1. Allen says

    This one story illustrates, and now his family will live through, the tortured lives that gay men forced into a closet by society live. At some point in his past he decided to hide who he was and a life of that has culminated in this. Now crack addicts will come out of the wood work claiming he “did” them too. He is responsable for his actions and is wrong, society and it’s treatment of gay played a part as well.

    Ever curious why we find these people hiding in churches, with wives, in yes the republican party? Why these closet cases choose to be Haggard and Senator wide-stance in a party that works against ENDA and DOMA repeal? Churches that daily vilify gays then cover-up for child rapist? Or psychologists who testify against gays in court then are busted with gay escort “travel companions”?

    As a gay man, these Birkenua camp guards that work to oppress others like themselves are particularly horrible creatures. They spend their lives working against us and then when exposed are used as an example of gay predatory behavior. When the truth is they
    are products of warping and lies and deceit in a world very very far away from the world open out functioning gay people live in. They are a product of a world that very little to do with us, but say quite a lot about how straight society has treated gays.

  2. jaime jones says

    Allen, you are completely right. They do it because they are adopting “protective coloration” (I believe that’s what the biologists call it). They want to blend in to hide their true status.

    They do it because they are weak and can’t face the difficulties of being openly gay in a homophobic society. But in the end sex is such a powerful drive that they take chances to satisfy their needs.

    I think we are nearing the end of this in American society, maybe one more generation to go.

    This case is particularly interesting in that the “protective coloration” not only is used for hiding in plain sight but also to generate opportunities to pursue the “hidden” agenda.

    A fine specimen for the socio-biologists handbook.

  3. Rin says


    but…they could be like you. Why didn’t YOU fold to these same forces? Why did YOU take a stand for honesty and integrity in your own life?

    No, no. It is not society’s fault or else YOU would be acting in the same way. It’s giving them a free pass for bad behavior. Should the Germans be let off the hook for allowing the Jews that were their neighbors to be carted off to the camps?

    Right is right. You did the right thing for yourself and others by being out. You could have just as easily did what they did and yet…you didn’t. Don’t let them off the hook.

  4. says

    Rin: Obviously no one is giving the man a “free pass” for making such awful choices and for breaking the law. The point being made is that the pressures of society can easily help someone make the choice to pretend to be straight and that dishonesty can lead to further lies, more deceptions, and, in this case, criminal behavior.

    I always am very thankful that I never fo pretended to be straight, but I know that, for many people, it does make some things easier in their lives. Current American society does encourage people to pretend to be straight, like it or not. How we, as individuals, choose to respond to this pressure depends on many other factors such as psychological issues, family dynamics, etc.

  5. Caliban says

    At some point it does come down to personal integrity. Here’s this guy who calls himself a Conservative Republican, who had a career in Law Enforcement and no doubt was elected Sheriff on a “tough on crime platform,” but he doesn’t have the guts or strength of character to be honest about who he is. So now (and how’s this for irony?) he’s locked up in jail that’s named for him.

    I’ve argued this before elsewhere, but in a way “coming out” is like virginity. There may be very good reasons for being a virgin at age 20, but if you’re still a virgin at 30 it’s dysfunctional and shows a lack of something, an inability to experience all of life’s possibilities. While I wouldn’t tell anyone to come out in a situation that is dangerous for them, at some point “I’m not ready” becomes a hollow excuse, dysfunctional because you’re living a life based on other people’s expectations and prejudices.

    There. I said it.

  6. Chris says

    Sheriff Grayson said this is sad. It is sad. It’s sad that Sullivan was so ashamed of his desires that he resorted to this bizarre behavior.

    Winding-up in a jail with your name on it is the definition of irony.

  7. TJ says

    RIN – it’s called reaction formation. The dissonance you feel between what you want and what you think you are supposed to want is so great that you take the opposite position. I don’t think it’s a matter of “integrity” unless you want to frame this as maintaining the integrity of an image to which you feel you must aspire.

    You – and for that matter, I – as a matter of personal integrity feel you must be and do what you know to be good and true. You and I feel that this means being genuine, being real about ourselves. This is our rule book, by which we must live. As much as I wanted to fit in and dated women and actually enjoyed “relations,” there was always something that seemed more true, which I couldn’t ignore and which my dissonance signaled to me.

    For others, integrity might mean not letting family, church, reputation, etc. down by going against the norm. That is their rule book. Breaking rules for some may cause more dissonance than would acknowledging and accepting desires or orientation. Heck, the guy was a sheriff! Don’t you think he might have highly valued authority and standards – or maintaining as much as he could the outward appearance that he did – more than personal desire (at least, as long as he could between trysts)?

  8. walter says

    how about another closeted repuks comes out. the list keeps getting longer.what is it with these frustrate conservative just can’t keep the zipper up an don’t care how they get it.

  9. David B. says

    cops on meth is rather common I would assume; they have access to supplies and even some straights can’t resist. I have been stopped on occasion by a “straight cop” sweating crystal — it is easy to spot if you have been around plenty of addicts.

  10. Grant says

    God, I actually knew this guy and went to HS & was friends with his son. Really nice guy. It is astounding the amount of these types of stories that are coming out with that generation…

  11. says

    If you want to read the original story from the investigator who actually worked on the story for many months and broke it before anyone else, not to mention all the facts about the case and allegations that the media failed to mention (probably because it wasn’t their story to begin with), then I suggest you check out this link and see what all this is about

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