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The Rapture is Coming on May 21, 2011, Noah's Ark in 2014

Nashville

The rapture is coming on May 21, 2011, or so say more than 40 billboards around Nashville, Tennessee and eight other U.S. cities:

Fans of Family Radio Inc., a nationwide Christian network, paid for the billboards. Family Radio's founder, Harold Camping, predicted the May date for the Rapture.

Their message is simple — "He Is Coming Again" — and their aim is to get unbelievers to turn around quickly. But critics say the billboards are a waste of time, one more failed attempt to predict the end of the world. The Rapture is going to be a great day for God's people but awful for everyone else, said Allison Warden, 29, who orchestrated Nashville's billboard campaign.

Maybe somebody should tell taxpayers in Kentucky, so they money they're paying to fund a Biblical theme park with a full-size Noah's Ark won't go to waste! Tax breaks from the state for the Creationist park are expected to top $37 million.

Ark NYDN:

The park, which Kentucky expects to draw more than a million visitors each year, is projected to cost $150 million, the Louisville Courier-Journal reported.

"Make no mistake about it," Beshear said, according to the paper. "This is a huge deal."

The amusement park will include a 500-foot-long wooden replica of Noah’s Ark complete with live animals, according to the project's website.

"We are constructing a full-scale, all-wood ark based on the dimensions provided in the Bible (Genesis 6), using the long cubit, and in accordance with sound established nautical engineering practices of the era," wrote Ark Encounters, one of the groups behind the project.

The ark is a collaboration between Ark Encounters LLC, a for-profit company, and a non-profit company, Answers in Genesis, which runs the Creation Museum — a museum that educates children about the Bible through interactive exhibits in Petersburg, KY.

The park also plans on having a Walled City, Tower of Babel, "first-century Middle Eastern village", a journey in history and a petting zoo.

But WILL THERE BE DINOSAURS ON THE ARK?

That was a question asked at Governor Steve Beshear's press conference for the theme park, which, unfortunately, will never come to fruition because the rapture will have happened two years prior.

This is today's America.

Watch it, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Comments

  1. Apparently, the people working on the ark didn't get the "Jebus Is Coming Back Home" memo from the Fans of Family Radio. Perhaps they should stopping working on the ark until May 22nd.

    Posted by: David in Houston | Dec 3, 2010 8:25:01 AM



  2. 2000 years ago, on a mythical boat:

    Noah's wife: "Wait a minute- how can we get 7 of each clean animal on Earth and 2 of each unclean one, when we haven't even discovered half of the land-masses on the planet yet, and in two thousand years time they're still finding dozens of new animal species every day? And what do we do with the aquatic animals? Or the plants? Do we just leave them to chance, or what?! And hey, how do we stop the predators from eating the herbiv-"

    Noah: "-Shut up woman, or it's over the side for you!"

    Posted by: wirrrn | Dec 3, 2010 8:39:09 AM


  3. Silver lining time: maybe they'll all kill themselves to go with Jesus, and be out of our hair for good.

    Posted by: Roscoe | Dec 3, 2010 8:47:07 AM


  4. I live in Louisville, which is actually very progressive and gay-friendly... but I am also very disturbed by this whole creationist park. I am guessing they will be serving kool-aid at the opening.

    Posted by: g Brent | Dec 3, 2010 8:57:09 AM


  5. May 21, 2010 is a Saturday. Hmm, maybe Jesus has a new album dropping that day?

    Posted by: ichabod | Dec 3, 2010 8:57:44 AM


  6. I'm not an expert, but even basic bible scholars know this verse:

    Mark 13:32 (KJV) — But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but only God.

    Those believers sure are going to look silly on that Saturday.

    Posted by: johnny | Dec 3, 2010 9:08:46 AM


  7. Time to find a bunch of credit cards that don't come due until June.

    Posted by: Wrecks | Dec 3, 2010 9:09:29 AM


  8. uhm, apparently you guys (AKA Americans) don't understand the principle of separating church and state?.....

    Posted by: mark | Dec 3, 2010 9:11:45 AM


  9. I hope someone in Kentucky sues the state to stop the tax breaks. While the park is not specifically a religious organization but a for-profit business, it will be promoting a particular religious view.

    Also, amusement parks in general, and religion-themed amusement parks in particular, are a declining business model. Religion-themed amusement parks are not successful businesses. This is a bad investment for the State of Kentucky from a purely business perspective.

    Posted by: james | Dec 3, 2010 9:15:33 AM


  10. So it's a dinosaur petting zoo? Jurassic Ark? That could be dangerous.

    Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen | Dec 3, 2010 9:21:11 AM


  11. weeel, so all those obnoxious people will be taken away five days before my birthday? what an awesome present!

