Gay Waitress and Former Marine Accused of Hoaxing Public with ‘No Tip, Offensive Note’ Story: VIDEO


Comments

  1. Paul R says

    I have no idea who is telling the truth in either case. But between this and the mangled lesbian cake story yesterday, it really hasn’t been a great couple weeks for lesbian press coverage.

  2. Tinkerbelle says

    I kind of suspected this would be the case. This was just too good a racket, too lucrative to think that attention-starved and dollar-hungry grifters would stay out of the game. The public (and sometimes, sadly, OUR public in particular) is too gullible, too in need of a feel-good, rally-’round-the-flag type story, to avoid being taken in by this kind of foolishness. People are too in need of a ‘problem’ that they can throw $5, or $10, or $20 at and think they’ve righted some wrong. It’s the secular version of the weekly religious scam where you “offer” a little conscience-easing payoff money to Jesus’ dad so you can feel better about yourself.

  3. Chris says

    And now, if true, every bigoted organization in America, is going to be using this as an example. An example of how gays are liars, deceitful, and not really the victims of discrimination. It hurts the people who really are the victims of this kind of discrimination. Think of how many have been and just never reported it, maybe because they thought that they wouldn’t be believed. Because of people like this (allegedly).

    When a straight person does something bad, it’s just because some people suck.

    But when a gay person does something bad, it’s because all gay people are bad and horrible.

    And people like this (allegedly) certainly aren’t helping to end that way of thinking.

    Ugh…..

  4. ASam says

    This incident also illustrates why we shouldn’t entrust the gays rights movement to women. Women can fake their sexuality because they don’t need to be aroused in order to have sex. Now it’s alleged that a woman lied about being attacked for her homosexuality.

    Meanwhile, GLAAD appoints a woman as its head. Go figure.

  5. JerzeeMike says

    Hmmm, I’d have to see the credit card statement. The “merchant copy” which the establishment uses to process the transaction has the nasty note & no tip on it. The “customer copy” shows the tip and total which could’ve been added after the story broke to clear their name & discredit the former Marine. Before I consider this case closed I demand to see the credit card statement.

  6. Chris says

    Hasn’t anyone ever used a credit card? The customer copy arrives blank, with the merchant copy, and is solely for your records. It proves absolutely nothing. They could have just as easily written in a $1000 tip. We’re to believe that the waitress somehow erased the tip and total?

  7. Joey Y says

    If any of the people questioning this family actually did even a cursory search, you’d see on other websites that they ALSO provided the credit card statement to the network, and actually approached the network because they were very offended by this woman’s hoax story. Sorry, but she was busted.

  8. says

    The fact that this had already happened a few weeks ago, to me indicated that it was not an original story. The pastor who didnt leave the tip because he said “why do I have to give you 18% and I only give God 10%” – that was just a few weeks ago. So, I was skeptical that this was a true story because it just sounded too much like a similar story.

    All this says, is that some people are selfish and do not respect the gay rights movement or what those before us have done to pave the way – this woman looks like she just threw us ALL under the bus for some coin and notoriety. I have a better idea, do something great with your life and be known for that. Also we’re all sick and tired of the “i voluntarily joined the military to pay off my student loans and that makes me a hero and i didnt fight for yall from my desk job at the base to be mean to me”. Sorry – I have more sympathy for homeless vets than for famewhores who didnt get one measly tip.

  9. johnny says

    Yeah, the credit card statement pretty much sinks the S.S. Lesbian Liner. And the fact that they came forward after not being necessarily named… speaks volumes.

    Ugh, way to set us back, lady.

  10. Adam says

    This is why I am always initially skeptical. This happens much too often. A few years ago it made big local news when a black woman had racist graffiti painted on her car. Turns out, she did it herself. You learn never to jump to conclusions. I’m still skeptical of the kid who said he got kicked out of his parents house and a friend was asking people to send money.

  11. JimmyD says

    Some of the hateful and nasty comments above are unnecessary… but completely expected. Because calling someone who is wrong terrible names is better than what they did wrong, how? Anyway…

    My take away from this is, well, Yay, Equality! Some Gay People are as bad as some Straight People.

  12. says

    Remember the lesbian in Missouri(?) who claimed to have been attacked in her home and had anti-gay epithets scratched on stomach (in addition to very neatly done spray-painted graffiti), then it turned out to be a hoax?

    I can think of several other instances of attention seeking behavior like this by women, but only one by a man. Believe me, I’m by NO means claiming any moral high ground for men, who get up to PLENTY of nasty cr@p on their own including lying, but I associate this particular strain of attention-seeking with women, an offshoot of Munchausen’s or Munchausen’s By Proxy.

    Or am I way off base for thinking that?

  13. Joey Y says

    Um, JimmyD, are you expecting us to praise her, or say “Oh, maybe she made an ass out of the whole LGBT community and yet we should see if she wants support!”? No. She’s a jerk.

  14. disgusted american says

    again – U just cant ERASE INK people…me thinks the customers are Pathetic LIARS!!!! ..they could easily have written 18$ on THEIR COPY…….

  15. Kevin says

    In both receipts, right after the date and time stamp (11/13 19:19), the charge of 93.55 is clearly visible. I originally doubted the story; now I am persuaded it is true.

  16. Bernie says

    This is a disturbing story; I don’t know where the truth lies, but I am hoping, the waitress did not fake this receipt…if she did, every right wing nut job will jump on this and this kind of story gives a black eye to the gay community if it is not true

  17. busytimmy says

    Hmmmm, the handwriting for the numbers in the customer copy is very different. I don’t believe the fives were written by the same person. Something is not right about this all the way around.

