SNL opened on a jail cell this week “now that the Mueller Report turned out to be a big fat zero” and a trio of three inmates (Chris Redd, Kenan Thompson, Kyle Mooney) trying to one-up each other in lock-up: robbery, assault, and murder/cannibalism.
But none could out-do Kate McKinnon’s Lori Loughlin: “I paid 500 grand to get my daughter into USC. You heard me I paid 500 grand to a women’s crew coach to say my daughter’s good at rowing. I’m loco. … And that’s not including the 300 grand I blew on tuition. And you know what her job is now? She’s an ‘influencer’…on Instagram.”
Asked Redd: “Wait a second? Are you Aunt Becky?”
“Don’t say that again,” warned McKinnon’s Loughlin.
Pete Davidson’s Michael Avenatti also happened to be in the clink: “Did somebody say crazy? … I’m accused of crimes you can’t even conceive of. Like blackmailing a sneaker company. And stealing taxes from a coffee shop to fund a race car team. And I’m so shady that a porn star once said she needed to distance herself from me.”
Said McKinnon’s Loughlin: “Okay he wins. He’s the craziest.”
“Is he though?” asked Julian Assange (Michael Keaton), interjecting. “I’m the architect of anarchy. I’m the king of chaos. I’m the scourge of the cleaning staff at the Ecuadorian embassy.”