Movies: Green Lantern, Les Misérables, Liza Minnelli

Green Lantern is at once ridiculously dumb and sort of enjoyable, especially if you just view it as one for the kiddie table. The best intentional laugh comes in a scene featuring test pilot Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) which riffs on superhero masks and secret identities. The worst unintentional joke is Carol Ferris herself who wears clothes as tight as Hal's energy spandex and so much lip gloss that it's like its own visual effect. That's what girl pilots look like, okay!?!

Green-villainThe most curious thing about Green Lantern is that despite a teletubby-friendly color palette and a plot that can best be described as purple, the movie is entirely black and white. So binary is the movie's thinking that there's even a running gag about "thinkers versus doers". "Doers" (like Hal Jordan) are the good guys and "Thinkers" (like Dr Hector Hammond played by Peter Sarsgaard, left) are bad. In the funniest visual embodiment of Hollywood's sturdy anti-intellectualism that you may ever see, the Thinker even grows a hideous enlarged cranium from his part in the unfolding evil. THINKING IS BAD FOR YOU!

(Wouldn't thinkers would be the best wielders of rings powered by the imagination? Oh, never mind.)

In a funny way studio filmmakers have the same gift as Hal Jordan. Their magic rings are powered by millions of dollars and the technology to move any image they dream up onto the screen. Dream harder Hollywood.

ALSO IN THEATERS
The once Almighty box office champ Jim Carrey is returning, with arctic co-stars (though we're betting they're CGI enhanced), in MR POPPER'S PENGUINS. And here's something to make anyone feel exceptionally old: Freddie Highmore, that tiny boy who acted opposite of Johnny Depp in both Finding Neverland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is now old enough to star in the romantic comedy THE ART OF GETTING BY. Still in theaters and previously reviewed (in case you're catching up): THOR, BEGINNERS and X-MEN: FIRST CLASS.

Hugh-on-broadway BONUS SCENE

Road Just last week in this very column we were talking about Hollywood's stupidity in not casting Hugh Jackman in a musical yet. Well, whaddyaknow? The Wolverine is now in talks to play the bread-stealing, power ballad belting Jean Valjean in the epic musical Les Misérables. It'll be director Tom Hooper's follow up to The King's Speech. And if that project is good enough for one ripped 40something hottie, how about two? Paul Bettany, in desperate need of a quality project, has already auditioned to play his nemesis Jalvert.

Dream a dream of someone great in the Fantine role… someone Best Supporting Actress Oscar-worthy!

THE CLASSICS

Blu-ray-new Road Three gay-appeal classics have just debuted on Blu-Ray. The rock musical Hair and the beloved drag comedy Priscilla, are both enjoying renewed cultural heat from recent Broadway adaptations. But the new Blu-Ray I'm shoving in the player first is Martin Scorsese's wildly underrated New York New York (1977) with Liza Minnelli. I saw it for the first time a few years ago and was startled by how strong it was. Why do so few people talk about it, still, whether they're talking up Scorsese's classics or Liza's career? Maybe it comes down to the fact that it had the misfortune of arriving into the world after Cabaret and Taxi Driver; no matter how good it is, it was going to be suffer in comparison. It's well worth a look if you haven't seen it or haven't seen it in years. It's also a pretty substantial reminder that Liza Minnelli was a formidable screen actress in her time. Her Oscar-winning performance in Cabaret was not a one-off.

Die hard Liza fans may want to make it a double feature with Lucky Lady (1975, also new to Blu-Ray) which is a little seen 70s curiousity. It's kind of an unholy mess, story-wise, but it's fun to watch for a good portion of the running time. Three big stars near the peak of their fame (Liza Minnelli, Burt Reynolds and Gene Hackman) play prohibition-era booze smugglers in a rather happy ménage-à-trois relationship… only in the 70s!

 

Comments

  1. Erick says

    I’m looking forward to seeing Green Lantern. So far, it has gotten mixed reviews but I’ll still watch it.

  2. Mike says

    You know the penis is a real part of the male body. so if he’s laying naked on a body scanner materializing his body suit, i don’t see why we can’t see “it”. we all want to 😛 he looks like a freakin Ken doll for God’s sake.

  3. dms says

  4. Keith says

    Now that we have “Priscilla” on blu-ray…can we get “Too Wong Foo” as well?

  5. Drew says

    In the Green Lantern sequel, I’d like to play the lab technician who sabotages the automated body scanner and must scan Ryan manually, foot by foot.

  6. Ryan says

    New York, New York has it’s moments, but suffers from the fact tgat Robert DeNiro’s character is insufferable, with no redeeming qualities. The character is not even interesting, just unwatchable.

    The only reason to see it is for Liza, who is incredible in it, but even she can’t save it from the stinking mess that is the psychopathic husband character. (i don’t fully blame DeNiro for his character, more Scorcese and the writers.)

  7. jaragon says

    Ryan Reynolds in 3-D!!! The problem with “New York New York” is that is has terrible script but the visuals and Liza are stunning.

  8. Bryan says

    I’m was absolutely amazed by Green Lantern. It’s the pinnacle by which the entire genre will be judged from now on.

    It’s without doubt the most vapid film I’ve ever seen. Having watched it last night, I can tell you that whats-his-name’s body looked very nice in his CGI suit and that it was very, very loud.

    This is not, mind you, a summary. It’s the complete, in depth analysis of the entire film. I’d bet my life on it, despite having wandered out well before the end, desperate to come home and organize my sock drawer.

  9. JT1961 says

    The Green Lantern was supposed to be a comic book movie and should be treated as such. Most people I talked to enjoyed the movie. to me, this was an introduction of the Hero for future reference in the coming years. If you are trying to look at this movie as a “Gone with the Wind” classic, of course you would not like it. What about the Hulk, Thor, Iron Man 2, they all Sucked lemons. So lets give the guy a chance.