1. says

    she’s actually wrong. she doesn’t need to “respect” his view or opinion on the matter as his view is inherently disrespectful.

    that’s like saying “i respect that my husband thinks black people should either be slaves or live in segregation”

    this is something the conservative right doesn’t understand, along with low-thinkers in the middle: there is no “respecting differences of opinion” when the specificity of one’s opinion centres around being disrespectful or unjust.

    all of this “hey, we need to respect them if we expect them to respect us” talk is for weak-minded spineless fools. when you claim to “respect’ the disrespectful stance one has against you you are proving to them that you’re a coward who cant’ defy a bully. you’re not making yourself look strong, you’re making yourself look like a doormat.

    nice to hear she favours equality. sad to hear she doesn’t understand intellectual discernment.

  2. Rob says

    I think we need to have a little perspective here. Of course you are not going to respect his opinions, but she’s his wife and at some point you have to agree to disagree. Whats she supposed to do, make a stand and keep escalating it? As some point she could keep taking a stand until it undermines her marriage, obviously something she isn’t or shouldn’t really be willing to do. Give her a break.

  3. Paul R says

    I would find it refreshing if she found a large knife and plunged it into his cold, evil heart. For 60 Minutes, this was a supportive puff piece. Ooh, he likes rap! He programmed his son to say that his dad is cool! I bet that was *such* an accurate representation of his home life. He probably sees his family a few hours a week.

    If Kantor manages to continue getting this type of fawning coverage (“really, I’m not an evil freak fixated on impeding progress! I swear!” When every action he’s taken gives lie to that claim), he might go further in politics. Which, obviously, would be a nightmare.

    At least they called him the most powerful Republican in Congress. Bet Boehner loved hearing that.

  4. says

    explain “giver her a break”? I’m just pointing out that she’s wrong.

    I’m, frankly, stunned at people who can marry bigots. Heaven help her children. “Gee, my husband doesn’t think gay people deserve equal rights. i wonder if that says anything about his character?”

    yes. it does.

    you’re wrong too, Rob. saving her marriage by ignoring the bigotry of her husband? imagine she has gay kids. she could end up losing a child due to her husband’s anti-gay beliefs, by trying to “keep the marriage” together.

    I don’t understand how one could marry a bigot, or not be troubled by their bigotry, or dismiss such bigotry as a “difference of opinion that needs to be respected”

    i wouldn’t date a racist. it’s amazing how many people, however, will date unrepentant bigots.

    “Whats she supposed to do, make a stand and keep escalating it?”

    Yes, actually. Just as many parents across America have to take a stand, and defy their spouse, to support their LGBT family members or friends. When more spouses stand up to each other, and call out each other’s bigotry, then we’ll get somewhere.

    I say this for every young person who watched one parent “accept and respect” the anti-gay stances of their wife or husband, rather than sticking up for their child.

  5. Zabelfish says

    He’s my congressman and is about the least engaged congressman on local issues and on the ground concerns I’ve ever seen. Small businesses only count for rhetoric and if they’re large enough to support him. I’m actively involved on a Small Business Council and there is a lot of frustration about several key issues this past year his office took “national” positions on versus what was right for his district. And don’t even ask about unemployment and health care coverage in his semi-rural district. I heard a small business owner say the other day after calling Cantor’s over and over again for help (he didn’t necessarily expect Cantor to agree, but was at leat hoping soemone could explain why Cantor was opposing bipartisan legislation already passed by the Senate that would save jobs in Richmond. The answer appears to be that it was against the Tea Party, but that was insane)–the guy said it was sad when your rep is more interested in being majority leader than your representative.

    At least people have stopped calling him hot. That was annoying, and people always expected me (because I was gay) to support him for that reason. I mean, seriously?

    I’ll never vote for him again, but he’ll win reelection, I’m sure.

  6. Bart says

    My sister supports marriage equality too. Who cares? Just like the evil dork Cantor’s wife — who cares? She’s not in Congress, is she? And I don’t care if she respects his opinion, I don’t. She’s married to him, that’s her problem, not mine or any other fair minded, progressive person in this country.

    He’s a horrible human being who tried to get 60 Minutes to make him look good. It didn’t. It made him look like a dorky liar — the kid who was picked on in grade school who is now trying to get back at people now that he has a little power (Rick Snatorum and this guy are the exact same…)

  7. says

    love is blindness. I don’t judge. At least, she’s for marriage equality. I’m happy when two people find each other and stick together. From the sounds of some of the comments, people here expect her to tell her husband, “Stand with me on gay marriage or we’re getting a divorce.” Really? That’s an incredibly militant view to hold. But, those same people probably believe a gay like myself stands in the way of progress for marriage equality because I don’t draw a hardline. I guess I better stop marching in the parades.

  8. Ricco says

    Little Kiwi . . . I thought your comments were very measured, thoughtful, and on the money.

    I have always wondered how women like Mrs. Cantor could become the Mrs. Cantor’s in the world.

    A liberal democrat, really? It sounds while she claims a political stance that is the polar opposite from her husbands, she somehow manages to reconcile the widely variant between her world perspective, and that of her husband by COMPROMISING, and becoming a republican.

    Clearly, she is a woman of compromise whose beliefs are for sale. LOL . . . She probably should not be expecting the LGBT community to thank her for all her support.

    Here is the thing, ROB, the gist of what Little Kiwi pointed out, that whole respect schtick by Mrs. Cantor is nonsense: Writes Little KIWI: “that’s like saying “i respect that my husband thinks black people should either be slaves or live in segregation.”

    Put it this way: when one draws a moral line in the sand, essentially saying this far and no further, then scratches out that line in the sand, drawing a new line a little further back, and well within their compromising comfort zone, then, ROB, while we may respect what she has done to maintain her marriage, we are hardly obligated to respect her as a woman of strong character, and moral fiber, and whatever break you think she deserves for selling her beliefs for thirty pieces of silver, we are likewise not obligated to respect such a woman, and to see her for what she plainly is . . . a hypocrite.

    I would not want Mrs. Cantor to do anything to rock what is clearly a match made in heaven. On the contrary, watching these two love birds together all I could think was how much they suited one another.

