1. jane says

    Do I understand that you are calling “Focus on the Family” a HATE group? If you are, I don’t see how you can think that. Focus on the Family is a group that promotes family values. You may not agree with their beliefs, you may think they are dead wrong in their beliefs but they do have the right to believe what they believe and they have the right to proclaim those beliefs. You have expressed your beliefs here on your website and that is YOUR right. What’s the difference?

  2. says

    jane, of ourse they have the right to say whatever they want. But they are still a hate group. They advocate for the torture of gay teenagers and the discrimination and persecution of all gay people. People like you need to own your hate and stop hiding behind your superstitious beliefs. The differene between us and you is that we don’t think people like you should be treated as seond class citizens, or subject to random beatings and harassment. you’re feigned shock at being called out on your bigotry is disgusting.

  3. Drew says

    Jane you can be gay and have a family, focus on the family has trashed and bashed gays for a long time. Westboro Baptist Church is a hate group but I guess you jane don’t think so?

  4. Matt says

    Jane – Focus on the Family is not being called a hate group for nothing or for simply expressing a view on abortion. Take one look at what Matt Barber and Peter LaBarbera have said about LGBT Americans and you start to see a very different type of “family values.” This sham of a group wants to roll back our society to the 50’s and “pray away the gay.” Not only is ex-gay reparative (so-called) therapy dangerously unscientific – it doesn’t even work!

    The difference between the free-thinking people on this site and the mind-numbingly morons from Focus on the Family is that we’re not trying to force our beliefs on anyone. We preach tolerance and acceptance, but that message does NOT extend to those who would deny us the right to exist.

    Please take your self-righteous indignation and kindly fuck off :)

  5. sparks says

    Um, JANE, the KKK has a “right to believe what they believe and they have the right to proclaim those beliefs,” — but they are a hate group, wouldn’t you say?

    Focus on the Family’s message is anti-choice and anti-gay. It preaches homosexuality is a sin, something to be “cured” or “counseled away” …and to millions of people who do identify as gay or transgendered and know that theirs is not a choice, that is a message of hate.

    FOTF may not be as extreme in its methods as the KKK, but they both share the same self-righteous assurance that they’re following “God’s word” and they both share the discriminatory purpose of persecuting minorities.

  6. NIck says

    The saddest part of the Super Bore/Tim Tebow ad debacle -is that the MSM did not even discuss why there was such outrage at the ad—-they purposely did not mention that Focus on the(Christian Taliban) Family was behind the advertisement. They talked up the Choice/Anti-Choice argument. The real issue was the hate-spewing, sanctimonious, superstitious idiots that comprise this odious group.

  7. Bobby says

    Jane is one of the delusional zombies who believe Jebus is coming back to take her home any minute now and she’s gonna take as many people down as she can, before that happens.

  8. catherine says

    An awful lot of hate being spread in these comments for a group that is supposed to be tolerant. And that’s what hurt us in the first place. The FOTF group, of which probably few people had even heard, has been elevated to martyr status because of all the protesting, which turned out to be about nothing. We, on the other hand, look like people who do not want anyone else’s opinions heard if they do not agree with us. The message was not about torturing gay kids or anything of the kind. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and maybe we can learn to be more effective in our opposition to such groups through the failure to come off as anything but shrill zealots. Yeah, we got punked, but that does not mean we have to do it again next time.

  9. Walter says

    F-you Catherine — “we” rightfully made noise because a HATE group that preaches that gay men should be feared as they are a PEDOPHILE threat to “the children”.

    It is the CORPORATE media that continues to ignore that reality to maintain the status quo and keep us an enemy to be feared – to distract the masses so they do not rebel against the twisted economic elites.

    So again – F YOU Catherine.

  10. Wes says

    “The FOTF group, of which probably few people had even heard”

    Maybe that’s your problem. You’re unfamiliar with them, and assume everyone else is as well.

  11. says

    The Tebow ad was just another underhanded, sneaky way to worm into the unsuspecting collective conscience.

    All the hoopla over this “anti-abortion” was exactly what FOTM wanted. They knew that the pro-choice and gay groups would raise a stink ultimately leading to longer lasting effects than some 30 second ad.

    Funny, when I was taught about the bible, nobody said that God was sneaky.

