Ted Haggard to Make ‘Groundbreaking’ Announcement Today

Actually, it's a "surprise groundbreaking" announcement, according to CNN (not sure how it's a surprise anymore, but…):

Haggard "Ted Haggard, the megachurch pastor and former National Association of Evangelicals chief whose career was undone by a gay prostitution and drugs scandal in 2006, is expected to talk about the next step in his career Wednesday.
With his family by his side at his Colorado Springs home, Haggard is expected to a make 'surprise groundbreaking' announcement, according to a news statement Tuesday."

9News Colorado Springs reports:

"The media alert sent out announcing Wednesday's news conference was distributed by Amy Prenner at the Prenner Group. The Los Angeles-based public relations firm boasts it has spent 15 years working in the entertainment industry and has an exclusive network of high-level media contacts, 'along with an eye for strategy and an awareness of entertainment journalists.'

Haggard told 9NEWS Tuesday afternoon he cannot talk about what the announcement will be.

'The people who make the big bucks make it for a reason,' Haggard said.

He referred all questions to Prenner. The news release does say Haggard 'will face the press and media with surprise groundbreaking announcement about his future.'"

So, do you all have any predictions?


  1. RONTEX says

    Maybe he and his family have come to terms with his homosexuality and he is opening a church that is gay friendly?

    One can hope.

  2. says

    What a creep. Sounds like he’s desperate for his 15 minutes, again. All those years being Mr. Important in the evangelical movement… and now he’s known as Mr. Icky in it. He’d do anything to get in power again, though that ain’t happening. I bet he says he’s now successfully an Ex-Gay, or something, as if there was such a thing.

  3. JoeyO'H says

    I can’t begin to imagine what this lying pig from hell has to say that is so groundbreaking?
    Maybe he has been cured of his homosexuality, ‘cos I don’t want him pitching on our team, that is for sure!!

  4. Rodolfo says

    Maybe it’s literal. As in, “He’ll be breaking ground on a new homosexual rehabilitation clinic.”

    Eh, that still wouldn’t be a surprise.

  5. Dave says

    He will say that he has heard the word of God speaking throughout the ordeal that he put his family through and he will dedicate his life to undoing the evil that he has done and will start by openly embracing the gay community as he is a gay man who has been embracing it for years all be it for pay…

  6. Disgusted American says

    I think Rontex’s guess is probably it…..should be interesting to find out what this “surprise” is? Hmmmmmm, I can ONLY Imagine.

  7. Dana says

    “He’s manning the first NASA space mission to Mars? Oh please…”

    Actually, he’ll be “manning” the first space mission to Uranus.

  8. steve talbert says

    Maybe he will say he did some research and found that all of the passages in the Bible that supposedly say that being gay is bad are actually referencing having sex with religious prostitutes (actually true).. so he has decided he was one of these religious prostitutes and will then pour gasoline over himself and his family and create a immolation of religious ecstasy..,, [i give this guess less than 50% chance of happening.]

  9. crispy says

    As part of his gay reparative therapy, he was staring at his wife’s naked body. Suddenly, her bush caught fire and he heard the voice of God. The burning bush, as burning bushes are want to do, told Ted that it’s ok to be gay. Embracing Pride Month, Ted will lead the ex-gays out of Exodus and into California.

  10. AlexInBoston says

    So what little money he has made over the past several months in his NEW “Start Up Church” he has just spent with a “high Level (see: High Costing) Media Consultant Firm”, just so he can make some friggin announcement that he hopes will propel him in a “Larger (see MORE MONEY SUCKING) Church”!!! Trust me it will all be about Bigger, Better, tons more money opportunities!!!!

  11. voet says

    My vote for a “surprise groundbreaking” announcement is:

    He hired a hispanic prostitute named Jesus. They had sex twice. The second time seman squirted all over the motel sheets. When you hold up a black light to look at the sheets, you see a portrait of Jesus Christ. So Haggard will announce the second coming of Jesus.

  12. stephen says

    same ‘ol, same ‘ol…

    I’m sure it’s a talk-show with some element that THEY think makes it “new”.

    Whatever the spin, all I can say is, ‘a new sucker born every minute.’

  13. MarkinNC says

    I think Dave may be on to something, at least I hope so. While I do not personally value his opinion, it would be interesting to see what effect his “voice” would have with those hard-core evangelicals who still support him. Maybe it would serve as a bridge of sorts. We can’t all play this “us” vs. “them” game forever. This gay world is big enough for any gay man big enough to man up to who he is.

