HURRICANE IRMA. Latest models. Massive storm bears down on Florida: ‘Officials are cautioning Florida residents steeled by prior hurricanes to not underestimate Irma, which Gov. Rick Scott said would be “way bigger than Andrew,” referring to the major storm that hit the state in 1992. Brock Long, the FEMA administrator, cautioned that everyone in the Southeast United States, from Alabama to North Carolina, should be monitoring the storm and making preparations.'

CHRIS CHRISTIE. NJ Governor lost cabinet spot after failing to support Trump after pussy-grabbing tape, may now get job on CNN or MSNBC.

MARTIN SHKRELI. Feds want $5 million bail revoked after Shkreli offers Facebook followers $5000 for a lock of Hillary Clinton's hair: “Shkreli conduct since his conviction in early August has escalated and he poses a threat to the community, the prosecutors said in a letter to the judge late Thursday. In addition to his Facebook post concerning Hillary Clinton, which drew the attention of the Secret Service, he has made harassing comments to other women online, they said.”

CALL ME DICK. Christian Bale is transforming into Dick Cheney.

EQUIFAX. Class action suit filed after massive data breach: “On Thursday, the company announced that hackers had stolen Social Security numbers and other personal information belonging to 143 million people, leaving them potentially vulnerable to identity theft and fraud. Victims of the breach in Oregon have now filed a multibillion-dollar lawsuit.”

ANDREW SULLIVAN. The religious right's suicidal gay obsession.

DENVER. New gay bar hopes to save the gayborhood: “I was really excited to bring it back to the Uptown area,” Wedor says. “There isn't a casual, sit-down bar for the gay community anymore, for the LGBTQ. It's either a club, or you blend in somewhere downtown. I kind of missed that.”

LADY GAGA. She's done with music for a while.

TIM MURPHY. GOP congressman admits to extramarital affair: “Congressman Tim Murphy publicly admitted Wednesday to having an extramarital affair with a personal friend, issuing a statement about the relationship hours after the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette prevailed in a court motion to unseal a divorce action.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN. If my son wants to wear a dress, awesome.

VIDEO STABILIZATION OF THE DAY. Nipple gazing.