    Posted by: Sean | Dec 3, 2010 9:31:01 AM


  12. @ichabod: Jesus doesn't roll on Shabbos.

    As for me, I can't make it on May 21--I already have a Trapper Keeper full of appointments for that day.

    Posted by: Thomasina | Dec 3, 2010 10:06:37 AM


  13. yeah, I recently had a women try to push this crap on me at the local gas station. "jesus is coming back May 21, 2011....blah blah"

    I told her i didn't speak fairytale and that her religion was evil and supported slavery. That her jesus if he even existed supported slavery.....(she was african american) and she totally clutched her pearls and was all aghast at my heathen-ness

    Posted by: [email protected] | Dec 3, 2010 10:08:39 AM


  14. PS

    Wirren LOL

    Noah's boat per the fairytale book's description of size couldn't carry all the different monkey kinds let alone anything else

    :-P

    Posted by: [email protected] | Dec 3, 2010 10:12:04 AM


  15. quick pass the koolaid. it just keep getting worse. how come there were no dinosaurs on the
    ark? is that why they are extinct noah left them behind.

    Posted by: walter | Dec 3, 2010 10:24:19 AM


  16. Hey PETA. Hey ASPCA. Hey any other animal rights group. Are you planning on checking into the viability of confining live animals in what can only be described as a hell hole. Only artificial lighting glaring day and night. No original sunlight which every living creature (at least of the kind they will be exhibiting on the Ark) requires for susistance. Not to mention confined quarters 24/7 and on an on ad nauseum. This sounds like its going to redefine animal cruelty to me. And all for the prurient enjoyment of we humans who buy into these fairy tales. It's insanity.

    Is anyone listening who is in a position to do something about this?

    Posted by: Mike | Dec 3, 2010 10:52:09 AM


  17. Is this "Rapture: The Movie"?

    Because it came out 18 years ago with a sexy Mimi Rogers who turns all Amy Grant after whoring it up lost its charm.

    If they're talking about the real rapture, that ship sailed ten years ago at the turn of the century.

    Posted by: Vince in WeHo | Dec 3, 2010 12:00:32 PM


  18. Let the fools have their tar-tar sauce!

    Posted by: Miche Rutledge | Dec 3, 2010 12:38:45 PM


  19. Came here from Shakesville.

    Now, personally, I think it's animal cruelty to leave all those poor, defenseless animals alone for 3 years. Someone call the Humane Society!!

    Posted by: mschicklet | Dec 3, 2010 12:55:15 PM


  20. I suppose the gay animals will be bludgeoned to death. In front of children. Because they've got to be carefully taught.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You%27ve_Got_to_Be_Carefully_Taught

    Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen | Dec 3, 2010 1:17:12 PM


  21. if the Ark Park generates tax revenue, then great then the tax breaks will be justified; most states need all the revenue they can get so maybe the Kentucky governor is looking at this as a way to separate fools from their money

    Posted by: Grover Underwood | Dec 3, 2010 2:12:17 PM


  22. What a crock! "We are constructing a full-scale, all-wood ark . . . in accordance with sound established nautical engineering practices of the era," wrote Ark Encounters, one of the groups behind the project.

    Considering the the "bible" is a mythical history of a nomadic DESERT tribe, I somehow don't think the Israelites were, um, seafaring people.

    More stupidity from evangelicals. One almost wishes there would be a "rapture" just to get rid of this religious vermin.

    Posted by: mikej | Dec 3, 2010 2:47:58 PM


  23. People have been predicting the end days since the invention of religion by people, a byproduct of evolved congitive traits...we are, in fact, born "believers,"--that's what research has revealed...that it's the default...we look for agency in patterns where there cleary isn't, and contrive elaborate justifications to explain our experience without actual investigation. And it takes varying degrees of effort to master this default--making sense of the world in any way possible ceases to be useful when better explanations exist--and overcome this tendency, reaffirmed by a diseased society that embraces and subsidizes religious belief/faith and demnonizes rationality and its absence.

    But yeah, this is a very old marketing scheme. It does provide amusing results for the suggestible (otherwise known as mentally ill who believe this stuff), who sell off all of their property and do really extreme things based on their false beliefs.

    Posted by: TANK | Dec 3, 2010 3:03:43 PM


  24. Ride the Arc with Noah and Tyrannosaurus rex!

    Posted by: Ninong | Dec 3, 2010 3:31:29 PM


  25. It's Official:

    The world was created exactly 6,014 years ago according to the official Kingdom of Heaven website: http://www.kingdomofheaven.info/timeline.htm

    Note: Kingdom of Heaven passports and driver's licenses are now available online.

    Posted by: Ninong | Dec 3, 2010 3:36:25 PM


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