  18. NotSafeForWork says

    BS. That’s the customer copy and you get a TWO BLANK copies, one for you and one for the merchant. These are not carbonless copies. You can write whatever you want on either one. They simply could have written in that tip later and provided the copy. The ONLY way to verify is to provide the batch report and see what was run through or provide the credit card (or account) statement to prove the charge.

  19. Christopher says

    Sorry. I need more information to judge this. The customer lost me at the ‘I’m left-handed’ bit. I’m also left-handed and making a slash from left to right is natural and normal for me. Also, that’s how she made the top bit of her number 5s. I doubt people who have to ‘prove’ their claim with exagerated ‘evidence’.

    Also: Anyone notice how much anti-lesbian bigotry there is here? Makes me embarassed to be gay. IT’S CALLED ‘EQUALITY’, PEOPLE. GET WITH IT!!

  20. NotSafeForWork says

    @Crispy

    Not surprised at vitriol from hateful queen Towleroad posters such as you.

    Nevertheless, the linked story simply says: “They also provided a document they said was a Visa bill, which appears to indicate their card was charged for the meal plus the tip, for a total of $111.55.”

    This does not prove the charge and the story does not say if the document was verified as the actual account statement.

    You are free to believe what you want but your vile attitude isn’t needed.

  21. Homo Genius says

    This site bends over backwards to say LGBT even when there are no trans involved…

    but now she is lying and its all fake she’s now a “gay” in the headline.

    So gay seems to be reserved for negative content.

  22. Michael says

    It is unfortunate that disturbed individuals case these things all the time. Take a look at this:

    Racist E-Mail at Iowa College Is Linked to Black Student

    CHICAGO — After nearly a month of unnerving racist threats against minority students at the University of Iowa’s College of Dentistry, police arrested an unlikely suspect early Thursday: a 23-year-old African American woman in her second year at the school.

    Tarsha Michelle Claiborne of Baton Rouge, La., allegedly sent several threatening e-mail messages from a university computer–including a bomb threat that closed the college Tuesday as 30 bomb squad officers went through every locker and desk.

    The threats began the last week of March, when dental college Dean David Johnsen and several faculty members received an anonymous e-mail demanding they rid the college of its minorities. About 49 of the college’s 381 students are minorities.

    “The students should be afraid, not only for their future careers but for their lives,” the e-mail warned. “If firearms need to be used. Then the[y] will.”

    Claiborne also is accused of placing a plate of spaghetti, colored red with food dye, on the doorstep of another black student at the school, along with a note that read: “Black man’s brains.”

    Then a white lab coat was found in flames at the dental science building. Students later received e-mails that asked, “Are you going to take us seriously now?”

    She was arrested at her home after police obtained a search warrant. She confessed to the crimes, according to court documents, and could face more than 20 years in prison.

    Campus police identified the threatening emails as originating from computer in a building near the dental school. They installed a hidden video camera, school officials said. After a bomb threat was sent, and as demolition experts searched the building, campus police sought to identify a young woman caught on videotape using the computer at the time the e-mails were sent. Another dental student identified Claiborne, authorities said.

  23. NotSafeForWork says

    The other problem with this story is the time stamps match on both customer copy and merchant copy. If the customer did write in a tip as they allege (otherwise, how would their statement reflect the higher charge) how did the waitress get ANOTHER blank copy of the merchant receipt? If she ran a duplicate, the time stamps would be different.

    Show a customer credit card statement. Show a merchant batch report. These types of receipt copies aren’t enough to prove the allegations.

  24. Chaz says

    Too many of these stories. I think that, as a rule, if two very similar stories come one after the other in the media, the second should be scrutinized very carefully.

    Too many attention-seeking sad sacks out there.

    Fake physical attacks, fake home vandalism, and now this.

  25. Chaz says

    Just another one of those sad people, so very common in today’s society, who think that the truth is negotiable, that attention is its own reward and who most probably suffer from some sort of mental disorder: anxiety, depression, rage, narcissism, that makes them into ruthless fantasists. You meet them all the time. The truth is the last thing they said. Every problem they have is because of someone else. The personality problems they denounce in others are always the ones they exhibit themselves.

    Self-awareness is a quality in very short supply in the society of the spectacle.

  26. Joey Y says

    Wow PLENTY of people here making excuses for this waitress. Face it, she lied. In MULTIPLE other sites (yes, there ARE sites besides Towleroad, people) there’s actual copies OF THE CREDIT CARD STATEMENT SHOWING THE AMOUNT WITH THE TIP. What else do you need? Not everything is an attack on the gay community, and frankly, rallying around a liar and accusing a family with DOCUMENTATION that she’s a liar embarrasses the entire gay community.

  27. Mike says

    I knew that lesbian who torched her basement and wrote things on herself and the walls was a phony and said so at the time and was vilified for it. No attacker is going to scrawl “DYKE!” everywhere unless they’re gay, too.
    DUHHH.

  28. crispy says

    @NSFW: Sweetie, my vitriol is reserved solely for the dumbfucks who deserve it.

    Once again, if you bother to click to the original sources instead of taking everything you read on blogs at face value, you’ll see that NBC News actually provides video of the credit card receipt. Additionally, they interview the waitress in the parking lot and she fumbles over her story at this point. The fact is that she lied, and it sucks for actual victims.

    But feel free to continue being naive.

  29. anon says

    Tips are run through later, so the fact the initial charge is printed on the receipt does not mean it’s the final amount. The problem is, how did the waitress copy the receipt before the customer added the tip? It might be doable depending upon the cash register and how that works. Was she pocketing all the tip and not sharing with the rest of the staff?

