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Gay Love Affair Blamed for Death of Blue Duck Species in UK


Blue Ducks, a threatened species which are native to New Zealand, look set to die out in the UK after Cherry, the last remaining female at a bird sanctuary in West Sussex, failed to mate with two males, named Ben and Jerry, at the same compound.

Why? The males are in love with each other:

Cherry "Neither male duck appeared interested and are now inseparable at the Arundel Wetland Centre, leaving Cherry to her own devices. Centre warden Paul Stevens said he was disappointed that efforts to produce new Blue Duck offspring had failed but said the two male birds made 'a lovely couple'. ... 'They stay together all the time, parading up and down their enclosure and whistling to each other as a male might do with a female he wants to mate with,' he said. 'People who visit the centre think they're a fantastic couple, without really coming around to the idea that they are two males. They both have very big personalities and people come from all over the country to come and see them. Cherry doesn't seem bothered by it, she's just happy to keep herself to herself...It would have been nice to get a last clutch of eggs from Cherry but Ben and Jerry do make a lovely couple." 

No doubt the fundies will pick up on this story and use it to perpetuate their theory that gays will be the end of human civilization.

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  1. Despite the negative light it might bring, I thought it was great how the warden added, "It would have been nice to get a last clutch of eggs from Cherry but Ben and Jerry do make a lovely couple."

    Posted by: RP | Mar 9, 2009 2:06:08 PM

  2. Hmmm, looks like these here ducks need to attend one of them christian de-gayifying camps.

    Posted by: Travis | Mar 9, 2009 2:10:32 PM

  3. They said the female duck is content and doesn't have a problem with the the homo ducks. I don't think so. Look at that photograph of the female duck glaring over at the two males. She's not please at all. What's a girl suppposed to do when all the guys are into each other? No good males.

    The idiots on The Jerry Springer Show are wrong: God did make Adam & Steve...poor Eve was just an after thought. No good males.

    You know, I've never seen a bird's penis--not even on the internet. They must have them...unless they use their beaks. Kinda' rough sex, isn't it?

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Mar 9, 2009 3:17:44 PM

  4. since they're native to new zealand, i don't see why this is a problem.

    Posted by: alguien | Mar 9, 2009 3:30:43 PM

  5. In order for fundies to claim the gay ducks ended the species, they have to admit that the ducks ARE gay, that something few will do, because it is an admission of homosexuality in nature, and that makes it natural!!

    Not that fundies follow logic normally, so perhaps not.

    Posted by: Rovex | Mar 9, 2009 3:41:03 PM

  6. So QUEER DUCK wasn't just a cartoon? See--life does imitate art.

    Posted by: jomicur | Mar 9, 2009 3:58:29 PM

  7. Birds of a feather flock together.

    Posted by: mak | Mar 9, 2009 4:42:40 PM

  8. Why don't they use artificially insemination from both of the drakes and that way preserve the gay gene.

    Posted by: Jim | Mar 9, 2009 8:23:08 PM

  9. @ Derrick from Philly,

    God help me, I actually know the answer to what ducks dick looks like. KEEP YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!! I was, for a brief time, a marine biology/oceanology major in college.

    So here's your answer: Like an cork screw. It is nearly as long as the ducks body. Why? Because ducks are rapists and female ducks have very strange reproductive organs to make it challenging for rapists to impregnate them. Something like 80% of duck matings are rape (gang rape at that) but only 3% of offspring come from rape. So male ducks need weird junk to get females preggo.

    Posted by: Wheezy | Mar 9, 2009 10:00:31 PM

  10. Oh, my God, WHEEZY.

    "Like a corkscrew..." "...ducks are rapists"

    Are there any females on this planet who don't have to suffer!

    Posted by: errick from Phillly | Mar 10, 2009 11:08:32 AM

  11. Here we go again with "gay animals". Beasts (non-human animals) can't be "gay" or "straight" (whatever that means to you kids nowadays). They have no sense of "sexual identities" to flaunt to their societies. They just find their fellow beasts hot, regardless of sex. I think that's how humans originally were.


    Posted by: ManTalksMan | Mar 10, 2009 9:45:28 PM

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