News | Wentworth Miller

Wentworth Miller Reveals He Tried to Commit Suicide as a Closeted Gay Teen: VIDEO

Miller

Wentworth Miller spoke at a Human Rights Campaign dinner in Seattle Saturday night, revealing that he tried to commit suicide multiple times because he could not handle being in the closet.

Said Miller:

"Growing up I was a target. Speaking the right way, standing the right way, holding your wrist the right way. Every day was a test and there was a thousand ways to fail...A thousand ways to portray yourself to not live up to someone else's standards of what was accepted....The first time I tried to kill myself I was 15. I waited until my family went away for the family and I was alone in the house and I swallowed a bottle of pills. I don't remember what happened over the next couple of days but I'm pretty sure come Monday morning I was on the bus back to school pretending everything was fine."

Miller said the suicide attempted was not a cry for help because "you only cry for help if there is help to cry for."

Of being gay in Hollywood, Miller confessed:

"I had multiple opportunities to speak my truth, which is that I was gay, but I chose not to. I was out privately to family and friends. Publicly, I was not. I chose to lie. When I thought about the possibility of coming out, how that might impact me and the career I worked so hard for, I was filled with fear."

He also spoke about whe he finally chose to come out via a letter declining an invitation to the St. Petersburg Film Festival, after a voice in his head told him that if it gave hope to even one person out there then it would be worth it.

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Comments

  1. A lot of homophobia is caused by women. Homophobia is worse in Hollywood because Hollywood is based on marketing male actors as completely heterosexual to women.

    Posted by: Adamn | Sep 8, 2013 11:10:56 PM


  2. When Miller came out I immediately went o_O, because I remembered him specifically denying that he was gay, and doing so in a manner that was absolutely NOT open to interpretation. He lied, deliberately, willfully, and now admittedly for the purpose of advancing his career and wealth. That was wrong, I'm happy he FINALLY acknowledged it.

    Posted by: Anon2478 | Sep 8, 2013 11:16:22 PM


  3. When Miller came out I immediately went o_O, because I remembered him specifically denying that he was gay, and doing so in a manner that was absolutely NOT open to interpretation. He lied, deliberately, willfully, and now admittedly for the purpose of advancing his career and wealth. That was wrong, I'm happy he FINALLY acknowledged it.

    Posted by: Anon2478 | Sep 8, 2013 11:16:22 PM


  4. Seems like a really great guy. I wish him all the best. But what does he mean, "The FIRST time I tried to commit suicide..."?

    Posted by: Chris | Sep 8, 2013 11:20:24 PM


  5. didn't he just say he wasn't gay? i'm confused

    Posted by: luke | Sep 8, 2013 11:22:15 PM


  6. This is not the place to deal with mommy issues, go see a therapist.

    The only power the bigots have ever had over us is in convincing us to conceal who we are.

    Take that away, and they reveal themselves for the hateful, ugly, frightened little lying POS that they are.

    It is only when we stop hiding and stop letting ourselves be conned into being ashamed of what we are that we've made progress.

    Suicide attempts are not uncommon when you live a life that's a lie.

    Posted by: Pookie | Sep 8, 2013 11:23:13 PM


  7. I am touched by his honesty. So many gay men come out and try to forget this history of deception (and trauma) that came before. I appreciate that Miller has acknowledged this very personal and painful experience. Hopefully it will help actors still in the closet, as well as anyone else struggling with these issues. This is more honesty and personal risk than we can rightfully expect from anyone (public figure or not) ... I think we should appreciate not only his presence as a now openly gay actor, but also this act of generosity in sharing the uglier parts of his story.

    Posted by: mike128 | Sep 8, 2013 11:24:26 PM


  8. The voice in his head was right - by coming out publicly, Wentworth has helped many people and started a lot of great dialogue going. Not having to hide or pretend anymore is such a beautiful feeling of peace.

    Posted by: David From Canada | Sep 8, 2013 11:45:42 PM


  9. Very, very moving. He has finally done the right thing - and perhaps will truly help someone who needs it...without even knowing that they do. Bravo.

    Posted by: Geoff | Sep 9, 2013 12:05:15 AM


  10. For those who are critical: Try some empathy. Not everyone grows up in a supportive environment. Some of us struggle. Based on the description of his childhood, it's not surprising that he denied being gay later in life.

    Much of Wentworth's story mirrors my own life. When you're taught that everything you feel is wrong, it can take a long time to repair the damage. It takes a tremendous amount of strength. What Wentworth said in the past isn't as important as the what he is doing now.

    I understand his struggle. That's why I'm so incredibly proud of what he said in this speech.

    Posted by: alex | Sep 9, 2013 12:20:52 AM


  11. Who?

    Posted by: Sargon Bighorn | Sep 9, 2013 12:38:17 AM


  12. It's troublesome that anyone would criticize him for lying over the years, mainly to protect his career. I would suggest that a very large majority of gay men and women have done the very same thing. The only difference is that we are not all actors with very public lives. Just because someone is in the public eye doesn't mean they don't have the same doubts and struggles as the rest of us. Fame doesn't make it easier to deal with the demons that have haunted us. I think this man deserves our compassion and our hope that now he lives his truth and finds a peace and happiness that we all long for.

