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Eric Cantor's Wife Supports Marriage Equality: VIDEO


Like so many of his Republican counterparts, Eric Cantor has built his political platform in part on banning gay marriage.

The House Majority leader has been a leader in his party's fight to maintain the Defense of Marriage Act - a position that led Cantor to be heckled last October.

It's a surprise, then, to hear that his wife, Diana Fine Cantor, disagrees with Cantor's right wing stance on the issue. More than that, though, she willingly said so in a 60 Minutes interview this weekend, telling Lesley Stahl, "I do disagree [on gay marriage]. There's really that respect. If I expect him to respect my views that could be different, I certainly need to respect his.

While some political spouses keep their opinions to themselves -- Cindy McCain finally came out for marriage equality over a year after husband John failed to win the White House -- it's refreshing to hear Mrs. Cantor break with their partner on national television.

Watch the video AFTER THE JUMP...

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  1. she's actually wrong. she doesn't need to "respect" his view or opinion on the matter as his view is inherently disrespectful.

    that's like saying "i respect that my husband thinks black people should either be slaves or live in segregation"

    this is something the conservative right doesn't understand, along with low-thinkers in the middle: there is no "respecting differences of opinion" when the specificity of one's opinion centres around being disrespectful or unjust.

    all of this "hey, we need to respect them if we expect them to respect us" talk is for weak-minded spineless fools. when you claim to "respect' the disrespectful stance one has against you you are proving to them that you're a coward who cant' defy a bully. you're not making yourself look strong, you're making yourself look like a doormat.

    nice to hear she favours equality. sad to hear she doesn't understand intellectual discernment.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 2, 2012 12:10:15 PM

  2. I think we need to have a little perspective here. Of course you are not going to respect his opinions, but she's his wife and at some point you have to agree to disagree. Whats she supposed to do, make a stand and keep escalating it? As some point she could keep taking a stand until it undermines her marriage, obviously something she isn't or shouldn't really be willing to do. Give her a break.

    Posted by: Rob | Jan 2, 2012 12:17:09 PM

  3. I would find it refreshing if she found a large knife and plunged it into his cold, evil heart. For 60 Minutes, this was a supportive puff piece. Ooh, he likes rap! He programmed his son to say that his dad is cool! I bet that was *such* an accurate representation of his home life. He probably sees his family a few hours a week.

    If Kantor manages to continue getting this type of fawning coverage ("really, I'm not an evil freak fixated on impeding progress! I swear!" When every action he's taken gives lie to that claim), he might go further in politics. Which, obviously, would be a nightmare.

    At least they called him the most powerful Republican in Congress. Bet Boehner loved hearing that.

    Posted by: Paul R | Jan 2, 2012 12:19:12 PM

  4. explain "giver her a break"? I'm just pointing out that she's wrong.

    I'm, frankly, stunned at people who can marry bigots. Heaven help her children. "Gee, my husband doesn't think gay people deserve equal rights. i wonder if that says anything about his character?"

    yes. it does.

    you're wrong too, Rob. saving her marriage by ignoring the bigotry of her husband? imagine she has gay kids. she could end up losing a child due to her husband's anti-gay beliefs, by trying to "keep the marriage" together.

    I don't understand how one could marry a bigot, or not be troubled by their bigotry, or dismiss such bigotry as a "difference of opinion that needs to be respected"

    i wouldn't date a racist. it's amazing how many people, however, will date unrepentant bigots.

    "Whats she supposed to do, make a stand and keep escalating it?"

    Yes, actually. Just as many parents across America have to take a stand, and defy their spouse, to support their LGBT family members or friends. When more spouses stand up to each other, and call out each other's bigotry, then we'll get somewhere.

