Discrimination | Gay Pride | Grindr | New York

Grindr Pride Survey Reveals How Many of Its Users Aren't Proud Enough to Be Out

Just in time for this weekend’s New York City Pride, Grindr has conducted a survey asking its users about their coming out stories. According to the survey some 82% of Grindr users identify as having come out while the remaining 18% remain in the closet. 6% of users responded that they had no intentions of ever coming out. Grindr’s findings become more complicated when broken down by age group with 50% of users reporting coming while still in their teens.

Grindr_logo"It’s a great time to be gay -- not just because it’s pride season, but because the tide is shifting for our community,” said Grindr CEO Joel Simkhai in an email statement. “Our voices are being heard as laws are changing, people are getting married and we have more allies than ever before."

Grindr also found that setting often factored into whether or not individuals felt comfortable being public about their personal lives. While 81% of users claimed to be out to friends and family only 68% were out to coworkers, likely due to workplace discrimination concerns. The majority of respondents said that they came out of their own volition while 12% were outed.

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  1. And I hope many of these closeted guys actually *do* come down, or up, to join in Pride celebrations. Give yourselves even one day to no longer worry about "what others will think or say".

    Soak it up, be empowered by your brothers and sisters. the "i hate pride" crowd is often usually the "but i've never actually participated" crowd.

    sorta like how those gays who "don't need to read gay literature or see gay films" are always the least-empowered, least well-adjusted gay men.

    go bond. go connect. go be around people who have fought against injustice and merely through existing, through *being*, are helping change the world and the idea of 'the way things are'/

    proudly Out, to all. and no Grindr-shame, either.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jun 27, 2014 1:29:05 PM


  2. To no surprise Kiwi is all over this article right away with his 'special' blend of obnoxiousness.

    Posted by: kyrie | Jun 27, 2014 1:31:35 PM


  3. @KYRIE -- So I guess you're in the group that have no intention of ever coming out. Why else would you have so much hate for Out & Proud kiwi?

    Posted by: Gigi | Jun 27, 2014 1:35:16 PM


  4. Grindr is full of closeted guys. I realized just how much I had underestimated the number of gay and bisexual men when I downloaded the app.

    Posted by: Sergio | Jun 27, 2014 1:56:25 PM


  5. The reason they don't want to come out is because they don't want to be associated with men who wear dresses. The worst thing the "gay community" could have done was to connect themselves to men who wear wigs and dresses and say "Don't forget about the 'T' in LGBT." If gays had separated from trannys you would have a lot more men willing to be open about who they were.

    Posted by: Hmmm | Jun 27, 2014 2:06:42 PM


  6. "50% of users reporting coming while still in their teens."

    Only 50%?

    Posted by: Mike in the Tundra | Jun 27, 2014 2:07:30 PM


  7. so they stay closeted because they're too cowardly to stand alongside people who are proudly openly transgender?

    GOOD. we don't need cowards mucking it up for the rest of us who represent *ourselves* each day.

    like you, anonymous wimpy troll.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jun 27, 2014 2:12:47 PM


  8. If someone can't come out in San Francisco, they never will.

    Posted by: Ken | Jun 27, 2014 2:43:42 PM


  9. There's also some legit wimp-erg happening in the western world when it comes to Coming Out. I'm not talking about legit at-risk youth who fear for their lives and safety - but rather grown-@ss adults who refuse to come out, because "they don't want people to think they listen to Lady Gaga or go to Pride or are promiscuous" or some nonsense like that.
    We have brave young people all over the world standing up to be counted, facing jail time and violence and death sentences.

    Meanwhile, in north america, grown adults continue to choose to be closeted simply due to their EGOs.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jun 27, 2014 2:58:01 PM


  10. @Hmmm - Since when did you need to have to identify with a "community" before being your authentic self?

    Posted by: Albert | Jun 27, 2014 3:13:25 PM


  11. I hate Grindr.

    Posted by: Clint | Jun 27, 2014 4:41:17 PM


  12. @Gigi because Kiwi may be Out & Proud (which I am too, and married for 7 years so I don't need Grindr), but he's also mean, obnoxious, rude, craps on everyone that doesn't agree with 100% of what he says & thinks, and threatens violence. He also has zero redeeming qualities or assets except for the fact that he's gay, which is why he obsesses about everything gay and nothing else - cause it's all he has.

    He's also a dog person, which isn't surprising since dog people love to look to dogs to make up for their lack of love, affection, appreciation and respect they can't get from their own species.

    Why else do you think he's even on Grindr? He'll never be in a healthy relationship.

    Posted by: Kyrie | Jun 27, 2014 4:43:59 PM


  13. Given how many won't show their faces, or post a photo at all, I'd guess the "closeted" figure is more than 18%. Then again, it probably depends on your definition of "closeted."

    Posted by: KC | Jun 27, 2014 4:46:28 PM


  14. Then there's the real world for some of us who aren't trust fund babies or daddy owns the company or are in a gay-friendly industry or work an 8-5 job where nobody cares.

    I have clients, they are how I survive. Many of them would leave me if I was "out proud". I'm sure many here will now say "yes, but you'd get gay-friendly or gay clients and then you'll be fine!"

    Really?

    Like there's no gay people in my profession that don't already have those people as clients? And what do I do about my bills while I'm still trying to get all new clients? Do I just starve and suffer? Lose my house?

    Sorry, that doesn't cut it here in the homophobic midwest. I'll remain out to my friends and family, but I'm not going to out myself in any large way to the general public or my clients.

    Stand in my shoes for a moment and see what real life is like for some of us.