  30. Ted B. (Charging Rhino) says

    As a non-lawyer I don’t know the statutes in NJ…but in many states her public accusations and collecting monies, even if for charity, would be charged-offenses as ‘committing a public fraud’.

    Just as false-claims of rape should be strongly-prosecuted to maintain the Public’s faith and support to the pursuit of rape-claims…so too should these false-claims of discrimination and violent-hate crimes that turn out to be cries for attention or for material-gain.

    Personally, I’ve reached a point of grave suspicion about these wait-staff claims of discrimination…especially as well-minded, generous people are now responding with financial-support…deserved or not. I compare it to the repulsively-manipulative “starving children in Africa” campaigns on late-night television where today we (rightly) suspect it’s just a scam.

    Once you erode the Public’s trust through false-accusation, you never really can regain it. The same with your personal reputation if you’re the one smeared by a false accusation.

  31. Ted B. (Charging Rhino) says

    As a non-lawyer I don’t know the statutes in NJ…but in many states her public accusations and collecting monies, even if for charity, would be charged-offenses as ‘committing a public fraud’.

    Just as false-claims of rape should be strongly-prosecuted to maintain the Public’s faith and support to the pursuit of rape-claims…so too should these false-claims of discrimination and violent-hate crimes that turn out to be cries for attention or for material-gain.

    Personally, I’ve reached a point of grave suspicion about these wait-staff claims of discrimination…especially as well-minded, generous people are now responding with financial-support…deserved or not. I compare it to the repulsively-manipulative “starving children in Africa” campaigns on late-night television where today we (rightly) suspect it’s just a scam.

    Once you erode the Public’s trust through false-accusation, you never really can regain it. The same with your personal reputation if you’re the one smeared by a false accusation.

  32. Kevin_BGFH says

    Look at the customer copy. Next to the part highlighted in yellow, it says 93.55. Isn’t that what was charged to the credit card company? Which corresponds to the dinner total without tip.

  33. says

    The story of the family who came forward seems credible to me. And, if their story is the true one, as seems likely, I don’t blame them for coming forward to expose the truth, especially since–along with their integrity–money has been involved. They come across as reasonable.

    Anyone who lies in a situation like this should be ashamed of themselves, not only because they lied but because their selfish lies are harming others. There’s enough actual anti-gay animosity in the world. No need to invent it where it doesn’t actually exist.

    It’s unfortunate we have to approach such stories with skepticism. That shouldn’t even be our job. It should be the job of those who report the stories, who need some lessons in verification and fact-checking, which should always precede an accusation.

  34. NotSafeForWork says

    Doesn’t add up. The merchant copy should match the account statement. How would the charge be run through with the tip if the amount wasn’t written on the merchant copy? Did they yell it out as they left? “Hey, add exactly slightly less than 20% for yourself, honey!” The customer never said they left a verbal tip. They claim they wrote it in. The time stamps on both copies of the receipts would be different if the waitress ran a duplicate receipt. Alterations would be clearly visible on the merchant copy.

  35. says

    The 93.55 amount on both receipts is the BEFORE tip amount. Surely you’ve paid by card at a restaurant before. You give them the card, they run it through for the food and beverage charges, then you add the tip afterward. The amount billed to you is changed later to reflect whatever gratuity you added.

    And it’s very easy to print another copy of the receipt. That’s so if the first copy is somehow ruined (paperjam or whatever) you can get another copy without running the card through again, which would result in a double charge. That reprint would likely have the same timestamp as when the card was first run through.

    Face it, she’s lying, either for attention or to make money from her “victimization.” What stinks is that when people really ARE harrassed physically, verbally, or in writing, this plants a seed of doubt and they may not be taken seriously.

  36. Kurt says

    If it’s true that this waitress lied, it’s not an indictment against all gay people, though I can see how some less fortunate individuals might try to do just that, which in fact is MORE messed up than this situation.

  37. DW says

    @ASAM @CALIBAN: Leave it to the Towleroad Trolls to use any story as an outlet for their misogyny. You’re playing right into the old stereotype of the homosexual who turns to men because he hates/fears women. Perhaps your mothers traumatized you with their potty training practices.

  38. jeff says

    If you compare the two receipts you can clearly see the number “5” is written in a totally different style. The “5” in the merchant receipt is different. It was clearly written in after the fact.

  39. NotSafeForWork says

    Even if the waitress did print another copy at the exact time to keep the same time stamp, a reprint should indicate “reprint” or “duplicate” to avoid confusion. It’s still not conclusive without the merchant batch report.

  40. kian says

    disgusting..and yeah, who accounts for all those donations? she said she’s donate $3000 but we all know she received way more than that..and she really looked SO GUILTY when she was interviewed…because if what she claimed was indeed true, she would have been emphatic in saying it wasn’t a lie!

  41. Joey Y says

    @DW, misogyny? Sorry, but not liking people who lie on national news and having it be a hoax that reflect poorly on gay rights in general is NOT gender-specific. Maybe you should stop handing out passes to people simply BECAUSE they have breasts.

    Also, it’s amazing how many people can’t grasp that the merchant copy ALWAYS shows the charge pre-tip. It’s like none of you people have ever eaten in a restaurant before, or have never left a tip. Such incredible stupidity is astounding.

  42. Joey Y says

    @DW, misogyny? Sorry, but not liking people who lie on national news and having it be a hoax that reflect poorly on gay rights in general is NOT gender-specific. Maybe you should stop handing out passes to people simply BECAUSE they have breasts.

    Also, it’s amazing how many people can’t grasp that the merchant copy ALWAYS shows the charge pre-tip. It’s like none of you people have ever eaten in a restaurant before, or have never left a tip. Such incredible stupidity is astounding.