    I say this for every young person who watched one parent "accept and respect" the anti-gay stances of their wife or husband, rather than sticking up for their child.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 2, 2012 12:27:56 PM

  5. He's my congressman and is about the least engaged congressman on local issues and on the ground concerns I've ever seen. Small businesses only count for rhetoric and if they're large enough to support him. I'm actively involved on a Small Business Council and there is a lot of frustration about several key issues this past year his office took "national" positions on versus what was right for his district. And don't even ask about unemployment and health care coverage in his semi-rural district. I heard a small business owner say the other day after calling Cantor's over and over again for help (he didn't necessarily expect Cantor to agree, but was at leat hoping soemone could explain why Cantor was opposing bipartisan legislation already passed by the Senate that would save jobs in Richmond. The answer appears to be that it was against the Tea Party, but that was insane)--the guy said it was sad when your rep is more interested in being majority leader than your representative.

    At least people have stopped calling him hot. That was annoying, and people always expected me (because I was gay) to support him for that reason. I mean, seriously?

    I'll never vote for him again, but he'll win reelection, I'm sure.

    Posted by: Zabelfish | Jan 2, 2012 12:33:17 PM

  6. @little kiwi Straight up! I Couldn't agree with you more!

    Posted by: justinw | Jan 2, 2012 12:34:26 PM

  7. My sister supports marriage equality too. Who cares? Just like the evil dork Cantor's wife -- who cares? She's not in Congress, is she? And I don't care if she respects his opinion, I don't. She's married to him, that's her problem, not mine or any other fair minded, progressive person in this country.

    He's a horrible human being who tried to get 60 Minutes to make him look good. It didn't. It made him look like a dorky liar -- the kid who was picked on in grade school who is now trying to get back at people now that he has a little power (Rick Snatorum and this guy are the exact same...)

    Posted by: Bart | Jan 2, 2012 12:39:16 PM

  8. love is blindness. I don't judge. At least, she's for marriage equality. I'm happy when two people find each other and stick together. From the sounds of some of the comments, people here expect her to tell her husband, "Stand with me on gay marriage or we're getting a divorce." Really? That's an incredibly militant view to hold. But, those same people probably believe a gay like myself stands in the way of progress for marriage equality because I don't draw a hardline. I guess I better stop marching in the parades.

    Posted by: Cinesnatch | Jan 2, 2012 12:49:27 PM

  9. Little Kiwi . . . I thought your comments were very measured, thoughtful, and on the money.

    I have always wondered how women like Mrs. Cantor could become the Mrs. Cantor's in the world.

    A liberal democrat, really? It sounds while she claims a political stance that is the polar opposite from her husbands, she somehow manages to reconcile the widely variant between her world perspective, and that of her husband by COMPROMISING, and becoming a republican.

    Clearly, she is a woman of compromise whose beliefs are for sale. LOL . . . She probably should not be expecting the LGBT community to thank her for all her support.

    Here is the thing, ROB, the gist of what Little Kiwi pointed out, that whole respect schtick by Mrs. Cantor is nonsense: Writes Little KIWI: "that's like saying "i respect that my husband thinks black people should either be slaves or live in segregation."

    Put it this way: when one draws a moral line in the sand, essentially saying this far and no further, then scratches out that line in the sand, drawing a new line a little further back, and well within their compromising comfort zone, then, ROB, while we may respect what she has done to maintain her marriage, we are hardly obligated to respect her as a woman of strong character, and moral fiber, and whatever break you think she deserves for selling her beliefs for thirty pieces of silver, we are likewise not obligated to respect such a woman, and to see her for what she plainly is . . . a hypocrite.

    I would not want Mrs. Cantor to do anything to rock what is clearly a match made in heaven. On the contrary, watching these two love birds together all I could think was how much they suited one another.

    Posted by: Ricco | Jan 2, 2012 12:57:32 PM

  10. explain, Cinesnatch.

    she respects an inherently disrespectful view.
    is it also "incredibly militant" to say to someone "i find your beliefs bigoted and racist and your refusal to understand or extend compassion reveals you to be of weak character to me"?

    parades? i march with the my family in the pride parades every year. what does that have to do with anything? i never said she needed a divorce, i do however think she's needs a wake up call to Intellectual Honesty: there's nothing to "respect" in a bigoted and disrespectful social stance.

    you're happy when two people find each other and stick together. ok. her husband is not.

    its not about drawing a hardline, but having a spine and actually standing up for what is right and just, not sitting back because you're afraid to confront a bigot with truth.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 2, 2012 12:59:36 PM

  11. While it's true that his view is "inherently disrespectful" that in no way makes it comparable to a defense or slavery or segregation. Such a comparison is "textbook" Kiwi, otherwise known as specious reasoning. Just a little of the "intellectual discernment" this ardent child persistently calls for often finds him wanting. If Cantor were to promulgate the choiceless servitude of gay people or their enforced separation from the larger society, then you would have a sound comparison.

