Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    If Anderson Cooper had any strength of character, he would come out, which is what he could do to help stop this by making it clear that there is nothing wrong with being gay. I have no respect for this man.

  2. Jonathan says

    Jeremy at Goodasyou posted reactions from NOM and worldnetdaily, and it’s truly vile. Beyond the typical correlation is causation nonsense to blaming the victim and making light of their death. One jackass even used the term “tyranny of tolerance” to portray Christianists as the victims of PC culture. It makes my blood boil.

  3. dizzy spins says

    Clementi’s death is a tragedy, but from his own account on an Internet messageboard, his (douchebag) roommate just filmed him KISSING another guy. YES the roommate is a jerk, but he didn’t clearly commit an atrocity that drove Clementi to commit suicide.

    As someone who’s dealt with both anti-gay bullying and depression, I dont think you can’t just draw a line between the two events and paint the roommate as being fully culpable. Clementi might have been dealing with internalized homophobia or some other issue.

    Clementi’s death is a loss, but Im starting to get angry at today’s gay youth, who are facing much less oppression than past generations, but taking the easy, cowardly way out.

  4. stephen says

    Not a big fan of Dr. Phil, but very pleased at his response- removing the gay from the equation (this would be devastating to anyone), while emphasizing that the perpetrator was indeed homophobic (clearly this was sensationalist.)

    Just such a shame. I want both perpetrators to have to register as Sex Offenders for the rest of their lives.

  5. ratbastard says

    Tyler chose to kill himself. He certainly didn’t have to, and it was an irrational act. His situation in life,at least as it’s publicly known, was pretty good and many would be envious. I myself know people who are in much more difficult situations in life than Tyler was, dealing with far more serious issues than being caught have sex with a guy by your college room mate, and they persevere. There’s a young guy from Staten Island (NYC) who lost all 4 limbs from an IED in Afghanistan. He’s learning to to walk and function with 2 artificial arms, hands and legs. He hasn’t killed himself. He is FAR worse of than Tyler was.

    People need to step back and get a grip.

  6. mad1026 says

    @RATBASTARD: Tyler is DEAD…here you are bullying him still. Tyler wasn’t just caught by someone having sex with another guy; he was videotaped and the videotape was posted on line for the world to see! I’m glad your mythic quadruple amputee is recovering; Tyler can’t. You, my friend, are the one who needs to get a grip and realize that children are killing themselves because people (like you?) are telling them they are worthless and objects of scorn.

  7. terry says

    I don’t think blaming the victim this moment is being very helpful right now. This has become an epidemic; citing their weak will is hardly helpful. We have to call attention to why LGBT youth are being driven to suicide rather than griping about their youthful inexperience. It makes us sound like a bunch of cynical queens.

  8. Sonnysideup says

    Enough with the he didn’t have to kill himself..he didn’t have to but he did and why? Because of those sick bullies.

    They made him do it

    They are the murderers

    If I were in Tyler’s shoes I would hope to have the strength to look for help elsewhere within those few days but I don’t blame him at all for jumping..I blame those homophobic killers who beat him down SOO much, made him feel so worthless, took so much of his self worth away that his only escape was to jump.

    They are to blame NOT Tyler

    RIP Tyler

  9. says

    Indeed, Crispy. On every thread with a gay suicide or a gay bashing, a certain rodent finds a way to dismiss the victim (while claiming not to dismiss the victim) or question the veracity of the bullying or devalue the tragedy as less significant than another. It’s typical for straight people to undermine the importance of gay deaths, but it’s curious when a gay person consistently does the same on a gay blog. But one never knows what motives lurk behind the anonymity . . .

  10. Zach says

    “Clementi’s death is a loss, but Im starting to get angry at today’s gay youth, who are facing much less oppression than past generations, but taking the easy, cowardly way out.”

    He didn’t have a responsibility to not kill himself just because you might have had it worse off. Generally, people who commit suicide are suffering from clinical depression. They don’t care about how much oppression you faced.

    Invariably, the people who go out of their way to bash suicide victims suffer from their own self-centered beliefs. They think that because they can handle it, everyone else should as well. Well, some people can’t handle it, and they need help, not assholes telling them to buck up.

