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FCC Receives Complaints: Super Bowl Was Too Gay

According to the Smoking Gun, many folks complaining to the FCC about this year's Super Bowl claimed Prince's masturbatory guitar silhouette was gay porn (straight guys don't masturbate?). They also complained about the Snickers ad:

Superbowlads"As seen in the letters on the following pages, many correspondents were upset because they believed that the rock star was manipulating his guitar as if it were a penis. As one viewer noted in an e-mail, the 'pro-homosexual theme' of this year's event, telecast on CBS, was 'disgraceful.' The writer added that 'just because 6% of the population is gay,' porn did not need to be included in the broadcast. Another purportedly offended viewer was concerned that the halftime show would have an unfortunate lasting effect on his son, who 'hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay...Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.' The Snickers commercial--in which two mechanics accidentally kiss as they jointly eat a candy bar--repulsed some football fans, one of whom wrote of feeling 'violated' by the ad. 'God knows, I didn't turn on the superbowl expecting to be tricked into watching gay sex!' One woman reported that her son exclaimed, 'What the?!' when he saw the Snickers commercial. 'My husband rushed in to see the men kissing. This violates our religious beliefs and exposes our children to obscene and disgusting material they are taught are wrong. I want something done about this!!'"

And you know, I'm really pissed because every time I see those Go Daddy ads (and 90% of everything else on TV, except for maybe Ann Coulter) I think they're trying to turn me straight.

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  1. "Another purportedly offended viewer was concerned that the halftime show would have an unfortunate lasting effect on his son, who 'hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay...Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.' "

    I can't stop laughing at this one!

    Posted by: David | Mar 6, 2007 10:38:13 AM

  2. This nonsense is fairly typical of the idiotic "complaints" made to the FCC. It would be laughable if the current chairman had not hired a special advisor to bring "more God-based decision making to government". This is also the agency that famously ruled that f**k was permissible if it was used as an adjective but not as a verb in broadcast TV. The FCC also found that a less than one second long shot of Janet Jackson's nipple/breast was actionable as prohibited indencent programming. Fortunately, the courts have typically ruled against the FCC and Congress when they trample the First Amendment rights of broadcasters.

    Posted by: rudy | Mar 6, 2007 10:44:43 AM

  3. I'd say that some of these complaints are fake. Consider this one:

    "This image only made him [Prince] look extremely large which made the rest of us feel small, and unable to perform this evening."

    Posted by: Anita Woodward | Mar 6, 2007 10:54:57 AM

  4. If the compliants are real, it just shows how this country is primarily composed of ignorant fools. FOOLS I SAY!

    Posted by: Greggie | Mar 6, 2007 11:04:18 AM


    Wow... there is postively nothing else going on the world?

    Posted by: Rad | Mar 6, 2007 11:08:53 AM

  6. I hate to argue with you guys but I was totally straight before I watched the game and now I find myself cruising this site and rest stops on my delivery routes.

    Posted by: RALPHIE | Mar 6, 2007 11:24:02 AM

  7. Well, then come on over, Ralphie!!!!!

    Posted by: dattexas | Mar 6, 2007 11:42:23 AM

  8. ***'hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay...Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.'***
    same thing....ever since i saw klimt's painting, "the kiss" -- beneath the gilded surface, i was able to discern that the woman was actually a hermaphrodite -- using the golden scrim to veil her aptly displayed penis. it's all so stupid.

    Posted by: ricardo | Mar 6, 2007 11:52:20 AM

  9. Leave it to the ever vigilant, god-fearing, sex-obsessed idiots to determine something is sex or sexual when it actually isn't. There is sex lurking behind everything, and everything has a (homo)sexual innuendo to these freaks. How intensely screwed up these people are. Anyway, I don't bother watching the Super Bowl; I don't want to become straight.

    Posted by: Bill | Mar 6, 2007 11:59:27 AM

  10. "My husband rushed in to see the men kissing." He was probably rushing in because he didn't want to miss a single nanosecond of it.

    Posted by: Frank L | Mar 6, 2007 12:03:08 PM

  11. I got only this to say: JANET JACKSON'S TITS!

    Posted by: whatever | Mar 6, 2007 12:05:34 PM

  12. Dear FCC,

    Your existence continues to threaten my belief system, as you seem bent on converting me into a precious and fragile school marm with the vapors.

    Also, Prince is more heterosexual than all of your husbands combined.

    Posted by: Aatom | Mar 6, 2007 12:08:03 PM

  13. Ridiculous! What a bunch of complaining idiots. Who actually spends the time dissecting super bowl ads so they can (once again) justify being bigots!? Isn't there a war going on in Iraq?

    Posted by: JENZVAN | Mar 6, 2007 12:09:04 PM

  14. This is one of the funniest things you'll ever read:

    Posted by: Charlie | Mar 6, 2007 12:14:23 PM

  15. "Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY."

    I'm sorry but, real or not, that shit is fucking hilarious!!!

    Posted by: JR | Mar 6, 2007 12:35:00 PM

  16. Funny, we complained and wrote lots of letters about the snickers ad too, for being anti-gay! Hmmmm....

    Posted by: anon | Mar 6, 2007 12:37:25 PM

  17. Calling Psychedelic Pariah!
    This article clearly shows the conservatives being very emotional about a guitar and a kiss.
    Could you show us the logic of how these images are turning people gay and/or destroying America.

    Posted by: The_Jaded_Bitter_Bitch | Mar 6, 2007 12:58:07 PM

  18. Wait a minute--rock stars haven't been jacking off their instruments or simulating sex via pelvic thrusts for decades? Bruce Springsteen didn't routinely kiss his lead guitarist full on the mouth on stage for years? These people defy belief.

    LOVE the picture of Ann Coulter sucking up to the gay porn star. I wonder if she tried to come on to him.

    Posted by: Will | Mar 6, 2007 1:02:38 PM

  19. I almost pissed my pants reading this. It's better than comedy. In fact, you couldn't make it any funnier if you tried to parody these 'outraged' idiots.... Their stupidity is utterly epic.

    Posted by: atheist | Mar 6, 2007 1:17:41 PM

  20. Is this unexpected? When we were discussing the Snickers controversy some people said only gay people complained about it. I said otherwise. Here's the proof.

    Posted by: Jack! | Mar 6, 2007 2:05:33 PM

  21. "The writer added that 'just because 6% of the population is gay,' porn did not need to be included in the broadcast."

    Yeah 6% are gay... but the other 14% are the ones hitting on me online.

    Posted by: mark m | Mar 6, 2007 2:27:39 PM

  22. If anything, both Prince with his phallic guitar and the nasty men on the Snickers ads made me less gay! Neither of them are what I would call turn ons.

    Posted by: Chris | Mar 6, 2007 2:52:40 PM

  23. Well, what do you expect from the morons who watch the Superbowl?

    Posted by: FanGirlHater | Mar 6, 2007 3:05:25 PM

  24. Heheh... I guess the implication (if that complaint is legit and not a fake) is that one cannot be gay and be a quarterback? Because quarterback=straight naturally.

    Posted by: RJ | Mar 6, 2007 5:45:26 PM

  25. Doesn't it sort of imply that Prince is gay if they're claiming he's putting out gay pornography and turning wanna be quarterbacks gay?

    Last time I checked Prince was really really really into women.

    If anything he'd turn people leprecon-sexual...that's right, I said leprecon-sexual

    Posted by: lambman | Mar 6, 2007 5:58:25 PM

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