1. troschne says

    I’ve always thought she was a stupid, opportunistic whore, and that clip does nothing to change my mind. I hate that show, and I think she looks like Creepella Gruesome from “The Flintstones”.

  2. D.C. says

    In related news, Russel Simmons open letter to Gov Paterson

    Dear Governor Paterson,

    I write this letter to you, my friend, to publicly announce my gratitude for your courage and leadership on issues that will ultimately make this state, nation and the world a better place. I have known you for a very long time and have always admired your passion for doing what is right, which is often times not the most popular. This is what makes you a great leader, especially for our under-served communities that you have advocated on behalf of for decades. We were all inspired by your dedication to reforming the drug laws of our state and recognize the accomplishment your administration achieved by ending the Rockefeller Drug Laws after thirty-six years. So, we know when you believe in something, what you can do.

    However, as your friend and supporter, we know you can do much more, if you forget about what the poll numbers say and let your heart lead. You have recently done this in showing support for the legalization of gay marriage. History will show you are right and will we support you on this issue. Mr. Governor, we want to go to work for you and we will, but we will not be easy on you, because we know your potential. When you were unexpectedly put into the role of Chief Executive of New York State, you were handed a plate full of problems. Although your first year was a bumpy ride, we are beginning to see your great leadership and vision shine through and take over. I encourage you to keep leading with your heart, and address issues like the promotion of good diet, well-being and education for youth, as well creating new jobs (hopefully green jobs) for our workers and making sure that every person in our state can afford healthcare. As the first African-American Governor of New York, you have already made history. We now want to help you create a legacy.

    Russell Simmons

  3. Kris says

    I agree with her thinking that 2 guys will have issues waiting to have sex. That only happens with tragically ugly guys, and guys with small penises.

  4. jimmyboyo says


    How would she feel if someone popped off about some false female Jew steriotype?

    I am always floored by those who have most likely suffered from false steriotypes in their past having no problem spouting steriotype BS about gays.

  5. Sean says

    Alot of gay men may not be whores (unless they are selling their bodies on Christopher Street 3 blocks down from the stonewall/duplex building on 7th ave south) But there are a good handful of gay SLUTS & TRAMPS out there.If there werent there would be no need for manhunt adam4adam or any of those hook-up hotlines.And craigslist wouldnt be used for such trifle garbage.

    DONT GET ALL PISSY ITS THE TRUTH.Sorry if it its a nerve.NOT!!!

  6. D.C. says

    I kinda used the “related” word in a tungue in cheek kind of manner. I’m just tired of reading about these shmuck “celebrities” who are either against gay marriage or semi-homophobes. So I decided to post a well written letter supporting marriage equality by an actual influential human being.

  7. Derrick from Philly says

    “In what way is this letter related to this irrelevant blog posting?”

    Because it needed to be posted somewhere, SEAN. If Simmons had written a letter against gay marriage rights–it may have made the news…especially, the gay news.

  8. says

    I don’t think gays are much more whorish than straights. We’re just sometimes more adventurous because we’re not saddled with the socio-cultural expectations that the heteros have to deal with.

  9. says

    She’s a disgusting troll with anti-gay views that she probably would deny even to herself. Sometimes people betray their true feelings if you put them on camera and egg them on to blab all the time.

    Here is a lovely quote from her from an episode I caught. I wrote my pal KennethInThe212 about it when he was battling another reality-show battle-axe:

    “You don’t want a bisexual woman as the mother of your children. They can cheat on you with another woman and leave you.”

    Because straight women never cheat on you with another man and leave you, right?

    Sean: It’s not the truth to assume this is what all gay men are like. There are plenty of straight hook-up sites, red-light districts, massage parlors, stories of infidelity and deception, yet she isn’t saying, “I hope my straight clients don’t hook up on the first date.” Sometimes, even if a true condition exists, focusing on that condition over many others is the very definition of bias.

  10. Disgusted American says

    Probably gonna be majority LCR’s….and like str8 men don’t pretend to listen to women,jst so they can touch thier boobs,grope them and fuck thier vaginas and asses….pa-leeez…str8 men are dogs too.

