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Praise Xenu: "The Truth" is Finally Coming!

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Along with a few lawsuits, perhaps.

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  1. ~pulling up the lawn chairs~cracking open the barley water~

    Posted by: FASTLAD | Nov 21, 2007 10:13:30 AM


  2. Ok, I'll make the obvious reference. Someone has to, dammit.

    TOM CRUISE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!

    Posted by: adamblast | Nov 21, 2007 10:15:12 AM


  3. What's the proof? Video of him fucking Katie? Please God no. Not now while he bloated and downright fugly.

    Posted by: wetcnt | Nov 21, 2007 10:22:39 AM


  4. Do all we have right now is the cover?

    Posted by: anon (gmail.com) | Nov 21, 2007 10:22:53 AM


  5. Who cares about Tom anymore anyway? Isn't it all about Jake?

    Anyway, let's move onto the true breaking news story here: InTouch got a picture of Zahara, SMILING!

    Posted by: junior | Nov 21, 2007 10:23:01 AM


  6. I imagine this is a preview of the Andrew Morton book coming out in January.

    Posted by: crispy | Nov 21, 2007 10:30:17 AM


  7. The cover says "The new proof that puts the whispers to rest." If it's putting the gay whispers to REST, it sounds like the story is about some sort of evidence that proves he's straight, not gay. As if any type of evidence could possibly even exist.

    Posted by: Chesnut | Nov 21, 2007 10:35:13 AM


  8. Jake? He's dating Reese Witherspoon.

    Posted by: anon (gmail.com) | Nov 21, 2007 10:46:24 AM


  9. I agree with Junior, Zahara is a cutie! Could we have more of her and not what's his face?

    Cute, sweet toddler vs. cynical millionaire?

    Who cares is Cruise is gay, straight, or asexual? Why does it matter? It's not like he's violently anti-gay like the gazillion Republican closet cases or openly gay Republican evil-doers. He's just an actor.

    Posted by: noah | Nov 21, 2007 10:52:01 AM


  10. Maybe he just wants to be a woman -- his hairstyle looks very similar to his wife's.

    Posted by: John | Nov 21, 2007 10:52:51 AM


  11. I have the issue and have blogged about it. It's very weird because In Touch is claiming that P.I. (and pornstar/porn producer/"bagman") Paul Barresi investigated Cruise's sex life for Morton and is proclaiming Tom straight. However, Barresi is not identified in the article as having been paid $5000 by Cruise (by Barresi's own admission in his unpublished memoir) for bringing the notorious "Big Red" gay accuser to Cruise's attention. So...Barresi has been paid by Cruise in the past for helping to quash a gay rumor that Barresi's book makes clear was BELIEVED by Anthony Pellicano and by Barresi himself. And now Cruise is straight, as far as Barresi knows? Hm! Also, Barresi is not identified in the In Touch piece as being the man who outed Travolta on the cover of the Enquirer years ago...and yet Barresi says in In Touch he thinks the Cruise rumors are attributable to ex-Scientologists with axes to grind...an equation which I don't think can fairly be applied to Travolta, another famous Scientologist!

    Posted by: Matthew Rettenmund | Nov 21, 2007 11:03:24 AM


  12. Here's why Tom Cruise can't handle the truth --

    http://ehrensteinland.com/htmls/library/tomcruiseletters.shtml

    Posted by: David Ehrenstein | Nov 21, 2007 11:16:24 AM


  13. Um, Tom's do DOES look a tad, um, cunty.

    Posted by: Banjiboi | Nov 21, 2007 11:33:53 AM


  14. I'm much more concerned about "Britney's losing all her friends" or "Lindsay's Love Trouble" myself.

    Posted by: Jordan | Nov 21, 2007 11:37:10 AM


  15. Can someone explain to me why they think Tom Cruise and John Travolta are gay? Just a summary of what the reasons/evidence are supposed to be? I have to say I've never understood these particular rumors - beyond the simple fact that, technically, anybody who claims to be straight could be gay and hiding it. But the rumors about Travolta... is it because he dances well and has played gay-friendly roles in the past? Because if that's all there is to it, then it seems ridiculous to me.

    Posted by: Streller | Nov 21, 2007 12:00:36 PM


  16. Tommy gets fired from Paramount, his movie just tanked...and now this. In the meantime, he has the kidlet going through Scientology indoctrination school. What a guy.

    Posted by: Jack Scribe | Nov 21, 2007 12:09:04 PM


  17. BORING....and who cares?

    Posted by: Bosie | Nov 21, 2007 12:12:18 PM


  18. I didn't know Tom's career was in such a bad shape! So he needs to "dismiss" some rumors which weren't even that widespread to begin with? Or are tabloids desperately out of fresh and interesting material?

    And I agree that Zahara should have made the cover. For once she's smiling! Sho ka-yute!

    Posted by: Shabaka | Nov 21, 2007 12:13:24 PM


  19. Have you been asleep for the past two decades Shabaka? The rumors about Cruise have been all over the place. Nothing solid, hoever, just stories. Were he not such a hystericla freak it all would have died down a long time ago. But he goes ballistic and threatens lawsuits every time anyone looks at him cross-eyed.

    TRavolta hasn't done likewise, but that's undoubtedly because he's been active in steam rooms all over town.

    Posted by: David Ehrenstein | Nov 21, 2007 1:00:52 PM


  20. "Travolta hasn't done likewise, but that's undoubtedly because he's been active in steam rooms all over town."

    And the evidence for that "undoubtedly" is...

    Posted by: Streller | Nov 21, 2007 1:44:49 PM


  21. I swear I must have been, David E. The one rumor I heard was about that porn star buddy of his. And that was like eons ago. I must confess, Tom isn't my favorite celebritard, especially after that ridiculous number on Oprah!

    Posted by: Shabaka | Nov 21, 2007 3:54:04 PM


  22. hey, streller ! there are no videos of liberace taking the big, hard one .. he must have been str8 too then, right ?
    some things are intuitive, ever heard of gaydar ??

    Posted by: el polacko | Nov 21, 2007 6:21:31 PM


  23. Who cares? He has the dead eyes of a shark, worships an alien and is uninteresting on any level.

    The whole obsession on who is gay is way past its prime. Unless you live in rural America and would like to get laid more than once a year.

    Posted by: River | Nov 21, 2007 11:25:40 PM


  24. Who cares? He has the dead eyes of a shark, worships an alien and is uninteresting on any level.

    The whole obsession on who is gay is way past its prime. Unless you live in rural America and would like to get laid more than once a year.

    Posted by: River | Nov 21, 2007 11:25:55 PM


  25. Who cares? He has the dead eyes of a shark, worships an alien and is uninteresting on any level.

    The whole obsession on who is gay is way past its prime. Unless you live in rural America and would like to get laid more than once a year.

    Posted by: River | Nov 21, 2007 11:26:06 PM


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