Comments

  1. JerzeeMike says

    His Mom was “obviously stunned?” Really?! Stunned? I guess denial really does run deep. And AMAN, his conservative fans will have already started burning his CD’s by now. They don’t change and never will. Fred Phelps will be at every Clay Aiken concert now picketing “God Hates Clay Gayken,” guaranteed.

  2. jason says

    Let’s not polarize male sexuality too much. There’s far too much of this gay/straight nonsense. Most men are biologically bisexual and that’s that. The notion of men being either straight or gay is political bullshit put out by some in the gay community as well as homophobes. It’s an indecent coalition, of that there can be no doubt.

    Clay may be gay and good luck to him. I’m glad that he’s come out publicly. But let’s not fall for this gay/straight divide in male sexuality. It does a disservice to men everywhere.

  3. Michael says

    Who cares about his fans? I just hope people will leave him alone about it now and that maybe he’ll finally get some peace over the issue. What a sad thing — to be in the public eye before you’re ready to come to terms with it yourself, when everyone has already made up their minds about something so personal before you had. I hope it’s a relief. (And I hope Kathy Griffin will be somewhat gentle! haha)

  4. St. Theresa of Avila says

    Does Towleroad have a policy of banning trolls like Jason? If it does, now would be a good time to use it. In fact, Jason, the more research that goes on in to the matter, the more evidence shows that men ARE born gay or straight. Women have more of a possibility to be bisexual. I’m sure if Clay had been able to soften the blow to his right-wing fans by saying he was bisexual, he would have done so.
    Why don’t you give up posting your stupid drivel here because you’re always going to get called out on it, ok? I’m amazed you somehow didn’t manage to blame this on Obama!
    It might be possible that some straight men are capable of being quasi-sexualized with other men – in prison for example – but they are never actually attracted to other men in an environment where women are an option. Maybe you’ve had experience with this? Well nobody in their right mind believes that’s a sign that “most men are biologically bisexual”. A hard dick can be stuck anywhere – even in an animal. Does that make most men biologically zoophilic?

  5. crispy says

    Hi Jason,
    You’re wrong. As usual. Go away.

    Congrats again to Clay. The conversation with his mother is eerily familiar. I look forward to reading the whole article.

  6. says

    So is it me or does Clay sort of look like Sarah Palin with a snappy pixie lesbian haircut? And . . . the baby bares a slight resemblance to Norman “Mr. Roper” Fell?

    Anyhoo, Congrats to Clay.

  7. says

    welcome home clay!

    This has nothing to do with the story but if you live in or visit Las Vegas please don’t patronize THE EAGLE.

    While trying to set up an OBAMA PRIDE event I was told they couldn’t do “a Democratic event because we’re McCain supporters!”!

    Please stop supporting bars and companies that take our money to kill our movement!

    Sorry to go off subject but this is important.

  8. mike nyc says

    really? is that true about the Eagle?

    are they all owned by the same people?

    and do they support gay hating Republicans?

    I am not interested in fat, hairy old guys,
    to begin with, but, I will never give that place
    a dollar.

    fuck the Eagle.

  9. JeffRob says

    This is just wonderful news all around, especially considering Clay himself is a Christian, his family is mad conservative, and all his biggest fans are southern Christians. This out-coming is a very, very important one for the cause of changing hearts in places still racked with ignorance. So, good job, Clay!

    Judgement of him by our community now is neither necessary nor productive.

  10. seph says

    Who the freak is he fooling…everyone knows he is gay. You dumb enough if you don’t see it.

    I bet Kathy Griffin is writing some jokes about this…and…can’t wait to see it.

  11. Andalusian Dog says

    Coming out is one of the most important moments in the life of a gay person – if not the most important. So what I am going to write does not reflect how I feel about the inherent bravery of people who come out, no matter their age or their circumstances.

    However…

    First of all, who the hell cares/didn’t know that Clay Aiken is gay? Sounds to me like he needed some press since he’s been out of the so-called limelight (and for good reason – he’s absolutely talentless and tasteless) for some time. If this is the case, then I feel rather ambivalently about his coming out. It lacks the bravery I described above since everyone already knew he was gay and since he deflected the question of his sexuality, sometimes nastily, all along up to this point. Now he’s a gay dad, pictured with that poor son of his, and telling his story of woe and hardship all the way to the bank.

    Second, he came out to his mother right after SHE DROPPED HER SON OFF TO GO TO IRAQ?! Way to make that moment all about you, Clay! Good one. You should be proud.

    So it is a pattern, officially. Clay Aiken uses “shocks” the world with his coming out as a way to get attention, because he’s an attention whore.