  12. Wes says

    Any of these FOTF defenders going to do more than a drive-by comment and actually respond to the fact that they routinely vilify homosexuals and THAT’s why we have a problem with them?

    Who am I kidding, they probably agree with it.

  13. says

    you’re being way to kind Kevin. They are flat out liars. Furthermore they pretend to base their hatred of gays on their religion when it is clearly their bigotry which is to blame. Yet when we call them out on it they scream that they are the ones being persecuted. They’ve been using that same routine for decades. Focus on the Family is a hate group, just like the KKK or any other extreme Christianist movement (Tim McVeigh, Eric Rudolph, Pat Robertson, Peter LaBarbera…they’re all coming from the same place). That’s what makes their ad airing on the superbowl so disgusting. I don’t care what the content was.

  14. Jeff says

    uh..can we talk about the violence..? Last night’s was the first game I’ve watched since the mid-90’s, and, yeah..I was disgustingly appalled by the violence in the ads. I’m not a tv or game watcher. Is this violence the standard, these days…?

  15. Josh says

    FOTF isn’t a hate group. It simply believes in the biblical/tradition sense of marriage. In the past, individuals linked (some rather distantly) to the organization have said horribly hurtful and sick things, but these are not part of the organization’s dogma. The majority of the people in FOTF believe in a “Hate the sin, not the sinner” approach, something at which we on our side fail miserably. It’s ok to disagree, but ultimately it’s having enough respect for your fellow man to accept that point of view, even though it goes against every fiber of your being. No one wins when our side decides to “shout over” whatever the other side is saying. It just stops the actual conversation from taking place. Stop being victims. Don’t allow comments by others to effect your perception of yourself or how you face the world. Start acting like adults and identifying yourself by more than what you do in the bedroom. If we want equality, THAT is how we get it. Have a little bit of faith in your common man. People are smarter than we give them credit for, and aren’t going to suddenly decide to hate gays because they happen to visit the FOTF website. We can’t force people to accept us, but we can show them that we aren’t something to fear, that we live normal lives and have normal families and contribute to society. Most of all, we need to stop over-reacting and realize that there are people who, in the end, won’t like us anyway, and that it’s ok. The kind of vitriol and nastiness that comes through on blog comments such as above don’t serve our cause in the slightest. Look at how quick we were to attack Jane and Catherine (and I’m guessing I’ll take some heat too) for merely presenting a different point of view. It’s like Michael Jackson said: “I”m starting with the man in the mirror..” :~)

  16. Peter Brinkman says

    I am ashamed for the human race when those who preach tolerance are the most intolerant of all.

    I can almost guarantee, without question, that when I say that it is a huge stretch to call a group which ONLY advocates for so called “family values” a hate group merely because they do not advocate for your ideal of “family values” I, too, will be called a proponent of hate.

    I ask you this, do you know where I stand? Do you honestly know what my belief system is, what sexual orientation I am, my religion (if any), background, race, or political affiliation? No, you do not.

    A hate group is a group which advocates the breaking of the law with speech or written word to incite violence toward another group. FotF has no record of that.

    Speaking out is not hate if it’s merely an opinion. Jumping to that conclusion is often the problem with “advocate” groups and individuals.

  17. Peter Brinkman says

    I must add, further, it matters not what label I am, or what groups I am or am not a member of, and it doesn’t matter what I am as a human being… I am an American.

    Hate is a damn strong word. It really loses it’s meaning when overused or used incorrectly.

    There are haters out there, and I am very saddened whenever they speak. I am most appalled, however, when I hear it from the mouths of those who purport to be advocates of “tolerance,” which is much too often of late.

  18. says

    I ahve said for years that our side runs the risk of being controlled by the “thought police”. I recently spent a week in a “thought police” bubble. I hated it, though, I loved the people I was with. They meant well.

    FOF and the Christian right are “thought police” who do not mean well and anyone here who regularly reads about these groups would be hard pressed to call them anything but hate groups.

    Btw, I say that we take their tactics and use the same subliminal coding, etc., for our own purposes. We need to stop bringing butter knives that Gay Inc supplies us when we are going to a switchblade fight with these HATE GROUPS.