  11. eric k says

    So much emotion around this. When I was 9 my stepfather shot himself in the head. Fo most of my life I’ve viewed suicide as the cowardly act of a weak person who has no regard for (and most likely contempt) for those left behind. When I was in (all male, catholic) high school there was a gay kid systematically bullied and he hung himself. I rationalized that he was just too weak and unable to deal with the world (he was a chronic outsider and clearly deeply depressed beyond the bullying). Thinking about this kid, who from the little we know, seems like he had a bright future ahead of him and was comfortable enough with his sexuality (not closeted and sexually active…) I just can’t shake the feeling that today’s gay youth is a very disturbing place. Yes they have visibility to healthy happy gays, it’s much easier to come out… But that’s a double edged sword: they don’t have to develop the thick skins a lot of us did. For all the bullying and homophobia that clearly exists there is an acceptance that shortens the process. The problem is society at large says it’s OK to be gay while our laws and our religions constantly remind you that you are an outsider, a freak, less than, and hell-bound. All things I had to deal with but I had to develop a LOT of strength to take it all on. It seems like these otherwise happy kids just can’t deal. We need so much to change and so much more support for Gay youth. It’s just tragic and deeply heartbreaking.
    As for Anderson Cooper, I get it: he wouldn’t be where he’s at as an out gay man, he wouldn’t have the credibility as an unbiased journalist (it’s ridiculous but true.) But enough already. Stop dancing around it. Everyday you send a coded message that your fine with being gay but society would not have it. Not a great message for anyone struggling to see a happy gay future for themselves. He doesn’t owe it to anyone and he’s not responsible for gay suicide, but he could make a difference and that should be enough for him.

  12. LightningBoalt says

    @Anonymous: “If Anderson Cooper had any strength of character, he would come out, which is what he could do to help stop this by making it clear that there is nothing wrong with being gay. I have no respect for this man.”

    The gay community gains little if anything by Anderson Cooper coming out. Pretty much every gay person assumes he’s gay already, but by not being officially out, he can play the part of an ally and reach more people.

    I think his most important role is to speak to those whose views are in the middle and those who will listen only to a perceived straight white male than it is to to have someone to point to and say “Look, he’s gay, too.” The latter might make the gay community feel better, but it doesn’t actually accomplish anything.

  13. Will says

    I have to agree with the comment starting “If Anderson Cooper had any strength of character” etc etc.

    By refusing to come out Cooper perpetuates the notion that there is something shameful about being gay, which of course there isn’t.

    So young people get very mixed messages.

    I have no respect for Cooper, or other famous people in the same position, either.

  14. ratbastard says

    Where did I ‘bash’ Tyler Clementi? I didn’t. I pointed out that his act of suicide is irrational, which it is. I pointed out that, on the surface at least, he had a pretty good life that would make some others less fortunate envious.

    Tyler Clementi DID NOT have to kill himself…he had MANY more viable and sane options; and although what occurred in the dorm room was obnoxious, and he clearly had an obnoxious room mate, these things could have been pretty easily rectified.

    I’ll say it again: There are A LOT of people who have much worse off…people similar to Tyler contemplating suicide need to think about that. There is no harm in my saying this and pointing it out. It doesn’t make me un-empathetic or a bully.

    And speaking of fucking bullies, check out how all the angry [fill in the blank] gang up on others on this forum and others. Look in the God damn mirror before accusing someone else of acting like a bully, assholes.

  15. says

    Ratbastard, you’re implying that the victim here did something wrong.

    Which is stupid, and offensive, and clearly, CLEARLY marks you as an asshole.

  16. james says

    Keep in mind that Anderson Cooper reports the news, he isn’t the news. I don’t know anything about Tom Brokaw’s personal life and nor do I need to. I think it is enough for Anderson to keep these dialogues going and continue to shine a light on these gay-related topics.

  17. dms says

    I agree with the folks that say anderson should come out. He’s more or less out anyway; there are plenty of pix with he and his bf out and about. SO what’s the big deal? I agree with the opinion, that by staying in the closet he is perpetuating the idea that if you are gay there is something to be ashamed of.

    To those with no empathy to the people that commit suicide. Why don’t you do us all a favor. Do you need a google map to a bridge?

  18. ratbastard says

    You know what? HE DID do something wrong! He KILLED himself for a basically bullshit reason (some people actually have legit reasons for killing themselves). DON’T ROMANTICIZE what Tyler did. There’s nothing romantic about walking to the middle of the GWB and jumping into the Hudson, your decomposing corpse floating 30 blocks north before being found.

    If you’re contemplating suicide and you’re in a similar situation as Tyler was, STOP, THINK, and act rationally. Life is short and then you’ll have an eternity of death.

  19. Brad says

    I’m kind of shocked with how heartless people are. So much judgement on this man. You didn’t know him so maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to label him weak. We can’t see into peoples hearts and know what torments them. So how about a little compassion for a life lost.

    And I don’t see how Anderson Cooper owes anything to people who want him to come out. It’s his right to decide when and where that happens and who deserves to know.

  20. ratbastard says

    The road to hell is PAVED WITH GOOD (or alleged good) INTENTIONS.

    There is NOTHING…NADA, wrong with pointing out Tyler shouldn’t have jumped off the GWB. It doesn’t signify a lack of sympathy or empathy. In fact, it’s the opposite.