  9. says

    explain, Cinesnatch.

    she respects an inherently disrespectful view.
    is it also “incredibly militant” to say to someone “i find your beliefs bigoted and racist and your refusal to understand or extend compassion reveals you to be of weak character to me”?

    parades? i march with the my family in the pride parades every year. what does that have to do with anything? i never said she needed a divorce, i do however think she’s needs a wake up call to Intellectual Honesty: there’s nothing to “respect” in a bigoted and disrespectful social stance.

    you’re happy when two people find each other and stick together. ok. her husband is not.

    its not about drawing a hardline, but having a spine and actually standing up for what is right and just, not sitting back because you’re afraid to confront a bigot with truth.

  10. uffda says

    While it’s true that his view is “inherently disrespectful” that in no way makes it comparable to a defense or slavery or segregation. Such a comparison is “textbook” Kiwi, otherwise known as specious reasoning. Just a little of the “intellectual discernment” this ardent child persistently calls for often finds him wanting. If Cantor were to promulgate the choiceless servitude of gay people or their enforced separation from the larger society, then you would have a sound comparison.

  11. says

    personally, i think it would be an interesting ultimatum for HIM: what does he value more: the opinion of his wife, her respect and his marriage to her or a bigoted stance against LGBT people?

    i’ve seen it in families for years doing LGBT Outreach – you know what makes a real point to these bigots? when their loving spouse lets them know that the anti-gay stance is what it is: indicative of an intolerant mind and closed heart.

    husbands and wives who let their spouse know that they find such a stance not only unappealing, but can EXPLAIN WHY.

    how a supposedly-progressive woman could bring children into the world with a man she knows doesn’t respect diversity always boggles my mind.

    it’s like all those barely-veiled racists online that say “no blacks or asians” – you know…i’m white, but i’d sooner eat glass than date someone who would dismiss an entire ethnic group like that. some of us have integrity and actual morals.

  12. classychazy says

    You can tell little kiwi has never been in a long term relationship. Marriage is a compromise that is the way it is and anyone who has been married or a has had a long term relationship knows this to be true. My husband is not homophic, but he does not understand how a man could be with another man yet he supports their right to marry. I don’t and will not hold his views against him. It is his right as a human being to think what he wants! It is not my job as his wife to persuade him to understand that you are born hardwired to love one sex or another. I remind him of this, but I don’t force my own views down his throat.

  13. Arthur says

    Mrs. Cantor break with *their* husband? I strongly suspect Ms. Cantor is female making her a she and the proper construction is *her* husband.

    We can be respectful and inclusive without comically butchering the English language.

  14. says

    i’ve been in an LTR for years. I just don’t date intolerant bigots whose chosen “opinions” have no intellectual merit whatsoever.

    perhaps some of you could date an unrepentant bigot. i could not. that’s why my relationship has lasted. bigotry doesn’t rear its head.

    you miss a point, Classychaz: despite your husband “not understanding gay people” he respects their right to equality. UNLIKE CANTOR.

    UFFDA, i know you now have a very emotionally-driven obsession to argue with me, but you still prove me right: his chosen “opinion” like those opinions of unrepentant racists, have no factual, intellectual or socially-backed-up merit. it’s just a chosen discriminatory stance, based on insecurity, willful ignorance and prejudice.

    anti-gay bigotry and racism are equally abhorrent. one is neither worse, nor better, than the other.

    to those of you who have no problem marrying or dating bigots, i’m not sure what you want from me. congratulations that you have low standards when it comes to your partners? congrats. you aimed low and won!

  15. says

    and of course marriage, like all relationships, has element of compromise.
    it’s just amazing that some people think respect for diversity is up for negotiation.

    there are all kinds of compromises i’ve made in my relationship with my boyfriend – none of which revolve around unjustifiable bigotry.

    i mean, come ON. “he’s a great man! he’s so sweet, and he cooks me dinner. sure, he hates jews and koreans, but i respect that because relationships are about compromise!”

    no, you aimed low and married a prejudiced man who refuses to see things from other people’s perspectives. i don’t know why you’re happy about this.

  16. Sue Ellen says

    Republican ploy hoping other women will identify with her and tolerate bigoted views and vote their way because they are ‘married’ to other republican values.

  17. Ricco says

    I know women Cinesnatch who have supported their husbands even after they have raped their daughters, or beat their sons.

    They sure loved their husbands. We are all so happy when two such people find each other and stick together . . . so very – very happy!

    Mrs. Cantor is a prostitute . . . and not the good prostitute, but the worse kind of a prostitute, one who, besides her sex, sells her morals and her beliefs, who expends her life force, all her energy, respecting and supporting a bigot, rather than grabbing every opportunity in this, her one and only life, to fight for what she claims she believes . . . for what? A house? The good life?

    Yes, we, all of us, are so very – very grateful to women like Mrs. Cantor who, for their fortitude, in that while they may wed and take bigots to their bed . . . well at least they are working hard to let us know that they disagree with their husbands, and they think we should should also be allowed to get married.

    With people like Mrs. Cantor . . .who needs Bea Arthur, or Elizabeth Taylor, or Judith Light?

    Do you see what I am saying. The best thing a prostitute like Mrs. Cantor can do is enjoy her little house, and keep quiet about her nullified beliefs, and her nullified life.

  18. Joey says

    I am in a very long term relationship and if my partner ever said he believed that not all people are created equal the relationship would have ended.

    I don’t believe her anyway. To me it is just a political calculation that makes it easy for him to move to marriage equality if that is the way the wind blows.

    Cantor is why America is so screwed up right now. He would sell his country out to stay in power.

  19. JP says

    They have been married for 22 years. Being against gay marriage was not evidence of being a bigot in 1989… Far from it. As a matter of fact, even today, almost half the population is against gay marriage. We are making great progress, but it will only continue if we persuade the opposition, not turn our backs on them.

    All this criticism of Cantor’s wife is just plain silly. Would you disown a family member for being against gay marriage? If so, you are a fool.

  20. says

    “Would you disown a family member for being against gay marriage? If so, you are a fool.”

    i’d disown a family member for not respecting an LGBT family member and their right to freedom, equality and respect in this country and world culture.

    if a family member chooses being anti-gay over you, or having your respect, then you have your answer: they don’t love you as much as you thought they did. they’d rather continue to be anti-gay than continue to have your respect.

    clearly, some people are beggars and can’t get someone with integrity. so they marry a bigot and hope for the best. eek, that’s grim.

    for those that don’t know how to address these issues to family members, here’s a video of a heterosexual married couple talking about how to deal with anti-gay family members.

    this is how we win, folks – when we stop tolerating prejudicial bigotry. don’t respect it, it’s not worthy of respect.