  43. Belthazar says

    It’s ironic when the original story broke (see article) there were, absent a few, “if true” statements. But, now that the couple has come forward w/evidence, people are twisting themselves into knots to try to make the waitress’ story plausible.

    Remember, they (couple) are the accused. It is incumbent on the person making the allegations to prove it. As much damage that she has done, supporting her actions just compounds the problem and gives the anti-gay crowd another talking point.

  44. NotSafeForWork says

    People are free to believe whatever story they choose at whatever point they feel that is has been proven. Histrionic vitriol isn’t necessary simply because someone chooses to wait for a higher level of proof before passing judgment.

  45. Howard says

    Everyone seems to think either the couple is lying or the waitress is lying. No one is considering that there may be a 3rd explanation. It could very well be that someone connected with the restaurant is playing a cruel “joke” on the waitress. Everyone involved with this story is saying that the handwriting is not theirs. If this turns out to be true then the only other explanation is that a 3rd party is manipulating the receipts behind the scenes. It will be interesting to see what a thorough investigation into this story reveals. Until then, all people are innocent until proven guilty.

  46. John M says

    Some of the comments on this story are naive and downright gullible. THERE IS A VISA CREDIT CARD STATEMENT PROVIDED IN THE NBC NEWS STORY FFS. The news crew even tried to talk to her about it and she couldn’t even keep the story straight. All of the evidence is pointing toward a pathetic cry for attention on this server’s part. Aside from that, NJ isn’t exactly known for its virulent homophobes. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that this couple would come forward to refute what this girl has forged on their receipt.

    Folks from the Bridgewater, NJ area will tell you that this restaurant had been struggling and this was probably a PR stunt to boost their lackluster business. The couple probably was right and the waitress just reprinted the CC authorization (not hard to do) and scrawled a note on there. Bank statements don’t lie, folks.

  47. Belthazar says

    “Histrionic vitriol isn’t necessary simply because someone chooses to wait for a higher level of proof before passing judgment.”

    If that was the sentiment at the time of the original article [let’s wait…] that would be fine. However, the allegation was accepted at face-value, by the vast majority, when the story broke — comments still available. Now that the couple has “pushed-back”, let’s wait for a higher level of proof before passing judgment.

  48. NotSafeForWork says

    John M. bank statements can certainly be altered just as much as receipt copies. Probably even more so using OCR program with a scanner. Thermal receipt paper is very sensitive to alteration and most other receipt printers don’t use a standard word processing format, so an altered receipt would much more obvious.

    The story is not conclusive until the merchant batch report is compared with the credit card statement. We haven’t heard from the merchant yet.

    Your free to draw your conclusion at whatever point you see fit, but do you need to be a bully because others have different standards than yours?

  49. NotSafeForWork says

    @Beltahzar

    Vitriol wasn’t necessary then and it isn’t necessary now. Again, everyone is free to believe whatever they choose whenever they choose without the personal attacks so common around here.

  50. GregV says

    “Anyone notice how much anti-lesbian bigotry there is here? Makes me embarassed to be gay.”

    @Christopher: There is no need to be embarrassed. If you’ve been reading Towleroad for a few years, you surely recognize that the poster who used to call himself “Jason” now seems to come up with a new screen name for him/herself every week or so. Today he/she is “Asam” and most of the sexism on this thread came from him/her.
    And since this is the internet and it’s an anonymous screen name, he/she could just as well be Maggie Gallagher rather than the “gay man” persona that is being projected.
    Some people make offensive, anonymously-signed comments either for the thrill of making other commenters mad or to try to create division among communities.

  51. Cassandra says

    Any paper document can be faked and altered today – including a credit card statement.

    The claim that the waitress faked the receipt goes both ways – the family could have faked the credit card statement – a scanner, photoshop, even if the family members don’t have the skill, there is no shortage of people who do.

  52. John M says

    @NOTSAFEFORWORK

    How gullible are you? Why would an anonymous couple come forward, who by the way support marriage equality, forge a BANK STATEMENT?? On the other hand, a former Marine, working a crappy waitressing job at a slow restaurant (and perhaps in need of $$)with the ability to reprint a CC receipt wouldn’t do this? Some people are just attention whores who need pity and validation from others to get by.

    Get a clue. Please. This incident is a black eye on the whole community.

  53. NotSafeForWork says

    You are entitled to your interpretation of the facts. Making disparaging comments directly to another person based on their interpretation of the facts is bullying.

    Post your comments. Don’t attack others. Simple.

  54. Bill_ says

    It’s an odd development. The waitress did not originally run to the local TV stations and did not seek any donations. So it doesn’t seem like this originated as some money-making scheme. Also, her manager backed up her story. So assuming that it was a hoax, was he in on this too?

    On the other hand, I became suspicious when I read a subtle change in an article written last week. The reporter stated that she had pledge to donate “a portion” of the donations to Wounded Warriors. That is the first time I had heard that she would be giving away anything less than all of the donations, and it was odd that it would suddenly change like that.

    One thing is for sure: you can’t trust local reporters to actually check any of the facts in the story. If the do a story saying, “Local man claims X” then the ONLY thing they have verificed is that the local man is indeed claiming X. As to whether X is true or false, checking that out would take too much work and cost too much money, so they won’t bother.

    One other thing: people lie. Not lesbians, but all people. Check out any hostile divorce. Men and women who loved each other and raised children routinely falsely accuse one another of the most vile things, because they stand to benefit from the lie. The great con artists of the world have been straight men. Susan Smith lied about being a carjacked by a Black man to cover up her killing her 2 kids. Tawana Brawley lied about being attacked by a white gang to cover up her sneaking out of the house. This isn’t a lesbian thing. People lie.

