Neil Patrick Harris: I’m Gay

HarrisLess than two weeks after a columnist at suggested that actor Neil Patrick Harris (still familiarly known to many as Doogie Howser, MD), 33, had offered his “longtime sweetheart” David Burtka a role on the sitcom How I Met Your Mother, Harris has come out of the closet.’s claim that Harris was involved with a man inspired an alleged denial from Harris’ publicist that was published without attribution by They quoted a Harris publicist as saying, “He’s not of that persuasion.”

Harris was apparently as displeased by the reported statement as many others were. In a statement to People magazine, Harris appeared keen on quashing the reports that he had denied it.

Said Harris: “The public eye has always been kind to me, and until recently I have been able to live a pretty normal life. Now it seems there is speculation and interest in my private life and relationships. So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love.”

EXCLUSIVE: Neil Patrick Harris Tells PEOPLE He Is Gay [people]

Grey’s Anatomy Actor T.R. Knight: “I’m Gay” [tr]
Lance Bass: “I’m Gay” [tr]


  1. mark m says

    What I like about all of the coming out this year is that it sends a message that there is nothing shameful about coming out…but there IS something shameful in being a closeted hypocrite.

  2. Jim says

    Wow. KJ and JL chose the perfect words. A statement full of class, its power magnified by its very simplicity. No “I’m not ashamed” which could be read by those who want to as, “I SHOULD be ashamed but I’m not.” And not a single, premeditated knee in the groin of “crazy gay activists.”

  3. Rob (lrdarystar) says

    I said before: “I love NPH. No matter what, I hope he’s happy. If he is gay then hopefully he’ll one day soon be able to come out for himself and everyone else afterwards.”

    And I’m glad that day came so soon! Love him!

  4. Mark Hutt says

    At a time when the toxic closet is on full display, NPH’s statement is breath of fresh air & will have a postive impact on young men and women everywhere.

  5. Andrew says

    OMG. Some of you are the same people who were bashing him last week. I know I was. This is not a monumental move in the gay community. Yes-a first start. I want the truly closeted fags to come out. We all knew he was gay-how about the others. Mr Jolie?

  6. jay says

    You are truly a bitter human being. This is one man’s personal journey and no one is saying it’s monumental-but in times where preachers like Ted Haggard and Congressman Mark Foley show the underbelly of what being closeted and self-hating can do to gay men- NPH’s coming out is quite significant and a welcome change. People are merely applauding the fact he came out in a public arena. No different than when friends of ours come out at work, to family, etc., we congratulate them as we all know what an emotional process it can be. S

    You want all the “truly closeted fags to come out”?!? This is what you’re spending your days on? Why not examine your own need to use a word like “fag.”

    You are precisely the reason why people in the public eye don’t want to come out because they are greeted by bitter, snarky comments by the likes of people like you.

  7. PSMike says

    Christ…..snarky IS this fucked up room. People were all nasty on him earlier in the week..because you fucked up NYC fags (yes..that word on purpose…you don’t like it start bitchin ‘ to Andy about changing it on his PAID advertising), and the holier than thou still moaning about their mommas bash anyone and everyone who doesn’t agree with them that second. This guy came out…and he came out when it STILL might endanger his career…something none of you precious queens ever give a shit about. The best thing that could happen for gays today is for most of us..yes me too (but then I have been for months) to just shut the fuck up.

  8. Leland says

    At the risk of just leaving food out for a cocksuckingroach like you, Andrew, please forgive me for pointing out to you and everyone else who repeatedly, absurdly announces, “WE ALL KNEW” Lance is gay, Anderson Cooper is gay, Tom Cruise is gay, John Travolta is gay, T.R. Knight is gay, Harris is gay, fill in the blank,” that omniscience doesn’t exist but omnipresent obnoxiousness does. Get out much? You write like a dog licks its own ass—just because you can.

  9. otto says

    with the correction…

    Funny u would say that. I CAN Lick my ass, and I do get out alot. I guess God shined on me.

  10. Felix says

    Bravo for Neil. He is a young, handsome and talented man who is not afraid of clearing up rumors about his personal life. I hope we had some of that here in Mexico.

  11. JdEB says

    So Mr. Harris came out, finally. Good for him, and may he have a long career playing against type. And who cares who comes out or when, just that they DO? Andrew, it seems to me that you’d have better things to do than to wonder who’s gay and who’s not and what they’re going to do in their privates lives – isn’t that WHY it’s called “private”?

