Man Has Sex With Hundreds Of Men, Converts To Heterosexuality

Gay Conversion

James Parker of England was born gay. He realized he was attracted to other boys at the young age of 10, he was accepted by his family when he came out in his teens, and as an adult he had boyfriends and slept with, by his own estimate, over 200 men. Then he found a new relationship with Jesus Christ and converted to heterosexuality, complete with a wife and child. It turns out that Parker wasn't born that way, he just had a commitment problem that centered from his fear of heterosexual men.

I realised I had some issues, centring on commitment. I discovered I had a deep-rooted fear of rejection, I was too anxious, and I used people. I had an innate fear of men – not of their homophobia, but the real thing: a chasm between me and the normal heterosexual male (Kinsey's so-called number ones). [The Kinsey Scale goes from 0-6]

[…]

I eventually came to realise that as a boy I had failed to interact with other men on any significant level. I had perceived myself to be rejected by men even as a small boy and had made an inner vow never to deeply trust them. People had reached out to me and I had spurned them, including my father and two older brothers. No wonder men had become a mystery to me and even an obsession by my teens, when I began erotically craving men and feeding this through porn.

So because he was scared of straight men, he became attracted to gay men. Makes sense. Because of his experiences and because he was able to be attracted to and sexually satisfied by a woman, Parker now firmly believes that people aren't born gay, that they just create "hidden identities." However, it's not an uncommon thing for someone to not be gay and yet be attracted to the same sex while still being attracted to the opposite sex. These people are called "bisexuals."

Comments

  1. Jon says

    It appears that this is a personal journey that he needs to walk through. We all have our own personal journeys.

  2. GJP says

    After 200 hundred men, it was Jesus that he finally settled for. Makes sense I guess.

  3. Robert M. says

    He’s fooling himself. People can psych themselves up to believe most anything if they try. Trouble is, his homosexual behavior cannot be explained away to those of us who know better. Maybe he’s bisexual, I don’t know. But one thing I do know is that he’s not heterosexual…

  4. Homo Genius says

    ok… first. the Source is the IBTimes. Its not a real news site and they are doing some kind SEO voodoo. The Author of the “article” is promoting his own conversion services. This is an ad.

  5. Lucca says

    What does fear of commitment have to do with it? I’ve been committed to the same man for over 2 decades. I highly doubt it’s a phase I’m still working through. Also, I don’t understand working out issues with straight men by sleeping with men; what does his relationship with his father and brothers have to do with craving porn? Someone needs an enema during his next shrink visit.

  6. says

    I agree with ROBERT M. The guy is fooling himself. More to the point he is lying. I’ll bet nickels to dimes he is tricking with men on the side. Eventually he’ll make another very public reversal. Time will tell. You simply don’t go to bed with other men because you are afraid of men, gay or straight.

  7. BigGuy says

    He thinks about guys while he’s having sex with his wife and even when he kisses her. As long as he keeps that to himself, he’ll be okay.

    If she ever asks him what he’s thinking about during sex, hopefully he’ll off the wisdom to say something like, “I just think about how lucky I am to be with you”. That’s the best response for anyone, straight or gay, male or female, if anyone ever asks what you’re thinking in bed.

    Honesty is definitely NOT the best policy. Being discrete is the wisest recourse.

  8. JJ says

    Not buying it. His story is full of gay caricatures and tropes and sex stereotypes that only Christians who don’t actually know anything about gay people believe:

    – “I grew from a loud and arrogant person, trying desperately to mask my deep insecurities in group situations, into a strong, assertive guy who loved sports and war films.”

    – “I reckon I had 200 sexual partners.”

    – “I also realised I had thrown myself wholeheartedly into a world of the feminine, with no masculine counter-balance”

    – “I began to walk straighter and lost my old mincing walk…there was a man as real and as noble as the men I had often admired, worshipped and yearned for hidden deep within me”

    – “when I visited my ex-boyfriend, five years after therapy, it brought to home to me the drawbacks of that life. His voice had become camp and weak, and he had even contracted HIV.”

    – And my favorite: “my decision to entertain therapy…saved a lot of taxpayers’ money too. I now believe I would have ended up considering, and no doubt requesting, gender reassignment at the expense of the public purse.”

    But the major hole in his story is his claim that the therapy that changed his sexual orientation “was simply a mixture of cognitive therapy,…behavioural therapy,…and EMDR, which uses rhythmic eye movements to dampen the power of traumatic memories.” There are no doubt hundreds of thousands of people undergoing this combination of therapies. If it altered sexual orientation as he claims, we’d know it. There would be thousands of similar cases.

    The other obvious red flag with his story: these supposed conversions only ever happen to people who are religiously motivated.

