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FOX News: Jesus Died on Cross So Kathy Griffin Could Win Emmy

Via Michelangelo Signorile's The Gist comes this completely serious report from FOX News' Religion Correspondent Lauren Green.

If you'll remember, upon accepting her Emmy, Griffin said: ""A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus...Suck it, Jesus. This award is my God now." The TV Academy and E! then announced they would not air Griffin's comments.

Green is angry at Kathy Griffin for telling Jesus to "suck it" and wants Griffin to know that Jesus' death is directly related to winning that Emmy.

GriffinReports Green: "Now I could have been mildly insulted at that and turned the other cheek, as the founder of Christianity taught. But then she went on to say 'Suck it, Jesus. This award is my God now.' Needless to say, she offended me and millions of other Christians. I don't know what went through her mind and why she would think that was cutting edge or even funny. But first, I want to actually show you that, in fact, Kathy Griffin is wrong. Jesus had everything to do with her winning that award. And here's the reasoning. Jesus died on a cross 2,000 years ago. His dying words were, 'Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.' He died and they buried him in a rock cut tomb. Three days later, as the Bible says, he rose from the dead. That day is what Christians celebrate as Easter...

...After the resurrection, Christianity began to take off like wildfire, spreading from the Middle East northward to Europe and westward into Ethiopia. In 300 A.D. Emperor Constantine accepted Christianity and it beccame the religion of Europe. Rome soon became the seat of the faith. After several years of human failings, the church went through conflicts and quite a few unbiblical years — the crusades and the inquisition to name just two. Out of that came the Reformation — the reforming of the Church, sort of a back-to-basics Bible and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Out of the Reformation emerged a vision of law by Samuel Rutherford, called Lex is Rex, Law is King. From that, others devised a secular version that is used to help lay the foundation of government for a new land called America. Ninety-four percent of America's founding era documents mention the Bible; 34 percent quote the Bible directly. The idea of bringing unity to the universal is a particularly Biblical concept....

...The freedoms we enjoy in this country to speak freely and to live freely are directly related to that man who died on a cross 2,000 years ago."

So there Kathy Griffin!

Aside from the astonishing fact that this is being reported from an allegedly mainstream news outlet, isn't Green simply arguing that Jesus gave Griffin the right to tell him to suck it?

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Comments

  1. Yeah, and Gone With The Wind is a nice novel too.

    Can we get some REAL news, FOX?

    Posted by: dc-20008 | Sep 14, 2007 1:05:40 PM


  2. Silly me. I thought it was the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, a document that *never* even mentions God or Jesus Christ, that gave Americans the right to speak freely.

    Posted by: peterparker | Sep 14, 2007 1:09:21 PM


  3. JESUS DIED FOR YOUR EMMY, KATHY!!! HOW DARE YOU NOT RECOGNIZE THAT!

    must be a slow news day

    Posted by: Wes | Sep 14, 2007 1:10:00 PM


  4. Well, given the story that was released the other day which found that a majority of Americans think the Constitution provided for the US to be a Christian nation, this doesn't surprise me from a clearly biased station. (Do most news networks even have a "religion correspondent"?) And I'm curious: did Lauren Green report about the Jewish New Year yesterday or did that just pass her by as she prepared for this diatribe?

    Posted by: Larry | Sep 14, 2007 1:18:02 PM


  5. griffin was the most honest person ever to win an emmy.

    I for one have never seen jesus behind a camera, working a light and or microphone book, doing soem actress' hair, putting makup on the latest rap star, working an editing machine, or hell even working the catering table at a shoot.

    Until jesus can at least pay some dues to the screen actors guild like everybody else then jesus' pimps should stop trying to get others to whore free pr for him.

    Go Kathy Griffin!

    Posted by: jimmyboyo | Sep 14, 2007 1:21:04 PM


  6. i love how she matter-of-factly recounts as fact something that sounds completely fairy-tale ridiculous.

    does anyone reading this actually believe the whole resurrection story? if so, can you please explain why?

    Posted by: le_sacre | Sep 14, 2007 1:21:49 PM


  7. This is the most press Kathy's ever gotten! I predict record ratings when her show returns next season.

    Posted by: crispy | Sep 14, 2007 1:22:06 PM


  8. should be boom not book
    Please excuse all typos

    Posted by: jimmyboyo | Sep 14, 2007 1:22:49 PM


  9. faux history from faux news. what else is new....?