  12. Brian says

    I for one never said anything about NPH. I think his statement was really classy, and I love that it obviously came out as a result of his being pissed off at his publicist’s denial. People come out when they’re ready, and that readiness is often dictated by the amount that the person stands to lose. I also don’t think there’s any comparison between NPH coming out and Mark Foley’s imbroglio. You can’t compare an actor who has been relatively silent about political issues with a politician who has for years been pushing a political party’s agenda that is directly opposed to our (and his) civil liberties.

    Good for you, Doogie.

  13. Tom says

    I don’t want to get embroiled in this, but Jay and Leland, aren’t you guys overreacting here? Come on! Maybe just a little bit? Yes, pretty much everyone knew NPH was gay. There’s about three degrees of separation between most gay men in the major cities of America, and word spreads. If you didn’t know, maybe you need to get out and make some more friends.

    And entertainers don’t stay in the closet out of fear of snarky queens on the boards of gay blogs–I think the fear of not working is a much bigger motivator.

  14. Heyzeus Chreestos, people. says

    No, EVERYONE does not know NPH is gay, Tom. He didn’t come out to the gay folks and the folks who separate them by three degress – he came out to the Marges and Henrys of Middle America, the folks who don’t troll Datalounge, Towleroad, and Perez Hilton on a daily basis.

  15. Heyzeus Chreestos, the Remix says

    By the way, best of luck to Neil Patrick Harris. Hope his career is long and prosperous.

  16. RB says

    Andrew you sound so bitter and jaded here! I thought Leland and Jay made those points well.

    There is nothing more personal that coming out. Some of us do it the right way and early in life and some of us really mess it up later in life. Either way, they are out and cannot go back! I thought NPH’s statement was done with a great deal of dignity and class. Good for him…I wish hime the best!

    Unless someone is out there bashing our cause the way Ted Haggard was, leave them in their closet. We all have our own time and place. If you are living your life in a way that does not hurt other people and are not ranting homophobic trash then who cares what keeps you in the closet. It is simply not that person’s time, and NOT anyone’s business!

    Tom makes a good point as well in that they are concerned for their future work! Whatever the reason they are entitled to their time.

    Please do not confuse this in anyway with Haggard!!! He was publically out to destroy us while privately playing. There is NO EXCUSE for that! If you are a public person preaching hate and want to stay in the closet good luck. Hopefully you will get drug out! IF you are a private person, come out when you want to. If ever…you are the only person you are hurting.

  17. tomtom says

    I think what may be lost here with the argument over who is bitter and who can lick their own ass, is a fundamental question. Wasn’t this guy already out? By all accounts including NPH, he was living an open lifestyle for many years now. In fact some of you spent most of the week recounting every gay detail of this man’s life for the past ten years.

    So this begs another question, can a person be out only when he is out to People magazine? In other words, is a person not out just because you and Sally-Mae from Nebraska don’t know they are gay? How many of these actors, athletes and other celebrities are out to their families and friends, and maybe even some co-workers. Which is a level of “outness” that is perfectly acceptable to most of us. And lets avoid the bs about how being in these positions and out allows some how endows them with powers to move the fight for our rights. People go to see Actors pretend to be other people. We go to hear singers sing and athletes win, none of this gives them any more power then any of us, though probably a hell of a lot more cash.

    So do we care whether or not any of these peoples are “out” or do we care that we are not “in” on the secret?

  18. Anon says

    The problem, tomtom, is that the mainstream press will not report on gay men’s social circumstances unless they issue a press release like this one. They have a don’t reveal/don’t tell policy that waits for an official pronouncement. The gay press and the Internet is much more casual, which is how find out about things way before middle America. The dichotomy created is only seen by people who read the independent sources. It can be blamed on the actors who know these rules very well, or it can be blamed on the media, but the media will get protests if it changes its policy, so to protect themselves they don’t report on it, and this leaves the normalcy of gay life in doubt, like it’s scandalous to have a boyfriend or something. NPH knew the rules very well, never confirming or denying and so got the best (as he stated) press he could.

  19. RB says

    Tomtom, I think you said this better than I! Not everyone has to “just jack” to be considered out. Many of us are out to our families and friends but do not feel the need to out everywhere and to everyone! There are no degrees of gay. Just like pregnancy, you either are or you are not. Who cares if you live you life in the closet so long as you are not hurting anyone. Again, the only person that can be hurt by living in the closet is that person themself!