  12. Rikard says

    Those of us lucky enough to choose when we come out usually do it when we are strong enough, or lonely enough to be ready. Clay looked pretty lonely most of the time. I’m glad he’s strong enough now.

  13. says

    Mike NYC
    I only know about the one in Vegas.

    I am really sorry if I offended anyone but when we spend our money its important we aim it places that support us, not work against us.

    All of Towleroads stories relate to the Eagle being owned by republican McCain supporters. But I do apologize if it offended anyone.

  14. Andalusian Dog says

    As for the bisexual squabble above:

    Alright, none of us likes Jason. It appears as though he’s going to vote not for Obama. (I cannot bring myself to say the Mc word or the P word without flying into a rage or choking on my own hatred, so we’ll just leave it as “not for Obama.) And he’s all around just a nasty fellow. The claim that all men are bisexual, or that no man is actually 100% gay or straight, is a little ludicrous.

    However, that bisexuality doesn’t exist in men is probably bullshit and flies in the face of all historical evidence, not to mention logic. I don’t care how many studies there are (the one with the link posted above surveyed a whopping 101 men – hardly the basis for a firm scientific conclusion).

    Bisexuality had been the status quo in men for centuries – at least for men who were inclined to whatever degree to have sex with other men. Many men would marry women, and have sex with them, and then have sex with other males on the side if they wanted to. We know this at least for the literate classes (the well-off and the clergy, mostly) because their lives were recorded by themselves or by others. We don’t know very much about the habits, sexual or otherwise, of the non-literate classes, unfortunately, except from occasional legal documents (if these people were ever on trial, for example).

    That’s just one example of the historical record disproving the notion that men cannot be bisexual. We can also look to works of art and literature for further, though less stable, evidence.

    With the emergence of post-industrial societies, men who have been inclined to have sex with other men have been able to do so and to self-identify as “gay” or “bisexual.” This is a historical, economic circumstance, and it is a modern one. Logic suggests (to me, at least) that one of the reasons why most men, at least in recent times, are turned on basically exclusively by one or the other sex is that our choices as to whom to sleep with are precisely that: they are choices to which we are conditioned, through language (like the self-identifying terms “gay” “straight” “bisexual”) and through society (itself conditioned by language).

    This is not to say that sexuality or sexual preference is all choice or conditioning, but it is a factor. That is, all sexuality (homo-, hetero-, and bisexuality, and everything else) is probably in part genetic (nature) and in part conditioned by various factors (nurture). None of us enters the world as a clean slate, and the slate is further marked up as we become socialized.

    This is mostly opinion, of course, and many of you will disagree with me, which is great.

    More troubling, however, is the readiness that many gay men have in attacking and undermining bisexuality as a non-thing, a fiction. Although I am certain that many men who identify as bisexual are actually homosexual and just can’t bring themselves to part with their self-image as “real men” who still like having sex with women, in other cases I’m equally certain that there are men who enjoy having sex with men and with women.

    For a reason that I have not been able quite yet to determine, the fact of bisexuality is threatening to many gay men. I suppose that many feel that bisexuality somehow connotes “choice,” and thus undermines the notion that gay sexuality is not a choice, but is something entirely genetic. This is a line of reasoning that I just don’t get. Who cares if our sexuality is a choice, or a partial choice, or partially genetic, or whatever? Does that impact our validity as human beings? Who cares if non-sympathetic straight people consider us evil and degenerate or “inverts” (to use an old word for us gay men)? If we argue that our homosexuality (or bisexuality, if that’s the case) is genetic, then I feel that we further support the notion that heterosexuality is normal, not to mention normative, as we have to argue actively on non-heterosexuality’s behalf.

    I’d rather just throw my hands up and say “Yes, I choose to be homosexual” (which I don’t actually believe) because at least then there would be a challenge to non-sympathetic straight people to question whether their sexuality is a choice as well, on the one hand, and on the other, a forcing of the question of whether this “choice” makes a difference in our human validity.

    If people wish to believe that every sexual preference that isn’t heterosexual is somehow wrong, they are going to believe it and no study, no genetic marker, no argument is going to change their minds. I feel that we shouldn’t bother to pander to those people by offering a totalizing genetic counter-argument or any other kind of counter-argument – it’s a slippery slope: before you know it, all sex that isn’t in the missionary position or through a sheet is going to be deemed “incorrect” and “morally reprehensible,” and so on.