  21. Acronym Jim says

    @UFFDA: “If Cantor were to promulgate the choiceless servitude of gay people or THEIR ENFORCED SEPARATION FROM THE LARGER SOCIETY [emphasis mine], then you would have a sound comparison.”

    Cantor voted against repealing DADT.

    Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation.

    Voted YES on Constitutionally defining marriage as one-man-one-woman.

    Voted YES on Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage.

    Rated 7% by the ACLU, indicating an anti-civil rights voting record.

    Rated 0% by the HRC, indicating an anti-gay-rights stance.

    Supports amending Constitution to define traditional marriage.

    If Cantor had his way, not only would gay men and women be excluded from equal marriage rights, we could also be ejected from our jobs, homes and schools. His position on civil rights for the GLBT community is directly analogous “to a defense or slavery or segregation.”

  22. JP says

    Minds change over time… It is not so black and white as Kiwi thinks. I know many people who respect gay people, but are not 100% onboard yet with our causes. I hope to change minds, but it could take years.

  23. says

    JP, minds seldom change if they’re not given a REASON to change.

    check it out. this is how we win. as long as you “respect” an “opinion” that is about disrespecting others, an opinion which is indefensible and indeed harmful, you do not do anything to change it.

    if you’re not on board with Equality then you don’t actually respect LGBT people. fact. this is something people need to address and call out.

  24. JP says

    With all due respect, that video has nothing to do with this topic. The examples used in the video are turning a family member away from thanksgiving for being gay and causing physical harm to gay people… There is no evidence that Cantor would do either one of those. He has positions which are very much in the mainstream, even if I think he is wrong. You keep talking about disrespect. Please tell me exactly why his wife should leave him… Which exact position?

  25. says

    when did i say his wife should leave him? i didn’t.

    but if you can’t understand that the people who oppose LGBT Equality are the people who harbour anti-gay bigotry then I can’t help you.

    his wife should in no way be “respecting” his disrespectful beliefs. they need to be called out. it’s not a mere “difference of opinion” – it’s a specifically harmful opinion that indicates the person doesn’t have respect, compassion or empathy for those who are different.

    but hey, like i said, some of you may have no problem dating bigots, nor have the ability to stand up to the bigots in your own family. that’s sad.

  26. Hue-Man says

    I gave up trying to understand other people’s relationships long ago; the clincher for me was Carville/Matalan. I watched Kantor’s promo and skipped the rest of what looked to be a puff piece about one of the most despicable, unprincipled, power-hungry individuals in America. WHEN he gets caught – whether it’s sex, money, corruption, or all the above – I won’t spare a moment’s thought.

  27. Rob says

    @Little kiwi, and the others, people like you do more to push back progress than helping when you hold such bitterly uncompromising views. This woman says she supports marriage equality, and yet that still isn’t enough for you. Instead of just slamming anyone who doesn’t meet your live up to your idealist expectation, how about try to support her in a way that can bring about real change. This woman might not even have been supportive of marriage equality until recently, so is that not at least progress? Besides, arguing with her husband is not going to make him realize how wrong he is on LGBT issues. If you have any hope of educating someone who holds bigoted beliefs, you have to show them respect or else they will never listen. Clearly this is something you have not learned.

  28. says

    what’s “bitterly uncompromising” about calling out bigotry?

    you don’t change a bigots mind by “respecting” their baseless, disrespectful and bigoted views. you change minds when you call it what it is: bigotry. and you let the person know that their bigoted views are indeed negatively affecting how you feel about them.

    i dare say it’s a sad world when opposition to baseless anti-gay bigotry is seen as, as you put it, “bitterly uncompromising”

    the bitterly uncompromising one is the one who refuses to address their own prejudices.

    to educate someone and change hearts and minds one must first stop the nonsense that is “respecting bigoted and disrespectful beliefs”

  29. Mary says

    Kiwi, you know that I have respect for your intellectual and literary talents, but you must also know what I’m going to say here. Advocating that people cause family fights (or family divorces) over political issues is very poor political strategy. If the Cantors were just dating instead of married I could see your point. But married people need to put their families first – their own families.

    You say that you didn’t advocate that Mrs. Cantor divorce her husband. What then should she do? Push him on this issue and risk causing fights that could end up leaning to adultery (and God knows Republicans are good at it!) or divorce? I can’t imagine anything more likely to make borderline voters virulenty ANTI-gay then to hear that one family after another is breaking up because one spouse supports gay marriage and one does not. You always ask straight people “How does gay marriage adversely affect YOU?” Well, now they’ll be able to show that the issue has DIRECT harm.

    Think of it this way. Your cause already has an advocate inside of Eric Cantor’s home. Apart from seeing him change his position completely, what more could you ask for? If there’s anyone who could get a person to change his mind over time it would be a spouse. The glass is half full, isn’t it? You get my point.

  30. says

    yes Mary, but you therefore have no problem with people having “family fights” due to bigotry. congrats, you’re intellectually mediocre.

    “i know you hate black people, and our son married a black girl, but you have a right to your opinion so that’s ok”


    and weak.

    how, in any way, does this show that gay marriage causes anti-gay bigots direct harm? they’re suddenly “harmed” by being seen in a negative light for harboring bigoted beliefs that lead to harm against others?

    as usual, Mary, you make no sense.

    you seem to be saying she shuold not call out her husband’s bigotry. for her not to do so would be for her to prove that she’s not only afraid of her husband, but that she fears he disapproves of gays more than he cares about her respect for him.

    learn to discern, folks

  31. TJ says

    Re: Respect. People who are pushed, push back. Telling someone that they are wrong, disagreeing with them, causes people to defend their position, even when they are clearly wrong (ego defense and all that). Pretty basic interpersonal communication stuff.

    That having been said; on a personal level, I cannot imagine not sharing core values. I would not be with a partner who did not share my core values when it comes to civil rights. I would not be with someone who would not learn to challenge pre-conceived ideas and prejudices (because we all have prejudices, but we can learn to think and do differently). And I have disowned family members who have refused to learn.

  32. Acronym Jim says

    @Mary: “You say that you didn’t advocate that Mrs. Cantor divorce her husband. What then should she do?”

    At the very least? Refrain from saying that she “respects” her husband’s bigoted views. Perhaps she meant “understands,” which has a different connotation.

