You could hear a pin drop at this year's TED Conference in Vancouver as relationship therapist Esther Perel addressed a rapt audience on the topic of infidelity.
"Why do we cheat? And why do happy people cheat? And when we say 'infidelity' what exactly do we mean? Is it a hook-up, a love story, hate sex, a chat room, a massage with happy endings? … And is an affair always the end of a relationship?" Perel asked, adding, "The definition of infidelity keeps expanding – sexting, watching porn, staying secretly active on dating apps."
In a gripping 20-minute talk recently posted online, Perel reveals what she has learned over her many years of research with couples about why they cheat, how they recover, and what it is that actually constitutes infidelity:
"A secretive relationship, an emotional connection, and a sexual alchemy. Alchemy is the key word here, because the erotic frisson is such that the kiss that you only imagine giving can be as powerful and enchanting as actual lovemaking. As Marcel Proust said, 'it is our imagination that is responsible for love, not the other person.' So it's never been easier to cheat, and it's never been more difficult to keep a secret."
Gain some insight, AFTER THE JUMP…