  21. Tom in Long Beach says

    Poor Tyler. None of us will know what he was going through. It is just tragic.
    As for Anderson Cooper. I do not care about his personal life, But if he was spouting hate and in the closet I would want him outed.

  22. says

    “You know what? HE DID do something wrong! He KILLED himself for a basically bullshit reason (some people actually have legit reasons for killing themselves).”

    And you wonder why people are “ganging up” on you? Just because you think it was a bullshit reason, obviously Tyler didn’t. When someone feels backed into a corner so desperately that they can’t see a way out, telling them to be more sane and rational because other people in the world have more legitimate reasons for killing themselves isn’t helpful. It’s the sort of presumptive arrogance that places value judgments on emotional distress. When someone commits suicide their emotional distress, whatever it is, isn’t bullshit.

    If we’re to question choices in this sad story, shouldn’t we be questioning the choice of roommates/friends who think it’s ok to publicly humiliate another human being for sport? The people who grossly invaded his privacy had the option to stop and think, be rational, and stop what they were doing. They didn’t. And they have blood on their hands.

  23. Bart says

    Ratbastard, your ignorance is astounding. Whatever message you are trying to convey is lost in your own petty, presumptious, hollow clatter. Mark Twain said something that applies here: Better to remain silent and be assumed a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

  24. says

    I wonder how the guy who Tyler was with is taking this. How devastated he must be. This is why we need parents to teach compassion and decency to their kids. There is something seriously wrong with parenting in this country if this keeps on happening. I hope the bo finds peace in the ever-after.

  25. Jack M says

    This would be a good time for Anderson to come out. What will it take for him to man up and do it?

  26. TANK says

    I think that’s probly the closest AC is going to get to coming out for a long time. RE: “It gets better”.

  27. Houndentenor says

    It would help if he came out. It helped that Ellen came out. We all knew she was gay but the general public did not. As hard as it is to imagine, most Americans are not aware that Coop is gay. I don’t think at this point it would hurt his career in any way. But I guess with a new talk show being launched he’s not going to risk it right now.

  28. Timzilla says

    This was assuredly just not one bullying incident in this young man’s life, it was the most despicable in a probable long-line of harassment and bullying. While I usually find Dr. Phil a sanctimonious windbag, he is correct in pointing-out that it is obvious there was no support whatsoever for this young man, no outrage from anyone in his immediate student community about the cruel and abhorrent act of his roommate and dorm neighbor and no support from anyone that he was wronged in anyway. In fact, as is the usual MO for homophobes, the victim was blamed by the victimizer. Apparently there is some question on whether the RA was involved and did nothing, which would make the University culpable as well.

    What I fear most is that as we come closer and closer to achieving some semblance of full civil rights, the homophobic bullying and attacks on our GLBT youth by privileged, self-entitled heterosexuals who truly hate the idea of equality for us will intensify. It will be all they have left.

  29. veraprima says

    As a person who has come close to suicide–in my youth–I have to offer some insight. Suicide is often highly impulsive, that’s why people Tyler’s age are particularly in danger. It’s a time of life when emotions can be overwhelming and deeply painful, and when you don’t have the perspective to see beyond your own pain. Like Dr. Phil said, he must have (incorrectly) thought that he was damaged for life. I just want to reach back in time and hug him, and tell him how good the journey of life can be, even with the rough patches.

  30. Lexxvs says

    I think many people do not understand that many young gay people still don’t have the mental preparation to face the cultural implications of what they are, closeted cases that maybe –just maybe- were comfortable with their secret being that way. Being over dramatic, over sensitive and irrational can be part of being young that’s why they need support when in distress. Dismissing their pain obviously doesn’t help but add to the injury. America is a huge country, one where you can have people from places more like the middle ages when it comes to religion and sexuality and other places where there is plenty of information and understanding, so you can’t give for granted that everyone is prepared to face reality even if we think is not a big deal.

  31. says

    Dr. Phil gets this so wrong it’s bizarre. Something tells me Tyler Clementi wasn’t concerned about future job applications. Also, initial reports said the video only showed him kissing a dude…the story has morphed into having full on sex. Either the initial story was wrong (without a correction) or the media is playing it up into a sexy technology story and trying to equate coming out against your will into embarrassing Facebook photos.

  32. anon says

    Dr. Phil is a joke. He never says anything that anyone with a whit of common sense wouldn’t say. Where is all that medical training being put to use? Suicide is largely the result of chronic, severe and clinical depression. Untreated depression is very common, and it is hard to treat. It is a medical condition. Bullies are known for focusing their efforts on the emotionally vulnerable. However, it is highly unlikely that bullying by itself triggers the depression. Even if we eliminated all bullying the untreated depression will inevitably result in a large number of suicides, probably nearly the same as before.