  55. CC says

    Need to check the validity of their claim with the cc statement as it looks like they added a tip to the customer reciept (perhaps after the fact), not the merchant copy.

  56. Bruno says

    For this story to be true as reported, the merchant copy above would have to be a complete forgery. If the customers claim their CC was charged $111.55, then there has to be ANOTHER merchant copy which reflects that. I’m not sure if it’s possible that 2 merchant copies could be printed off the same transaction?

  57. says

    “Need to check the validity of their claim with the cc statement”

    They show their CC statement in the video clip. There is really no reason for them to come forward and lie. There is reason for them to come forward with the truth. Only the participants know the full truth, but in the video the couple comes across as credible and, unfortunately, Dayna does not.

  58. Bruno says

    Here’s another thing that maybe doesn’t make sense. Usually when you pay with a CC at a restaurant, the amount sans tip is charged first, in this case $93.55, then the tip portion is put through at a later time. I just had a tip on a meal go through 4 or 5 days after said meal, as it was a weekend. It seems unlikely to me that $111.55 would go through all at once. And again, I think it would make sense if we could see the actual statement instead of the reporter just quoting off it in her interviews.

  59. GregV says

    This while story was a mountain out of a molehill in the first place.

    Even if it were true that they didn’t leave a tip, SO WHAT? And even if it were true thst they wrote that they “don’t like her lifestyle,” that would be an ANECDOTE about some annoying customers — not an international incident that should become a news story.

    The blank section of the receipts could easily be changed with the stroke of a pen by either party. And as for the credit card receipts, when the manager asks the reporter, “how do you know they didn’t make a fake copy?” the reporter says “because I have a copy” — which does not answer the question.

    And a third possibilty no one seems to have considered is that the manager “doesn’t approve of her lifestyle” (maybe he thinks she goes to the casino too much or goes to too many parties, whi knows, and how could the customers possibly know about that anyway) and replaced the original receipt with a nasty note while the gay waitress was in the kitchen, only to try to “make everything right” later when it started to blow up into his face.

    And, John M: We don’t know that this couple actually does support marriage equality. They say that to the reporter as silhouettes with no names,

    I’m not saying ANY of the many conspiracy theories is true, but just that nobody seems to have proved anything. AND that not getting a tip is no big deal!

  60. GregV says

    This while story was a mountain out of a molehill in the first place.

    Even if it were true that they didn’t leave a tip, SO WHAT? And even if it were true thst they wrote that they “don’t like her lifestyle,” that would be an ANECDOTE about some annoying customers — not an international incident that should become a news story.

    The blank section of the receipts could easily be changed with the stroke of a pen by either party. And as for the credit card receipts, when the manager asks the reporter, “how do you know they didn’t make a fake copy?” the reporter says “because I have a copy” — which does not answer the question.

    And a third possibilty no one seems to have considered is that the manager “doesn’t approve of her lifestyle” (maybe he thinks she goes to the casino too much or goes to too many parties, whi knows, and how could the customers possibly know about that anyway) and replaced the original receipt with a nasty note while the gay waitress was in the kitchen, only to try to “make everything right” later when it started to blow up into his face.

    And, John M: We don’t know that this couple actually does support marriage equality. They say that to the reporter as silhouettes with no names,

    I’m not saying ANY of the many conspiracy theories is true, but just that nobody seems to have proved anything. AND that not getting a tip is no big deal!

  61. NotSafeForWork says

    @Bruno

    Yes, with that type of credit card process the amount with tip will go through all at once. The initial tab is run with an approval code for the full amount. It’s not actually processed, it actually sits there in the merchant’s system with the batch for that business day. Once the customer writes the tip, the trans is updated and then the new amount is what is actually run through that night during batch processing or whenever the merchant runs a batch. It would be unlikely the meal and then the tip to appear as two separate trans.

    In my opinion, the story is inconclusive until the batch report is reviewed and the merchant completes their investigation.

  62. NotSafeForWork says

    @Bruno

    Yes, the waitress could print another copy of the receipt, but she would have to do this quickly within the same minute as the original trans so the time stamps would match up. Then she would have one merchant copy to give to the guests to fill out and one to keep as her blank “no tip” copy. In my experience, reprints display the word “duplicate” or “reprint” to avoid confusion, but not all terminals are the same.

  63. Sam says

    One cannot tell whose telling the truth from purely reading the article. But the video reveals Dayna did not convincingly defend her case as compared to the customers’ interview and statements with the reporter. The lesbian had GUILT stamped all over her face (instead of upset and anger).

  64. NotSafeForWork says

    @Crispy

    You and John are internet bullies. It’s plain to see. Otherwise, how do you explain all of your personal attacks? Your personal attacks speak volumes about you and the fact you come back to post another attack only further proves my point.

    I simply choose to believe a higher standard of proof and have no issues if you believe otherwise.

  65. Bruno says

    @NOTSAFEFORWORK Well as I said before, my last such transaction went through separately. So it can happen either way. I think the key to this is finding the merchant copy where the customers (supposedly) wrote the tip in, and then seeing the CC charge. At this point, either side could be lying.

  66. NotSafeForWork says

    @Bruno

    The key is reviewing a batch report detail from the merchant’s terminal. The waitress has provided the merchant copy, which is blank, and as others have pointed out, could be a duplicate.

  67. NotSafeForWork says

    @Crispy

    Continuing to prove my point notwithstanding, I wish you and John all the best life has to offer you. Enjoy the upcoming holidays. If for some reason you don’t observe any of the coming holidays, then please accept my general best wishes for the rest of the year.

  68. I wont grow up says

    Seems a little fishy to me. The customer copy and ONLY the customer copy has the tip on it. If these people are the homophobes the waitress claims then they would likely do anything to discredit the waitress. I want to see an un-doctored copy of the credit card statement.