    Posted by: johnny | Jun 27, 2014 5:12:19 PM


  15. Very well said Johnny. I'm sure you-know-who will call you a coward, imply you have no balls, etc etc etc the usual stuff but those of us in the real world have lives beyond pride parades, Glee & Lady Gaga.

    Posted by: kyrie | Jun 27, 2014 5:19:01 PM


  16. I would say that Grindr enables people to decide how out they want to be without giving up sex, companionship, etc. Thanks to Grindr, men can meet other guys anonymously and/or in private without any need to risk going to public settings where they might be seen or recognized. It gives individuals a high level of control over what other people might know about them. I'm surprised the numbers aren't higher.

    Posted by: Profe Sancho Panza | Jun 27, 2014 5:33:39 PM


  17. Well, I may be playing devil's advocate but most of the guys I've talked and met on Grindr. I would ask them why not post an avi pic? Why hide? And majority of responses I've gotten were either "Because you can never trust anyone on it. Too many weirdos." And "Everyone can't mind their own business." And in a lot of respects. I do know where they're coming from. And I respect there decision.

    Posted by: MickyFlip | Jun 27, 2014 9:06:35 PM


  18. It's so interesting to see how many people are finally, even initially, sick of KIWI. I hope I've helped. He actually said not long ago that there is no reason why anyone in North America should not be out. No reason. Not for anyone. This is his level of both hysteria and error. There are endless reasons. Still and for a while yet.

    Posted by: UFFDA | Jun 27, 2014 10:40:16 PM


  19. @sancho panza,

    Grindr is nothing more than the digital 21st century version of sex hookup ads that people use to buy 'alternative' newspapers for. Nothing more noble than that.

    Posted by: ratbastard | Jun 28, 2014 7:43:22 AM


  20. @Johnny--No one has the right to expect you to give up your safety and wellbeing on behalf of other people in a "community". That's nonsense. If you feel like doing something altruistic you can always donate to an organization, even anonymously if you like.

    Otherwise, in terms of your clients wanting to leave you "if you were out", you may be surprised at how many "already know" and like you just the way you are. Some may even be coming to you because your service or products have extra value that they like...the sort of value that a gay guy gives to what he does...that sort of "I wouldn't want to do this biz any other way" sort of stuff.

    If the unique value you add doesn't get spoken to that is in one sense a sort of a loss, sort of an oppression and in another way neither here nor there...The key thing is you recognize the value you add for yourself, and continue giving it and the clients keep enjoying working with you and rewarding you for it...that makes the world go round...it also works in favor of the rest of us...esp. because you are giving a favorable impression to the ones who know but are polite and like you enough not to pry...so, Happy Gay Liberation day to you and all the best for your ongoing success.

    Posted by: mark | Jun 28, 2014 9:02:51 AM


  21. Thank you Mark for your kind, considered remark.

    I actually do donate to several causes for the gay community and my friends and family respect my decision to (for the moment, retirement is only 10 years away) stay professionally closeted while being out otherwise.

    I've never tied my sexuality to what I do for a living for 30+ years. I'm very good at my job and that is judged on it's own merits. It has nothing to do with my private life. The one and only time I ever revealed my sexuality with a potential employer, word spread and I was industry blacklisted for over 5 years and had to work at a night shift job doing something well below my pay grade. It took moving to another city to get back to where I was.

    People use my services because I'm good, not because I'm gay and good. It makes zero sense to try and re-package my business as "gay" and be the new kid on the block and then start over. I have plenty of clients who pay me very well and I've survived where many others (who have come out) have not.

    I don't feel "oppressed" because my sexuality has nothing to do with my profession. Even if I were straight, I doubt the subject of my private life would come up - ever. Why would it? I'm there to do a job, be professional, focus on my client's needs, get the work done, get paid and move on. They don't want an intimate conversation about private matters and neither do I. We're not going to become friends, I have plenty of those already. It's not necessary and they aren't going to gain anything from it, I'm not going to be someone's role model, they aren't in that age group.

    While some may think they know my story, they are professional and say nothing. While it's very important that my friends and family know, it's simply not important in the professional scheme of things.

    Posted by: johnny | Jun 28, 2014 10:59:30 AM


  22. Kudos to all the grown adults who stop giving excuses, who think about more than themselves and their cushy incomes, and come out to help others. You're the ones who change the world.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jun 28, 2014 11:32:44 AM


  23. @Johnny

    Good for you I mean it, but if you don't feel "oppressed" then why were you blacklisted from your industry for five years for being gay?

    I don't think you're seeing the situation all too clearly. You ARE being oppressed, but you're used to it so I guess you're OK with that.

    Posted by: Albert | Jun 28, 2014 2:40:32 PM


  24. Little Kiwi, you are truly the epitome of white male privilege. I have seen you mansplain sexism to lesbians. Earlier this week, you refused to accept criticism from a Muslim woman about your derogatory references to Muslim dress and instead lectured her. You constantly equate character traits like courage and honesty with having testicles and male genitalia.

    And now you lecture economically vulnerable people about how they have to live their lives. You. The privileged son of a corporate CFO. You, who is in his 30s and has never worked a real job for any length of time. You, who gave an interview recently and when asked what you do, replied that you hang out and read books. I cannot imagine how anyone tolerates your racism, sexism and classism for more than 5 minutes.

    Albert, I think he understands that he is being treated unfairly. He is choosing to deal with it in a way that minimizes the ability of the oppressor to harm him. It is his choice to make. So long as he makes some effort to help in other ways, like donating to LGB causes and being out with his family, he has nothing to apologize for.

    Posted by: Velaqua | Jun 29, 2014 1:19:48 AM


  25. KIWI is the spoiled prince of pigs.

    Posted by: UFFDA | Jun 29, 2014 3:27:25 AM


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