Paris Hilton's album may not suck. “Will Paris Hilton's upcoming Warner Bros. Records release (“dropping,” as her army of jr.-skanks-in-training might say, this summer) live up to its vast suck potential? Or, as the preliminary buzz may indicate, might it not turn out to be a half-decent dance record, throwing a nation into existential crisis as they curse the involuntary foot-tapping pleasures they are experiencing as they surrender to that most vile of things, the Paris Hilton side project?”

Was American Idol‘s Mandisa a victim of her anti-gay affiliation? Backstage: “The sentiment was clear; as one person put it, “Once you don't have the gays – forget about it.”

In the center ring, Rosie O'Donnell vs. Naomi Campbell:
“I just picture this cute little Mexican woman working saying, ‘Excuse me Miss Campbell can I possibly get you… ‘ and Naomi going, ‘Get away from me, bam bam bam!' To make matters worse she had that jewel-encrusted cell phone…She looks like you could snap her in two but she is a tough-ass, kick-ass woman and I would actually like to fight her. I think for all the people that she has beaten up, I think she needs a big 200 pound lesbian to kick her ass.'”