    Posted by: Jimbo | Sep 9, 2013 1:06:46 AM


  13. So proud of him. Class Act. The world can change. And It can change for the better. Glad to have him as part of my beautiful community!

    Posted by: Josh | Sep 9, 2013 1:16:43 AM


  14. Fantastic, brave, inspiring...Confident that your act will have repercussions all over the world (if it hasn't already) ...All the best

    Posted by: jack | Sep 9, 2013 1:47:42 AM


  15. glad he's owned up to the lying denials. it's cool now, wentworth

    @sargon bighorn. is this your first time on the internet? bc the "who?" joke has been done ad nauseum. find new material.

    Posted by: gomez | Sep 9, 2013 2:51:31 AM


  16. Sargon Bighorn: Wentworth Miller. Actor, model, screenwriter, Mariah Carey video ho, etc

    Posted by: JMC | Sep 9, 2013 3:52:56 AM


  17. As well as Hollywood marketing male actors as desirable to women and straight, I think a huge part of the problem is homophobic men - most Hollywood films have a straight man as the lead, and the male audience is supposed to "identify" with him. Even if the character is straight, if the actor is gay, poor straight men will get all confused and upset by this (poor things) and not want to identify because they're afraid it'll mean they're gay too.

    It was obvious Wentworth was gay in Prison Break. Even the stories were coded so his relationship with Sarah was more brother-sister. If anything, his closeted status gave the character a good sense of angst and brooding. But I still wish he'd been able to come out.

    Posted by: Betty Treacle | Sep 9, 2013 4:25:03 AM


  18. I can totally understand how fear can grab hold of us and not let go. When someone like Wentworth works their butt off to have the career they have so-longed-dreamed-about.... and when it finally starts to happen.... I can see how anything that might cause it to falter to be seen as a huge risk not worth taking unless it's absolutely, 100% necessary.

    But then, life happens....and bit by bit, that sick feeling in the stomach starts to grow... and grow.... and grow.... until a person can't take it any longer and they simply HAVE to tell their truth.

    I applaud Wentworth for his honesty. We can debate about how long it took him or what he shoulda/coulda/woulda done. But the fact is, he is out now, and the past is the past.

    I don't think his lying necessarily caused direct harm to anyone, so I don't think he has a lot of "making up" to do. If he had caused harm, like many of the ex-gay advocates, bullies, anti-gay and closeted politicians, etc. have done .... then yes, coming out would not be enough. I would expect someone who hurt others to do what they could to repair those wounds, if possible.

    But in Wentworth's situation, that doesn't appear to be the case. He is out now.... so his past lies and mistakes are much easier forgiven. I think we can all relate to fear in our own lives. This was his experience of it. I get it.

    Wentworth, I'm proud of you. Thank you for finally taking a stand and being true to yourself. You ARE helping the world by doing so.

    Congratulations. And thank you.

    Here's to being a positive example AND flourishing in the process.

    Posted by: Marc | Sep 9, 2013 4:27:03 AM


  19. Funny reading snarky comments from closeted queens, have a secret hypocrites.Unless you came out in middle school than you were a liar too since Im sure most of you knew you werent straight by middle school.Plenty of people came out at that age despite the risks.If you have ever denied being Gay, changed pronouns when talking about a date, etc you are no different than him

    Posted by: Kelly | Sep 9, 2013 6:28:45 AM


  20. Aholes. If you have millions of 4 at stake and a professional career VERY few people attain, you'd be extremely careful and insecure,too.

    Posted by: ratbastard | Sep 9, 2013 7:49:18 AM


  21. "holding your wrist the right way." WTF?

    Posted by: MARCUS BACHMANN | Sep 9, 2013 8:08:03 AM


  22. I really can't imagine Wentworth attempting suicide. I think everyone thought he was awesome in junior high.

    Posted by: Teddy Nadell | Sep 9, 2013 9:42:11 AM


  23. Love to him. Bravo.

    Posted by: David C. | Sep 9, 2013 9:45:44 AM


  24. now THIS is what i was hoping he'd do - address the specific factors and fears that keep people from Coming Out.

    well done, brother. this was honest, and clear, and will help not only other people to Come Out, but to remind the non-gay world about the unfair pressures we of the LGBT communities are are forced into; a game of baseless unjustified rules, that we're made all-too aware of at an early age.

    his story will strike a chord with many of us; i know it very closely reflects a lot of my own experiences.

    well done, brother.

    help out. come out.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Sep 9, 2013 12:02:17 PM


  25. I never used to have celebrity crushes, but then he and Matt Bomer came along...and then they came out. Perfect examples for young and old alike. (Oh yeah, and of course hot as hell, not to mention well spoken.)

    Posted by: Paul R | Sep 9, 2013 12:26:03 PM


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