  69. John M says

    NOTSAFEFORWORK, do you have nothing better to do than diddle around on blogs all day throwing names around at other commenters? Get off your PC high horse and smell the coffee FFS. So I suppose you’ll be the first to apologize when her fraudulent behavior is revealed? Probz not.

    And GREGV, the couple understandably wants to remain anonymous because of people like the commenters on this story who would harass or intimidate them for coming forward. THAT would be bullying in a nutshell and yes, gay people can be in the wrong too.

    Lesson of the day (especially for Ms. Morales): Don’t build a house of cards in a windstorm.

  70. NotSafeForWork says

    @John

    Again, thank you for proving my point about internet bullies. I wish you the very best life has to offer you this holiday season and throughout the coming year!

  71. Joe in ELP says

    Does anyone know if the restaurant has released an updated statement? I’m stuck in an airport in El Paso and I can’t find anything online.

    As an aside, Crispy, you’ve been called a bully on this site for calling someone out (more than once) for saying a a report shouldn’t be taken as fact based on unproven allegations. Sounds like a legitimate reason.

  72. Larry says

    The weight of the credit card statement convinced me that the waitress lied. And in the CNN comments section, quite a few people are using this as “evidence” that the entire LGBT community is unethical. Not to mention this woman used to be a Marine.

    She also threw the restaurant under the bus. How many customers are going to say “I came in and gave a $50 tip to your waitress because I felt so horrible for her, but it turned out she tricked me. Why should I ever eat at your restaurant again?”

  73. Greg says

    What an awful woman to milk the problem of anti-gay discrimination to her advantage. I’m sure it makes people not take the issue as seriously when they read stories like this.

  74. Bill says

    @Chris: We can compare her copy and the original that the waitress photographed to show the cost of the meal + tax (and if tax is missing, that can be computed). The customer’s credit-card statement can be verified by a third party – the credit card company.

    Also, sometimes people pay the bill with a credit card and use cash for the tip. For example, one person offers to pay for the meal and uses a credit card and the other(s) offers to pay for the tip..

    Anyone want to call in a handwriting expert and check all the likely suspects to see who wrote it, or at least who didn’t?

  75. Captain Obvious says

    NSFW is correct. Anyone who’s ever checked their credit card statements knows that they’re not billed separately for the tip. The issue of being tipped in cash is beside the point, because the customer says they tipped on the credit card.

    All of this can easily be checked. The reporter should pay another visit to the customer. Ask the customer to log into the credit card account on line and find the statement.

    The statement will either show $93.55 from the restaurant or $111.55. Or if the tip did happen to be run separately (very unusual), then there will be a charge for $93.55 and another charge for $18.

    The only missing element so far is rock solid proof. Anyone can phony up the receipts, and anyone can phony up the credit card statement. But no one can phony up the credit car bank’s online account statement on the screen.

    My gut feel is that the server and her manager were in on it together, with a side agreement to split the profits. Why? Because he could’ve easily checked his tape for that day. But he stonewalled the TV station.

    Like I say, the easy verification is online, and the TV station ought to follow up. Failing that, the franchise owner ought to waddle on down to that location and demand the receipt records for the day this incident allegedly occurred.

    None of this is rocket science.

  76. Stephen says

    Sad if its true. But could the couple have also seen the coverage, scrounged up their copy of the receipt and then altered it to make it look like they weren’t bigoted? I don’t see the actual credit card statement. Just the Customer Copy which is also easy to doctor to show the other side as the victim.

  77. mmike1969 says

    I see a customer copy of this receipt. What I don’t see is their credit card statement. Bigots deny being bigots for a reason and I have no reason to believe these people.

  78. crispy says

    “But could the couple have also seen the coverage, scrounged up their copy of the receipt and then altered it to make it look like they weren’t bigoted?”

    The couple was never named. They had no need to come forward and clear their names because no one knew who they were.

    Also, anyone who’s been reading this site for at least a year knows full well that bigots are proud of their bigotry. No one has ever refused service to a gay person and then backtracked on it. They stand up proudly and repeat their bigotry. If this couple actually did leave that note, they’d be all over the news right now declaring that they were the ones who are being discriminated against because of their religious beliefs.

    I know we all want to believe that this wasn’t a hoax. But it was. Sorry.

  79. says

    Heavy sigh indeed. For the blind among us, the credit card statement is in the video report that accompanies this story. The same video report that shows Morales very unconvincingly trying to hold up her side of the story.

    A couple would have to be very (and strangely) motivated to doctor receipts and credit card statements to emerge from the comforts of anonymity as calm, tolerant people who didn’t vote for Chris Christie. People who lie, unless they simply get off on lying, usually have something to gain by lying. This couple has nothing to gain … The other party, however …

  80. says

    Oh for god’s sake. Some of you are really scraping the bottom of the barrel in order to excuse the waitress.

    Yes, a credit card statement CAN be scanned and altered but that’s a lot of hassle for someone to go through when they weren’t identified publicly in the first place.

    Face it, she frigging LIED either for attention or to get donations, then she got caught.

    I suppose it’s *possible* that a 3rd party somehow set this up, but it’s about as likely as a unicorn dropping by.

    And while we’re at it, it isn’t misogyny to notice that women are more likely to engage in attention-seeking behavior of this type, self-abuse in order to gain attention. Munchausen’s and Munchausen’s By Proxy is mainly perpetrated by women.

    But you know what? Murder, rape, and other violent crimes are mainly perpetrated by men. VASTLY so, and men have to own up to that fact. It isn’t “misogyny” to point out that in this ONE instance women are more likely to seek attention in this way.

