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Cara Delevingne says growing up queer was “isolating and hard to navigate at times”.
The 29-year-old actress-and-model – who identifies as pansexual and has previously dated St. Vincent and Ashely Benson – is thankful that her older siblings, Poppy and Chloe, 35 and 36, respectively, were supportive but she admits she needed to navigate her sexuality for herself to find her true identity.
Speaking to The Sunday Times newspaper, she said: “Growing up as a queer child was isolating and hard to navigate at times. My sisters did their best to be there for me but it was something I had to go through myself to truly know who I was. I'm still on that journey and will continue to be for the rest of my life.”
Cara signed with Storm Management straight out of school and admits she was naive when she first started out in the modelling industry, but she has since come to “cherish” the fashion world.
She explained: “When I had my first modelling job at ten I wasn't aware of what I was doing, or the fashion and artistry that I now understand and cherish. With any job or path there's always a way to make some sort of change.”
The ‘Carnival Row' star also admitted she's always had a rebellious side and wants to “question” everything.
She added: “First and foremost I have always seen myself as a rebel, not as someone who wants to break rules but as someone who wants to question them. I love the word “naughty”, but only as an adult. To me naughty means someone who questions what they're told. I think at this point I might be the naughtiest of the three of us.”
The blonde beauty previously admitted she felt “suicidal” whilst struggling with her sexuality when she was a teenager.
Cara spent her youth battling with internalised homophobia as she grew up thinking same-sex relationships were “disgusting”.
She explained how her “old-fashioned” upbringing made her think there was something wrong with her when she developed feelings for other women, and explained she was so “ashamed” of who she was she contemplated taking her own life.
She said: “I grew up in an old-fashioned household. I didn't know anyone who was gay. I didn't know that was a thing and actually, I think growing up I was quite not noticeably, I wasn't knowledgeable of the fact I was homophobic. The idea of being same-sex [partners], I was disgusted by that, in myself. I was like, ‘Oh my God, I would never, that's disgusting, ugh'.
“I do correlate the massive depression and the suicidal moments of my life [to that] because I was so ashamed of ever being that. But actually, that was the part of me that I love so much and accept.”
The ‘Life in a Year' star even confessed there is “still a part” of her that “wishes” she was straight because of her “complicated” relationship with her sexuality.
She added: “There is still a part of me where I'm like, ‘Oh, I wish I could just be straight.' There is still that side to it. It is really complicated.”