  19. AlexInBoston says

    To be quite honest if I Had not known in advance that FOF and their ad was “Anti-Choice” – the fact that Tebow came off so gay i might have gotten the impression the ad was all about “loving your children regardless of “What” they are”! Seriously he did come off as Gay and the ad shows a Mother accepting her child! Just a thought!

  20. Peter Brinkman says

    I want to see the mission statement for the FotF which explicitly states that they advocate the torture or murder of children or homosexuals.

    If it is true that they do that, then they should all be murdered and buried, their families too so they cannot reproduce and spread their hate onto future generations. We should absolutely eliminate all people who have the slightest hint of intolerance and rid the world of it once and for all.

    (and if you believed any of what I said in that last paragraph, you are too far gone and have no more compassion for humanity and I hope your beliefs are unique)

  21. says

    I too had an uneasy feeling in my stomach when I saw that URL flash across the screen. What these “tolerance” posters are not comprehending is that taking away rights & branding a class of people as “sinners” is destructive to society. This is not an issue about “tolerance.” That’s how these right-wing homophobes are trying to frame this. Don’t let that twisted & perverted viewpoint gain credence. It’s a basic issue of right and wrong.

  22. azkenreid says

    Your over the top rhetoric of labeling FOF as a “hate” group does nothing to further your cause. In fact, it tends to put you in the same league as the Westboro nuts who truly are a hate group. Some day gays will have all the rights and responsibilities as everybody else. When that happens, you will have to learn to play nice with others. Even with every legal protection available to you, society in general can and will judge you by the content of your character. If the comments here are indicative of that character, it will be a harsh judgment indeed.

  23. crispy says

    Did this post get picked up by some rightwing Tea Party group? Where did all the nutcases come from?

    Focus on the Family is a hate group. No question. They HATE gays. They virulently hate gays. James Dobson has published books illustrating how much he hates gays. They spent nearly $1 million to overturn Proposition 8 in California. They abduct gay kids from their families and send them to gay reparative therapy camps. They push legislation preventing gay families from adopting unwanted orphans. Their very website has numerous documents illustrating their hatred for gays.

    Anyone who questions this is naive at best, or just plain retarded.

  24. GrabbinNewscum says

    Oh, how I can’t wait until some gay rights group wants to run an advocacy ad during the Super Bowl and some other group calls for the network to drop the ad. Then you queens will start screaming censorship!

  25. Peter Brinkman says

    AZKEN, you astonish me with your simple and brilliant futurism. It is true that society as a whole, tends to judge people by their behavior. Sure, there’s the tabloid justice and voyeurism with celebrity we all enjoy, but in the end, people are vilified, crucified and/or ostracized by their display of humanity. If you cannot be a part of society, society will most definitely reject you, and harshly. So, when the time comes that all are equal (and that day is coming), we will finally be able to judge you for the saint or asshole you are and not by any label.

    Further, I know a few people who are in various “family values” advocacy groups and a majority of them are not the homo-lynchers everyone thinks they are.

    I think one of the many problems for advocacy groups on any side is that they often push too hard and then are surprised when the “other side” pushes back. OR are shocked and confused when their “opponent’s” tactics works and then, either out of fear or frustration, lash back and sound worse thus validating the tactic.

    Admit to yourselves, as advocates, you are going to get more people with honey than vinegar, and you’ll win the popularity game. Further, stop treating it like it’s a deathmatch game with absolute winners and losers. Admit that you also induce fear with your speech, you also spew hatred for others with your speech, and that hating religious groups, wishing their deaths, and calling them “breeders” is not helping, rather, it’s sort-of like stooping to their level and being a hate group yourselves.

    Is that what you really want? A world full of secularity groups who just hate and spew vileness at each other all day every day? No? Then I suggest taking a different tactic.

    Get along, dammit.

  26. says

    I don’t really care if FOF is a “hate” group. I care that they are attempting to interfere with the lives of others by working against the right of a woman to chose to have an abortion or working against the right of a gay person to live a life of full equality.

    They have every right to their views, but they don’t have the right to meddle in other people’s lives, and anyone who knows the history of FOF knows that their work doesn’t stop at voicing opinions. That’s the difference, Jane and others who can’t distinguish between “voicing different points of view” and being actively anti-gay, anti-choice etc.