  9. liveandletlive says

    my mother was born blonde. she now colors her hair dark. so today, is she a blonde or a brunette? who gets to decide her self identity but her?

  10. SteveInDE says

    Good for him. I hope, though, that when he goes out cottaging, he uses protection. It would be sad if he picks something up from someone else who suffers from his problem and brings it home to his wife.

  11. EchtKultig says

    This should link to the recent article about Newsweek. (http://www.towleroad.com/2014/03/new-owner-of-newsweek-magazine-believes-homosexuality-can-be-cured-1/comments/page/2/#comments) This is from the right-wing rag that purchased it. I guess the point is to have such stories in American sales channels that still sell magazines – drugstores, supermarkets etc. to reach the angry old tea partier market before they all die off. Easier to buy a dying old magazine than launch a new one. Kind of like the once-noble American and European piano brands that are bought by Chinese makers for ultra-cheap instruments.

  12. Sean Maloney says

    Like most married “straight” men, he’ll have his main course of vagina with a side dish of cock. He ain’t kiddin’ nobody.

  13. Bill says

    The wise-guy response is that Jesus wanted a monogamous relationship with him, but knowing that he is a man, told him that, if he had to cheat, it would be OK if it was with a woman, but not another man.

    It’s a comprise due to a long-distance relationship (in this case, heaven/earth instead of east coast/ west coast).

  14. Hass says

    ” I grew from a loud and arrogant person, trying desperately to mask my deep insecurities in group situations, into a strong, assertive guy who loved sports and war films.”

    What has this got to do with anything? I have always loved sports and war films (among many types of movies) as far as I can remember… and I’ve always loved men as well.

    A common thread with many of these “I’m straight now” types, is that they think they will stop being gay if they take an interest in what are traditionally more masculine pursuits.

    But it doesn’t work like that.

    Hey I’m glad he’s no longer frightened of team sports, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s gay or a very gay-leaning bisexual.

    It’s possible to find happiness in all manner of relationships and situations which normally wouldn’t suit our make-up, but please don’t claim that being gay was just a complex you had in your head – not only is it bogus, but it’s dangerous information to be putting out there.

  15. says

    to clarify – i want to see him in an on-camera interview with his “family who supported him” because I don’t buy a single word of this 😀

  16. brian says

    I do believe that personal hang-ups and personality issues can drive men to one gender over another.

    For example, a man may have had an experience with a woman that has put him off women in general. He may then turn to men even though his innate sexual feelings for women are still there.

    In another example, consider the man who may have sexual feelings for men more than he does women. He may, after a number of experiences with men in his life, decide that relations with men aren’t getting him anywhere.

    He may then choose a path in his life that he believes will fulfill him better and provide him with the nuclear family life and children he so desires. This appears to be the case for James Parker.

    What I’m trying to get at is this: don’t have close minds. We mustn’t discount the reality that some men evolve in their feelings, including sexual ones. It’s a path along progression.

  17. brian pence says

    A lot of you are more narrow-minded than the conservative Christians you decry. I met a guy once who was into women. He fell for me and enjoyed a couple of experiences with me, but was adamant that he was into women. It doesn’t mean “he’s in denial and is really gay”. Homosexuality doesn’t always trump heterosexuality.

    Open your minds and stop being so narrow towards others.

  18. EchtKultig says

    ” We mustn’t discount the reality that some men evolve in their feelings, including sexual ones. It’s a path along progression.”

    Nope, in this case it’s clearly just a path to his bank account, because he’s part of an “ex-gay” conversion therapy company.
    In the incredibly rare case of a straight man who genuinely found his true orientation after a period of being gay – for some reason – talking about it publicly would be the LAST thing he would do. Do any straight men leave prison saying, “I’m glad I’m out, but I’ll sure miss having sex with other men.” No, they don’t talk about it at all, with anyone.

  19. EchtKultig says

    It doesn’t mean “he’s in denial and is really gay”.

    Actually, it does. I don’t know why this is so hard for people to understand. Maybe because I grew up in the more cosmopolitan (relatively) environs of the inner suburbs of DC. Many, many gay men are capable of being married and fathering children. Just in the immediate circle of my family and their friends, and casual acquaintances, I knew of 3 such men who came out when they had children who were past elementary school. One was a prominent and wealthy physician. And one of my best female friends in high school had a gay father. That’s 4 I can think of off the top of my head.
    Straight guys just don’t need a little man sex on the side once in a while. Sorry. Doesn’t happen. What does happen, quite frequently, is men lead very closeted lives beginning from a very early age. You friend has figured out how to have sex with women and it makes him feel like a legit American man. That is all.

  20. brian pence says

    Echtkultig,

    A gay-identifying man may choose to nurture his opposite-sex feelings no matter how tiny they are in his overall composition. He may choose this path because he decides that he really wants to continue the family line. He chooses to adopt a lifestyle that involves a wife and having children.