  11. Jeff says

    Matthew, I haven’t watched very much of the show, but she says it’s a rule of hers that her clients can’t sleep with someone on the first date. Is she saying anything that is really that far-fetched? I think everyone is being a little defensive and is refusing to see any of the truth in her point-of-view (and there is some, sorry).

  12. Eric says

    I’m not sure what the point of this post is. Are we supposed to be outraged that she thinks we are whores? Or outraged that she wants to impose her sex-negative heteronormative ideals on the gay community?

    Andy, these days I’m concerned that you are becoming very heteronormative.

  13. CJ says

    D.C. Thanks for much for posting that letter. In all the heartbreaking news that is reported daily, it was absolutely amazing to read a well written and profound letter praising our leaders for pouring their hearts and souls into their work in order to make the world a better place. It is rare that a politician truly stands up for what is right, and I believe Gov. Patterson deserves more praise from the gay community, and the world as a whole. As I read comments on the internet, many of us are quick to demand more action. While the intentions are noble, it is easy to overlook the fact that supporting gay marriage is [sadly] still considered political suicide given today’s socio-political views on homosexuality. Gov. Patterson took a stand in a time when the winds are changing, but still very brutal. I believe many of us can learn a lesson from Gov. Patterson’s example, and instead of criticizing we should begin acting. It is easy to post comments and criticize others, it is much harder in helping to “create a legacy.”

  14. CJ says

    As for ms Stanger, I have watched her show two or three times. While it was mildly entertaining, having an “inside” look at “millionaires” living in Los Angeles was enough for me to be thankful I’m not living in Los Angeles. Most of the [clowns] men that Patti features are nouveau riche who either stumbled into their “fortunes” or inherited it from their nouveau riche parents. From my experience, Individuals who are truly financially wealthy do not flaunt it or act superior. Most worked hard to get where they are in life, and appreciate the life they live. Many of Ms Strager’s clients earned their money in very shady businesses, and many of them are over grown children who believe their money can buy them anything. Sadly, the women realize this and empower themselves to take full advantage of the ignorance these “men” display. It amazes me that these men believe true love exists through a millionaire matchmaker’s club. While that may be true for material objects, it certainly isn’t true for happiness, class and respect. Contrary to Ms Stanger’s belief, money can not buy you everything.

  15. Anthony in Nashville says

    I don’t see much wrong with her concern.

    I had a big argument with some friends a few weeks ago because I told them it was a bad idea to have sex on the first date. They were not trying to hear that at all!

    Hookup sites make it clear that a large number of gay men are looking to “give it up” as soon as possible.

  16. Dusty says

    There is a rich gay man who has three boyfriends, but he does not know which one to keep. So he decides to give each one $5,000 and see how they spend it.

    The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. He gets new clothes, a new haircut, manicure, pedicure, waxing, massage, the works, and tells the man, “I spent the money so I could look handsome for you because I love you so much.”

    The second one went out and spent all of the money at Neiman-Marcus buying gifts for his man. He says, “I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much.”

    The third one takes the $5,000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles his investment, returns the $5,000 to the man and reinvests the rest. He says, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”

    The man thinks long and hard about how each of the men spent the money and decides to keep the one with the biggest dick.

  17. troschne says

    D.C.–I REALLY hope your post regarding my post was tongue-in-cheek, because if it wasn’t, you REALLY need to lighten up. I’m sorry, but that is my opinion of her, and I’m entitled to it, and I just call ’em like I see ’em, and I don’t see anything sexist about what I wrote. If she were a male (which I’m not entirely sure she isn’t), I would say the same thing.

  18. Eric says

    No one is saying that it isn’t true that it is likely that guys will have sex on the first date.

    I was just pointing out that she is making a value judgment on that and saying it is inherently bad.

    And that just isn’t true.

    If it’s not the right thing for you, then that’s fine. Just say “That’s not the right thing for me.”

    But no one should say “That’s not the right thing for anyone.”

  19. paul c says

    @DC – That letter may have been off topic, but when the topic is Patti Stanger, off of it is the best place to go.