  20. sam says

    He could easily have just kept quiet and let his publicist’s statement stand and few people would have noticed. But, instead, he chose to make things clear in a classy, affirming way. What a guy. I think we’re seeing the start of a trend here and closets, Hollywood, Republican, and otherwise, are quickly becoming anacronisms of the past.

  21. rob adams says

    Sometimes i view comments here just to see the carnage; It’s amazing how a minority, when given its own space, *sometimes* so readily consumes its own — and often with such otherwise beautifully formed prose. What they do with such freedom of expression is a true measure of their values and those value’s cultural longevity.

    Welcome the generational divide.
    Purge the mean-spirited, while
    there’s still a gay-culture to salvage.

  22. says

    Hell, I didn’t know he was gay. He’s just a funny-as-hell guy that I watch in some movies here and there (his part in Undercover Brother was one of the funniest things I’ve seen forever). So he was really coming out to people like me: straight, fans who had no idea about his sexual preferences.

    Here’s to him for a no-waffling, honest, classy statement, and here’s to his continued happiness in life.

    I have to say, though, that our fascination and demands about our public figures’ personal lives bothers me. What a person wants to share with the class is entirely up to them–they don’t owe the rest of us a damned thing when it comes to whether they are sleeping with boys or girls. It’s none of our business.

    Lastly, in the interest of full disclosure, this comment is coming from a straight, Christian Republican. Was he taking a risk in coming out to people like me? I suppose a small one; but the bias against the gay community ain’t what it used to be.

    Judging from what little I know about the guy, I would doubt that it was fear that kept him from coming out in a public way; I imagine it was more that he didn’t want his sexuality to be the big focus on his life or career.

    But, then, what the hell do I know? I’ve never met the man and I don’t have an undying interest in his personal sexual secrets. I’m just happy we all get to enjoy the public aspect of his life: the talented man who makes us all laugh.

  23. Larry says

    I left Perez Hilton a loooong time ago due to his tacky behavior and what I thought was insensitivity to other homos. Now I’m reading that he is claiming that he is responsible for NPH coming out. How true is this? I don’t want to go back to his site to check, as I was quite addicted for a long time. What is most of you guys take on this?

  24. EtotheG says

    Does being “out” to ones family & friends, but not to the general public (or people whose business it is none of) make one any less “out” than the person with a rainbow sticker on their car? I consider myself to be “out”, but I don’t feel it necessary to proclaim this to strangers… Just like I don’t tell everyone I’m a Christian.

    Just wondering…

    Love you the same today as I did a week ago Neil.

  25. devout_skeptic says

    Begs the question; is it possible for someone in the public eye to be privately gay? Apparently not. Or at least not yet. The day when the obligation to publically “confess” all is past will be the day when it is possible. Is it encumbent on everyone who is gay to issue an Official Statement on the matter? I would hope no anymore than it is encumbent on any straight public figure to alert the media regarding developments in their personal circs – divorce, marriage, death whatever. These are matters about which the individual should decide how much to reveal or indeed whether to speak about them at all.

  26. Matt says

    Congratulations & well done to Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka!
    Wishing you both all the best in life.

  27. spazmo says

    NPH is also the name of the Insulin I’m taking.

    Next time I give myself a shot I’ll smile and picture Dr. Doogie!

    Cute as a button, he is.

  28. Andrew says

    wow. andrew did not give send bitterness. some folks brought it. it’s only a gay dude-we see them everyday. calm down.

  29. says

    TomTom, RB, Rob Adams and ZombyBoy got it right, if you ask me. Why is it that we are so fascinated with these people? If we, as private citizens, demand that our sexuality not be a spotlighted focal tantamount to our totality, why do we then go and demand the same from those in the public eye? The man was obviously doing his thing openly, otherwise. Why is it that we NEED to hear him “confess” it, like it’s a prereq to acceptance from our community? It’s like we’re creating our own double standard and catch 22 at the same time. I know, it’s “inspirational” to some and he could be a “role model” to some, but I’ve never personally been comfortable with hawking total strangers to real people as role models. And we all sit here and look at the Paris Hilton sex tape scandals and the like, and we say “why is this relevant?” but why is it therefore relevant whom Anderson Cooper or NPH goes to bed with at night? And if our argument to social conservatives regarding equal rights in the social arena is that we are people, not a sexual preference, why demand these people become People Magazine covers with the word’s “I’M Gay!” plastered in huge letters above their mugs?