    I don’t believe anyone has suggested that another’s marriage end over this issue, but if it did, I would place the blame squarely in the bigot’s corner. Accomodationist tactics don’t work. Martin Luther King never said “don’t stir up trouble at Woolworth’s or the bigots will hate us more.”

  33. BobN says

    Oh, spare me the hypocrisy. If she really supported marriage equality, she would say on national TV that she doesn’t understand why he opposes civil unions.

    This is just another Stepford wife doing her Republican duty to humanize her bigot-for-life. I don’t bloody care about her views.

  34. says

    so…you’re worried that people will be “more anti-gay” when they find out that families are being torn apart due to family members standing up for Human Equality?

    I suppose it doesn’t bother you one bit to accept the reality that being anti-gay is what tears families apart. No family has ever been torn apart because a family member is LGBT – they only get orn apart because other members are anti-LGBT.

    this is continuously lost on you.

    this in no way would show that “gay marriage has a negative effect on straight people” , only that anti-gay prejudice has a negative effect on EVERYONE. which it does.

    being gay harms no families. being anti-gay harms all families.

    it speaks volumes about your lack of character, and faith in the good in mankind, that you think people, when faced with such a hypothetical family dialogue, would choose to be anti-gay, rather than to choose to embrace understanding and diversity and be Pro-Equality.

    i’m greatly relieved to know you will never have children of your own, Mary.

  35. RDUB says

    Sue Ellens comment is spot on. This is an attempt to get the message out to Republican wives that A) Your husbands bigotry is not a deal-breaker for your relationship and B) Being pro-equality is not a reason to not vote Republican. Both messages are garbage.

  36. says

    i’m always puzzled by those that say “gays like you are going to turn more people away from our cause”…

    really? why, then, are there no anti-gay people in my life? at all. in any way. not in family, not in friends, not in my church community, not in my extended social and work circles.

    i don’t say what i do, in the way that i say it, because everyone around me is Pro-Equality. Everyone around me is pro-Equality because i do what i do, in the way that i do it.

    that’s why i keep doing it. it gets results. if it didn’t work i’d still have anti-gay people in my life. they’re not anti-gay anymore.

    for too long people were social pariahs for being LGBT.

    Mary’s argument might as well be “integration totally made victims out of white people who hate black people because they were then unjustly vilified simply because they hate black people.”

    wrong. they’re vilified because they’re bigots. gay marriage won’t negatively affect anyone’s lives. beign anti-gay will negatively affect everyone’s lives.

  37. says

    “sure, my husband hates jews, but him hating jews and passing legislation to keep jews as second class vilified citizens isn’t as important as me keeping my mouth shut in order to not cause problems”

    what a cowardly way to live and think. the problem will not be the woman who addresses the fact that her husband’s bigoted beliefs are embarrassing, harmful and indicative of his lack of compassion for others. the problem is the bigoted man who refuses to check his ego and work on his bigotry.

    “i respect my husband’s disrespectful and prejudiced beliefs”

    great, lady. enjoy giving the eulogy at your son’s wake.

  38. FlexSF says

    @Joey, Have fun persuading people. “We are making great progress, but it will only continue if we persuade the opposition, not turn our backs on them.” Screw them. Fundamental rights are not possessions of any particular group, so the gays don’t need to kowtow to anyone for them. The gays deserve to be treated equally under the law, and if a group of voters doesn’t like that, too bad. The federal court system is more powerful than ignorant, anti-gay opposition, and is proving to be more reliable.

    Read more:

  39. says

    if you can’t have an honest and direct discussion with a loved one about how their intolerant, bigoted and prejudiced chosen beliefs are something that troubles you, then you are admitting that you fear that your partner in life hates _____ more than they love you.

  40. Lee says

    To Zabelfish: Cantor’s whole “gay-bashing as public policy” thing aside, if he is an ineffective representative, voters in his district must stop rewarding him by sending him back to Congress. Talk to all those you cite as feeling that he is unattached and non-responsive and decide among yourselves who would be a more responsive representative – begin promoting that person now, don’t wait for the next election cycle. Personally, I believe this “60 Minutes” puff-piece was simply a way to manipulate his public image for the 2012 campaigns by softening his bigotry with his wife’s “enlightened view” of same-sex marriage. McCain and Cheney both tried this tack – both remain bigoted in my opinion. Help us all by sending this guy out of the public policy arena. Lee

  41. JP says

    Maybe they have those conversations in private. Maybe she is influencing him in private. That would really be great for their marriage if she went on National TV saying she doesn’t respect her husbands views. Some of you are so naive.

    Lets recap… she supports gay marriage, but we are upset with her because she loves her husband and respects his views.

    Don’t throw the word bigot out either because it means different things to different people. Every family has some family member with various prejudices.

    These rigid doctrines of associations only with perfect people would destroy every family relationship and many friendships.

    I’m happy for you if all your family and friends support 100 percent of gay rights initiatives and always have… I just think if that is the case, you don’t live in the same word as most Americans.

  42. George M says

    Let me ask you all this questions, I ran in to it last year. One of my best friends (gay) tied the knot over the summer. I went of course but his 1st cousin did not. He said he loved him and wanted him happy but did not agree with same sex marriage. They have not spoken since. Some people agree that the cousin should be able to have his opinion and not go with out recourse, most believe it was total disrespect and I love you to a point. How would people handle that situation?

    I have to tell you, I would be hurt and don’t know if I could put that relationship back together. Things do hurt families, sometimes there’s no getting around it. I couldnt have a relationship with a guy who thinks we should settle for civil unions. (their are some out there)
    I know off topic, just a question

  43. JP says

    By the way, my opinion is that Cantors wife publicly supporting gay marriage is positive for the advancement of gay rights. Winning over some republicans is crucial to future victories. I also agree with Lee that we need to focus on electing better candidates where possible to replace people like Cantor.

  44. says

    “Every family has some family member with various prejudices.”

    speak for yourself. my family doesn’t do bigotry. i’ve been Out since my teens and there was indeed a lot of work done with extended family – but my family all possess strong hearts, minds and spines. we don’t tolerate anti-gay bigotry or racism or prejudices, even from other family members. if “family is important” then it is up to the prejudiced member to change, not the non-prejudiced ones to sit like doormats and “respect” the prejudice. prejudice doesn’t deserve respect.

    and my family lives in Canada. i guess that explains it, eh?

