Andy Dick: I’m Not Gay

Andy_dickComedian Andy Dick, starring in the new Dane Cook vehicle Employee of the Month, tells the Washington Post that he’s really tired of being identified as a homosexual, specifically referring to the infamous William Shatner roast at which he licked various people

“But they said something.” Meaning his fellow roasters. “I’m sure it had something to do with gay. That’s what they always do. That’s where they always go.” Dick rolls his eyes and makes swishy hand gestures. “I’m not even gay! Last year, it was anal warts, which I don’t have.” Makes a face. “This year, it’s AIDS and gay. Which I don’t have and I’m not. No and No. Just because I’ve been with guys, and I’m bi, doesn’t mean I’m gay.”

According to the paper, however, Dick continues to court this image (if anyone’s actually interested) in an upcoming live album in which he sings, “Hang out with me / Some people say / You might end up dead / Or worse, gay / But I pushed semihard / To get you to like me / Now I’m in your bedroom / On your TV.”

Somehow I don’t think this will end up on my Amazon wishlist.

Comments

  1. Rad says

    Memo: Andy Dick – Career Dead.

    I watched the train wreck a.k.a. “The Roast of William Shatner”. He was just not at all funny or even remotely amusing (then again, the whole show was horrendously awful).

    He’s just one of those irritating people who think’s he’s funny, much like David Spade (who had SOME marginal success going for him on “Just Shoot Me”).

  2. Michael W. says

    RAD: I think I prefer Andy Dick to David Spade (lesser of two evils)–I think your asertion about people thinking they’re funny applies way more to Spade, whom I can’t stand! He was watchable in Just Shoot Me but I can’t take him in anything else. Andy’s annoying but didn’t detract too much from News Radio, which is a very good series (well, until they lost Hartman).

    Another annoying person who thinks they’re way funnier than they actually are is Martin Short. Ugh!

  3. Zeke says

    Thank God!

    There are always those who are rumored to be gay that you just hope and pray aren’t.

    This would be one of those cases.

    What a DICK! And I don’t mean that in the good way.

  4. says

    Not gay? He used to come onto me (and simultaneously verbally assault me) all the time at Club Exit in 2002-03.

    At least 4 times! Always out his mind High on something, wearing a 3piece suit, and always start off with “you’re cute.. for a black guy”

    or “I’m not into black guys, but you are hot”

    or some like Bullshit.

  5. Jonathon says

    Andy Dick is just plain annoying. I just can’t imagine him having any sort of sex, gay or straight, that didn’t involve the exchange of currency.

    I sorta thought he was funny (in a sad way) on ‘Newsradio’, but he is really more of a pain than entertainment in my book.

  6. E-Vill Queen says

    For someone who isn’t gay, Andy sure did make a fool of himself outside of NYC’s Boysroom recently. He showed up at the bar piss drunk, but refused to pay the $5 cover, and instead stood ouside on the sidewalk eyeing all the guys as they left.
    I guess straight guys do that all the time?

  7. Kevin says

    Yeah, I don’t know why I bothered asking the question. While I know I’m currently* 100% gay, it seems perfectly logical to me that someone can be 50/50 or 80/20 or whatever. I don’t understand why other people (gay and straight) have such a problem with bisexuality.

    *and please God, I’ll stay gay. Being attracted to women now would freak me out.

  8. says

    Not gay? This takes denial to a new level. He went down on Tommy Lee (simulated) during the Pamela Anderson roast. As Lisa Lampanelli said in her skit at the Shatner roast, “Andy Dick is so gay even his chap stick is ass flavored.”

  9. Anon says

    For practical reasons along, bi guys tend to go one way or another eventually, with much protesting in between. They don’t bother me, but annoy a lot of gay guys because it’s always so coy. I’ve never even kissed a girl, did I miss anything?

  10. Kevin says

    Re above: Nope, scored with a few girls but never did anything for me. However, I have gotten one of my fingers sucked by a couple of female friends and it was VERY erotic. If it had gone on any longer I’d say I would have gotten a stiffy. Male friend (straight) sucked a finger too but it was disappointing. I could tell he wasn’t giving it his all though.

  11. Kevin says

    Oh… em…. I’m not sure. We were all very drunk. It was my last night working with him. His girlfriend sucked my finger first, then he did it. Then we scored (briefly) a few times. Which was a LOT better. But again it didn’t mean anything. I like the fact that he’s comfortable enough to do it. Like one of my male friends was very disturbed by ANY male touching him (not just gaybos like me) which makes me more suspicious than someone who can mess around.

  12. So Left I'm Right says

    Andy Dick must die. Queer as a three-dollar bill. There are bi guys, I’ve met a few genuine ones, but they are very few and far between. This dude is just a sad, pathetic, unfunny clown. Puleeez with the denial shit.

  13. dave says

    Kevin – you must be kinda hot yourself to get the attenton. But what does “scored (briefly)” mean?
    I’ve had a woman who was interested in me play with my ear – that’s right, ear – and it turned me on and made me blush. Never had a guy do that – but guy’s are soooo much sexier.

  14. Kevin says

    Dave: “scored briefly” means it was kissing with tongues but it only lasted a few seconds. We were in/outside a straight pub that night.

    As for me being hot, I’m alright. I’m not really my type if you know what I mean. My looks didn’t matter though cos the first time I scored with him – and two other straight male friends – it was during a game of (very drunk) spin the bottle (yes, at the age of 25). And fair fucks to them, none of them held back. But, even though all 3 of them are easily the best looking guys I’ve ever scored with, I never got turned on. Good memories though!

  15. Anon says

    Kevin: your story is a tad shocking. You have the most unselfconscious str8 friends I’ve heard of. I suspect they were trying to find out if they would get turned on by the whole thing.

  16. Zeke says

    It’s been my experience, that the vast majority of people who self-identify as bi only do so among gay people. Among straights, they identify as straight.

    How people define “bisexual” is also extremely varied. I’ve met people who seem to believe that if they’ve EVER had an orgasm with a woman or ever beaten off to a straight porno, it means they’re bi.

    I CAN throw a ball and write my name with my left hand, that doesn’t make me ambidextrous. Studies have shown that most people, especially young people, who call themselves “ambidextrous” don’t technically qualify as such. It seems reasonable to me that the same could be said for the term bisexual.

    Of course there are bisexuals, but it’s ridiculous to assume that everyone who claims to be one is one.

    After all, how many of us once called ourselves bi when we actually were never anything other than a big ole homo. I have to raise my hand. :)

    As for Andy Dick, I prefer to think of him as asexual. I sleep better at night thinking that he doesn’t have sex and will never reproduce.

    Let the flame war commence…..

  17. KateCruise says

    Years ago on ET Mr. Dick said that he doesn’t conseider himself gay, but he isn’t “straight as an arrow.” He implied that he prefers men but will do a chick now and then.

  18. says

    Um, I think he’s kidding. Anal warts, swishy hand movements……the flaming “not-gay” routine is part of his schtick. The only thing that keeps it kinda hard to follow is his claim that he’s bi. I think that’s because he’s been spotted trying to get with guys, so he can’t claim to be completely straight. I thought his reality show was kinda funny (but got annoying quickly), with his model girlfriends. I just knew he was playing.

    But that “cute for a Black guy shit” isn’t cool.

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