    Coming out, I think, is different for everyone and I know there are some gays who regard public figures disclosing their sexuality as necessary as well as those like me who say “who cares?” I can respect that. But, I think, our community has a terrible tendency to mis-focus our energy. Why such obviously intelligent people on here sometimes sink themselves to caustic, bitter and downright mean behaviour over something as simple as an internet posting, is beyond me. And over an opinion that you didn’t agree with? Does that make any sense? Some of us who gripe about how the mainstream belittles our significance and seeks to tear us down, might wanna stop throwing stones in their glass houses.

    On that, I respect NPH for his statement. However, my life is no different today than it was yesterday because of it. But let it be known, I don’t want to hear “yes, I’m gay,” because a celeb is forced out by the media or some scandal or by the gay community. Just as much as I’d rather not hear Brad Pitt’s “yes, I f*cked Angelina doggy style last night” on the same token. NPH, Lance, Ellen and co., congrats on everything. Nothing but respect for you guys. But don’t take it personal that I don’t expect every single homo to shout it out the same way.

  30. Scott & Bruce says

    I am very happy for Neil and Lance and Reichen. I know it took huge plums for the first two to do what they did. If anyone is to blame for peeking into ones’ bedroom it would be other media, not Andy. If and when, and only when, any celebrity wants to open his or her bedroom door to the world, then at that time it is open for any and all to voice their opinion, good or bad. I handily offer my kudos to them, though for letting us into their lives. They didn’t have to. We are priviledged, and yes, interested, lest we would not have read the stories. So get off your nasty Andy tirade, and celebrate the fact someone has bigger balls than you and has announced, as an actor on a hit show, I am going to risk EVERYTHING to answer your question honestly, and admit, yes, I suck cock.
    Get over it, I have a scene to shoot!!!

  31. 000000 says

    Right on, Derrick.
    But for many there will always be the thrill of speculation. The drama of their own disclosure magnified on a celebrity scale beats watching soaps. I certainly didn’t know about NPH, nor did I care. Not McDreamy enough to get me interested. How about spending time boning up on how your elected representatives view gays, so that you don’t make an ass-backwards choice at the polls on Tuesday?

  32. Norman C. says

    It’s good to finally read some “real truths” from a well known “classy” actor, and not just a “No Comment”. Goodluck.

  33. Andrew licks his ass says

    If he’s “only a gay dude”, then why the hell are you commenting Andrew? It’s not like everyone here is about to throw a parade for NPH, but what’s wrong with just being happy for the guy? And even if everyone knew or suspected that he was gay in the first place, I think it still takes a lot of guts for any celeb to publicly say “I’m gay” instead of dodging the rumors and questions. GOOD FOR HIM! It may not be a monumental step for the gay community, but I think it’s an improvement and a step ahead in the right direction. I wish him nothing but the best.

    And unlike you, I wasn’t bashing NPH. I’m better than that, and I do think it’s sad that many stooped to the Perez Hilton level of degrading him before he even had a chance to publicly say anything about the situation. It was his agent, not him, who said that he wasn’t gay. Bash the idiot agent, not Neil.

    And your statement about the truly closeted fags… is that how you see gay men in general? As fags? I guess that’s exactly how you see yourself then, right? Grow the hell up.

  34. Anon says

    Problems to solve: homophobia, celebrity worship, hypocricy, pandering to the lowest common denominator and publicity seeking. Once done we can enter the appointed realm when these sorts of announcements don’t matter. Should the press not have published NPH’s statement?

  35. CaliNexus says

    And thus the self-outing epidemic begins…

    And to “000000” who wrote: “Witch hunt case #35988 solved. Y’all happy now?”

    You win the prize.

  36. matt90814 says

    I hope NPH has a long and happy life and career. I can only imagine the fear of coming out, possibly placing your chosen life’s work at risk. I welcome reading the many gay publications that will undoubtedly place him on their cover and claim the “exclusive” interview. It will be the same ones that villified him before for not being open, I’m sure.

  37. anon says

    “I wish him all happiness in his life….”
    MY ASS
    Weren’t some of you calling NPH a bigot among other adjetives the previous posting, because he doesn’t scream “I’M GAY” everyday of his life? You guys are after a good witch hunt just as much as everyone else. Admit it. Who’s the bigot?
    There’s other ways of making public figures slowly transition their comming out, by not pushing them off a ledge. JOBS AND MONEY ARE ON THE LINE loss of marketability. It’s not only themselves the have to worry about. Think people THINK.. economics not ideals. When are you going to stop throwing the same stone back the world has thrown at you?!?!