    As for the ad, it was a brilliant whitewash (quite literally) or their active intolerance. Clearly they are trying to re-brand themselves as a voice of family love and happiness while disguising the fact that their vision of family excludes anyone who doesn’t fit within their narrow vision. The ad is the work of an ad agency. It is not what FOF does.

    Their mission is to deprive people of choices, and our mission is to allow such people a voice while working to make sure they have no power to control our lives.

  27. Josh says


    That’s a perfect example of what I was talking about in my earlier post. There happen to be a couple of people who post items you disagree with, and all of a sudden they are “Nutcases” and incapable of independent thought because they’re brainwashed “Teabaggers.” You have to be secure enough in your own convictions to realize that two intelligent people can reach different conclusions on the same topic.

    Being against Gay marriage doesn’t mean someone hates Gay people. We’re not going to achieve anything if we don’t drop this “all or nothing” approach to dealing with the rest of society. The issue is far more complex than that. Ridiculous generalizations such as that are exactly the type of knee-jerk, uninformed reactions that make our entire movement look juvenile and idiotic.

    @Peter Brinkman: Well said man!!

  28. crispy says

    Give me a fucking break.

    As soon as my partner and I have the same equal rights as you do, I’ll start using kinder words.

    Until then, kindly go fuck yourself, you raging lunatic nutcase.

  29. Josh says


    Exactly what rights do I have that you do not? I’m a gay male. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for quite a while. I’d like to get married to the man I love dearly, but well, you know how that goes…

    This just proves my point. You assume and attack instead of rationalizing and discussing. That isn’t the way to advance our movement and cause. It may feel good in the short term to name call and profanely refer to an uncomfortable form of self-satisfaction, but each time one of use responds in this manner, we take a huge collective step backward. We need to start using our heads and work on being part of the solution.

  30. crispy says

    For the record, Josh, I wasn’t speaking just to you. I was also addressing your buddy Brinkman up there and any of the other play-nice Pollyannas. But hey, it’s all about you, right?

    To the point, a gay man defending Focus on the Family? You’ve got to be shitting me. You are pond scum. You are the feces that pond scum defecates. You are worse than they are because you enable them to continue discriminating against us.

  31. robertmalcolm says

    Seems like a majority of the (pro-FOTF) posts here are being written by FOTF members themselves … nice that they know how to navigate the internet. Now stay the fuck out of my life.

  32. TANK says

    As I said in a previous post, this is pure propaganda in the service of hate. It’s how propaganda works for those ignorant of it. They take a wholesome message to hide the vile one. And the antichoice/antiwoman message that is the INHERENT statement being made by this ad and by FOTF is vile. Yes, it is a hate group not only for its vocal stance against women’s rights, but gay rights, too. I can’t see how anyone contributing here who disagrees is anything but a religious bigot or a self loathing fag who is also a bigot.

  33. Mark says

    Dear Defenders of FotF:
    Although you may not “hate” gay people, the group which you stand for most certainly does, and your actions furthers its mission to eliminate us from the world through unscientific, unethical, and overall repulsive “reparative therapy,” and also actively works to take away our rights. This is an undebatable fact that has been demonstrated by your organization time and time again.
    Secondly, to deny gays marriage, no matter how much you attempt to seat it in biblical beliefs (the bible in no way represents straight-marriage, or marriage in general, as it exists today. fact.), shows that on some level, even if you “have a ton of gay friends” that you see gay relationships as being not as good as straight and as somehow being second class. There is no logical, morally-sound justification for this. Even if you don’t personally believe in gay marriage on a religious basis, or even “just don’t feel” that gays should have the word marriage, it gives no one the right to try to take it from us. FotF works against public legislation-based and court-based matters of gay rights in a country that was founded upon the separation of church and state. Beliefs that simply align with one’s religion and nothing else have no place in public matters.

    I in no way accept or align myself with death-threats or hateful speech on either side of this debate. It is intolerable. However, if you cannot understand why FotF is labeled by many gay and straight people as being a hate group, you are either uneducated, ignorant of others, just plain stupid, or you really do hate people who are gay and you are just lying about it. Your posts in defense of your organization are utterly useless and unfounded.

