Actor Colton Haynes told the UK'sAttitude magazine that following the death of his mother and the split from his husband Jeff Leatham, his addiction to alcohol and drugs spiraled out of control
It was a spiral that started after he came out as gay, said Haynes: “I came out and, in a way, my downward spiral started. I felt extremely free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting was making me spin out of control.”
Then came two other major moments: “I got married and that didn't work out. That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right when that was going on, my mom died. At that point I fell apart. My brain broke.”
Haynes said he “got so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the amount of pain I was feeling that I couldn't even make some decisions for myself. I was drowning in my own shit.”
One week-long binge put the actor in the hospital after he was found heavily bruised at the Waldorf Astoria in Beverly Hills with a nearly-ruptured kidney and a partial loss of sight in one eye. He also had two seizures.
“In 10 years, there were maybe 25 days I didn't drink. I remember when I started, it was a couple glasses of wine, and it regressed into really dark times. I used to blame it on my anxiety or depression issues, but really the root of all my problems was the alcohol and drugs,” he said.
Haynes is in recovery now and said he's found an “amazing amount of true love for himself” and begun recognizing people who lift him up rather than tear him down.
Read the full interview HERE.