    “rigid doctrines”? “destroy every family relationship”? what are you talking about? it’s not the opposition to bigotry that destroys family relationships, IT’S THE BIGOTRY.

    the problem is her intellectually dishonest stance, once that i hear repeated by Americans far too often: “respecting” an opinion that is inherently disrespectful, harmful, and prejudicial.

    he is a bigot. those that oppose LGBT Equality are bigots. if people dont’ want to be called bigots then they can stop being bigoted. duh.

    prejudice and bigotry are like drug abuse or alcoholism: you don’t support the ‘afflicted’ person by saying “i respect your addiction, you keep drinking. i respect it”

    you let them know that you’ll work with them to help them change and see the light and find new understandings, but you will not under any circumstances allow them to sit there and keep guzzling booze.

    truly. we talk, and we help people work toward understanding. that does not happen, however, when one pathetically slinks back like a coward and claims to ‘respect’ those bigotries.

    jeez, some of the commenters on here sound like those GOProud boys who think their parents love them and accept them as gay, even though they’re against gay marriage. they’re wrong, you know. only anti-gay people are against gay marriage.

  45. classychazy says

    How you can surround yourself with people who only have one mindset?This has to boring and somewhat self centered. Everyone has the right to think, believe, and voice any opinion they chose. If you turn your back on someone who may not share you views tells me your a coward. Afraid maybe their own personal views will give you insight you may have overlooked or outright denied you feel. I have many friends that believe abortion is an awful thing where as I believe as long as its not being used as one woman’s birth control it is woman’s right to chose! There are many small minded people on this earth to turn your back on them will not help you change their views. If anything it will reinforce them.

  46. JP says

    @George… I think the big thing here is that the cousin refused to go to the wedding… I think most people who don’t support gay marriage, would still go to the wedding of a family member. Refusing to go is rather extreme.

  47. JP says

    Little Kiwi… Again if your entire family and all your friends support 100% of gay rights initiatives and have throughout your entire life, I am very happy for you, but that is not the reality of most Americans. As for Canada, I will not comment since I am not Canadian and the topic is about a US Politician.

  48. says

    classychazy, who said anything about “one mindset”?

    that the people in my life arent prejudiced bigots doesnt’ mean that they all share “one mindset”, unless you’re saying that you love the diversity of prejudices and bigotries that apparently colour your life.

    the different mindsets that make up the varied people in my life don’t centre around prejudice or bigotry.

    you’re not making any sense at all, Chazzy.

    it’s not boring nor is it self-centred to not having ignorant prejudiced bigots in your life. it is indeed cowardly to not call them on their bigotry.

    this is not about “different views”. this is not about “i like this film better than this film”. this is about a specific prejudicial mindset. it’s amazing that some of you can’t see that. well, not amazing. very sad, actually.

    that people seem to think being anti-gay is a “mindset” that makes things “interesting” is galling and pathetic. your lovely family no doubt misses segregation, big time.

  49. says

    “You want to be a part of my life, I’m not editing out the parts you don’t like. There’s one more thing you better understand. I have taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture – I can even pat myself on the back when necessary – all so I don’t have to ask anyone for anything. There’s nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect and anyone who can’t give me those two things has no place in my life.”

    Harvey Fierstein, Torch Song Trilogy

    the moment more of you learn this, understand it, and adopt it, then the faster our collective culture will get over anti-gay prejudice. stop condoning it, enabling it, refusing to challenge it, and stop “respecting” it. none of those things make it go away, they keep it alive.

  50. JP says

    I am not aware of one state, province or Country who passed a gay marriage law by calling opponents bigots. It is not a winning strategy whether you believe they are bigots or not… the winning strategy is showing people who are and why equality is important to us personally.

    Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of progress.

  51. says

    and no Equality has ever come from sitting back like a wimpy doormat and saying that you “respect” someone’s bigoted and disrespectful beliefs. it comes from challenging them, and from calling it out for what it is.

    and i didn’t say the support has been through my entire life. i was rather clear that i’ve worked hard for it, as has my family, by making it very clear that anti-gay bigotry is not something we respect, accept or condone.

    it’s just indicative of how strong anti-gay prejudice is in america that we have people on here saying that we need to respect the prejudice. would you say we need to respect racism and anti-semitism as well?

    wait. forget i asked that. it’s obvious that a number of you have racist family members who you obviously wouldn’t call out on their racism. you know, you wouldn’t wanna cause tension.

  52. JP says

    The struggles for racial, gender and religious equality under law has already been waged and won years ago. We are in a time that Gay rights is the current struggle and we are making greater strides, faster than any of those previous struggles. Again, I’m all for fighting for our rights with a winning strategy. I don’t think calling opponents bigots has ever won a civil rights struggle anywhere in the world at any time in History.

    The thread is about Cantor’s wife and I think her support is good for our cause.

  53. says

    George, your cousin showed he dislikes gays more than he cares about family.

    all too often LGBT people work the wrong battle – they think it’s about them winning back the love or acceptance of bigoted family members. wrong battle.

    it’s about bigoted family members realizing that if they want to be a part of the family, then they’re the ones who need to stop causing the tension: the tension is bigotry. the tension is not the people with integrity who call out the bigotry.

    “my husband is a great man, but he doesn’t think jews should be allowed to have the same rights as Christians and he works to pass bills into law that deny equality to jews. and i respect that.”

    how is this acceptable? are people really so brainwashed by bigotry in their own families that they accept it as OK or “normal”?

  54. says

    it’s not calling them bigots, it’s pointing out that their views are in fact just plain old bigotry.

    which should not be ‘respected’

    you cannot respect prejudice and bigotry. you can help a person get over it, and you can indeed work with them on it, just like people work with those struggling with substance addiction.

    but you dont’ sit there while he downs a bottle of vodka and respect him for it. that’s for the weak.

  55. JP says

    This is an amazing time in our History and a defining moment for the struggle of gay equality. Twenty years ago the vast majority of Americans were opposed to all gay rights initiatives. Since that time,we have won many battles. 20 years from know, I predict that we will have won the war. I do think its ok to call someone a bigot for hate and discrimination, except where we are still fighting the battle… like gay marriage, for example.