    If men can admit that, as a group, we tend to be responsible for most of the violent crime in the world, I don’t think it’s too much to ask that women admit they’re more likely to do passive-aggressive BS like this.

    Munchausen’s or Munchausen’s By Proxy, where either you harm yourself or a child or other dependent in order to gain attention? It’s almost exclusively a female act.

    Murder, rape, and violent crime? Men OWN this category.

    Would you say it’s “misandry” to point out that most violent crime is perpetrated by men? No. And it’s not misogyny to observe that this kind of passive-aggressive attention seeking BS is mainly perpetrated by women.

    It may not be gender-neutral or politically correct but it’s the cold hard truth.

  81. NotSafeForWork says

    @Ernie

    Blind? You people are so rabid to crucify someone you just can’t help yourselves. Maybe that person was on mobile and couldn’t see the video, or maybe he just didn’t watch it to the end? Who knows? But thankfully we have people like you and Crispy and John and the other bullies to be right on the spot with a snappy gay bon mot. What would Towleroad be without people like you who think that every encounter is an opportunity to slay someone with your pithy wit?

    If you choose to believe the waitress is guilty, so be it. That’s your prerogative. However, until all the facts are proven and the merchant makes a statement regarding their credit card processing for that day, it’s still inconclusive. Believing that is certainly my prerogative.

  82. crispy says

    @NSFW: Much like this waitress’ accusations of discrimination, your constant accusations of bullying devalue people who are ACTUAL victims of bullying.

    Give it a rest.

    PS: Multiple news outlets are now reporting that people who know Dayna Morales say she’s a pathological liar.

  83. NotSafeForWork says

    @Crispy

    And no, calling someone out who is an internet bully doesn’t diminish other people who are victims of bullies. Bullies come in many different types and sizes. It’s sad and you should be ashamed to be in that group.

  84. Captain Obvious says

    @CALIBAN, my gut feel is that the waitress is lying, but seeing as how it’s easy to verify the story by going on-line with the customer and looking at their credit card statement, I think someone (the TV reporter) ought to do that and remove any lingering doubt.

  85. says

    @NSFW: No one is really getting crucified here. It’s blog comments, no nail and cross involved. (Though TR may be bullying me by eating my last comment, damn them!)

    I would much prefer that the waitress not be lying, for the sake of her own integrity and for the sake of our community, since people who say they are the victims of bigotry when they are not cause harm to more than themselves and those they wrongly accuse. There’s enough actual bigotry in the world. (Heavily in display in Croatia, where I am now, for instance.)

    If it turns out Dayna’s telling the truth, I would be very happy. But based on the video above, I don’t find her story credible. I find the family’s story credible. If I’m wrong, terrific.

    But, really, is it too much to ask that people actually watch something before weighing in strongly about it? Several commenters (not naming names!) keep asking for or disputing evidence that is right in the video, hence the face palms from those of us who’ve taken two minutes to watch before typing.

  86. Forever Borelais says

    @Ernie

    Yes, you and the people who share your views have already crucified Morales and this issue has you so stirred up, that all of you are so quick to jump on anyone with a different opinion.

    You haven’t been appointed official “face palm Czar” so why not just add your comments without the added derision? Again, there are many reasons for someone not to be aware of that video. Do you speak to total strangers like that in real life? Like standing in line at the grocery store or at work?

    Also, the redacted credit card statement shown in that video isn’t conclusive proof.

    I agree, this doesn’t look good. Also, the extended drama is not good for our community. However, my standards are higher and I prefer to wait until I hear a statement from the merchant that is directly related to their investigation and review of the credit card batch processing for that day.

    If you (or most assuredly, Crispy) don’t care for that, so be it, but the name calling and gay snark isn’t necessary.

  87. NOTSAFEFORWORK says

    Ernie, I was going to respond to you, but my husband (of 23 years) seems to have taken care of that. Now, I say directly to him: if he would please bring the tablet back to the kitchen….I have recipes to download…THANKS!

  88. crispy says

    Ernie: My hat’s off to you for such a reasonable, diplomatic comment. That said, you’re wasting your breath on someone as shrill and melodramatic as NSFW.

    I mean, honestly, how many times is he going to accuse someone else of bullying or “getting so stirred up” over this issue when in fact he’s the one who has posted 75 percent of the comments in this thread and attacks anyone who says that it’s a hoax? It would be ironic-funny if it wasn’t ironic-pathetic.

  89. Derrick from Philly says

    LOL Oh, my Lord. The coments were more interesting (and entertaining) than the original news story.

    I can’t believe I read the whole thing. LOL

  90. Captain Obvious says

    For the last time: This is easily solved once and for all, if the TV reporter will simply visit the family again and go online with them to verify the authenticity of the credit card statement. She could even film the computer screen, and then have her techs obscure any personal information.

    The fact that the restaurant manager won’t find the day’s receipts record is quite suspicious, and suggests he and the waitress were in on it. But, like I say, this can all be cleared up by going online and looking at the credit card statement there.

  91. says

    Lord, should I bring in my husband now? Honestly, I’ve never been accused of Internet bullying before, and I regularly write comments here, with my own name attached so it’s not like I’m raging in anonymity. Or even raging at all … IF the story is untrue, I think it is cause for despair, but we’re all responsible for telling our truth. No offense towards anyone in particular intended in my comments. Perhaps I’m homesick, who knows?

    Bless you, brave Derrick! We all need cocktails after this. (Speaking of cocktails, did you see Rick’s list of influences on one of those T threads the other day? Most interesting, and he referenced you.)

  92. NOTSAFEFORWORK says

    @Crispy

    LOL. You’re a victim now. How quaint.

