"Ex-Gays" | United Kingdom

Man Has Sex With Hundreds Of Men, Converts To Heterosexuality

Gay Conversion

James Parker of England was born gay. He realized he was attracted to other boys at the young age of 10, he was accepted by his family when he came out in his teens, and as an adult he had boyfriends and slept with, by his own estimate, over 200 men. Then he found a new relationship with Jesus Christ and converted to heterosexuality, complete with a wife and child. It turns out that Parker wasn't born that way, he just had a commitment problem that centered from his fear of heterosexual men.

I realised I had some issues, centring on commitment. I discovered I had a deep-rooted fear of rejection, I was too anxious, and I used people. I had an innate fear of men – not of their homophobia, but the real thing: a chasm between me and the normal heterosexual male (Kinsey's so-called number ones). [The Kinsey Scale goes from 0-6]

[...]

I eventually came to realise that as a boy I had failed to interact with other men on any significant level. I had perceived myself to be rejected by men even as a small boy and had made an inner vow never to deeply trust them. People had reached out to me and I had spurned them, including my father and two older brothers. No wonder men had become a mystery to me and even an obsession by my teens, when I began erotically craving men and feeding this through porn.

So because he was scared of straight men, he became attracted to gay men. Makes sense. Because of his experiences and because he was able to be attracted to and sexually satisfied by a woman, Parker now firmly believes that people aren't born gay, that they just create "hidden identities." However, it's not an uncommon thing for someone to not be gay and yet be attracted to the same sex while still being attracted to the opposite sex. These people are called "bisexuals."

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Comments

  1. Well, you can't say he didn't give homosexuality a chance. :-P

    Posted by: TJ Parker | Apr 8, 2014 9:41:38 PM


  2. It appears that this is a personal journey that he needs to walk through. We all have our own personal journeys.

    Posted by: Jon | Apr 8, 2014 9:46:35 PM


  3. After 200 hundred men, it was Jesus that he finally settled for. Makes sense I guess.

    Posted by: GJP | Apr 8, 2014 9:48:31 PM


  4. He's fooling himself. People can psych themselves up to believe most anything if they try. Trouble is, his homosexual behavior cannot be explained away to those of us who know better. Maybe he's bisexual, I don't know. But one thing I do know is that he's not heterosexual...

    Posted by: Robert M. | Apr 8, 2014 9:48:49 PM


  5. ok... first. the Source is the IBTimes. Its not a real news site and they are doing some kind SEO voodoo. The Author of the "article" is promoting his own conversion services. This is an ad.

    Posted by: Homo Genius | Apr 8, 2014 10:04:05 PM


  6. What does fear of commitment have to do with it? I've been committed to the same man for over 2 decades. I highly doubt it's a phase I'm still working through. Also, I don't understand working out issues with straight men by sleeping with men; what does his relationship with his father and brothers have to do with craving porn? Someone needs an enema during his next shrink visit.

    Posted by: Lucca | Apr 8, 2014 10:19:27 PM


  7. I agree with ROBERT M. The guy is fooling himself. More to the point he is lying. I'll bet nickels to dimes he is tricking with men on the side. Eventually he'll make another very public reversal. Time will tell. You simply don't go to bed with other men because you are afraid of men, gay or straight.

    Posted by: Mike Ryan | Apr 8, 2014 10:31:31 PM


  8. He thinks about guys while he's having sex with his wife and even when he kisses her. As long as he keeps that to himself, he'll be okay.

    If she ever asks him what he's thinking about during sex, hopefully he'll off the wisdom to say something like, "I just think about how lucky I am to be with you". That's the best response for anyone, straight or gay, male or female, if anyone ever asks what you're thinking in bed.

    Honesty is definitely NOT the best policy. Being discrete is the wisest recourse.

    Posted by: BigGuy | Apr 8, 2014 10:35:35 PM


  9. Not buying it. His story is full of gay caricatures and tropes and sex stereotypes that only Christians who don't actually know anything about gay people believe:

    - "I grew from a loud and arrogant person, trying desperately to mask my deep insecurities in group situations, into a strong, assertive guy who loved sports and war films."

    - "I reckon I had 200 sexual partners."

    - "I also realised I had thrown myself wholeheartedly into a world of the feminine, with no masculine counter-balance"

    - "I began to walk straighter and lost my old mincing walk…there was a man as real and as noble as the men I had often admired, worshipped and yearned for hidden deep within me"

    - "when I visited my ex-boyfriend, five years after therapy, it brought to home to me the drawbacks of that life. His voice had become camp and weak, and he had even contracted HIV."

    - And my favorite: "my decision to entertain therapy...saved a lot of taxpayers' money too. I now believe I would have ended up considering, and no doubt requesting, gender reassignment at the expense of the public purse."

    But the major hole in his story is his claim that the therapy that changed his sexual orientation "was simply a mixture of cognitive therapy,...behavioural therapy,...and EMDR, which uses rhythmic eye movements to dampen the power of traumatic memories." There are no doubt hundreds of thousands of people undergoing this combination of therapies. If it altered sexual orientation as he claims, we'd know it. There would be thousands of similar cases.

    The other obvious red flag with his story: these supposed conversions only ever happen to people who are religiously motivated.

    Posted by: JJ | Apr 8, 2014 10:38:24 PM


  10. why give attention to this trash?

    Posted by: Reality | Apr 8, 2014 10:38:42 PM


  11. my mother was born blonde. she now colors her hair dark. so today, is she a blonde or a brunette? who gets to decide her self identity but her?

    Posted by: liveandletlive | Apr 8, 2014 11:17:56 PM


  12. Good for him. I hope, though, that when he goes out cottaging, he uses protection. It would be sad if he picks something up from someone else who suffers from his problem and brings it home to his wife.