  56. TJ says

    I’m still catching up on these posts, but I have to agree (yet again) with KIWI. This isn’t a matter of a difference of opinion (e.g., my partner hates Woody Allen movies while I’m a fan). This is, I believe in equality while my partner believes that some people are undeserving. I can understand that for some, family is important, even overriding. The principle of family trumping other principles. Some people would protect a family member who committed murder. I’d expect better from someone who expected my loyalty. I put up with an awful lot on many fronts, as people need to in a civilized society. But some things I call out, some things I won’t accept, and if you expect to be considered a close friend or beloved family member, you give me love and respect. And you are the kind of person who is at the very least willing to learn how to love and respect others.

  57. classychazy says

    Little kiwi the comment you made about my family missing segregation was way out of line! My family is extremely evolved and I think you are a coward! You talk about bigotry, but instead of befriending someone who does not see things YOUR WAY you run the opposite direction. Then you have the Gaul to claim you have done away with people in your life that won’t support YOU! That’s is called being SELFCENTERED!! The world does not evolve around LGBT rights and people are allowed to believe any damn thing they want and the last time I checked gays could NOT wed in Canada so just because you come from there does not make you special.

  58. Acronym Jim says

    @JP: “I don’t think calling opponents bigots has ever won a civil rights struggle anywhere in the world at any time in History.”


    *picks jaw up off the floor and reattaches it and pokes eyes back into face*

    Pointing out bigotry in all its forms has always played a roll in the struggle for civil rights in the U.S. Check out Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I have a dream speech” particularly the section where he excoriates the Governor of Alabama.

    Here is another great post that explains the work that still needs to be done respecting both anti-gay and racist bigotry.

    Enlighten yourself JP. I’ve given you a starting point.

    P.S.: You’re welcome and you owe me a new pair of eyeglasses.

  59. says

    how am i coward? click my name and see who i am. you said that it would be “boring” to have “one mindset”, in response to me stating that there are no prejudiced bigots in my family.

    oh, and you’re wrong. Gay Marriage is legal all across Canada. Our first legal same-sex marriage was performed in 2001.

    LGBT Canadians have also been allowed to serve openly in the military since 1992.

    i never claimed to have, uh, “done away” with people who “don’t support me” – my family and i, and my friends, have simply made it very clear that we don’t condone or support or respect prejudice and bigotry. attempt to understand what that means.

    but thank you for your last post. in between the facts you clearly don’t know, the words you don’t know how to spell, and your insistence that bigots are allowed to be bigots, and there’s nothing wrong with it, you’ve proven yourself to be a big moron.

    so thanks. may you get kicked between the legs and never breed 😀

  60. JP says

    @little kiwi… you have made it clear why Eric Cantor doesn’t deserve your respect or the respect of his wife. can you explain why some of us don’t deserve your respect? A read through of your posts shows direct personal attacks on people’s intellect and opinions. For example, telling someone you disagree with that it is a good thing they aren’t going to have children.

    I hope you can see that you are every bit as small minded, offensive and disrespectful as some of the people you criticize.

  61. JP says

    I need no history lesson… Martin Luther King jr. was brilliant in changing minds and laws. Of course, it is ok to call out people for supporting violence. The analogy for gay marriage is the Civil Rights Act. Calling for equality under the law does not have to alienate people… King changed minds by making it about equality and fairness for black people, not by making it about his opponents.

  62. Acronym Jim says

    Martin Luther King, Jr. did more than just “call out people for supporting violence.” He also called out people for supporting bigotry and bigots. His own words directly contradict your statement “”I don’t think calling opponents bigots has ever won a civil rights struggle anywhere in the world at any time in History.”

    So yeah, I do think you need a history lesson; and you still owe me new virtual eyeglasses.

  63. classychazy says

    I looked at your constitution it has yet to be amended. Until it is then the your government does have the right not to look at your marriage as legal. I question anyone who surrounds themselves with those who only see one view to an issue. In order for us to be a society of free thinkers we must be just that. As far as your attack on my intellect I have found those who must point out others flaws are the ones running from their own. I believe in equality for everyone and I would love to see you even try to kick me in between the legs. Violent threats like that is why most people look at your posts as a joke.

  64. classychazy says

    Oh & just so you know I don’t breed I bear children. I have 2 teenagers a son 16 & a daughter 14. Both have gay and bi friends. I have taught them not to look at person by their race, religion, sex, or whom they chose to love. I have always told them to treat others the way you want to be treated. It is obvious to me your parents must have not taught you that or you would have more respect for others views.

  65. says

    chaz, what are you talking about? Gay couples can marry legally all across Canada. It’s been that way for years.

    Check out our Charter of Rights and Freedoms, lady.

    you clearly have no understanding of how Canada works. Marriage for gay couples has been legal in Canada for years. That you dont understand it doesn’t change that fact. That you continue to argue against that fact makes you look like an idiot. I’m not attacking your intellect, your continued insistence that gay couples cannot legally marry in canada is you proving yourself to be intellectually stunted.

    “I question anyone who surrounds themselves with those who only see one view to an issue.”

    What on earth does that mean? You question the fact that the people in my life are not prejudiced bigots? uh…..Ok….

    on some issues there IS only “one view”, one valid one at least. homophobia is wrong. you’re not noble for having friends who oppose LGBT Equality – you’re a doormat.

    you said earlier “The world does not evolve around LGBT rights and people are allowed to believe any damn thing they want ..”

    So you support the beliefs of anti-gay bigots? how about racists? anti-Semites?

    i respect other’s views – as long as they’re not indefensibly bigoted, prejudicial and without merit. some views are not worth respecting. racist ones. homophobic ones. anti-Semitic ones. you seem to think bigotry should be respected.

    you lose me there.

  66. classychazy says

    I think it is important to respect all views no matter how right or wrong they maybe. It is a persons fundamental right to believe what they want. Now here is where I draw the line teaching children hate that is form of child abuse. Once your a young adult you can look at things and form your own opinion. What I am trying to explain to you is I have people in my life that do not believe in gay marriage. These people know where I stand on this issue and a few I have debated this issue with. I have sheered them in the debate, but I refuse to push my own views down their throats. I will not stop talking with them, because they do not believe in something I do. I feel it is just a matter of respecting each others, belief good or bad. I am sorry if this offends you in anyway.

  67. says

    “It is a persons fundamental right to believe what they want.”

