”. Her advice and counsel is so superior and satisfying that I have stopped calling “God”. (Also, the telephone charges are cheaper,too.

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