    So who cares if there are men who choose to, or are “naturally” (a problematic word) inclined to, have sex with both men and women? Rather than threatening the social and political positions of the gay community, it in fact bolsters the overall idea that sex between two or more consenting adults is really no one else’s business, and that human sexuality is and should be accepted as expressed and expressible in a variety of ways. That is, when it comes to consenting adults, there’s no right or wrong way to “do it.”

  15. Hanna says

    If he is doing immoral acts then he is not a real Christian. However if he is celibate and does not do immoral things then he is living his life as a real Christian. The Bible is claerly agianst male homosexuality. Read these Bible verses: Leviticus Chapter 20 verse 13 and Romans Chapter 1 verse 27.

  16. JeffRob says

    Andalusian: Thank you for taking the time to write all that. I agree wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, your sincere thoughts are surely wasted on Jason, but not to worry…. no one cares.

    (On a side note, is it really possible this asshole Jason is a different Jason than the one I physically threatened yesterday on the Obama “6% needed” post? The one with the yahoo.com address? Can there really be two asshole Jasons on this one lil blog? Lord, help us.)

    On your point, Andalusian:
    The time really is now that we must move past the same old, tired arguments in this ongoing culture war, specifically on two fronts:
    First, it’s time to end the conversation once and for all re: “Do you choose to be gay, or not?”. Even an educated, researched hypothesis on this point, of which we’ve seen many attempts, is well past the limit of relevancy at this point. It simply does not matter how it came to be, it only matters how we react to it. In other words, even if tomorrow a huge contingency of glbt people got together and said “We’re gay, and we DID choose to be!”, that shouldn’t have any negative impact on our fight for acceptance and equality. To our foes, the argument that we chose our sexuality is married to the idea that we have therefore made a bad choice, and that’s what this fight is really about. Continuing to argue about how we came to be gay only makes room for anti-gay sentiment to fester, without addressing the real problem. A “chosen” sexuality is not our enemy. After all, we can all agree that we do choose whether to be honest about our sexuality, and that’s far more important.

    Secondly, we must put an end to the infighting in our community in regard to the fight for our equality. If my point above is attainable, then we must be able to fight as a unified front, gay men and lesbians, bisexual men and women, and always with our transgendered brothers and sisters, as if there is simply no difference in our plights whatsoever. This is the only way to succeed, I am convinced. We can not allow bisexuality to be defined as “chosen” because we concentrate too hard on proving gayness as “unchosen”. If we fight for gay and lesbian rights from the standpoint of “we’re more normal than them”, our fight is hollow, shallow, and meaningless.

    Thanks for reading.

  17. Andalusian Dog says

    K- Thank you, that’s very kind.

    Hanna- I just wrote a message to you about what you can do to your Bible and to write me back and let me know how she handled. I’m dying to know. However, it was uncouth, rude, and crass, and I decided that I shouldn’t stoop to the level of someone who would dare go on a gay blog and write the kind of hateful filth that you just spewed. So I erased it, in the spirit of turning the other cheek. But know that the next time you come in here quoting Scripture at us, I will come down on you like a ton of bricks.

  18. MAJeff says

    “If we fight for gay and lesbian rights from the standpoint of “we’re more normal than them”, our fight is hollow, shallow, and meaningless.”

    And to hell with being “normal” in the first place!

  19. Andalusian Dog says

    Jeffrob- I have no clue who this or these Jason(s) is/are.

    I agree wholeheartedly with your comments. If this fight is about whether we made a “bad choice,” then our foes can argue amongst themselves, as surely that is an argument based on opinion, rather than fact. You are right: whether we choose to be gay is off point. How honest we are about our relationships and our sexuality is precisely the issue. And that honesty, at least initially, necessarily has less to do with other people than with ourselves. That is, we need to continue to probe our own feelings and attitudes toward our sexuality before we can ever think to convey to others what it means, or how it is expressed, while at the same time continuing to fight vigorously and vociferously on the basic issue that sexual expression between two or more consenting adults should never be subject to the scrutiny, and thus to systems of power and judgment, imposed by those outside our relationships.

  20. CANChuckle says

    All quibbling aside, Clay deserves a “Hero” citation if his gay declaration prevents one confused teenager from committing suicide. His born-again community is not known for positive gay role models – to say the least – so this should be viewed as a positive step.

    BTW, whenever someone quotes Leviticus, I picture them mumbling ABOMINATION (Lev. 11) while they stuff a bacon double cheeseburger down their throats!

  21. queendru says

    Andalusian Dog – you’re a bigot. You write “sexual expression between two or more consenting adults should never be subject to the scrutiny” but a formal religion has tenets. It is not whatever you want it to be. Verses have context too.

    Hanna wrote nothing out of bounds, nor hateful.