  14. Dan Cobbb says

    The leopard cannot change his spots. This guy is likely to tell the world that he is now 100% heterosexual thanks to a new, improved gay-scrubbing God-endorsed therapy that he –along with a team of reputable scientists– has perfected. He will open his new and exciting ministy soon. It is a ministry that focuses on the treatment of poor, satanic-influenced gay men and turn them into virile heterosexuals ready to hew the lower forty with ax in hand.

  15. Dan Cobbb says

    RONTEX and DISGUSTED AMERICAN, you guys can’t be serious. He’s making an anouncement with his family… People like Haggard are incapable of living in the world of reality. For them, only self-delusion and myths make their own lives seem reasonable.

  16. Rad says

    I have to agree that he’s just a media whore who needs another 15 minutes of fame.

    Maybe he’s going to rent the house on the OTHER side of Sarah Palin?

  17. Sean says

    no guesses, but I’m willing to bet truth and honesty have very little to do with this announcement.

  18. Tom A. says

    the only groundbreaking thing he could possibly do is to admit he’s gay and that the god made him that way, and still loves him! Nothing else would be remotely interesting- nevermind “groundbreaking!”

  19. says

    Ted Haggard and Fred Phelps are both going to admit their mistakes, beg for forgiveness and announce their impending wedding.

  20. Tone says

    I hope he has dealt with his demons and can be honest now about his sexuality. His life would be so much better for it. He could become a powerful voice for change.

  21. TampaZeke says

    I think he’ll announce that this will be his last press conference because god came to him in a dream and revealed to him that NO NONE gives a shit about what he thinks about ANYTHING!

    Now THAT would be a monumental and groundbreaking announcement. It would also be the only one I would be interested in hearing.

  22. Acronym Jim says

    He’s moving to Iowa, divorcing his wife, marrying Mike Jones, and adopting a Somali baby.

    That would be surprising.

  23. anon says

    My guess would be a new TV or radio ministry or reality TV show. My hope would be that he’s marrying George Rekers and they are both investing in Rentboy.com.

  24. says

    Your guess is almost mine, Acronym Jim, except I was guessing he was going to marry George Rekers and that they were going to adopt a rentboy together. Your scenario is more heartwarming, however, whereas mine is just icky.

  25. Acronym Jim says

    I was going for sarcastic, Ernie. I must be having an off day. Your suggestion is probably more likely though.

  26. jerry says

    Maybe he will announce whether he is top or bottom ? Enquiring minds want to know.

  27. tony says

    whatever it is — it is a scam for him to profit by telling others that they are superior to others — or can be.

    Guess who they will be told they are better than …. ???

  28. Brad says

    He’s doing an INTERVENTION SHOW with Relativity Real Media. I am, sadly, not kidding.


  29. David says

    In a selfless act, Haggard will dive to the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico and stop the oil spill by sucking on the big pipe. Well, maybe it’s not *completely* selfless.

  30. jamal49 says

    I had about a dozen snarky comments, but I’ll digress on this one. I can only hope that he announces that he finally got hold of an accurate, unbiased and straight-forward (so to speak) translation of The Bible and realized that it does not condemn same-sex love or gay people in general. Not even close.

  31. Daniel says

    Ted will be announcing he has just been hired as George Rekers official new Luggage Lifter!

  32. Anonymous says

    Fake Christians welcome Glen Beck even though he is a praticing Mormon but reject Ted Haggard a man who confessed the real Jesus of the bible (not book of Mormon) as his Lord and Savior. God has forgiven him, but many refuse too. They instead let Glenn Beck deceive people right into hell and make Mormonism acceptable and let Beck get away with claiming he is a Christian

    Mormon Doctrine Simplified:

    Founder Joseph Smith contrary to the Christian bible claimed an angel named Moroni gave him another true Gospel and denounced the one we already had from 2,000yrs ago.

    God has a physical body and so does his wife.

    No Trinity. Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are three separate gods. People can become gods.

    Jesus was created by sexual union between God and Mary.

    Jesus was married.

    Jesus’ death does not atone for all sin.

    Baptism for the dead.

    Joseph Smith said blacks like animals had no souls and could not inherit heaven or Salvation. Dark skinned people were not granted Mormon privileges until 1978.

    8) Jesus and Satan were spirit brothers.

    For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light
    .2nd Corinthian 11:13-14 Judas Traitors is what they are!