    @Ernie

    Making a snarky comment that a total stranger was “blind” just because they aren’t on the same page as you, is offensive. At least you own up to it.

  93. Derrick from Philly says

    LOL. Hey, Ernie, it’s incredible how one topic can explode on this blog.

    Yes, I read Rick’s comments the other day. What’s fascinating is that for somebody who dislikes Black people so much he can be so much into Black American popular culture or Black music. Miss Rick is difficult to understand…should we even try?

    I don’t know. Maybe Rick is just “passing” for White like Peola in “Imitation Of Life”. He knows his true ancestry–that’s why he loves to listen to James Brown.

    Anyway, you and your husband (and many other American visitors on this blog) have a great holiday weekend.

  94. NOTSAFEFORWORK says

    @Crispy

    For the record, you attacked me first when I posted my comment that we didn’t have enough proof yet to conclude the waitress is lying.

    I referred to the posting of the guest copy of the receipt as “BS” as anyone can write anything on that copy at any time. I also find a redacted copy of the guest’s credit card statement suspicious. As someone pointed out above, it wasn’t vetted by the reporter, but suggested a live video of the account on screen would be better. I also find it hard to believe that the waitress printed two copies of the receipt, within the same minute, so the time stamps would be the same. It’s the only way this would work because she has one blank copy that she posted, yet the guests claim they wrote a tip on their signed copy. This means the waitress would have to plan this in advance, with military precision per se, to actually time the receipt printer, print an original receipt then do a reprint within the same minute. One minute to pull this off is tight. Also, from my experience, reprints display the word “reprint” or “duplicate” to avoid confusion during batch accounting, but every terminal is different.

    Then, you continued to post your snappy comments directly to me and you got upset when I called you out. All of this for what? Just because my opinion on the evidence is different than yours.

    You are putting words in my mouth by claiming I said this was a hoax. I never said that. What I’ve continued to say with my “75% of the comments” as you point out, is that IN MY OPINION, the story is not conclusive- yet. I believed the waitress as many did and I continue to lean in her favor. My mind is open to other outcomes and I do agree this doesn’t look good on our community or for Ms. Morales, but I will say again, I haven’t seen proof that satisfies me, which I will say again, needs to be a statement from the merchant regarding the audit of that day’s credit card batch processing.

    Please take some time to think about your actions and your place in the community. Yes, I believe that you are a bully or at the very least, very needy with attention. I’ll ask you the same question that I asked Ernie, do you behave this way in public? At work? With total strangers? In my opinion, you are too quick to judge, you don’t think before you speak and you have some maturing to do.

    I’m putting the issue that you created between us to rest. I’ve clearly stated my opinion multiple times, along with the industry experience to back it up. There is nothing more that needs to be said to you. However, I will continue to comment as I see fit.

  95. kian says

    she lied! she got caught! it’s quite obvious with her reactions when she was interviewed..if she didn’t lie, she OWULD HAVE BEEN ADAMANT in saying that her story was TRUE, but she did not!

  96. Scott P. says

    Kina..did you read the last paragraph of your linked story?

    “Days after the story first was reported, Lapola told the Courier News he was not working the evening of the incident. But Lapola stood by his waitress and said he instructed his staff to discount an entree from the family’s check and to credit the difference as a tip.”

  97. says

    Same to you, dear Derrick, if you dare to return to this unseemly thread. If one could be a fly on Miss Rick’s wall. OK, shudder at the thought. I’m still laughing at your perfect beheading comment (on another T thread, heaven help us) the other day. On that note, Happy Thanksgiving!

    @NSFW: I think we’ve exhausted the topic of Dayna’s innocence or guilt (I truly wish she was telling the truth yet … ) but my “blind” comment was not about people disagreeing with me and certainly wasn’t directed specifically at you or any one person. I welcome rational counter-arguments on any topic. I was talking about those who were pontificating blindly because they hadn’t bothered to watch the video that answered their questions. The intention wasn’t to be snarky or offensive; it was to make the point that it’s best to comment with the information provided rather than without it.

  98. NOTSAFEFORWORK says

    @Ernie

    I acknowledged that you owned your actions earlier. Agreed. No need for further discourse! Have a Happy Holiday, Hanukkah is in full swing here!

  99. Bill says

    If you look at the picture at the top of the page showing the two receipts, the handwriting seems different for the number 5 when comparing one to the other.

    Also, the image quality for the “merchant copy” is noticeably worse – enough to possibly cover up a photoshop job in which an image of the receipt is modified, printed, and then photographed or xeroxed at low enough resolution to hide any obvious indications of editing.

    Something funny is going on, but I’ll decline to speculate on who did what.

  100. Captain Obvious says

    @KIAN, I really didn’t expect to comment again here, but I wanted to thank you for that link. No need for the TV reporter to do the on-line check I had suggested.

    The waitress is a congenital liar and an all-around whackjob. Case closed. Thanks again for the link.

  101. NotSafeForWork says

    I say that you are still a bully, the story is still inconclusive and the link you posted is an abridged version of the story at the link posted by Kian above. Scott P. pointed out the last paragraph of the story is interesting:

    “Days after the story first was reported, Lapola told the Courier News he was not working the evening of the incident. But Lapola stood by his waitress and said he instructed his staff to discount an entree from the family’s check and to credit the difference as a tip.”

    Have a nice evening! Dinner is done and it’s time for football!!!

  102. Sam says

    This ex-Marine dyke is an absolute disgrace to the entire gay community and US Marine Corp. A total whacked job who desperately needs help immediately. And thank you for your updated postings with your unbiased journalistic honesty…unlike two veteran gay journalists at Gay USA who censors unfavorable LGBT reports such as this…Shame!

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