10/23/2006
Anti-gay Houston Landscaper Garden Guy Reaps What He Sows
Last week an email sent from Houston business owners Todd and Sabrina Farber to a gay man and his partner interested in finding a landscaper for their new home blew up as the outraged couple's anger expanded to include hundreds of others to whom the email had been forwarded.
The email, sent following the inquiry from Michael Lord about a quote to do landscaping work, read in part: "Dear Mr. Lord, I am appreciative of your time on the phone today and glad you contacted us. I need to tell you that we cannot meet with you because we choose not to work for homosexuals. Best of luck in finding someone else to fill your landscaping needs. All my best, Sabrina."
Immediately the email became a viral bullet, inspiring hundreds of emails to the landscaping business and angry postings on internet forums dedicated to gardening, including one on the couple's website, Garden Guy, Inc.
The couple reported that they have had to unlist their phone number and turn off their office phone due to the amount of phone calls they received. Said Sabrina Farber: "We have experienced threats on Todd's life. One was, 'You'd better watch your back, something's going to happen to your husband.' I woke up this morning to e-mails full of profanities." She described the experience to Rick Casey of the Houston Chronicle as being "privileged to see just what happens when you make the homosexuals and the devil mad."
Casey actually defends the Farbers and their 'suffering':
"Those who lashed out at the Farbers were probably no more representative of gays as whole than the Farbers are of Christians as a whole. But there is no excuse for hateful phone calls, e-mails and forum postings, much less death threats. And certainly not for the Internet posting of the Farbers' home address and phone number. (Nor for the posting of the address and driver's license numbers of the gay couple they turned down.) This is one ugly side of the Internet, its ability with its international reach to magnify the rancid spewings of a relative few. The Farbers shouldn't be going through what they are suffering."
The Garden Guy website says that the company is a member of the Association of Professional Landscape Designers, but that group says that it is not: "APLD does not support discriminating against clients based on sexual orientation. APLD will take steps to see that the former member ceases any representation that he or she continues to be a member of APLD."
The Farbers, whose Garden Guy website quotes scripture and promotes 'traditional' marriage) issued something of an apology on Friday afternoon: "We did not refuse service with malicious intent. We do not hate homosexuals and we are sorry that we hurt [ the gay couple ]. We meant to uphold our right as a small business owner to choose who our clients are. We are humbly sorry for the hurt that it has caused."
Here's the kicker however. The Farbers did nothing illegal (video). While Texas cities Austin, Dallas, Fort Worth and El Paso all have ordinances prohibiting discrimnation based on sexual orientation, Houston does not. So while the Farbers' behavior is certainly deplorable and bigoted, it's not illegal. Houston's laws, unfortunately, endorse this kind of bigotry.
Posted 9:16 AM EST by Andy in Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Houston, News, Texas | Permalink
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Wait a sec, how do houston's laws endorse bigotry by not preventing it? I don't agree with your either/or logic. What if, there was a problem that just needed remedying, not "HOUSTON'S LAWS, UNFORTUNATELY, ENDORSE THIS KIND OF BIGOTRY!" oops I added that last exclaimation mark, but that's how it sounded to me. I think the people affected by these issues, in Houston, should, if they feel like it, do something about. Not get moody and postured with that "with us or against us" shit.
Posted by: Scott A | Oct 23, 2006 9:31:18 AM
Naturally, the landscaping company owners are presented as the "victims" of "homosexuals and the devil." It's always the fault of the evil homosexuals and their agenda, never the fault of the so-called Christians who were purposely rude and seem to think they're entitled to impose their narrow religion on others. There are neutral ways to turn down business from people you don't want to work with, but they chose to judge the gay men they claim to "love" and display their ignorance.
Posted by: sam | Oct 23, 2006 9:40:17 AM
The landscapers are entitled to their idiotic views. They do not want to work for gays. Fine.
Everyone else is entitled to publicise those views to ensure people who do not want to employ or associate with bigots can avoid them.
It sounds like everything is working the way it should.
Posted by: karashi | Oct 23, 2006 9:46:17 AM
One more thing, notice that they turned down the gay couple in an email, and not by phone or face-to-face? It's so much easier to spread hate (the hate they call "love") in an email, but it takes courage to speak your convictions in person.
Posted by: sam | Oct 23, 2006 9:46:47 AM
LOL... it's awful but the idea of this poor family being terrorized by gays is hilarious. also, i can't wait until one of their sons comes out later in life (i think it's the one in the yellow shirt. how gay is that pose??)