  33. MarkDC says

    Cooper does not have to come out. Co-anchors or guests on his show can simply refer to his partner if and when it is necessary.

    Then he’s officially out without having to make goofy “official announcement”.

    Everyone perpetuates Cooper’s closet by letting him get away with this.

    The “closet” and the need to “come out” are heterosexual fantasies. We need to stop pretending they are boundaries in our lives.

  34. Phil says

    How many people here know about Wolf Blitzer’s sexuality. Why not? Why aren’t we demanding that Wolf explain his private sexual behavior.

    And Andrea Mitchell. What vile things is she doing with Alan Greenspan? (ewwww).

    Anderson Cooper is doing a great job advancing the interests of the gay community. Everybody knows he is gay and he lives his life that way. Other than that, why should a journalist discuss his or her private life?

    As far as Tyler Clementi, everyone here and in the media is making guesses about his state of mind. We know about the publicized incident, but who knows what other issues he was grappling with? How serious was his depression? What other factors contributed to his state of mind? Nobody here knows.

    There are aspects to life other than just being gay. Is Anderson Cooper the Gay Newsman, or is he a simply a news man? Did Tyler Clementi play the gay violin?

    Just because I am gay does not mean I know everything about the lives of other gay men.

  35. BobN says

    Why anyone turns to Dr. Phil about any issue regarding gay people is beyond me.

    Anyway, when we get a better understanding of what transpired last week and what led to Tyler killing himself, I think a lot of people’s assumptions are going to be proven wrong.

    What won’t be wrong, though, is that homophobia is the heart of the problem.

  36. BobN says

    As to the sexuality of other “news” figures, one has only to read the dedications in their various books to find out if they’re straight.

    They don’t talk about it all the time, of course, but they don’t keep it a secret either.

    This isn’t a complaint about AC, just an observation. He’s free to do what he wants, though it’s not what I would do.

  37. FunMe says

    F*** the RATS.

    Who cares what those ass holes have to say. IGNORE them just like you would any pest!

  38. says

    Anderson said he was a brilliant violinist. Was he pursing a career in the hyper-competitive world of concert musicians? If so, we all know the slightest stain can separate one candidate from another. Tyler may have thought this video alone would make it next to impossible for him to fulfill his dream to play in, say, the Boston Philharmonic.
    In that one day, that one hour, he may have been unable to see beyond his emotional distress and panic and saw only a ruined life that could have been …

  39. james Brown says

    I can only look at that sweet face of Tyler, who is no longer here. Whether he was “perfect” or not, that sweet face should have been given love, and wasn’t. When will our humanity stop cannibalizing each other?

  40. mattman says

    Ok guys, Anderson Cooper is OUT. We all know it, we see him with his boyfriend around town, we see him at gay clubs and bars. He lives an out life. His job as a journalist is to not make himself the story, but to report the news. And he does that most effectively when he is not seen as taking one side or the other.

  41. Wil says

    1. We don’t know the whole story about Tyler. His post-humiliation posts sounded rational and certainly not suicidal. Was there another factor? Was he depressive? Did something else happen? Can we say for sure, as an astounding number of high-profile people have, that he killed himself because his roommate filmed him doing…something? (No definitive details on that.) Yes, the roommate is an immature (and probably closeted gay) jerk, but let’s not make causal links without information.

    2. It’s true that AC is a journalist and his own life perhaps should not be a story. But he made it one when he wrote a personal memoir about his brother’s own depression/suicide, and when he appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair. He has made himself a celebrity–a journalist, but also a celebrity–and I do think there is a certain obligation to at least acknowledge his sexuality. Though something tells me it’s not AC but rather CNN who is keeping this from happening.

  42. DiamondTears says

    @RatBastard

    Well, your comments are un-empathetic, even if you think otherwise. I get where you are coming from, but at the same time, I think you are a total asshole for thinking that way.

    Just because another person has it worst off than you, doesn’t mean your own pain is minimalized, worthless, and should be ignored.

    You failed to realize that not everyone has a thick skin like you. Also, you failed to realize that this is a much bigger issue than just one teen suicide. It’s about how people think it’s okay to continue gay bashing and treat gays as a lesser being. Your comments continue to perpetuate the idea that gay bashing is okay because obviously you are blaming the victim. What kind of fucked up person does that?

    You have your right to your own opinion, but your mother should have taught you that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it. Sorry if you were brought up by shitty parents (if any) and you were never given the love you deserved, but who cares–there are people out there that have it much worse than you did.

  43. Theo says

    I think for adults who struggled and already succeeded when it comes to term with his or her sexuality, in these case Anderson is out or in the closet is not a matter at all. However, young people view him differently if they know Anderson is gay and is in the closet. It’s simply not good for young people.