    Why do you find this so difficult to accept? It doesn’t mean he is rejecting homosexuality as a concept. It simply means that he has chosen to adopt a lifestyle that returns something to him in the form of a child and overall nuclear stability.

    If you find such a choice threatening, it suggests you may be insecure in your own sexuality.

  21. EchtKultig says

    ‘chosen to adopt a lifestyle that returns something to him in the form of a child and overall nuclear stability.”

    Well, considering the son of the prominent DC physician had a massive drug problem for years, I don’t really think leading a double life contributes to “nuclear stability”. LMAO at that.
    I obviously don’t find it “difficult to accept” that it happens. I’m quite aware that it happens. I just don’t accept that it’s a just or fair decision for the wife. I think the straight spouse survivor’s network would agree with me, not with you! (http://www.straightspouse.org/)

  22. brian pence says

    Echtkultig,

    The reality of human sexuality is very different from the world of identity politics. Identity politics is based on winning power at the political level. Human sexuality is based on natural feelings and emotions that have nothing to do with politics.

    It’s a trap that many of us fall into because we have grown up in the era of identity politics. I’m not saying that identity politics is bad. In fact, if it weren’t for identity politics, there would still be laws that prosecuted male homosexuality. Identity politics has been good for us.

    However – and this is my main point – male homosexuality wasn’t invented along with identity politics. Male homosexuality has existed since the time man first walked on the Earth. It pre-dates identity politics by millions and millions of years.

    Male homosexual feelings and acts have always been here and will never go away. Let’s avoid falling into the modern-day trap of forcing men into the identity politics box.

  23. EchtKultig says

    “If you find such a choice threatening”

    I find lies of all kinds threatening. That I thought “Saddam has nuclear weapons” was an evil lie doesn’t mean that I was Saddam, or a nuclear weapon!

  24. EchtKultig says

    Nope, you’ve painted yourself into a corner because you’ve exposed the even bigger lie.

    “Male homosexual feelings and acts have always been here and will never go away.”

    There have always been HOMOSEXUALS. Read any Chaucer?

  25. brian pence says

    I knew a gay-identifying man when I was about 24. We would meet up at discos and he would lust after the various men he saw on the dance floor. He went home with a number of the men he met, and would then report back to me on what a wonderful time he had.

    For some reason, I never saw him again for about 2 years. When I did finally meet him, he told me that he had turned straight. His girlfriend was with him. These “turned straight” words were HIS words. He simply used the terminology that was appropriate to him to describe the way he felt at this particular moment in time.

    Who am I to tell him that he’s not really straight?. I am in no position to tell him what he really is. Moreover, he is the only one who is entitled to be what he wants to be. None of us has the right to impose our views or values on him.

  26. brian pence says

    Echtkultig,

    The only distortions are the ones you appear to be telling yourself. You appear to abide by judgmentalism and know-all-ism.

    While I think that you make some good points, I also think you are hemmed in by identity politics. I can only repeat what I said earlier: male homosexual identity politics is recent, male homosexual feelings and acts have existed since time zero.

  27. EchtKultig says

    “None of us has the right to impose our views or values on him.”

    No, of course we don’t. Yet the closet cases are the very people who try to impose their values on us. You can be sure John Paulk was against gay marriage until he admitted last year that, yep, he’s actually gay.

    There was a sad comment in a recent NY Times article from a man who “stopped being gay” around age 50! IIRC he had been “working out” for years to make himself “stronger”. Just because people can struggle to hate a part of themselves for decades and finally be successful doesn’t mean that they aren’t borderline psychotic. Of course, this had made him realize that _ALL_ the other gays were damaged people like he had once been. It got 11 likes, btw.

    “Lust” after the men on the dance floor? Your choice of words implies you’re the one still struggling here, or just a Christianist who is (very unsuccessfully) trolling.

  28. says

    After having your ass wrecked by 200 men, who else would want you? Of course you have to turn to heterosexual women for comfort.
    So the method of ex-gay therapy is by having sex with 200 men. Fortunately, most gays are not as slutty as you are.

  29. JackFknTwist says

    Humph !
    Little wonder I can’t get my share of men if this tramp has a herd of 200 at his disposal.

  30. Randy says

    In addition to bisexuals, there are other possibilities.

    A small portion of gay or straight people (even men) do change sexual orientation. But it is not something that can be willed or coerced to happen. That could be what happened here, except the religious claim undercuts that because we know religious people will say anything to promote their particular one.

    It’s also true that people (who aren’t paid) sometimes have sex with people they are not attracted to, for their own reasons. Stopping that doesn’t reflect a change in orientation. It’s just a change in behavior to something more in line with their actual orientation.