Posted by: Ryan | Oct 23, 2006 9:51:48 AM
Sorry, but if you believe so stongly that being gay is bad, then why in the hell would you work in one of the gayest industries out there?
Posted by: RichB | Oct 23, 2006 9:54:59 AM
I'm not convinced that the Farber's did anything wrong.
The email they sent to the gay couple was polite. They didn't say anything demeaning about gays -- or that gay couple in particular. As a private business, they exercised their right to do business with whomever they choose.
I'm disheartened that their choice was met with vitriol and death threats. I make decisions similar to the Farber's all the time. I choose not to do business with right wing Republicans; I avoid anti-choice organizations and organizations that support anti-choice legislation. I don't send death threats to those places; I simply don't do business.
It's unfortunate that in this instance, it's we gays who look like the bad guys. Mostly because, in this instance, we are.
Posted by: Mike B. | Oct 23, 2006 9:59:43 AM
Wow. They were so polite about it. "Best of luck... all my best". And I have to say I agree with Casey when he says that "...there is no excuse for hateful phone calls, e-mails and forum postings, much less death threats." Their niceness makes me feel sorry for them. They seem so misguided, being so foolish caring about something so insignificant (to me, anyway).
Otherwise I agree with Karashi. The most damaging outcome for them is the loss of business. It's sad that money has more of an effect than considering someone else's feelings.
Posted by: Kevin | Oct 23, 2006 10:00:43 AM
Have to agree with the posters above - anti-discrimination laws should not prevent business owners from choosing who they take on as customers. I would rather know up front that I'm dealing with pseudo-Christian haters than get little hints and subtle threats along the way. That said - glad to see these people got villified like this.
Posted by: Ricky | Oct 23, 2006 10:02:05 AM
It's easy to view these people as hateful bigots but the reality may be ignorance, although one finds it hard to believe that someone employed in Landscape Design would not know a single homosexual.
Of course the hate mail only confirmed much of their self righteousness. Many Christians believe themselves to be victims. They teach and are taught that the world of the "unbelievers" does not understand or tolerate their faith and would throw them to the lions if given a chance.
This kind of ignorance won't be changed with threats and profanity... that only reinforces it.
But a designer who won't work with gays? That's not ignorance, that's sheer stupidity.
And it's off topic, but in regards to that picture.... I don't have anything against straights but when they flaunt their lifestyle with all that breeding and those offspring, I just wish they didn't have to shove it in my face like that.
Posted by: mark m | Oct 23, 2006 10:02:56 AM
The funniest part is, if they're supposed to be evangelical Christians, their refusal to work for homosexuals completely flies in the face of what they supposedly believe.
If you consider all homosexuals not only sinners but also "unsaved," then you should want to put yourself in a position where you can "witness" to these nonChristians and show yourself as a supposed example of the "right way" to live.
So if they're going to follow WWJD, they need to do a 180 on their approach.
Posted by: Steve | Oct 23, 2006 10:11:21 AM
Ha. Good post Mark M. As you said, I don't think death threats and the like will accomplise anything. You don't change a person's opinion of you by being an asshole to them.
Posted by: Kevin | Oct 23, 2006 10:12:42 AM
Interesting... I would probably not hire someone if I knew they were outgoing, charismatic Christians, any more than these folks would hire me for being an outgoing, unabashed homosexual. And for the same circumstances; I have about as much interest in hearing the pin-headed belief system these wretched souls put their lives behind as they have in seeing me hug my partner.
Let them cater to their own, I'll cater to my own.
Rad
Posted by: Rad | Oct 23, 2006 10:28:12 AM
God, black people are so homophobic. How would they feel if someone refused their business because they are - WAIT, they are white? I guess I can't use that standard towleroad comment!
I guess white people can be bigoted as well without it being representative of endemic bias....or maybe not
Posted by: forreal | Oct 23, 2006 10:31:51 AM
"anti-discrimination laws should not prevent business owners from choosing who they take on as customers." Yeah, let's keep them uppity Sodomites from believing they should have the same rights as anyone "free, straight, and 21" from eating at the same lunch counters, sitting in the same section of the bus or the bus station waiting room or the movie theatre, or staying at the same hotel, or....
We are not still second class citizens because of what Bush, Rove, Dobson, Falwell, Santorum, ad nauseum think about us but because of what too many of us think about us.
Posted by: Leland | Oct 23, 2006 10:37:21 AM
I have no sympathy for the Farbers. It's a classic case of "you reap what your sow."