    And, FYI, the next verse after “Judge not…” says, “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”

    The passage is about hypocrisy and making sure if you call someone out on something, in this case calling Clay to be celibate, is not a problem within yourself.

    So unless Hanna is whoring it up with same-sex partners, she’s perfect in tune with that passage you pulled out of context and tried to smear her with.

    Suck it up! You’re just another hateful, anti-religion bigot in the gay community who is so uncertain of his own moral compass he must lash out against someone with another viewpoint.

    I fully agree with Hanna. Clay may have traded one “lie” for another. He may be OUT but is he really the Christian example he’s proclaimed for the last 5 years?

    Four years he was privately sure enough he was gay to tell family but had denied it publicly, correct his earlier claim of straightness. No wonder some fans feel lied to. Like it or not, there is a trust relationship formed between fans and ‘stars’ like Aiken who cultivate it for their own career advancement. It’s not all about the music.

    It’s entirely right, appropriate and necessary for the fan (and Christian) community to ask itself these questions and decide for itself if Clay is a self-obsessed pretender or the role model he apparently cultivated for his image.

    Seriously, with his station in life, he could’ve adopted one or more needy and neglected children but he selfishly brings new life into the world.

    His son will be split between his two single parents, are not making a family arrangement together, are a generation apart.

    Although a fan during Idol, I’ve not be caught up in the cult of personality he’s fostered. This guy is a MESS.

    His albums were increasingly dodgy and the x-factor appeal he had on Idol just wasn’t there. The bizarre baby thing killed any residual interest in supporting this character that I may have had.

  22. JeffRob says

    QueenDru, this may come as a surprise to you and you alone, but you’re a little confused.

    “Bigotry” would require that Andalusian was targeting and degrading the entirety of Christendom, which obviously he was not.

    You can’t be a bigot against a single belief. As long as there are Christians in this world who believe God loves his gay and lesbian children just as they are, calling out the anti-gay fervor so prevalent among those who claim Christianity will not be bigotry.

    In other words, I love Christians. I just hate anything that would make you not accept my homosexuality. Your choice.

    Hanna was, of course, targeting the entire gay community, on a popular gay blog, no less. Now there’s a bigot.

  23. Vi Agara says

    Havent been here in awhile but I see the gay militia is on the attack again. You want a ban on here St. Teresa? How about banning stupidity from the likes of offensive leftists posing as status quo gay men. Also, ban stupid polls showing men are not bisexual while totally ignoring the work of Kinsey. The extreme left is an extreme minority no matter how many aliases you can come up with to post on Towelroad.

  24. anon says

    Kinsey has been essentially debunked. His poling data was fraught with all sorts of errors and the dichotomous selection bias of his “scale” leads to the completely erroneous idea that you’d have a normal distribution making bisexual the preferred orientation (not to mention all things a dichotomous scale would leave out, such as autoeroticism and asexuality). In other words, Kinsey’s results cannot be supported in science because his scheme was flawed from the get-go. What he gets credit for, though, was opening up new areas of research. His popularizing successors, such as Johnson and Masters, have not really done much better scientifically, but quieter, more mundane research over the years have been able to parse out some answers, such as the probable pre-birth origins of sexual orientation in males.

  25. Todd says

    According to the Bible passage from Hanna: If Clay is not celibate then he is not living and going by what the Bible says then he is NOT a real Christian. I totally agree with her. If he is not celibate do what he wants but don’t say he is a Christian because he isn’t one . That is like Rev.Billy Graham committing adultery. If he did then he is not a Christian either. But I have never heard any scandal on Billy moral wise and probably never will beause he woudl not do immoral things.

  26. Andalusian Dog says

    Jeffrob- a gay militia actually sounds kind of enticing, no? Let’s start one! And many thanks for the defense on the “bigotry” comment.

    As to that “bigotry” comment: QueenDru- I’ve been called worse, mostly by those speaking on behalf of Christ, incidentally. You should choose words with a bit more pith and imagination than “bigot.” Then again, I would expect nothing less than a lack of pith and imagination from someone so keen on rehashing verbatim millennia-old words – tarnished by human thought, constricted by human language, and distorted through multiple stages of human translation, so that whatever original impulse gave rise to those words can hardly be recognizable – as a means of defense against any criticism of the beliefs that emerge from those twisted, tortured words.

    Does that make me a bigot? Is that an indictment of all of Christianity? In fact, I’d go one step further and say that is an indictment of anyone who fails to use the critical faculties of the human brain – perhaps the greatest of God’s gifts to humankind, should we all be so lucky as to have a God who exists and cares about our pipsqueak daily lives.