  34. jane says

    For the record, I do not hate ANYBODY! I also have my eyes wide open. There are people who call themselves Christian who say and do things in the name of God that are horrible and I do not condone those things…especially Westboro Baptist Church. The things they say and do are NOT of God.

    My comments were here were kind and polite. I did not use profanity and I did no name calling. My comments had nothing to do with anyone’s lifestyle. Yet, for some reason some felt the need to assume what my opinions are. Those of you who felt the need to call me names and use profanity in responding to my comment says alot about your character.

  35. TANK says

    I would ignore people like Jane. They are true believers who aren’t interested in having a reasonable conversation. That’s the bait and switch. What she and others have done is merely repeat their false belief that FOTF is not a hate group without addressing any of the substantive points that would characterize it as one. And that’s all they’ll continue to do, as their religious beliefs are for them what they are for most people: an excuse not to think.

  36. Kyle Sullivan says

    Holy crap — I just watched the Tebow commercial and my gaydar went off the charts on that kid. I have to admit, the spot could just as easily be seen as an ad to love your child even if he’s queer — though it could also be an ad for “It’s okay to beat the shit out of your mom,” I guess.

    BTW — to all the folks taking those who spoke out against this ad to task for not being “tolerant” and insisting FOTF is not a hate group — the worst violence is done with tender words. Words along the lines of, “You are not worthy of being treated like us.”

    A quiet sentence that claims to come from love but means only to destroy one’s spirit is just as full of hate as the act of killing someone solely because of who they are. If you cannot see that, you are not a true Christian, and not worthy of being treated as such.

  37. Josh says

    Crispy: I’m not defending FOTF’s message, just their right to have one. I’m sorry if my ability to judge with candor and rational thought instead of rage and emotion is offensive to you. I definitely won’t be donating any money to them, or attending any meetings, but I also don’t see a point in attacking them and giving them the publicity while making our community look worse. They are only one group of individuals, stop making them so important. We have no more of a right to impose our beliefs as to what is right and wrong on them than they do to impose theirs on us. In the end, people disagree and those disagreements sometimes hurt, but we’re all still people and largely affected more by our past experiences than by a need to hate someone. That means that there is still the possibility for “teachable moments” and exactly what type of character should we present as a whole? Even though I am apparently “pond scum feces” for having an alternative opinion, my hope for you is that one day soon you and your partner will be able to get married and so will I. We agree on that, we just have very different ideas as to how that is best accomplished.

  38. crispy says

    Josh, your comments are laughably naive. Really, we just say nothing and eventually FOTF will have a change of heart and stop fighting us on gay marriage?

  39. TANK says

    It’s not just gay marriage that FOTF opposes. It’s hate crime laws for lgb people, workforce antidiscrimination laws…in fact, they’re supporters of making homosexuality (as they define it) illegal. FOTF believes sexuality is a choice, and funds ex gay ministries….they’re a hate group, and anyone who disagrees with that fact is welcome to do so…while being labeled a bigot, because they are one. I mean, not too many people would fail to be bigots who believe that inerracial marriage is wrong…so end of discussion about that, bigots.

    Once again lesser minds have conspired to defend the right to spew hate speech…which misses the point yet again…as this isn’t a first amendment issue (cbs is a private organization).

  40. Josh says

    Laugh away Crispy. I feel sorry for you. Not once in my comments have I advocated saying nothing. I know its hard, but try following me on this… there are other ways to combat ignorance than reacting in a vitriolic manner. You’re way of operating, or at least it seems this way by your comments, is to attack anyone who disagrees with you. We are never going to change the mind of those in FOTF. Not with sugar, and not with the ridiculous hatred so evident on the comment section. My point is: Who Cares? Who is their audience? Not us, not anyone who actually knows a gay person. They are preaching to their own choir. There are however, those out there who haven’t made up their mind regarding our community, those that actually may be impressionable by the FOTF message. Is inciting hate and reacting in every way similar to our worst stereotypes going to make them choose us over FOTF? How about if we react by PROVING THEM WRONG? I’m saying pick your effing battles. Try not wearing your heart on your sleeve for five minutes and actually think things through. Most of all, hating someone or something only hurts yourself in the end. Rise above it.