Was some of the reaction over the line? Yes. Just imagine the press reaction if they had said "We don't do business with Jews" or "heathen Moslems."
Posted by: Mikeprov1 | Oct 23, 2006 10:48:29 AM
It's sad, but it's very true FORREAL, very true.
Posted by: FullHouse | Oct 23, 2006 11:01:43 AM
The only way the Farbers can save their Garden Guy business is by issuing the following press release:
"We would like everyone to know that we are not homophobic. We are alcoholics and are checking ourselves into rehab. You see, we didn't actually mean the hateful things we said...it was just the influence of alcohol. Please forgive us and give us your business again."
Posted by: Chesnut | Oct 23, 2006 11:08:53 AM
While death threats (and posting the Farbers personal information) were clearly inappropriate (in my view), the rest of the firestorm is perfectly justified -- you don't want to do business with gays, your business is going to suffer, period. Don't worry about the Farbers, they're enjoying being martyrs, I'm sure.
But I'm appalled at the number of commenters saying, hey, if they want to discriminate against gays, that's their right. For crying out loud, would you say the same thing if they said, sorry, we don't do business with blacks? or Jews? Or what if a Muslim landscaper said we don't do business with Christians? You think the Farbers and their ilk would say, oh well, that's their right. God, the pitchforks and torchlights would be out in a flash.
Posted by: Glenn | Oct 23, 2006 11:12:49 AM
It's at a time like this I'm reminded of the classic South Park episode about Big Gay AL being kicked out of scouts for being gay, and then the boys end up getting the laws changed so that he can be a scout master again. But he doesn't do it, he decides that it's not fair or right to change the law to force someone to let them be a member of their private club (although this situation right now is different heh) so he says he will continue to try to persuade them to his viewpoint and doesn't go back to being a scoutmaster. Anyways, I see how it's similar to the way store owners treated African Americans at times but, where does it differ? Those store owners might have been forced by the law to give equal patronage, but until they settled it internally, it's still the same. And, I wouldn't *want* to do business with someone who didn't want to do business with me.
Posted by: Scott A | Oct 23, 2006 11:23:35 AM
I love that people like this call themselves Christians. What hypocritical nonsense. I wish that they would realize that bigotry and hatred are not Christian at all.
Posted by: duane | Oct 23, 2006 11:29:13 AM
Rick Casey, who covered the story, writes:
"Were I posting, I would commend the Farbers for standing by their principles in an age where money trumps all."
His e-mail address:
rick.casey@chron.com
Perhaps the journalist deserves some input from us gays?
Posted by: jmg | Oct 23, 2006 11:38:38 AM
"I love that people like this call themselves Christians. What hypocritical nonsense. I wish that they would realize that bigotry and hatred are not Christian at all."
I don't know where you get that. Actually, that's disingenuous. I do know where you got that. You got it from the Bible. However, the Bible is loosely enough written that any group can find verses in there to support any number of positions -- position untenable to the oppositions.
"For crying out loud, would you say the same thing if they said, sorry, we don't do business with blacks? or Jews? Or what if a Muslim landscaper said we don't do business with Christians?"
That gave me a moment of pause. I thought about it. And I'm going with "situational ethics" here. The situation is -- they weren't denying the gays healthcare, housing, or employment. They didn't want to do landscaping for the gays. Turns out, there's a whole industry of landscapers out there -- and I'm willing to bet that some people out there are willing to take queer dollars as easily as non-queer.
I just feel that in the matter of private business, we have to allow folks the freedom to conduct that business the way they see fit. Again: I don't think the Christian heterosexual couple in this story did anything wrong.
Posted by: Mike B. | Oct 23, 2006 11:57:07 AM
I'm not sure, but I think it was Mark Twain who said "If Jesus came back today, the one thing he would NOT be is a Christian."
Posted by: Chesnut | Oct 23, 2006 11:58:18 AM
I hope people aren't confusing hiring decisions with sales decisions. When you turn down a sale you are in effect punishing yourself by skipping out on the cash. The law treats these two things differently. The '64 civil rights act barred discrimination based on race and religion to override state segregation laws. There was no period whereby the state laws were thrown out but the proprietors could turn down business based on race. We will never know what would have happened. Every economist will tell you that discrimination hurts your business, you will either turn down cash from a sale or pay a premium for labor. Most regulations are designed to prevent sales, such as alcohol to minors, however.
Posted by: Anon | Oct 23, 2006 12:01:47 PM