  38. Cloven Hooves says

    NPH has had more intimate secrets.
    I remember years ago when I worked in a noted Doctor’s office that he came in for that special surgery, which is the subject of most email spam … yup … of the “wanna bigger schlong variety.”
    What the doc did was actually snip the muscle tendons that hold the penis in the body; and lo & behold! .. Bigger and Better.


  39. PSMike says

    You guys are after a good witch hunt just as much as everyone else. Admit it. Who’s the bigot?
    Thanks for saying that ANON….it’s exactly right. I’m not sure why, but the peculiarity of this site, it’s author, and it’s readers really confounds me. I read it every day. Every Day: So clearly I find it entertaining, informative, and useful. Somehow though, I guess because it mixes up politics and entertainment, it tends to have an aura of seriousness that just doesn’t hold a lot of weight. Time and again, men are ‘put on the cross’ for not adhering to standards that NOT even universally held in the gay ‘community’. Likewise, logic often as not has no home: The same folks who get morally outraged by any slight find nothing offensive, actually find it seemingly their exclusive RIGHT to question apparently str8 mens sexuality. What’s the harm? I don’t know…fostering an environment that any good-looking man is gay, no matter the context implies that the man is a liar, a phony, and a hypocrite. So, in this worldview…calling a football catch ‘sorta gay’ is a serious offense, and all who disagree are immediately chastised. Comparing homophobic slurs to racial slurs is SOP, justifiable simply because it’s a common practice. Making significant errors in judgement, errors that have caused pain and grief, are more than repugnant. They are forever unforgivable. Charity, understanding, and forgiveness have no home here, even as a mild afterthought. It has become a take no prisoners mindset common throughout both the blog world and the media. It’s as uncivilized as one can be. AND WE’RE ACTIVE PARCIPANTS. Even that I can it or not we are gay at best only second or third. We’re humans first, and the churlishness, pettiness, and plain ol’ meanness associated with our enemies is not unique to them. The frustration that I have is that we often as not condescend to the ‘others’ for their lack of sophistication and education. It’s THAT BS that really grabs at me: We are so damn superior when we act with just as much malice.
    It’s the nature of being able to write I guess. We all get to throw our two cents in, yell loud, louder, loudest to protect our nonsense and move along to the next target. What we really need is a review of how the world did or didn’t change. EXAMPLE:
    Despite a cry from (just) a few that anyone who didn’t loudly call for the beheading of Foley was a Namblian Enemy Combatant. Not a call for his ouster, not for changes in the system, but for an outcry to end all outcries. Only THEN, it was implied would the gay community, be free from the taint of molestors sure to overwhelm us. Truth is: that comparison, made a few times sure, never really grabbed. Not once did the folks see that their overkill was equivalent to Bush’s war on Iraq vs. terrorism. Wrong battles, wrong war. The same week as Foley, two separate incidents of str8 men raping and/or killing a large group of adolescent girls made the national news (the Amish tragedy and the school rape..I believe that was in Colorado). Not once did anyone stop and say: Hmmm…SOME Str8 men rape/kill underage girls doesn’t equal all str8 men are perverts. Nobody thought to even make that defense. Yet, in our determination to only let perfect gays in our club, we had to shout to the heavens about Foley’s naughty emails. Not only were the crimes therefore made to appear as equal, but our oversell of the defense made us look as if we knew something that we don’t want anyone else to know. Same thing with McGreevy, Boy George, George Michael etc. The people making the most sensational calls for public humiliation are our very own. Compare George Michael, say, to the goodwill shown Whitney Houston this week. Her ‘sins’ were more public, longer lasting, and far more detrimental to her family…and almost everyone seems to want her to succeed. All we want is revenge for the crimes against gayness.
    Even the dreaded team of Reichen and Lance offer something bigger than many want to admit. I don’t really care for them, but I have to believe the other public ‘coming outs’ that have increased dramatically over the last few months is a direct result of their actions and not just the historical precedents set by Sirs Elton and Ian 20 something years ago.
    I know that X number of folks are just rolling their eyes. Cool. You should. Just another blowhard. But I’m trying to atone for some of my past tendency to yell. I really believe that looking for civility, DEMANDING it of ourselves and our ‘community’ and expecting it of our Bloggers is a step in a better world. We don’t NEED to be perfect…actually that is an impossibility that every other minority group lunderstood. Accepting our similarities allows us to express our differences. Hopefully those differences are more than an uncontrollable need to drool over every hot guy and then, insist upon their phoniness. Weirdly, the stereotype of boorish construction workers harrassing innocent women has been replaced by a Blogosphere of boorish gay male office workers harrassing innocent men. At least the str8 guys understood that they were pigs!
    We can still have fun. Just the next time that someone doesn’t come out as per your timetable, with your words..maybe just stop before you go off. Maybe we can hold off a bit before insisting that everyone we say is gay come out. Maybe we can stop being so goddamn nasty to people who we ‘know’ should be outed. It was considered slanderous against Richard Gere…does anyone really think he’s gay anymore? Yet, we go after Travolta as if he’s Satan. How are we better? Next time the Republicans let one of their own rehabilitate themselves, or the Fundies, for that matter…maybe we should pay attention. They are doing the right thing. WE roll our eyes at those who still mention Chappaquidick or Vince Foster. How are we different? Maybe Armageddon is near: the Right has become infuriatingly (self) PC and we have become vindictive idealogues.
    OK….won’t post for at least a week. Promise.

