David Sedaris on the Undecided Voter

From this week’s New Yorker:

Undecideds“I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. ‘Can I interest you in the chicken?’ she asks. ‘Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?’

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”


  1. Rade the Democrat says

    I read that in this weeks “New Yorker” and just about fell off the couch laughing.

    Thank you, David Sedaris, for putting this issue of “Undecided voter” in the proper context!

    Rade the Democrat.

  2. CK says

    That is simply classic… LOL! Thank you, David for giving us a good laugh! Such an accurate assessment of undecideds!

    Have to say I am so looking forward to 2 weeks time when we will be out of the endless election cycle, it feels like it’s gone on forever. I can’t understand how, after all the campaigning, people cannot know yet who they are voting for…

    It’s Obama’08 all the way… can’t wait!!!!!

  3. scientitian says

    David Sedaris did a reading of this on Sunday in Minneapolis – apparently the New Yorker made him change “steaming pile of shit” to “platter of shit,” which seems like a very odd edit.

  4. says

    I have finally been polled! Twice in one day. On my cellie!

    I told both people I was an independent who was undecided.

    Why? Because if those polls show Obama with a huge lead alot of folks might not go and vote.

    I would, however, like the chicken please.

  5. Ben says

    I think Sedaris misses the point. A lot of undecideds are wrestling with there racism. Let’s face it, only a fool or a rich person would vote for McCain at this point. But for some Penecostal truck driver in Wheelersburg OH or western PA mountains to vote in his best interests…he has to vote for a BLACK MAN, which goes against a LIFETIME of socialization, even if he doesn’t realize that’s the reason why he’s conflicted.