    Posted by: uffda | Jan 2, 2012 1:04:33 PM

  12. I don't call being married to a GOP bigot or voting for Republican bigots as "supports gay marriage". Quite the opposite, in fact.

    Posted by: shle896 | Jan 2, 2012 1:07:57 PM

  13. personally, i think it would be an interesting ultimatum for HIM: what does he value more: the opinion of his wife, her respect and his marriage to her or a bigoted stance against LGBT people?

    i've seen it in families for years doing LGBT Outreach - you know what makes a real point to these bigots? when their loving spouse lets them know that the anti-gay stance is what it is: indicative of an intolerant mind and closed heart.

    husbands and wives who let their spouse know that they find such a stance not only unappealing, but can EXPLAIN WHY.

    how a supposedly-progressive woman could bring children into the world with a man she knows doesn't respect diversity always boggles my mind.

    it's like all those barely-veiled racists online that say "no blacks or asians" - you know...i'm white, but i'd sooner eat glass than date someone who would dismiss an entire ethnic group like that. some of us have integrity and actual morals.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 2, 2012 1:08:58 PM

  14. You can tell little kiwi has never been in a long term relationship. Marriage is a compromise that is the way it is and anyone who has been married or a has had a long term relationship knows this to be true. My husband is not homophic, but he does not understand how a man could be with another man yet he supports their right to marry. I don't and will not hold his views against him. It is his right as a human being to think what he wants! It is not my job as his wife to persuade him to understand that you are born hardwired to love one sex or another. I remind him of this, but I don't force my own views down his throat.

    Posted by: classychazy | Jan 2, 2012 1:10:47 PM

  15. Mrs. Cantor break with *their* husband? I strongly suspect Ms. Cantor is female making her a she and the proper construction is *her* husband.

    We can be respectful and inclusive without comically butchering the English language.

    Posted by: Arthur | Jan 2, 2012 1:11:05 PM

  16. i've been in an LTR for years. I just don't date intolerant bigots whose chosen "opinions" have no intellectual merit whatsoever.

    perhaps some of you could date an unrepentant bigot. i could not. that's why my relationship has lasted. bigotry doesn't rear its head.

    you miss a point, Classychaz: despite your husband "not understanding gay people" he respects their right to equality. UNLIKE CANTOR.

    UFFDA, i know you now have a very emotionally-driven obsession to argue with me, but you still prove me right: his chosen "opinion" like those opinions of unrepentant racists, have no factual, intellectual or socially-backed-up merit. it's just a chosen discriminatory stance, based on insecurity, willful ignorance and prejudice.

    anti-gay bigotry and racism are equally abhorrent. one is neither worse, nor better, than the other.

    to those of you who have no problem marrying or dating bigots, i'm not sure what you want from me. congratulations that you have low standards when it comes to your partners? congrats. you aimed low and won!

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 2, 2012 1:21:33 PM

  17. and of course marriage, like all relationships, has element of compromise.
    it's just amazing that some people think respect for diversity is up for negotiation.

    there are all kinds of compromises i've made in my relationship with my boyfriend - none of which revolve around unjustifiable bigotry.

    i mean, come ON. "he's a great man! he's so sweet, and he cooks me dinner. sure, he hates jews and koreans, but i respect that because relationships are about compromise!"

    no, you aimed low and married a prejudiced man who refuses to see things from other people's perspectives. i don't know why you're happy about this.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 2, 2012 1:25:59 PM

  18. Republican ploy hoping other women will identify with her and tolerate bigoted views and vote their way because they are 'married' to other republican values.