  31. UFFDA says

    This whole thing is clearly explained by the photo. I don’t have a big “Gay – Not Gay” switch in my chest. He does.

  32. *****overTX says

    Of course he likes sports and war films….both are full to the brim with hot, sweaty, GUYS!

  33. wheelie81 says

    Slept with over 200 men and have commitment issues? No honey, you’re a gay whore like the rest.

  34. Qj201 says

    It’s like Freud all over again. “Well this is how my mind works, so everyone else’s must work this way too”

  35. says

    I see that some very feeble-minded people on here, who likely have zero experience actually interacting with other gay people on a regular basis, are actually *buying* this nonsense.

    You can call me closed-minded for saying that’s it’s B.S….but Sorry I’m Not Sorry – I’m not going to throw out everything I’ve learned in life about the human experience because of some TEXTBOOK denial story cooked-up by some nutter who can’t even verify any of his claims from a place of visibility.

    This is as stupid as that gay british dunce who only claimed to have “turned gay” after he had a concussion/stroke thing. NO. Irt didn’t turn him gay – a healthscare made him reprioritize, and he wasn’t man enough to just admit that he’d been LYING.

    For the love of GOD, people. I can’t….

  36. says

    I would feel sorry for his wife, but in this case the heifer KNEW what she was getting into.

    Trust. There will be infidelity. I just hope he gets caught in a public way, so his “wife” can’t just choose to live in denial or cover for his sorry ass.

  37. Hey Darlin' says

    If you have slept with 200 men, that’s a mighty thorough test period. This doesn’t sound real to me either. There are too many stereotypical references for someone who should be much more well versed in living in two worlds.

  38. Ryan says

    Given the sketchy source and fact that it seemed to be an advertisement, this post on towleroad should be updated or deleted.

  39. Fred L says

    I’m guessing his 200-partner experiences were complicated by a very very small penis. That’s just about the only thing that gays will reject you for, yet [many] women seem willing to deal with. After 200 rejections, he figured, “what the hell, might as well try women.”

  40. 1♥ says

    This is more Christian snake oil. Other than the obvious lies and gay stereotypes he’s suggesting that now he’s a heterosexual male he’s able to have a committed relationship. Heterosexual males are notorious for cheating on their wives.

  41. says

    You might see these stories come up more often because the gay conversion industry is dying. The internet allows more stories like these to go viral because it’s the internet. You can say anything and people will comment and click on ads and get in an uproar. The problem with these stories is they’re not verifiable. Can anyone or enough people vouch for this man? His history and background? Probably not. I’ve read social conservative pieces and commentators and they now practically embrace the same sexual philosophy as Kinsey and Foucault. In order to maintain the farce of “gay is a choice” they’ve thrown even hardened straight men under the bus. The more recent examples of ex-gays are suspicious. They use the more modern terms of gay-identified and sound so reasonable. The trick is to not aid them by responding. That only encourages them.

  42. MrMarshall says

    LIVEANDLETLIVE, if your mother was born blonde and now colors her hair brunette, then very likely she’s neither. Her hair is gray.

  43. BobN says

    So, his first act upon realizing he had a problem with commitment was to dump his boyfriend of five years?

    And he still has sex with men (see his answer to the “exclusivity” question).

    OK. He wanted a wife and kids. And cock from time to time. Now he’s got ’em.

    Lesson??? Meh…

  44. Rachel says

    I think Towleroad needs to post an explanation of why this is on the site.

    Has it been hacked??

  45. anon says

    He had to tell his future wife SOMETHING to get her to marry him. It HAD to sound convincing, don’t you think?

    Let’s not mince words, here. There is no “Finding Jesus” cure for homosexuality. You can’t change orientation because you’ve found religion. So that part of the story is simply false. If he were bisexual then I’m going to assume he also slept with women because actions speak louder than words. Was he simply scared of women before now? Research has shown that male sexuality evolves over time but doesn’t flip around, so there is no basis to believe his dramatic story. It has to be inherently less dramatic.

  46. etseq says

    ECHTKULTIG is correct – the link he gave is about the new owners of Newsweek who owns this ibtimes site. Isn’t interesting how this story came out after the story broke.

  47. Buckie says

    Anyone who believes that Jesus changes your sexuality is deluded and ridiculous.

    And anyone speaking in defense of it is an idiot.

    Just sayin’.

  48. Donny says

    EchtKultig – I agree with some of your points but there are definitely straight-identifying men who occasionally have sex with other men. While you could make the arguemnt that they are technically bisexual, they identify as straight; meaning they are most certainly physically attracted to women and emotionally fulfilled by women. And the majority of the time, the sex they are having is with women. Trust me, it happens.