    I’ve heard that Russell Simmons is not the most pleasant person in the world, but I respect him for being a thoughtful and intelligent man and I really appreciate his letter! Kudos to Governor Patterson also.

  20. Bryan says

    “How am I going to force oppressive, shame-based hetero sexuality on gay men?”

    Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you can get them to marry.

  21. dknatl says

    I watch the show every week and her guiding principle about NOT having sex on the first date is because WOMEN need an emotional connection “upstairs” before they will open their door “downstairs”. She fully recognizes that guys are hunters and programmed differently where downstairs comes before the upstairs.
    It will be interesting to see if she changes her rules when she has two hunters looking to get in the door downstairs first.

    FYI – ALL men are pigs and sluts/tramps. It’s genetically programmed. Get over it and move on! Sex is a beautiful thing and it’s been proven to be a necessary part of a healthy lifestyle. Why deny yourself that?

  22. jimmyboyo says



    Io not want to sleep with someone on the first date isn’t heteronormative. It is logical. If one is intrested in a short term thing then who cares and get going on the sex before even knowing a person, but to build a long term relationship one needs to get to know the other person pre sex.

    Wanting a long term relationship isn’t heteronormative. It is a basic human desire for companionship.

    I’m not dissing hooking up. Hell, I’ve had my share of hook ups, but long term relationships do show beneficial physiological results in people. Studies all show that healthy long term relationships lower cortisol levels (the biggest stress hormone = side effects weakened heart muscle, high blood pressure, etc)

  23. CJ says

    Oh Patty, you are just so “blobby.” Why are you so “blobby?” I stare at you on tv and all I can think is “blobby”

    POSTED BY: JOSEPH | MAY 1, 2009 1:25:38 PM

    She reminds me of Grimace

  24. DJ says

    I don’t think she’s that far off-base, although I think she should have mentioned the stereotype of all gay men going to bath houses.

    Me personally on a first date:
    If I like you and want to date you = no sex.
    If I’m attracted you, but don’t want to date you = sex.

  25. Jack M says

    I love how she says, “the Gays.” What a tacky woman, and who did her lips? They’re inflated up to look like a set of Goodyear tires. Patti and her show/service should be avoided at all costs, or is she just more evidence that a (rich) fool and his money are soon parted?

  26. Peter says

    Monogamy is not necessarily sex negative, Eric, nor it is exclusively heteronormative. It becomes heteronormative when it becomes compulsory. Monogamy works for some people, but not for others. People who are going to a matchmaker are seeking something more durable, or else they would cruise the bars, go on CL, etc. That’s my sense of why this matchmaker dissuades her clients from tapping it on the first date.

  27. Cameron Johnson says

    It’s funny because it’s true! Many, many gay men are sluts, but that ground has been clearly plowed here before.

    My favorite part of this show? All the millionaires featured on the show get to use the service for free… It’s in a disclaimer at the end.

  28. Brandon says

    If you have all that money and you enlist THIS woman to help you find a gay, you should HOPE she finds you someone to sleep with you on the first date, and every date thereafter.

  29. peachhead says

    Patti Stanger is a complete and total homophobe. I know someone who worked on her show. Trust me, she’s NO fan of the gays in real life. Put her out of her misery now! She’s a hateful, despicable, phony!

  30. kornie says

    yeah it’s so wrong to think gay guys can hardly resist sex. those dudes parading up and down 8th ave in leather and hotpants are doing it to stimulate each others intellect.

  31. Jake says

    I’m going to steal a line from a post from the source site because it’s true and SO funny!

    “She looks like a brunette Chrissy Snow circa 1977″.

  32. David in Houston says

    I knew I shouldn’t have played that video clip, and I was right. To Patti Stanger we’re all one big gay stereotype. Gay men are all sex crazed animals that only think of one thing. She is just as superficial as the clients that come to her. Yeah, and she “loves the gays”. Give me a f-ing break.

  33. david says

    She threw the party for this episode at Here in Weho last Sunday…she wss very nice and funny, staying and talking and signing her book.

    I think she was just talking out her @#$

  34. says

    Eh. Consider the source.

    On another note…the misspellings in the comments completely negate the message.