    Now feel free to call me every name in the book. I have a flight to catch, and I really don’t plan on checking back in here when I land to see your brilliant retort. Have a good one bro, it’s been…… enlightening.

  41. REYnoldo says

    Jane, you ignorant slut. “Hating” gays is not the main issue here, any more than is your inability to achieve orgasm. The issue is equality. How can you say that FOtF doesn’t “hate” but when they advocate against hate crime legislation and law protecting gays and lesbians from discrimination? It’s the same as saying “oh I have gay friends” yet at the same time you are stabbing one of your friends in the back. I suppose you’d like to conduct friendships the way you conduct your private life, hopping from bed to bed with anyone that can do you some good. Then what do you have? An old, dried-out scuzz that no decent man would be seen with. Is that what you what you call “not hating”? It’s too late for you, Jane, but our country still has some dignity left when it comes to equality, you hosebag!

  42. crispy says

    Good grief. They are NOT preaching to the choir. That’s the whole point of this discussion. They just aired their website address to 106.5 million people.

    Telling the truth about them, that they are indeed a hate group and providing the reasons why, is exactly what every thinking person should be doing today.

  43. pH says

    every time i think there is going to be some somewhat serious-minded commentary on this site, i open up the comments and read in comment #2 that “focus on the family,” whose put-it-all-in-Jesus’-hands approach to life i find absolutely laughable but which is unquestionably a positivity-oriented organisation, apparently advocates the torture of gay teenagers and the discrimination of [sic by hicky, uneducated redstater who doesn’t understand prepositions?] all gay people.

    …uh, are you fucking serious? sometimes i *really* hate being gay.

  44. crispy says

    Then PH you’re are horribly uninformed about the subject. A simple Google search of for the phrase “same-sex counseling” turns up 1,680 hits.

    Positivity? Try being less of an idiot.

  45. TANK says

    You’re not alone, PH. Many other people hate that you’re gay, too.

    I’m waiting for the other wingnut daily transplants to descend and pretend that they’re gay while defending FOTF. Where’s DR to defend their propaganda machine because he’s closeted and resentful, married to some porker who eats to forget that her husband’s a HOMO?

    Gad, with these “self identified” gays defending FOTF (a HATE GROUP), who needs FOTF?

  46. sparks says

    ROFL — wait up!

    Did Jane just refer to homosexuality as our “lifestyle”?!

    Sometimes their masks of “politeness” fall off too easily.

    Anyway, what’s funny about homophobes referring to being gay as a lifestyle choice, is that a LOT of gays want VERY MUCH to have a “lifestyle” in which they live in a monogamous committed relationship with one partner, establish a home, build a life together, maybe raise kids, and grow old together.

    But homophobes don’t want to LET gays choose the very lifestyle they consider normal.

  47. says

    “We have no more of a right to impose our beliefs as to what is right and wrong on them than they do to impose theirs on us.”

    Josh, you’re missing the point, which is exactly what FOF would like you to do. We’re not imposing our beliefs on them. Are gay people saying that women must have abortions, that straight families don’t exist, that straight children should undergo conversion therapy to become gay? Of course not. The very idea is ludicrous.

    Not only is FOF trying to impose their beliefs on others, part of their active mission is to prevent women from having a choice, to prevent you from marrying your partner, to prevent gay children from parental nurture and acceptance. They are actively intolerant. Big difference.

    They have every right to their beliefs and every right to air them in whatever forum they can. But we, whatever profanities we might use to describe them, are not trying to prevent their equality; they are trying to prevent ours. And if you think they’re only preaching to the choir, you simply don’t understand how they–and other well-funded anti-gay/anti-choice groups–work. The ad is a pure lie and doesn’t at all represent what they’re about.

  48. James says

    Whats with the mean spirited comments towards Jane? She was polite and coherent and you could have probably had a discussion with her that let her see your point of view, maybe even put her on the road to changing her mind. You must have encountered people with these opinions before; she probably sees us as a small godless minority demanding privileges too hard and too fast. We (generally speaking) see it as claiming our rights as equals as promised under the constitution. Some of us are probably religious and share many of the qualities of family values groups, isnt it better to let them see us as complex and real people rather than angry, rude stereotypes that self-segregate with our behavior? (yeah, yeah – I know…I can go f*ck myself too)

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