    Posted by: nic | Sep 14, 2007 1:23:09 PM


  10. People are refusing to look at what was fundamental to Ms. Griffin's comments. I think Jesus has actually wanted to win an Emmy ever since Touched by an Angel was consistently passed over for the statuette. The lamented Weekly World News reported that he, through proxies at Fox news, has threatened every nominee with retribution in the form of no Christmas gifts or Easter eggs if they don't thank him when they get their awards. Brava, Ms. Griffin, for your courage in standing up to the bullies.

    Posted by: JT | Sep 14, 2007 1:26:06 PM


  11. Just when you thought Fox News couldn't get any more bat sh*t crazy!

    Posted by: Zeke | Sep 14, 2007 1:26:10 PM


  12. Oh my God, Lauren Green just made my head hurt. Chistians everywhere should rise up and insist she be fired. She just makes them all sound idiotic.

    Posted by: db | Sep 14, 2007 1:26:19 PM


  13. Didn't Jesus die 2,007 years ago ?
    Not 2,000 years ago.

    Geesh !

    Posted by: marc | Sep 14, 2007 1:26:25 PM


  14. To me, this is the first thing Griffin has ever said that's truly funny/interesting/cutting edge. I mean, who CAN'T make a good Paris Hilton joke?

    And this Lauren Green chick is also making a serious stab at comedy as well.

    Posted by: Jaimie | Sep 14, 2007 1:28:44 PM


  15. i think if jesus were alive today he would probably be doing hair and make-up. 33 and not married? i'm just saying....

    Posted by: nic | Sep 14, 2007 1:28:45 PM


  16. Christianity spread like wildfire huh? Christianity was forced on the West by use of arms. The lady needs a history lesson.

    Posted by: Thyrsus | Sep 14, 2007 1:29:59 PM


  17. If fictional Jesus had never come into our world, we'd probably be much further advanced than we are now... I guess Lauren Green forgot the 1,000 years of intellectual darkness (the Dark Ages anyone??) that Christianity brought to the world.

    Posted by: Stenar | Sep 14, 2007 1:31:11 PM


  18. OK, seriously, couldn't this same kind of logic be used to connect Griffin's Emmy win to ANY event in the past.

    THANK YOU, SHIT!

    Couldn't we use the same logic to say that SHIT allowed Kathy to win her Emmy. Because, without Shit, all bacteria and enriching soil nutrients would die killing off all plants and animals leading to the destruction of the world as we know it, and then Kathy couldn't win an Emmy. So thank you, Shit!

    Posted by: Gregg | Sep 14, 2007 1:31:12 PM


  19. If the inquisition were held today Lauren Green would be subject to unspeakable torture for speaking out. Labeled a witch and then drowned or burned at the stake for the amusement of the pious.

    Posted by: ggreen | Sep 14, 2007 1:33:58 PM


  20. Suck it Lauren Green, and your jesus too! (jesus intentionally not capitalized)

    Rent 'The God Who Wasn't There' for more about how religion is...hmmm...how bout fake.

    Posted by: brandon | Sep 14, 2007 1:34:44 PM


  21. The Fox "journalist" demonstrated exactly the sort of false piety that Kathy was talking about in her bit.

    Posted by: sam | Sep 14, 2007 1:37:51 PM


  22. Suck it, Lauren.

    Um...just kidding, as I am sure Kathy was. Lighten up, folks. The crusades are over.

    Posted by: noteasilyoffended | Sep 14, 2007 1:38:01 PM


  23. Two points: Jesus allegedly died 1,974 years ago (he was supposedly 33 when he was crucified and the calendar starts the year he was born).

    Second, can someone tell me exactly how Jesus dying on the cross saved me? I honestly don't understand it. Everyone says he died for my sins, but what did his dying do for my sins? Am I forgiven so I have a clean slate? Does this mean I can sin some more? I know this sounds mocking, but I honestly want to know exactly how Jesus being crucified saved my soul. Don't just tell me it did. Tell me why it did!

    Posted by: MT | Sep 14, 2007 1:48:34 PM


  24. Again the conservative right wing Christians show that there is no leap of logic to great to hurdle. Sadly the fox followers will believe every bit of it. This is right up there with the “you can’t be a good Christian is you don’t vote Republican” mantra they use in every election. I’m surprise she didn’t say that God told her this personally.

    Posted by: ELI | Sep 14, 2007 1:53:45 PM


  25. Because - MT - as Sarah Silverman so aptly phrased it - Jesus is magic.

    Posted by: David S | Sep 14, 2007 1:57:28 PM


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