    A lot is two words
    It is is spelled it’s
    and stereotype

    I can’t believe I wrote that. Sorry if it sounded haughty, but it just ruined the comments for me. :)

  35. Wheezy says

    “Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger Worried All Gay Men are Whores”

    And her usual clientele *aren’t* whores? Bish, please! You’re a madam without a whore house, and you know it!

    p.s. This is going to be as big a disaster as MTV’s gay episode of “NEXT”.

  36. SteveDenver says

    I like her, I want to cut her hair, I think she has valid concerns. BUT the millionaire may walk through the door and not be the “Gone In Sixty Seconds” type. I wonder who it is…

  37. bkishere says

    For those who have asked, my guess is the “point” of the post is to elicit a spate of catty comments about this woman’s appearance. Mission accomplished.

  38. Emma says

    Thanks to insomnia, I watch a lot of shitty TV, so I’ve had the distinct displeasure of seeing Patti’s “show.”

    While I don’t find her charming, I’ve never seen her display any homophobic tendencies.

    She views *ALL* men as penis driven animals and has all her clients agree to a “don’t stick it” rule — meaning no tongue, no penis, etc., until the pair is in a committed relationship. Her view is that anything other than non-tongue kissing confuses things.

    She is also incredibly terse and deals w/ very vain and spoiled people — people who never hear that their breath stinks & their jokes aren’t funny. Is she kind of a bitch? Yes. Does she have archaic rules? Perhaps. Are some of her male clients Neanderthals? Definitely. Are some of her female clients looking for a pay day? You bet.

    But, I’ve never seen her display anti-gay bigotry. She’s pretty even with her ball busting tactics.

  39. henry says

    I hate the term “heteronormative” as much as the phrase “straight acting”. People are different. Some fuck as soon as possible, some take it slow. Some have to explicitly tell people they’re gay and others don’t have that problem. As soon as we start to make assumptions about how people should behave because they’re gay we get into an incredibly stupid area.

  40. Jerry says

    Given the problems this bitch is having already with these idiotic nouveau riche straight dickheads trying to get sex on the first date, she needs a big heaping plate of Shut The Fuck Up.

  41. Dennis says

    Hi Patti Stanger,

    I see your weekly in the netherlands on tv and i like what you do.

    I am a pour men married (gay men).

    I like your holding to the clients.

    I say most off the gays are swingers. they go from the one person to the other.

    Good luck.

  42. Dave says

    She just took the mellow out of my morning coffee. How’d she get a client referral and on the air with so little aptitude for romance and healthy foreplay?

    Her comment was not about waiting until a second date to bang, it was start a sexual relationship when there is a committed relationship. Patience, like money, is something a lot of people want when they’ve run out, and having too much or too little of one or both seems to be the premise of the show – – yawn.

    She seems to have no credibility before she opens her mouth, then her appearance combined with the blabbering facial contortions left me wondering why Bravo is catering to Glenn Beck’s audience base. From her appearance to her beliefs and interest in rich dull men, my strongest impression is that she is uncomfortable with a man’s sexuality and not for lack of trying. That woman has Daddy-issues.

    I presume the boys at Bravo read this blog, so what a great opportunity to say something constructive, after the obvious. How about a few double date episodes for the opportunity to watch a gay couple and a dull couple? The healthy contrast would be a nice leap forward to acknowledge the dull problem. I still think that the embarrassment and discomfort that gay men provoke in dull Americans is due to the sexual poverty of too many heterosexuals. They do not know how f**king* dirt poor they are until they see men acting like they have sexual trust funds, instead of dull lottery winners.

    Ironically, it only takes a little patience and impulse control to get more bangs out of your buck. I thought that dull woman was exposing her sexual anxiety when she reveled her imagination is that gay men have no impulse control. Too bad the media does not acknowledge that the most successful consumer financial advice authors are queer and happily married – Suzy Orman and Andrew Tobias.

    There is a YouTube video of Newt Gingrich commenting on the financial bailout that is going on, in which he says something close to “Stimulus Package. … Stimulus, my ass …. ”

    Maybe things are getting better.

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