    Posted by: Sue Ellen | Jan 2, 2012 1:28:31 PM

  19. She's just pandering. Barbara Bush did it on abortion in the 1980s/90s.

    Posted by: Jason | Jan 2, 2012 1:33:45 PM

  20. I know women Cinesnatch who have supported their husbands even after they have raped their daughters, or beat their sons.

    They sure loved their husbands. We are all so happy when two such people find each other and stick together . . . so very - very happy!

    Mrs. Cantor is a prostitute . . . and not the good prostitute, but the worse kind of a prostitute, one who, besides her sex, sells her morals and her beliefs, who expends her life force, all her energy, respecting and supporting a bigot, rather than grabbing every opportunity in this, her one and only life, to fight for what she claims she believes . . . for what? A house? The good life?

    Yes, we, all of us, are so very - very grateful to women like Mrs. Cantor who, for their fortitude, in that while they may wed and take bigots to their bed . . . well at least they are working hard to let us know that they disagree with their husbands, and they think we should should also be allowed to get married.

    With people like Mrs. Cantor . . .who needs Bea Arthur, or Elizabeth Taylor, or Judith Light?

    Do you see what I am saying. The best thing a prostitute like Mrs. Cantor can do is enjoy her little house, and keep quiet about her nullified beliefs, and her nullified life.

    Posted by: Ricco | Jan 2, 2012 1:34:31 PM

  21. I am in a very long term relationship and if my partner ever said he believed that not all people are created equal the relationship would have ended.

    I don't believe her anyway. To me it is just a political calculation that makes it easy for him to move to marriage equality if that is the way the wind blows.

    Cantor is why America is so screwed up right now. He would sell his country out to stay in power.

    Posted by: Joey | Jan 2, 2012 1:41:49 PM

  22. They have been married for 22 years. Being against gay marriage was not evidence of being a bigot in 1989... Far from it. As a matter of fact, even today, almost half the population is against gay marriage. We are making great progress, but it will only continue if we persuade the opposition, not turn our backs on them.

    All this criticism of Cantor's wife is just plain silly. Would you disown a family member for being against gay marriage? If so, you are a fool.

    Posted by: JP | Jan 2, 2012 1:49:07 PM

  23. "Would you disown a family member for being against gay marriage? If so, you are a fool."

    i'd disown a family member for not respecting an LGBT family member and their right to freedom, equality and respect in this country and world culture.

    if a family member chooses being anti-gay over you, or having your respect, then you have your answer: they don't love you as much as you thought they did. they'd rather continue to be anti-gay than continue to have your respect.

    clearly, some people are beggars and can't get someone with integrity. so they marry a bigot and hope for the best. eek, that's grim.

    for those that don't know how to address these issues to family members, here's a video of a heterosexual married couple talking about how to deal with anti-gay family members.

    this is how we win, folks - when we stop tolerating prejudicial bigotry. don't respect it, it's not worthy of respect.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | Jan 2, 2012 1:57:02 PM

  24. @Sue Ellen, good point.

    Posted by: Matt26 | Jan 2, 2012 1:58:26 PM

  25. @UFFDA: "If Cantor were to promulgate the choiceless servitude of gay people or THEIR ENFORCED SEPARATION FROM THE LARGER SOCIETY [emphasis mine], then you would have a sound comparison."

    Cantor voted against repealing DADT.

    Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation.

    Voted YES on Constitutionally defining marriage as one-man-one-woman.

    Voted YES on Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage.

    Rated 7% by the ACLU, indicating an anti-civil rights voting record.

    Rated 0% by the HRC, indicating an anti-gay-rights stance.

    Supports amending Constitution to define traditional marriage.

    If Cantor had his way, not only would gay men and women be excluded from equal marriage rights, we could also be ejected from our jobs, homes and schools. His position on civil rights for the GLBT community is directly analogous "to a defense or slavery or segregation."

    Posted by: Acronym Jim | Jan 2, 2012 2:05:24 PM

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