    Posted by: SteveInDE | Apr 8, 2014 11:18:37 PM


  13. This should link to the recent article about Newsweek. (http://www.towleroad.com/2014/03/new-owner-of-newsweek-magazine-believes-homosexuality-can-be-cured-1/comments/page/2/#comments) This is from the right-wing rag that purchased it. I guess the point is to have such stories in American sales channels that still sell magazines - drugstores, supermarkets etc. to reach the angry old tea partier market before they all die off. Easier to buy a dying old magazine than launch a new one. Kind of like the once-noble American and European piano brands that are bought by Chinese makers for ultra-cheap instruments.


    Posted by: EchtKultig | Apr 8, 2014 11:24:22 PM


  14. Like most married "straight" men, he'll have his main course of vagina with a side dish of cock. He ain't kiddin' nobody.

    Posted by: Sean Maloney | Apr 8, 2014 11:28:00 PM


  15. The wise-guy response is that Jesus wanted a monogamous relationship with him, but knowing that he is a man, told him that, if he had to cheat, it would be OK if it was with a woman, but not another man.

    It's a comprise due to a long-distance relationship (in this case, heaven/earth instead of east coast/ west coast).

    Posted by: Bill | Apr 8, 2014 11:30:26 PM


  16. comprise? I thought I typed compromise!

    Posted by: Bill | Apr 8, 2014 11:31:35 PM


  17. Why is TR posting ads for gay conversion therapies as "news" ?

    Seriously, WTF ?

    Posted by: Buckie | Apr 8, 2014 11:33:31 PM


  18. I'd like to see an on-camera interview with him and his family, thanks.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Apr 8, 2014 11:36:02 PM


  19. " I grew from a loud and arrogant person, trying desperately to mask my deep insecurities in group situations, into a strong, assertive guy who loved sports and war films."

    What has this got to do with anything? I have always loved sports and war films (among many types of movies) as far as I can remember... and I've always loved men as well.

    A common thread with many of these "I'm straight now" types, is that they think they will stop being gay if they take an interest in what are traditionally more masculine pursuits.

    But it doesn't work like that.

    Hey I'm glad he's no longer frightened of team sports, but that doesn't change the fact he's gay or a very gay-leaning bisexual.

    It's possible to find happiness in all manner of relationships and situations which normally wouldn't suit our make-up, but please don't claim that being gay was just a complex you had in your head - not only is it bogus, but it's dangerous information to be putting out there.

    Posted by: Hass | Apr 8, 2014 11:38:22 PM


  20. to clarify - i want to see him in an on-camera interview with his "family who supported him" because I don't buy a single word of this :D

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Apr 8, 2014 11:40:08 PM


  21. I do believe that personal hang-ups and personality issues can drive men to one gender over another.

    For example, a man may have had an experience with a woman that has put him off women in general. He may then turn to men even though his innate sexual feelings for women are still there.

    In another example, consider the man who may have sexual feelings for men more than he does women. He may, after a number of experiences with men in his life, decide that relations with men aren't getting him anywhere.

    He may then choose a path in his life that he believes will fulfill him better and provide him with the nuclear family life and children he so desires. This appears to be the case for James Parker.

    What I'm trying to get at is this: don't have close minds. We mustn't discount the reality that some men evolve in their feelings, including sexual ones. It's a path along progression.

    Posted by: brian | Apr 8, 2014 11:42:58 PM


  22. A lot of you are more narrow-minded than the conservative Christians you decry. I met a guy once who was into women. He fell for me and enjoyed a couple of experiences with me, but was adamant that he was into women. It doesn't mean "he's in denial and is really gay". Homosexuality doesn't always trump heterosexuality.

    Open your minds and stop being so narrow towards others.

    Posted by: brian pence | Apr 8, 2014 11:48:45 PM


  23. " We mustn't discount the reality that some men evolve in their feelings, including sexual ones. It's a path along progression."

    Nope, in this case it's clearly just a path to his bank account, because he's part of an "ex-gay" conversion therapy company.
    In the incredibly rare case of a straight man who genuinely found his true orientation after a period of being gay - for some reason - talking about it publicly would be the LAST thing he would do. Do any straight men leave prison saying, "I'm glad I'm out, but I'll sure miss having sex with other men." No, they don't talk about it at all, with anyone.

    Posted by: EchtKultig | Apr 8, 2014 11:55:35 PM


  24. It doesn't mean "he's in denial and is really gay".

    Actually, it does. I don't know why this is so hard for people to understand. Maybe because I grew up in the more cosmopolitan (relatively) environs of the inner suburbs of DC. Many, many gay men are capable of being married and fathering children. Just in the immediate circle of my family and their friends, and casual acquaintances, I knew of 3 such men who came out when they had children who were past elementary school. One was a prominent and wealthy physician. And one of my best female friends in high school had a gay father. That's 4 I can think of off the top of my head.
    Straight guys just don't need a little man sex on the side once in a while. Sorry. Doesn't happen. What does happen, quite frequently, is men lead very closeted lives beginning from a very early age. You friend has figured out how to have sex with women and it makes him feel like a legit American man. That is all.

    Posted by: EchtKultig | Apr 9, 2014 12:05:19 AM


  25. Echtkultig,

    A gay-identifying man may choose to nurture his opposite-sex feelings no matter how tiny they are in his overall composition. He may choose this path because he decides that he really wants to continue the family line. He chooses to adopt a lifestyle that involves a wife and having children.

    Why do you find this so difficult to accept? It doesn't mean he is rejecting homosexuality as a concept. It simply means that he has chosen to adopt a lifestyle that returns something to him in the form of a child and overall nuclear stability.

    If you find such a choice threatening, it suggests you may be insecure in your own sexuality.

    Posted by: brian pence | Apr 9, 2014 12:05:52 AM


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