  40. indicatoto101 says

    ^Couldn’t have said it any better. It seems like human nature is spiteful, vindictive, jealous ridden, and just a total biatch. If you don’t have anything nice to say, just shut the fuck up. It’s amazing how some people will take anything and turn it to something about them.

    OK, rant over.

  41. jimmyboyo says

    cloven hooves

    Please be a little more descriptive when talking about such a thing. Like, yes the schlong gets longer…..BUT it also does NOT stand up on its own ever again. If you want your cock to stand up on its own without you having to hold it up and hold it while you plunge it into your boyfriend’s butt……..Do not get a penis enlargment. It doesn’t even get that much bigger while ruining the beauty of a male cock. Cock’s should stand up or for some = bend to the side , but they are not supposed to point straight down when hard. Penis enlargment is not pretty

  42. Anon says

    Hey PSMike! Haven’t seen you around here for a while.

    I’m thinking of adopting a handle to avoid the other ANON’s on the site, though mostly its still me. At least no one can copy my style.

  43. peterparker says


    I think it is extremely important for us to out people swiftly and decisively if they are in the public eye or in positions of power and are using their power/celebrity to harm the GLBT community. It seems that much is obvious.

    However, I also believe it is important for the Lance Basses and Neil Patrick Harrises of the world, people who have celebrity and are thus in the spotlight but who have not done harm to the GLBT community, to come out AS SOON AS THEY ARE READY TO DO SO (note: that does not mean as soon as their managers/agents have concluded that doing so will do no damage to their careers).

    I view the willingness of a celebrity to come out to the world in the same way that I view a billionaire’s donation to a needy cause…it is a gift. In the case of a celebrity coming out of the closet, it is the gift of shining a light on a topic that is misunderstood by *many* people all over the world. It is the gift to our community of helping to humanize us to people who are so bigoted they never thought their favorite actor/actress/sports figure/politician/televangelist/etc…might ever be ‘one of those gays’. And, perhaps most importantly, it is the gift of knowledge to queer (and queer questioning) adolescents everywhere that there are indeed people like them who have found peace and joy in their sexuality. It is the gift to those adolescents that they too can be free to be who they are. Just as I think every wealthy person owes it to his/her fellow man to donate their money to worthy causes, so I believe it is important for every visible celebrity or power broker to be out of the closet.

    I want to dwell a minute longer on the need to be visible to queer adolescents because I think it is too easy for GLBT adults to forget how horrible those years were: the feelings of loneliness, the fear of being found out and rejected, the depression that accompanies the state of knowing that you are part of an oppressed minority and, for some of us, the abuse suffered because of our sexual orientation. It’s important for those kids to know that other people made it through that time. And if you think that every queer kid, or even the majority of them, has someone in their life or in their surroundings who can act as that person, then you are wrong. I grew up in a town of 300 people in south Georgia. We were an hour away from the nearest supermarket or movie theater. And if you think *anyone* in that place was going to be a visible prescence for a queer youth, then you are much mistaken. One of the few visible queers for me was a dying Rock Hudson. Hell even Elton John was off marrying a woman to distance himself from his sexual orientation. How I would’ve loved it if Richard Chamberlain, Michael Stipe, Pete Townsend, Billie Jean King, etc…had come out with a statement like that of Neil Patrick Harris! It would have made a world of difference to my outlook on life and my happiness during what was a fairly dark period for me.