    Utterly false. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, everyone is not entitled to their own facts.

    here’s the point you miss: them being against gay marriage forces their bigoted beliefs onto the lives of LGBT people. you can, IN NO WAY “force your beliefs down their throats” as gay couples marrying in no way forces straight people to do ANYTHING.

    you think you’re “respecting others” by condoning their specific opinion, an opinion based on disrespecting LGBT people.

    reread that a few times until it sinks in.

    they choose to not respect _______. you respect them for not respecting ______.

    you haven’t offended me. you’re just not terribly useful in the fight against bigotry. “i respect your decision to not respect gay people” = your stance. it’s cowardly. and i feel bad for your children. and i’m done talking to you, it’s clear we’re not operating at the same intellectual level. best of luck in life.

  68. says

    do you respect the beliefs of the KKK? how about other neo-nazi groups?

    do you respect the views of those who just hate black people? do you respect their racism?

    or do you only have respect for those who are anti-gay?

  69. says

    “I think it is important to respect all views no matter how right or wrong they maybe.”

    Actually, it’s important NOT to respect views that support inequality towards fellow citizens. Because that’s what the Eric Cantors and Rick Santorums of the world are doing: they are saying that gay citizens are not equal to straight citizens. Why would I respect that? My only responsibility is to intelligently articulate my disrespect of their bigotry. I respect their right to say bigoted things, but not their bigoted views. Big difference.

    What should change is journalists letting politicians get away with blatant bigotry. Santorum just said that not only would he do everything he could to block marriage equality, he would seek to overturn the legal marriages of a class of US citizens: namely, gay citizens. He would grab the legal marriage license of 2 lesbians who’ve been together 40 years out of their hands; that’s what that means. It’s radical stuff, yet the lazy media lets him get away with it, because it’s still acceptable to be anti-gay in ways it’s not acceptable to be anti-other-groups.

    P.S. Andrew, at least you put “marriage equality” in the headline, but then “gay marriage” appears in the text. It’s NOT about banning gay marriage, it’s about banning gay citizens from having equal access to civil marriage. Don’t use the language of the homophobes, please.

  70. uffda says

    Kiwi@ How I wonder could you have seen past my subtlety? LOL.
    Most of us love you, at least a grudging little. Me more, grudgingly.
    Still, your earlier comparison to slavery and segregation is not sound, and on that score I win, I’m right and you’re wrong (a manner of obnoxious bully-style you may recognize). Nevertheless, big throb – personally poignant, puzzling, persistent and pointless.

  71. classychazy says

    You should not “feel sorry for my children” I have raised my children to respect others beliefs. I am with UFFDA your a bully. You look at things as if your not with me then your against me. To me this is not productive. When I say I respect others views I am speaking on the topic we are discussing not every topic of bigotry. I drive to Columbus,Ohio every year & march in the parade with my friends, because this issue is extremely important to me. When my children were younger I took them with. So they could see lesbians and gay people are just like everybody else on the face of the planet. I was raised by two gay men and I am a better person for it. They both taught me to respect others views and except the way to live others.
    As far as the KKK or flat out bigots I do not know anyone like that. If I did I would defend my stance on gay rights and equality for all! I am surround by people who think being homosexual is a choice. This drives me insane, because I know that is not true! I always tell them they need to speak to someone that is gay and do some serious research. If my father or his partner were alive today they would be so proud of the progress that has been made with gay rights in such a short period of time. That is the real issue here. I don’t know Mrs. MaCain personally so I can’t tell you if what she said is true or not, but I do give her credit for stating how she felt on television.
    Even though we don’t see eye to eye on some issues I still respect the way you think and feel about them.

  72. fredTT says

    Meanwhile back on planet Earth:

    Africa for the Africans,Asia for the Asians,white countries for EVERYBODY!

    Everybody says there is this RACE problem. Everybody says this RACE problem will be solved when the third world pours into EVERY white country and ONLY into white countries.

    The Netherlands and Belgium are just as crowded as Japan or Taiwan, but nobody says Japan or Taiwan will solve this RACE problem by bringing in millions of third worlders and quote assimilating unquote with them.

    Everybody says the final solution to this RACE problem is for EVERY white country and ONLY white countries to “assimilate,” i.e., intermarry, with all those non-whites.

    What if I said there was this RACE problem and this RACE problem would be solved only if hundreds of millions of non-blacks were brought into EVERY black country and ONLY into black countries?

    How long would it take anyone to realize I’m not talking about a RACE problem. I am talking about the final solution to the BLACK problem?

    And how long would it take any sane black man to notice this and what kind of psycho black man wouldn’t object to this?

    But if I tell that obvious truth about the ongoing program of genocide against my race, the white race, Liberals and respectable conservatives agree I am a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.

    They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-white.

    Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white.

  73. RJ says

    Well-said (many times over), Little Kiwi.

    @Classychazy, I think Ernie said it best. You can respect their RIGHT to have bigoted views but you are not required out of the goodness of your heart to respect those views at all.

    There’s a tendency for some to confer false equivalency between equality and bigotry. People who believe in the principle of equality deserve respect. People who believe in inequality and bigotry do not deserve respect for those viewpoints. It’s quite simple really.

  74. Paul R says

    I haven’t read every single post word by word here because I have to work, eat, and sleep, but I can’t believe that, aside from the common trope of liberal wife/hateful GOP politician, it hasn’t simply been pointed out that women tend to be more liberal, understanding, and empathetic than men.

    The only straight men who show up here either condemn us, love Ron Paul, or both. But we have several straight women on this post who are on our side. There are probably more straight women who comment regularly than there are lesbians. And most don’t say radically hateful or stupid things. They express their views.

    Ms. Cantor, as a senior exec at Goldman Sachs, almost certainly has made far more money than her vile husband at points in their lives. She could easily have left him and done quite well for herself, personally, financially, and otherwise. So she stayed with him either because she likes the power that comes with it or because she loves him.

    No one outside a relationship can ever understand the dynamics within that relationship. Maybe he manipulates her, and she has self-esteem issues that allow it. Maybe she drinks too much and pops a ton of pills. Maybe she ran over a bunch of kids and he covered it up in exchange for her sticking with him. Maybe one or both were raised to think that divorce isn’t an option. Maybe they’re both craven, power-hungry monsters.

    Frankly I don’t care. I don’t respect either of them, and if he came out tomorrow and said he was in full support of marriage equality, it wouldn’t matter a bit to me. He’s a political opportunist. Frankly I give Cheney more credit—he supported DADT repeal and has supported marriage equality for a long time, and he defines craven and opportunist. And those beliefs are largely driven by his lesbian daughter.