    Lucifer was cast out for his pride according to many theological writings within the Judeo-Christian tradition. According to certain theologians in the Islamic tradition, he was cast out for his inability to reconcile the diverging commands of God – he just couldn’t think outside the box. In the Qur’an, his last words to the Divine before being cast out were “Reprieve me till the Day of Judgement.” God reprieved him, demonstrating his/her/its unyielding COMPASSION. There are lessons to be learned in all this. First of which should be that you don’t want to get into theological debates with me, as I know a great deal more about these matters than you, and as I fear neither pride nor hell, nor, most importantly, God.

  27. Andalusian Dog says

    Two further points:

    1) It is not Hanna’s, nor anyone else’s, responsibility to scrutinize what Clay Aiken, or I, or you, or anyone does with a consenting sexual partner or partners. So whether your those verses have context, I find it troubling that you or Hanna believe it is your duty to scrutinize this behavior. I’m sure an all-powerful God’s scrutiny should be scrutiny enough. In essence, the stance that you apparently adhere to, namely that it is the duty of humans to police sexual behavior on God’s behalf, is no different from the actions of the Wahhabis in Saudi Arabia or the Taliban in Afghanistan and Pakistan or the mullahs in Iran (all those terrible Muslims whom any red-blooded American should hate, lest she or he be less-than-patriotic, said ironically) who torture and execute those who are deemed to be sexual deviants, many of whom are the weakest in their societies and are not allowed to defend themselves: single young women, teenage boys, etc. Way to go, give yourself a pat on the back.

    2) If I were Hanna, I’d be completely offended by your comment. “Whoring it up in same-sex partners?” First of all, who cares whom Hanna decides to have sex with, once again, my main point. Though she has proven herself to be representative of everything mean and hateful about Christianity (a perfectly fine religion, as religions go), I at least would still not assume to care to take note of or otherwise scrutinize HER sexual behavior, which she has every right to conduct in any way she sees fit with other consenting adults. More troublingly, however, I find it telling that you would attribute that particular word — “whoring,” and thus “whore” — to someone who posts with a feminine name. Turns out that sexism is a form of bigotry as well. Judge not, indeed.

  28. Brian says

    As A guy who loves girl on girl action.
    I never understand why so many people hate or deny bisexual men. I mean I really,really want to know why. Alot of this stuff towards bi men is the same thing that right wing chrisians does towards the gay community. Example: RW says that no one is gay, that it’s a choice, well here people says their no true bisexual man.
    RW says that very few people are gay (1% or less),here people say that about bisexual men. Im a straight male,a christian,and go to afairly conserative church, and I don’t even agree with homosexual lifestyle(yes, I know I find women on women action hot), Yet I don’t hate or deny bisexual men.

    Oh,yeah their is a study that does prove men can be aroused to both sex. The Henry Adams study. Were 64 men, Both homophobic and non-homophobic were showned straight,gay,and lesbians porn.
    80 percent of homophobic show arousal to gay porn,and 34 percent of non-homophobic show arousal to gay porn,however all the men in study were also aroused to lesbian porn.
    Doesn’t that prove men can be aroused to both sex.

    That michael Bailey study, 3 gay men were aroused to women. 1/3rd men had no arousal.
    and men who do have arousal in the study,
    all At least a modest bisexual arousal.

  29. Brian says

    oh, yeah, I’ve seen study that proves that no one really is gay either, That it’s a choice. We shouldn’t show any gay people on tv,magazine,or movies. It offensive us good people. All people are Straight, there no such thing as a Gay person. People who choose to be gay are less then 1 percent.

    What Im typing is what right wing chrisians says about the gay community(and I didn’t even get nasty). To show the similarity between people who hate or deny bisexual men and right wing christians.

  30. Dev says

    I don’t see how the ‘is male bisexuality for real’ or ‘it’s not chosen’ arguments have any bearing on the right to choose a partner of any sex or gender. Are we only interested in the rights of gay males and not (the allegedly more-likely-to-exist-than-their-male-counterpart) bisexual females or lesbians who made the active choice to be lesbian?

    As a bisexual man dating a gay transman (who was female-born), I’ve had people use his current gender as evidence that I’m really gay and others use his biological sex as evidence that I’m really straight.

    Similar confusion has reigned (for them, not me) when I’ve dated bio females and bio males. They’ve switched their conclusion regarding my sexual orientation around so many times in the past fifteen years, they’ve got to be dizzy by now. Really, ‘bisexual’ is the simplest explanation. Why do people have such as hard time with it?

Leave A Reply