    So, yeah, I do think celebrities owe it to the community to be out of the closet. As for those who say “But it would ruin his/her career!”, all I have to say is “How many millions of dollars does it take for them to be happy? And can’t they sacrifice a bit in service to their fellow man?”

  44. RB says

    Peterparker; “sacrifice a bit in service to their fellow man?”…what have you “sacrificed”?!? Really, it is NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU! Grow up and get real.

    Again, what have you “sacrificed” for the community? I would really like to know what harrowing sacrifice you have made to man kind.

    Coming out is about THE INDIVIDUAL’S TIME! NOT SACRIFICE. Again, you have angered me beyond belief…imagine that! “I think it is too easy for GLBT adults to forget how horrible those years were”…really, so that means that we “OWE YOU AND SOCIETY IN SOME WAY”?! You really are delusional…did you bump your head?


  45. peterparker says


    Wow am I going to have FUN answering your last post!

    Where in my post did you get the idea that I think anyone owes *me* anything?! I don’t think anyone owes *me* a goddamn thing, dear. In fact, I view myself on the other side of that coin. I have been much more blessed in this life than most, and I find great joy in trying help people who are less fortunate than I am.

    No, RB, I don’t think anyone owes me anything, but I definitely see a whole lot of self-centered behavior in this world. In fact, I’ve seen a lot of self-centered thinking in your posts in which you express support for the Republican party because (in your words) you ‘want to own property’. This, in spite of the fact that the political party you support actively promotes the most homophobic agenda in modern history, has killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people in Iraq/Afghanistan and has severely limited the freedoms that Americans have historically enjoyed. All so that RB can own property. Hmph!

    And I’d *love* to answer your question about what sacrifices I have made for the community. Over the past fifteen years I have regularly donated money to various charities, some with a focus on helping the GLBT community. During that fifteen year period, I have volunteered literally THOUSANDS of hours to various programs serving the GLBT communities. I have counseled HIV positive gay and bisexual men in the HIV Services Department of a hospital. I contributed my time as a substance abuse counselor in another GLBT mental health services facility. I volunteered many an afternoon on a needle exchange program handing out clean needles to injection drug users, teaching them how to clean their works in order to help them avoid infection with HIV, and referring them to drug rehabilitation centers. For a period of about a year, I volunteered several hours a week on an HIV/AIDS Hotline informing people about transmission of the virus, where they could access HIV care, where to obtain confidential or anonymous HIV testing, and sometimes lending a sympathetic ear. I have raised thousands of dollars for charities that help people living with HIV/AIDS by participating in six AIDS Rides in California, Texas, and New York/Boston. In doing those rides alone I spent thousands of hours training for and participating in the rides. I endured the agony of riding a bike through a hailstorm in Texas, had painful blisters the size of silver dollars on my feet when I worked as crew in one California AIDS Ride, was saddle sore and had various body parts go numb from hours and hours and hours of my being on a bike, and spent two nights sleeping on gymanasium floors during those rides, once when the Texas AIDS Ride campground was evacuated because of a tornado in the area and later when the Boston/NY Aids Ride was evacuated from our campground due to a hurricane in the area. And you know what, RB? I didn’t complain for a minute because I knew what I was doing was helping others who were far less fortunate than I am. In fact, it was a joy to sacrifice for others. How I wish certain selfish individuals in this world would come to the same conclusion and realize that helping one’s fellow man is often more satisfying than catering to yourself.

    Now that you know some of what I’ve sacrificed for the GLBT community, I invite you to criticize me only if you’ve sacrificed more. Until that time, kindly SHUT THE FUCK UP!

  46. steve says

    I for one love a good witch hunt

    and i’m not ashamed to say it

    next on the list…Ryan Seacrest

  47. D. says

    Replying to RB´s not so bright post: As they say in Spiderman (comics and film) “with great power comes great responsability”. I have done my bits for the GLBT community but whatever It is It will never have the same impact that a public figure can provoke. NHP has the power to affect the lives of many teens out there, something that didn´t happen, sadly, with my own coming out.

    I don´t know if he was forced or not but fact is, he did, and It is probably a risk for his career, we don´t know for sure to which extent. Further more, he doesn´t either, so kudos to him for taking the chance.

  48. RB says

    Thank you Peterparker for your resume. It is ironic with the numerous posts I have made that you only remember that I want to own property. Again out of context. Surprise! I want to be able to own property without the fear of eminant domain! But that is for a different place and I will not pick that battle here.