    I suspect that Ms. Cantor has a gay or two in her family tree, or might not be so welcome in the corporate world if she were viewed as a bigot. (Newsflash: Goldman Sachs has a lot of high-level gays in its ranks, as do plenty of law firms and financial service firms, and no I’m not just talking hearsay.) I suspect the same might be true of Mr. Cantor, but he’s willing not to care. I have no use for either of these people.

  75. Ricco says

    JP asks: “Would you disown a family member for being against gay marriage?”

    JP – you have not been listening . . . at all. Disown a family member? Why, JP, many of us have been disowned by our families for being gay. Many of us have families who cast their votes against us, who like our enemies, and those we do not call family, would deny us the same rights they enjoy in this country.

    One might, like Jesus . . . republicans do love to talk about Jesus . . . ask: “Who is my brother? Who is my father, my mother?”

    Is that woman my mother who does not care that I enjoy in this nation the same rights as her straight sons and daughters, and votes accordingly?

    Is that man my brother who does not care that my children, his niece and nephew, are under the same protections as his children, just because my spouse is a man, and not a woman?

    This is not a question of disowning, JP, but a question of knowing who is your family.

    But here is one thing you fail to understand, JP: Eric Cantor is not Diana Marcey Fine’s (aka Mrs. Eric Cantor) family. You can tell as their surnames are different.

    You cannot choose your family . . .we have all heard that little adage, and it is universally accepted as a truism. We do, however, choose who we will marry, and when you marry a bigot, when you marry a rapist, a murderer, a child molester, and you support and make lame excuses for their behavior, well then you are judged by the company you keep.

    Of course, people who summarily judge and condemn a person simply for the people we see them out and about town with is, well, simplistic.

    One has to delve a little deeper, ask the right questions, or in the case with Diana Cantor, only listen.

    We listened. She said she was ONCE a liberal democrat . . . whatever that may mean to a politician like Diana Cantor (and she is a politician . . . she is a lawyer) God (if there is a God) only knows, and she said that she supported gay marriage and equal rights. These are the very fundamentals that make up our moral compass, so when we hear her make all these claims about her moral compass, while simultaneously saying that she surrendered her values to marry a bigot, and a liar well we would be idiots to conclude anything but that Diana Fine-Cantor’s compass is broken.

    That does not make us judgmental, but discerning, which is something bigots and liars hate most . .. discerning people.

  76. stand by your man says

    She’s kinda like a Jewish Eva Braun. (That’s a WW2 reference, you know, Hitler’s main squeeze). Tough position to be in. Like her, hate him.

    (I hope it’s OK to post on Little Kiwi’s blog, just kidding Kiwi)

  77. The Milkman says

    It all comes down to a simple question… do you think that people like me possess equal citizenship and equal humanity? If the answer is no, then there really isn’t much to talk about after that, is there?

    There are lots of things about GLBT equality that are complicated and nuanced. This part, by contrast, is not. It’s a yes or no question, no matter how much the bigots like to dance around it.

  78. says

    Not all opinions, views, and beliefs are worth respecting. In fact, some are downright dangerous, and must be fought, resisted and changed. For instance, the Romans believed that infants are not fully human yet, so if you can’t afford to raise one, you exposed it in the forest or leave it under a bridge or by the banks of the Tiber. Before the advent of antibiotics, abortions were 90% fatal(sepsis), like a battle wound that penetrates the thorax. American slaveholders were at home with the belief that Africans were subhumans, even well into the century when some of them began not just to enter educational institutions but excel in them. American evangelical Christians are at home with the belief that the Bible trumps the Constitution, and the wall that separates religion and government should remain solid against Muslims and other non-Christian, non-evangelical belief systems but porous to evangelical Christians, at the top of which are, of course, white males. Even beliefs that espouse complete non-violence reach their point of logical absurdity when it becomes obvious that there is a point in a people’s history when they must rise up in arms to overthrow their oppressors. The belief that homosexuals must not have access to the same rights as heterosexuals derive from the main scriptural and unequivocal condemnation of homosexuality as an abomination punishable by death. These two beliefs lie along a continuum, and it’s not that difficult to toggle back and forth. It’s quite possible that Mr. Cantor, unbeknownst to Mrs Cantor,is pals with the evangelicals that feed Leviticus to Africa and so she only sees the No-To-Homo-Weddings side of her politician husband and feels that such a “belief” and “opinion” is not malignant enough for her to feel morally threatened and divorce him like the plague.

  79. TJ says

    Fighting for rights versus begging for them. One demands justice, the other yearns for it. One demands that rights be acknowledged, the other hopes they will be given. One challenges the concept that rights are given rather than inherent. One challenges the concept that rights are something that one group grants to another. Practically speaking, power is rarely shared willingly, and those in power take all manor of charming, cajoling, coercing, and challenging to give some up. But I don’t see how approaching these issues with hat in hand, begging rather than demanding, is an acceptable, “go to” strategy. I see no benefit in respecting a disrespectful opinion.

  80. Ricco says

    All of us, in some measure, owe Martin Luther King Jr. a debt of gratitude . . . but whatever accolades have deservedly been attributed to King, it is naive, in the extreme, to suppose that his non-violent stance, alone.

    Malcolm X, as a man willing to reexamine his political views, willing to grow, who proved in the course of his life that he was not static, played a very large part. Sometimes people are forced to defend them selves.

    I don’t think we would be where we are today as a nation without the contributions of both King and Malcolm X.

    NO – one does not have to respect bigotry, or remain passive in the face of overt oppression, treating passive, lazy support, and the mere wagging of tongues as actual support.

    Next you will be saying that the world should have respected the political opinions of Hitler and the Nazi party.

    Now, keep your britches on, no one is comparing Hitler to the more mundane opinions of others . . . we will leave that to the republican party . . . what I am saying is that much harm comes when people make excuses for bigotry and intolerance.

    We have kids committing suicide. I, myself, have been assaulted by perfect strangers because they perceived my orientation was not what they would have it. Gay people have been brutally murdered in this country. As early as the 1950,s our government conducted a witch hunt to root out gays and fire them, and destroy their lives.

    The 1950’s too far back for some of you who don’t count so well, then how about American Christian’s, and politicians who are actively involved with Uganda’s Kill The Gay’s Bill . . . and we should respect them why?

    Right now

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