    However, was NPH out there publically dating women? Was he supporting or writing anti-gay legislation? Was he preaching the gospel against gays? I am sorry, if you are not a public official or celebrity that is working against gays it is none of ANYONE’S business what they are public or private!!! He was not Haggard nor Foley. He was living his life as an out gay man. Are we no less “out” if we are not on the cover of People smiling and stating I’m gay? Where the hell is the logic in that?!

    There is no difference between NPH and a Gap employee if they are living their lives and hurting no one in the process! What they do in their bedroom is none of your business public or private. If someone wants to live their entire life in the closet it is their choice and NOT YOURS OR ANYONE ELSE!

    And D, I have posted before that we need positive gay role models for our youth but they cannot be found in our celebrities! Your coming out was no more tramatic than anyone else. We ALL struggled, some of us longer than others, but we struggled just the same. That same space should be given to public people so long as they are not trying to harm our community. What is wrong with that? Are some of you so bitter that you are willing to go on a witch hunt to drag out everyone? If so, find a therapist! You obviously still have some issues in your own life!

  49. D. says

    Woa! Crazy that you can call anyone “bitter” after that rant. But hey…

    For the record, NPH wasn´t “living his life as an out gay man”. When you are under the spotlight, people like him -And I wouldn´t condemn them for it – don´t hold hands in the street, go to award ceremonies with their dates, or talk about them stating clearly “him” and not just “someone” or “a person”. And they know they are hiding a part of themselves that they are straight counterparts don´t have any trouble in showing.

    Straight celebrities are always “out” cause when they know nothing about you and unless you are not in any way what It is called “straight-acting”, everyone assumes they are heterosexual. That´s why “coming out” exists in the first place and why straight people never have to do it. And I am sorry to add: Duh.

    And I love the demagogy: “What they do in their bedroom”. You make it sound like if by coming out someone is telling us all the filthy -and clearly very private stuff- that they perform sexually. Not the case. Saying that you are gay is in no way a violation of privacy . Take the time and ask anyone who´s straight their sexual orientation: they´ll have no problem saying the truth. It is not sexual orientation that is private, It´s just being gay that is. Double standard much?

    I haven´t said that my coming out was traumatic (in fact, It wasn´t), so no need to project anything on me. I am saying that I understand the need for that “space” that you are talking about but It is also very understandable that many people, thinking that they can make a difference, want them to come out. And I don´t know why NPH is not a “role model” – he is a succesful actor that has “made it”. “Celibrity” is too ambiguous a word – we are not talking about freaking paris Hilton here, but a man who is been recognised for his work and whom millions of people tune in to watch every monday – him or his show, at least.

    Last but not least, this is not a “witch hunt”. Not unless “Witch” and “Gay” syddenly now mean the same thing. You know why there is so much gossip about this or that actor being gay? Because people, in their infinite wisdom, know that there are many “celebrities” – or whatever you wanna call them – that are gay but won´t say, and will go as far as to hide it conciously or flat-out lie about it. I am not saying that is wrong – I understand the feeling of self-preservation, the idea that if you say, your career is going to be ruined, etc… but I can´t help but congratulate anyone, however forced he finally feels to do it, that knows the risks and decides to come out anyway. I also can´t help but think they have made the world a tiny better by doing it, and yes, visibility in every areas helps a lot.

    And how cool is that I was quoting Spiderman and you were replying to Peterparker? :)

  50. Mark says

    Bravo to NPH for making a powerful statement in support of who he is as a person. The real shame should be focused on people like Perez Hilton (aka. Mario Lattisio?) who feel the need to take away the most private decision a gay man must face and simply do it for him. Pure shame.

  51. Daniel says

    I said it before, he’s a class act and a very good actor. I hope all the people who were so nasty previously will think before they rush to judgement the next time–and there will be a next time.

  52. says

    Harris’s revelation was important because he did it in a way that was sure to reach the most Americans possible. It’s unfortunate if it was forced, because while I agree that forced outing of anti-gay activists like Foley and Haggard is necessary, benign celebrities like Harris should be given space to realize that if you have a life that would interest People magazine’s readers, you have a social responsibility to come out. You can’t force people to meet their responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean those responsibilities don’t exist.

  53. Gman says

    How you anybody be proud to admit that they either:

    1)insert their penis into someone’s rectum
    2)having someone’s penis inserted into their rectum

    Sex involving feces should be a clue to it’s disgusting nature